Deadpool's Point Of View

Wow! Imagine that!

I couldn't believe that that fe/male saw me in a bad position.

Try to be more careful next time! God, you both are such children!

I rounded another corner as I saw less and less people around but unfortunately, more and more buildings. I couldn't risk others seeing me! They would bombard me with questions and worse, they would get onto me. "Alrighty," I mumbled to myself. I could see my apartment right up ahead when suddenly, I picked up a warm and greasy smell. I skidded to a stop as I turned my head to the source of the smell.

Mmmmmmmmm...................chimichangas!

Goddamn it Wade!

Awwww.......but we worked hard today!

When you regrow your hands, then we'll eat.

But that takes forever!

Would you like to meet your old 'friends' again?

But! But! But!

Sigh, he's right. We'll have to wait.

Thank you.

Wait, if we don't have hands, then how the hell are we suppose to get into our apartment?!

...........................

AH SHIT!

We're so fucked tonight.

Great..........we can't even do much without the important use of our fucking hands!

So............what do you want to eat?

I had plans tonight!

Really?! Like what?

Watching the Golden Girls.

I don't know, is that show like..........dead or something?

Ah, shut up.

I decided to pick up my feet to a walk as I hid my arms behind my back. No one couldn't see this. And I may have to unalive that fe/male if we were to ever cross paths again.

Is it just me?

Sigh.........what is it now?

But that fe/male sure looked hot!

We only just met the poor fe/male. I'm pretty sure s/he is traumatized for life because of us!

Curoiusty killed the cat ya know?

AAAAAAAAArrrrrreeeeeee wwwwwweeee tttttheeerrreeee yyyyyyeeeeetttt?!

The rain had slowed down to a drizzle. Honestly, I became lost in my own thoughts as I could see the apartment building. I felt something start to wiggle in my wrist. I looked down to see a small fetus hand pop out of both of the stubs that weren't there before.

Oh goodie goodie!

Well, at least we're alive tonight!

Whoo! Now, can get chimichangas?!

Our hands do not work immendiatley. Give 'em an hour or two?

Normally, it's fifteen minutes before they come back to life. I wonder where my old hands went?

Eh, who needs 'em? At least we're coming home tonight!

I picked up the speed to a run to get home faster. I raced up the stairs to three floors as I saw lights inside start to turn off.

Ninja mode activated!

I grew more stealthy and began to tip toe quietly. I saw my apartment at the end. Number 98. I approached the door and rammed into it, pulling out two pistols. The door opened with my force as I burst into the living room. I stood still as I scanned around the room, pistols locked and loaded.

All seems quiet.

Too quiet.

Did we happen to order pizza?

"Um! Are-Are you Mister Wilson?" A female voice asked from behind me. I spun around and saw a red head standing there with a pizza box with it open, letting out the odors of heaven. I dropped my pistols onto the ground and dropped my arms to my side.

Yummity, yummity, yummity!

Eh.

I nodded and the red head pushed the pizza into my arms. "Crisp high five?" The red head asked. "No, crisp high ten!" I exclaimed, setting the pizza gently onto the floor. The female held up her hands and we high tenned each other. The female then closed the door to my apartment. I looked down at the pizza on the ground, then picked it up. Turning around, I walked to the dining table in my kitchen. I rested my sweet ass onto about the only chair that hadn't been broken. I set the pizza box on my lap and put my boots up onto the table as I pulled a greasy pizza off the bottom of the box. I lifted up my mask that covered my mouth. I brought the pizza to my mouth and bit down, chewing the crusty bread slaughtered with tomato sauce and cheese.

Why don't we ever pay the poor girl?

Ha, ha, ha! Why should we when we can get all the free weekly pizzas we want?!

Besides, aren't we like broke or something?

We have $800 in our safe underneath our bed and you say we're 'broke'!

Maybe he meant it as in mentally?

Eh, fuck society's morals.

Oh well........

Goodie!

I stood up and sat down in my comfortable chair in the living room area. I picked up the remote and pressed a button, turning the TV on. I immediately heard the intro to Golden Girls. "Everyone shut up! Golden Girls is on!" I announced to really no one, expect my two voices.

Our favorite show!

Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo! Boo!

Shut up and enjoy the show child.

I swallowed the bite of my pizza that I had been chewing for about a minute. I looked down to see that my hands had changed from fetus hands to slowly growing bigger and better. I looked up at the TV to see my favorite girls appear on the screen. I laid back in my chair and watched the screen. Unfortunately, I heard a knock on the door.

Goddamn it!

Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!

I rose up from the comfortable chair. I walked to the door and twisted the knob, opening the door. There stood the red head once again. "Whatcha here for kiddo?" I asked. "I have come for dinner!" The red head exclaimed.

YYYYYeeeeesssssss, let's have some fun!

"You are one kinky motherfucker." The red head said as she crossed her arms across her chest. I shrugged and stepped aside as the red head came in. I then sprinted to claim my comfortable chair. I jumped into it and slid down. "Just so ya know, this chair is mine." I reminded her as I pointed my finger at her. I then twirled my finger around in a circle.

"And please! Continue the story." I added while smirking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌✌~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yup, I'm in here too!
~I.H.