"You can't pretend forever."

Chapter 14:

We got home with enough time to get ready for the reunion. Chris and I drove home in silence, him giving me time to think about what happened a while ago.

I hastily made my way to the house once he pulled over the driveway, halfway through the door, I heard him call my name.

"Clary," he said making me look back at him "Be ready by 7."

It didn't took long for me to dress up, it just took half an hour or so, most of my time are wasted staring at the blank wall of Chris' bedroom.

My mind is overflowing with thoughts of what could happen tonight, especially now that Sandy knows that I'm Clarissa. At this moment, I regretted coming here.

A knock on the door snapped me out of my daze.

"Are you ready?" Chris asked behind the door.

"What?" I said in surprise, instinctively checking the wall clock. What? I didn't even notice it was already seven.

"I'll be out in a minute." I called back at him

My hands shake as I grab my purse and my phone.

I took one last look on myself before I went out.

Every minute in the car feels like torture, my heart is beating hard, I'm afraid it might burst out of my chest.

This road is very familiar, I walk here every day to go to school; I dreaded every move the car made. I balled my hand in a fist until it turned white as I know that we're getting closer and closer.

The red brick walls that was now in sight is already enough to give me nightmares.

"Hey, are you okay?" Chris asked after he parked the car

I looked at his concerned face, "I'm just nervous."

"You're turning pale, Clary. You look like you're going to pass out." Chris said "Do you want to head back home?"

I tried to stifle a laugh, "No silly, I'm fine."

He reluctantly went out of the car, walking over my side to open my door.

"Let's go," he said and I just nodded

He took my hand leading me to the front door and into the famous hallway. I shivered at the sight I am seeing in front of me. Memories came flooding my mind, my knees growing weaker every second.

I remembered being pressed up against those lockers as they spat their hurtful word on me. I remember being sprawled against the cold tiled floor as Sandy and her friends physically picked on me.

We we're going to the gym, where the event is being held. We passed by the janitor's closet where Chris do his quickies, according to them. I got a glance of his face and he's sporting a sly grin directed to 'his' closet. That's also where my infamous first kiss happened.

I inwardly panicked when we took a turn to the hallway that leads to the gym; I tightened my grip on my purse to stop it from shaking.

The gym is where everything started, the freshman orientation, that's when the senior jocks decided to make me, the prodigy's-Christopher Jameson-target for the rest of my high school life.

"I'm going to introduce you to my friends." He beamed

That's when I lose control of myself; I involuntarily stopped and stayed frozen at my spot.

Chris stopped too and faced me, "Hey, it's okay," he reassured "They'll love you."

I nodded at him; he tugged on my hand gently, encouraging me to go after him.

"It'll be fine," he whispered once again, planting a reassuring kiss on my forehead before we proceed inside.

I scan the people around me; they're full of familiar faces that I probably had classes with before. As soon as they saw Chris, different people started to crowd around us and started greeting Chris, guess he's still popular after all.

After the crowd lessen down, he dragged me near a table. I immediately recognize their faces the ones who once ruled the whole school, the jocks and the cheerleaders.

"Oi, it's Chris" Mark Martinez, one of Chris best friends said, standing up to give him a bro hug before doing their weird handshake.

Chris pulled me closer towards him before greeting his friend, "Hey, Mark!"

Mark's gaze drifted on me, "Oh you must be Clary," he said offering his hand for me to shake, "Chris haven't stop talking about you at all."

Chris slapped the back of Mark's head making him do a mock zipper gesture with his hands.

Chris introduced me to his former teammates, including the cheerleaders; until it's time for the person I dreaded the most.

The infamous, Sandy Adamson, she got a fake smile plastered on her face, yet her eyes showed the glint of mischievousness; the same look she got when we parted at my aunt's house.

"Hey Clary!" she said "I'm Sandy"

"Hi!" I said, offering my hand to her, I was taken aback when she suddenly pulled me by my hand and engulfed me in a hug.

She placed her head next to mine as if giving me a kiss on the cheek. "I'm so glad you came," she whispered "Makes my surprise a whole lot better."

I managed to give her one of my best smile.

"This is gonna be the best night of your life," Sandy grinned and the others muttered an agreement, oblivious at the fact that Sandy is hiding a few tricks under her sleeves.

When I look up at Chris and saw him smiling, I can't help but smile at him too. Chris always assured me that everything is going to be fine; I just wish he's right.

Just my luck, when I took a sit, Sandy happens to be sitting beside me.

"Whatever your surprise is, I don't want it." I discreetly told her.

She just smirked back at me, "It's just a welcome home gift," she said "Oh wait, it could be a farewell gift too."

"Sandy, please." I literally begged

She looked at me innocently, "You just made it better by falling for Chris."

