"He that is not jealous is not in love." –Saint Augustine

Chapter 18:

I adjusted the long lace white gown as I checked my reflection on the full length mirror in front of me.

"You look so beautiful," Steph said, placing her hands on my shoulder blades, I gave her a sweet smile.

I went to play with the pendant of my necklace, it was the teddy bear that Sab gave me on our 8th birthday—I practically begged Steph to incorporate it with the outfit—at least even if my family is not here to support me, I still have Sab's presence with me.

My hand lowered down to the charm bracelet that Chris gave me last night. For the record, I didn't sleep tight, he's like the weather that's constantly changing and figuring him out, kept me up all night.

It's not like this is the first premiere that I'm attending, I've attended some of the movies I co-starred at and hell I get so nervous. Now I'm the lead lady in the movie, I'll be carrying a lot of burden as I walk through the red carpet, the thought alone turned me into a nervous wreck.

"Damn woman, do you desire to break my hand?" Chris complained, he was the one sitting next to me in the limo, so I have no choice but to hold his hand to ease my nervousness.

I quickly let go of it, I didn't even realize that I've been holding it that tight.

"Sorry!" I sheepishly said, "I'm just so nervous."

Chris put my hand on his again, squeezing it with reassurance.

"Don't worry Clary, everything will be okay." He said, with a smile "I'm sure you did great on the movie."

I rolled my eyes at him, "I don't think so."

"You're a great actress, Clary. I watched one of your movies before." He reasoned "Don't you dare argue with me."

I stared at my lap, my other hand fiddling with my pendant. "What if I freeze on the red carpet? Chris you know what cameras do to me."

"I'll snap you back to reality." He said, drawing circles on the back of my hand with his thumbs

"What if I trip?" I asked again

Chris laughed, probably imagining the scene, "I'll catch you."

"What if—," I started again

He shook his head firmly not allowing me to continue what I want to say. "Enough with the what ifs, I'll just be there beside you until the end, don't worry."

As soon as he finished talking, we pulled over the venue.

"Ready?" he asked

I composed myself, sighing once more before nodding.

Chris offered me a smile, "If it helps you, you look stunning."

Before I can react at what he had said the car door opened, Chris went down first before he gently took my hand, helping me out of the car. As soon as I emerged, I was welcomed by the blinding flashes.

The walk through the red carpet is nerve wracking yet once you get to the mid-point, there's a kind of rush that'll make the nervousness fade away and let you enjoy the moment.

My nervousness lessens down probably because there was Chris who stayed by my side and held my hand. Chris' words didn't help though, my heart didn't hammer because I was nervous, it hammered because of Chris' flattering words, and it made me light-headed the whole time.

We stopped to pose for some pictures, and then a lady approached us for a brief interview before we proceed inside the theatre.

My hands suddenly became sweaty once we were seated on the assigned seats. I wasn't really fond on watching myself act.

I briefly introduced Chris to my co-stars before the lights went out. They are finally happy that they could meet the Chris Jameson I had been dating for '3 months' probably four going to five now. A shame that I haven't introduce him to Ralph, since he was busy talking to his critics at the moment.

My heart thumps on my chest as the 20th Century Fox showed on the big screen and the lights are all out.

"It's dark but I can see you turning pale." Chris commented

He held my hand and placed a reassuring kiss on it.

When my face is shown on the screen, a blush crept into my cheeks, in addition to the fact that I can feel Chris staring at me time after time.

Then it comes to the part of the movie, where my character reunited with Dave's. It's also the part where the kissing scene is and it actually gets heated. Tell you what; it was awkward to witness yourself kissing someone on the big screen.

I felt Chris' hand tightened its grip on mine, making me look at him in instance. His eyes are focused on the screen; I can see his Adam's apple bobbing and his jaw tensing.

I placed a hand on his upper arm, making him look at me.

"Are you okay?" I asked him quietly

He nodded giving me a smile, "Yeah, just continue watching."

I averted my gaze on the screen that is now showing a different scene.

We were on the way to the after party, we changed to clothes that are more suitable for partying.

"You did great, Clary!" Chris said

Chris hasn't stop talking since we left the theatre. He told me about his favourite scenes and something about convincing his whole team to watch it. Of course, he always manages to say a couple of compliments to me discreetly.

"I'm so proud of you." He said, cupping my cheeks in the process

I was too stunned to even speak, he manage to plant a quick kiss on my lips making my eyes widen. Chris seemed to be surprised as well, the way his eyes widened when his eyes opened after the kiss. He stepped back like he seemed to catch himself.

He nervously rubbed the back of his neck, "Sorry—I—I just got caught up in the moment." He sheepishly said.

I tried to look everywhere but him, before I decided to just look down. "I think we should go." I said grabbing his hands to the hall where the after party is being held.

