Francis's Point Of View

Coffee or tea? Really something ironic. I've done the research to know that coffee and tea can help prevent cancer. Wade doesn't know it yet but, I'm about to kill him real good. I turned my head to look at the moping miscreant. He had the look of murder in his eyes, no doubt. Not now though. "So........how's your love life going?" I asked, tauntingly. "Well," He began, clicking his tounge. "Thanks for the repeat!" He responded, pointing two fingers at me. I thought of that as odd but.....I shrugged it off. I've seen odder. Or more........crazier. As always as crazy as he can get.

"You know Wade, I'm quite jealous of your lifestyle. You're rich, pretty much immortal, and! Probably the best thing is that you have much more excitement in your life." I commented. "Well, it sucks to be you!" Wade responded. I chuckled at him. Oh how I envy you Wade Wilson. I looked up ahead to see the last street corner that lead to the café. Maybe we could finally sort this out. "So.....how's your love life going? Anything sweet?" Wade asked me. "Oh......oh......ohhhhhh! Well..." I bit my lip as I recalled the many women I paid to lay.

"Kinda......personal." I responded, letting out a chuckle. "C'mon! It's not like ya set a world record or somethin'!" Wade nudged me slightly with his elbow. "I wouldn't really.....say that I have any lovers." I responded. Do I dare acknowledge what I've gotten myself into? Wade began to laugh at me. Don't you know it's rude to laugh at one's own shame? "Well I have a avocado for a face!" Wade acknowledged, pointing at his face. Huh. Well, this is going well. "It's a sure shame you ain't dead..." I could hear him whisper under his breath. He chuckled in an attempt to cover up his sick joke.

This guy has some.........issues.... I stepped a couple of feet away from him, just in case he had the idea of lopping my head off. I looked up ahead to see the café close. Thank God! I looked over at Wade. "Are we there yyyeeeeeeettt?" He whined. I sighed and shook my head. "38 more words to go." Wade responded to apparently.........someone? I looked over at him with a look of confusion. What the? You know what! Screw it! I picked up the pace as Wade followed close behind. "4....3...2..1." Wade announced. Why is he counting? Why is he counting? This scares me. This.....This really scares me!

"We're here at Stunkbucks huh?" Wade asked. I stopped in my tracks to look up ahead. There the café stood with the sign swinging back and forth with the wind. "You've gotta be kidding me! Stunkbucks?!" Wade exclaimed. I turned around, raising an eyebrow at him. "Is........something the matter?" I asked. Wade nodded and crossed his arms across his chest. "Stunkbucks is so common! Why...Why can't it-it be.......oh I don't know! Somethin' else?!" Wade complained. He sighed and began to rub his temples. He stopped with a snap. He then looked up at the sign. "That's much better." Wade said and walked over to the glass doors, pushing them open. Confused, I turned my attention back to the sign. Instead of it saying Starbucks, it read Stunkbucks. OOOOOkkkkaaaaaayyy? I just decided to ignore it and followed behind him. Surely, this wouldn't effect anything...right?

I entered to see not many people. The most I've really seen had been famous celebrities with their fans outside, dying to just get in. But, this new version of 'Starbucks' had people drinking hot chocolate. I looked up at the menu to just see different types of hot chocolate.

Mega Marshes & Hot Chocolate......$2.50.
Whipped Chocolate......$3.00.
Mini Marshes & Hot Chocolate......$1.50.
Artist's Hot Chocolate......$4.00.
Hot Chocolate......$1.00.
Donut Worry......$5.00.
Junk In The Trunk......$7.00.
Thanks For Your Entertainment......$5.30.
Memories......$4.99.
Hotel Hot......$2.99.
Mabel Juice......$2.88.

My God! So many choices! I just stood there with my mouth open, basically drooling over every option. "Hey! Francis! Thanks for the memories!" Wade yelled. I snapped out of my gaze to see Wade standing there with two hot chocolates. "Starbucks is so overrated anyway..." Wade said. I would've protested but the aroma of the hot chocolate made me think otherwise. I snatched one of the hot chocolates from his hands. I put the lid to my lips, taking a sip. "Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Let's get settled over there!" Wade interrupted me before I could even get invested into the drink. He pointed over to a table near a window. As if it couldn't get any hotter! But, we both decided to just sit down and talk. Wade pulled out a chair for me then ran over to the other side, taking his seat. "I appreciate your efforts trying." I commented. "Eh." Wade responded, shrugging. "Might as well make your life easier..." Wade added. Curious...but I'm not one to snoop. I took another sip of the hot chocolate, suddenly tasting a cold and slimy substance. I immendiatly spit it out onto the table. "Wh-Wh-What th-th-the h-h-h-h-he-he-" I stuttered through my gagging.

"Did I forget to mention that I ordered Mabel Juice just for you?! It's like coffee and nightmares had a baby!" Wade answered my question. He then began to laugh as I countied to suffer. That! That! That! That's quite enough! I will get you back Wilson! I will! Wade began to wipe at an eye as my gagging came to a halt. I took in a breath and rolled my eyes at him. "You slick.....thanks for the near death experience!" I hissed. Wade began to clap at his cruel joke. "I've got more than that Francis! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!" Wade began to laugh once again.

But with me joining in.

✌✌✌✌✌
Hey!
Look at that!
I'm becoming tame!
~I.H.