Sayori: EVERYONE TODAY IS ATHOUR-CHAN BIRTHDAY 

me: yuri kill me 

Sayori: I CANT BELIEVE SHES NOW 13

me: *gives yuri knife* do it

Sayori: SHE IS ALSO SINGLE SO IF ANY OF YOU SINGLE LADY'S OUT THERE WANT HER HAVE HER

me: yuri im begging please do it

Sayori: WHO EVER DATES HER PLEASE MAKE SURE SHE IS HAPPY AND DOES NOT DO ANYTHING STUPID 

me: *starts stabbing myself with rubber knife that does not work* 

All the girls:  HAPPY BIRTHDAY AUTHOR-CHAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: can i die now T_T

*everyone hugs author chan*

Me: *sudden wanna cry because its my birthday and I hate my birthday*