"What? I'm not falling for him," I protested but I'm really not sure with myself.

"Right, coz you already fell for him, too bad," she said, chuckling "Darling, you can't fool me."

I was about to defend myself when Chris slung his arm on my shoulder, "Oh look at the two of you, getting along." He cooed

Sandy gave him a fake smile, wrapping her hands on the girth of my arm, "Clary is so nice," she said to Chris. "Nice catch."

Chris smiled brightly, "I know," he said, kissing my temples.

We were interrupted by Mark, "Guys, let's go." He said pointing at the crowd near the stage, "They're giving out their speeches."

Chris placed his hands on the small of my back, before leading me to the crowd.

I watched some of our old teachers saying that they're proud of their students, the student council president sharing his experiences, the club presidents said something about their club's unforgettable memories, the coaches that are now old and some are already being wheeled in a chair, shared about the success of their teams.

"Now, let's call on the cheer captain, Sandy Adamson." The MC said, making the crowd clap as Sandy made her way on the stage.

Sandy started talking about how it felt like to be the captain of the cheer squad, their ups and downs and such; she also talked about the joy of her whole high school experience.

I become nervous as her speech come to an end, "It's such a shame that some of us couldn't make it," she said "But I got a surprise for everyone."

She looked at me and smirk, "Do you all remember Clarissa Humphrey?"

One of the former jock chuckled, "You mean the nerd?"

Sandy just smiled coyly, "Well, I bumped into her the other day," she said, I become putty with every word she says, "So I asked her to come."

Chris visibly tensed as he removed his hands on me.

"She actually came," Sandy cheered, making Chris look around the gym, scanning every corner of the room. If only he knew...

"Where is she then?" one asked, as the others started to scan the room for the nerdy ole me.

I pleadingly looked at Sandy but she just shrugged me off, "Over there" she said

Just on cue, the light went out and had been replaced by a bright spot light that is focused on me.

It might be dark but I could feel their gazes burning through my skin, they all looked surprised, I wouldn't blame them, I did change a lot.

Sandy's laugh echoed in the room, "I can't believe you didn't recognize her," she said "She look exactly the same."

I made a brave move of looking into Chris, to see his reaction, but his face held an unreadable reaction, his eyes still studying my face.

I take one last look of the room, I did the only thing that came into my mind, I run. I took advantage of their surprised state to make an escape for it.

I was determined to get outside the building; not even thinking about where I will go after this, I'm pretty sure I can't go back at Chris'.

"Clary!" I heard someone called me, making me stop at the middle of the parking lot.

I looked back to see Chris, to be honest, I really didn't expect him to go after me at all.

"Did you knew all along?" he asked

I looked down, before nodding "Yes, I knew from the moment Dilton introduced you to me."

"Then why did you still agree?" he said, his voice rising in frustration.

I snapped my eyes at him, "I did it for my job, to keep my fame afloat, and I needed you to get me famous." I told him "That's why I agreed."

"You used me," he mumbled

"You signed up for this," I reminded him "You still want to know the reason why I always snap at you, for heaven's sake you made my life a living hell, I apologize that I find it hard to treat you as my friend. Just when you hope you didn't do much damage, you did even worse than damage."

"Speaking of using each other, didn't you use me first? Wasn't I your college ticket?" I inquired. "I don't recall signing up at anything that includes you making me suffer."

He just stayed speechless, frozen at his place. I know what I said sounds harsh but as usual the truth always hurts.

"But you know what the worst is?" I said, tears already falling from my eyes, "It's that after all those things you've done, and I can't believe I'm too stupid to actually like you."

There, I admit that I like him more than a friend; I just came into a realization after being in denial.

"You make me happy, you make my heart flutter. I hate that I can't stop myself from feeling those-those weird stuffs." I said "No matter how much I fight it, I just can't."

"I always thought that I could feel the same thing to other guys, not just to you." I added "Still when I fell I fell hard for you and now I know there's no chance that you like me back, it's okay, I know what we are and what we're not."

"How stupid was I to think that you could possibly care about me?" I chuckled humourlessly at my stupidity.

"Why aren't you saying anything, I don't care if you'll be cocky and arrogant" I sobbed "Just say something, Chris!"

He just stared at me, opening his mouth in attempt to talk but no words came out.

"Clary, I-I," he stuttered

Just as he was supposed to talk, he got interrupted.

"Chris!" someone called, and there was Sandy Adamson standing at the school's wooden door, "You need to do your speech as a quarterback."

He looked back at me but the Chris I knew was gone, it was replaced by the old Chris Jameson from years ago, he looked at me with much distaste like he used to look at me back at high school.

A pang of déjà vu hit me as he walked away, leaving me drowning in my own tears.