"Losing him was blue like I'd never known, missing him was dark grey all alone, forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you never met, but loving him was red." -Taylor Swift, Red

Chapter 16:

I found myself back in my hotel room overlooking the busy streets of San Francisco.

I left Sarah's LA home early in the morning to be here with enough time to get ready for the said interview.

Steph just finished doing my hair and makeup and I entrusted her to look for some piece of clothing in my luggage to go with the other clothes that she brought.

"Sweetie, you'll wear this on the individual interview." She said holding a cute top, a leather jacket and black jeans; it looks like something my movie character will wear. "And this is for the second interview," she raised a plain blue summer dress.

I absentmindedly gave her a nod, indicating that I approve her choices. After all, her fashion sense is better than mine and especially better than Dilton's.

To be honest, I couldn't care less on what I wear or how I look, there's so many things going on in my mind right now so that was the least of my concern.

"Sweetie, are you okay?" Steph asked, her face shows nothing but concern, "You're not being yourself."

I gave her a reassuring smile, "I'm fine, Steph." I told her "I'm just nervous, after all this is the first movie that I will be the main character."

Part of it wasn't a lie, since I'm really a nervous wreck, but that's not why I'm acting weird. I just can't help that my mind always drifted to Chris.

"I know, sweetie," she grinned "I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks, Steph." I said giving her my best smile.

When Dilton found me, Steph took over the motherly role. She gave me all the care a mother is supposed to give her child. The kind, that I didn't had a chance to experience when I was growing up to my real mother.

"I couldn't have done it without you and Dilton." I sincerely said.

She smiled and gave me a hug, "Remember that we'll always be there for you."

I hug her tighter, "Thank you."

She laughed, "No problem, Clary." She said "Now, let's stop this before everything gets sappy and you ruin your makeup."

I laughed with her before I change to the clothes she picked for me.

After I was done changing, Steph is already carrying the things we'll need.

"Let's go sweetie, before Dilton lose his composure"

On the car ride, my nervousness can't seem to ease. At the back of my mind, I wished that Chris would be here to squeeze my hand and tell me it'll be alright.

To say that I miss Chris is an understatement; everywhere I look San Francisco seems to remind me of a certain hazel eyed, brunette. San Francisco is where we first meet for the second time, as both different persons. This is where we begin again.

I can see Chris having the time on his life in Penn, with his old friends and probably with Sandy too, while I sulk here. Why do I even need to care about him? Why did I even fell for him? Of all the people, I choose Christopher Jameson; I am one hell of a smart girl.

But what if he's back together with Sandy? I mentally scold myself for thinking like that. He could still date since we're just in a fake relationship-that is supposed to be 'no strings attached'-just until my movie premieres, which will be held this week.

I can see him coming up with an excuse on Albert, when he asks where I am. It made me sad to think that I couldn't see Albert again without getting to Chris.

"Sweetie, we'll go through the back door, okay?" Steph informed me, before we got out of the car and headed straight into the studio where the interviews are gonna be held.

Once we're in, I saw the familiar faces of my co-stars and our director.

"There is our leading lady," our director, Ralph said, beckoning me to come forward.

"Now we're complete, let's take the picture." Ana, who plays as my best friend in the movie said.

This is my third movie with Ana, the two of us tend to stick together as much as possible, and we became friend when we met at an audition for a cameo role on Pretty Little Liars.

I stood between Ralph and my lead man, Dave, before the other cast stood beside us or crouched in front of us. I tried to give my best smile on the picture, just thinking about being happy and of course the upcoming movie. Trying hard to forget Chris, but it seems impossible because his face seem to be popping in my head every minute.

I feel my smile falter but I quickly compose myself and smile for the next picture.

One of my co-stars is already sent inside the room for her individual interview, so we're currently lounging at the waiting room.

"So, Clary," Dave called, "How come we never know you have a boyfriend?"

Ana looked at us, immediately interested at the topic, "Yeah, we've been filming for months, yet you haven't mentioned him."

I warmly smiled and tried to look love struck, despite the fact I was hurting and I'm dreading to talk about Chris in any way.

"He wants everything to private, so we kept it that way until a month ago." I told her.

I was surprised that it's already been a month before we started fake dating.

"He didn't even visit." Ana huffed

"He was busy training for the season while we film." I explained

"Such a shame," Dave said "We would like to meet him."

"Isn't he in San Francisco?" Ana hopefully asked

I dejectedly shook my head, "No, he's visiting family."

Dave looked at me curiously, "How did you met since he's an east coast kid?"

"A mutual friend invited me to go to an after party after their team won, when I went to New York," I smoothly lied, "Same friend that introduced us to each other."

"You guys are so cute," Ana cooed

I shook my head, "Oh please, Ana."

She rolled her eyes, "Seriously, you guys are my OTP."

Finally, I got called for my individual interview, I entered a dark room, I shivered as the cold air came in contact with my skin, I sat on the black chair, in front of our movie poster.

"Hello!" I greeted once a blonde woman sat adjacent to me.

She gaped at me, "You're so much prettier in person," she said "Anyway, let's start."

The interview went well; it's just all about the movie. In fact it made me forgot about Chris in a span of two minutes and a lot of spare.

She asked me about my character, like who she is in the movie. I gave her some of the details just enough to leave the audience hanging, making them want more. She also asked about how is it working with the cast and I really enjoyed that part as I gave her a kinda 'sneak a peek' on our filming shenanigans.

"Thank you so much, for your time." She told me as I exited the room.

I started to get ready for the second interview, as soon as I'm done we waited at the lounge for the last one to finish his individual interview before we proceed to the studio for our second interview.

"I heard that this one will be personal." Ana whispered

That made me anxious the whole interview, the host decided to put me last so I witnessed my co-stars get interviewed and get to be put on a hot seat.

It wasn't about the movie anymore, well at first it was but that segment is already done. Now they're going one by one and talking about our life's latest gossip. I mentally rolled my eyes, it's pretty obvious what they'll ask for me.

"Now, for our stunning leading lady, Clary." The host said "Suddenly you went public on dating New York Giants' quarterback, Chris Jameson."

"Yeah, that's right." I nodded in confirmation

"The two of you are spotted going to his hometown together, yet you came back alone for what reason?"

I tried to maintain my composure, "Well, I have to be present to this interview." I said with a smile

"We're flattered," he said, holding a hand above his heart, "Now, you left your boyfriend on the East Coast and went back to the West Coast, it must've taken a lot of trust."

I furrowed my eyebrows at the statement, "It's an essential to a relationship." I managed

"Let's check what's happening back home then." He said and on cue pictures of Chris strolling in the park with Sandy flooded the screen.

I can practically hear my heart break, so they started hanging out after I left, wow. From what I am seeing, he looks happy and that hurts like hell.

"Oh, that's one of his high school friends." I told him, surprised at myself on how I can maintain a happy expression when inside I'm crumbling to pieces. "In fact he even introduced me to her."

"Are you certain that he ain't gonna cheat?" the host asked, I know they want this certain reaction from me but I'm not going to give them that.

I nodded with a coy smile, "Yes, Chris isn't the type to cheat and because I love and I trust him."

The crowd 'aw'ed after that, we talked for a while before the bouquets are sent in for Ana and I, as we bid our goodbyes.

We all parted after that, the cast and crews just wanting to take the rest of the day off.

As I was finally at the comfort of my room, the tears I've been holding finally fell from my eyes unstoppably. Now I have to see Chris again at the premiere night, coz it's part of the deal. Meaning, I'll see him 2 days from now and I still think I can't do it.