I could hear the music from the opposite side of the door as we got close, I walked faster to end the awkward torture between Chris and I. I pushed the door opened and I was welcomed by the hugs of my fellow co-stars.

"Oh my god!" Ana said as she went running towards me, "We did it!"

I chuckled at her, letting go of Chris hands to return her hug.

"You did great, Ana." I smirked at her

When Ana left to get some drinks for her, I was left again with Chris, I readied myself for another awkward moment with him, I slowly looked up at him, only to see him looking at somewhere else, I followed his gaze leading to a blonde girl.

I mentally shrugged, old habits do die hard.

As I narrowed my eyes to see who the girl is, I stepped back in realization. What is Sandy Adamson doing here?

"Hey, I think I saw Sandy there, I'll go talk to her." Chris said, without even waiting for my reply, his grip on my hand loosens as he sauntered on her direction.

Wow, gentleman rule #1: Leave your girlfriend to talk to your ex.

Technically, I'm not exactly his girlfriend because of the fact that we're just fake dating but as long as there's a contract he is my boyfriend and he was my date and he's not supposed to be leaving me for another girl, it doesn't hurt to be polite.

Plus, can he be blunter? He finally know that I'm the Clarissa Humphrey from the past and that girl he's talking to right now hates me, the best he could do is stay away but instead what did he do? He left me alone and went to talk to him.

"Why is the star of the night alone?" somebody asked me

I turned around only to be in front of Ralph, I engulfed him in a big hug, thanking him for the opportunity at the same time.

"So, where's this boyfriend of yours?" Ralph asked "I missed the chance to meet him a while ago."

"He was talking to a friend." I shrugged

It's not like I'm going to say that he left me for his ex.

"Will he get mad if I buy you a drink, then?" Ralph said

I rolled my eyes, "That's non-sense, Ralph."

Ralph is the youngest director I worked with, probably the hottest too. Even at his 30s he managed to compete with guys ten years younger than him.

Dilton once mentioned that Ralph is one of his choices of the guys I'll fake date. Yet he went against it because according to him it'll be an issue than good publicity, coz people will all think that he only got me as a lead because we're dating, but mostly it's because Ralph is batting for the other team.

We took a sit on the bar asking for our drinks.

"I can tell that the movie is going to be a great success." Ralph said "Don't forget, we still have to film to more movies for the trilogy."

I smiled at him, "Sure, I love filming with you and the rest of the casts."

We continued to chat, but even a blind man can see that I am distracted, my eyes continued to scan the room for a certain brunette.

That's when I spotted him at the other end of the room, leaning against a cocktail table, chatting with Sandy like he is having the time of his life.

"When you said that he was talking to a friend, you forgot to mention it was a girl." Ralph pointed out, following the direction of my gaze.

"I'm not jealous." I defended

I heard Ralph laughed, "Honey, I never said you were."

I avoided his eyes, feeling a blush crept on my face.

"Are you sure you're not?" he teased "If looks can kill, that girl will already be six feet underground."

I glared at him.

"See, jealousy is radiating from your eyes." He shrugged

I took a sip on my drink that is left on the bar, not even taking my eyes off Sandy and Chris.

Ralph pried the drink off my hand, "You need to loosen up, let's go dance."

He dragged me out of my stool, leaving me no choice but to follow him into the crowd of sweaty bodies dancing like there's no tomorrow. But hey, if Chris is having fun right now then so can I. With that, I started loosening up my stiff body and decided to move my body to the music.

The alcohol and the adrenaline is the main sources of my new found confidence, making my body do move that I thought I couldn't do. I danced alongside Ralph afraid to get lot on the crowd of people I'm not familiar with.

I saw Ralph saying some words to me, I didn't hear any of it because of the loud music and unfortunately I can't lip read. I gave him a confused look and he repeated what he said again, yet I didn't have any of it.

"What?" I exclaimed

Finally getting tired of our situation, I started to lean closer to hear what he wants to say, but before I can do so, somebody tugged on my arm, preventing me to get any closer.

I turned to see Chris staring intently at me, his jaws fixed.

"Hey!" I greeted

He ignored what I said and tugged in my arm again, "Can we go home?" he asked

So after he had his fun, he's asking me to go home. I ain't even having fun yet.

"I'm not feeling well." He quickly added

My annoyance disappeared and was replaced with concern.

"Are you okay?" I immediately asked, inching the back of my hand to his forehead to check his temperature but he swatted it away.

He rolled his eyes, "Let's just go!"

I nodded at him, turning around to say goodbye to Ralph but before I can even look for him, Chris is already dragging me out of the room.

By the way his grip on me tighten, I could feel that something's definitely gonna go wrong.