Broken Hearts

Grief, mourned loved one, survivors guilt

family

/ˈfamɪli,ˈfam(ə)li/

noun

1.

a group of one or more parents and their children living together as a unit

late Middle English (in family (sense 2 of the noun); also denoting the servants of a household or the retinue of a nobleman): from Latin familia 'household servants, family', from famulus 'servant'.

A group of people, usually of the same blood (but do not have to be), who genuinely love, trust, care about, and look out for each other. Not to be mistaken with relatives sharing the same household who hate each other. REAL family is a bondage that cannot be broken by any means.

trust

/trʌst/

noun

1.

firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.

Jason trusted Dick, because he was family.

Moreover, Jason trusted Dick because everyone did. Nightwing was the able leader of the team, balancing the line of trustworthy, infallible leader and friendly, joking friend, comrade, soldier in arms. Everyone trusted Nightwing and, unfortunately, for the most part Nightwing trusted everyone.

So Jason went on the mission. Nightwing was going to be busy during it, with several other squads, elsewhere. Jason was with two others on a quick recon mission. Nothing crazy, a get-your-feet-wet kind of mission, he was leading it.

But when they got to the place to investigate they found captives, and Jason made the decision to break radio silence and get them out.

And he got caught in the explosion that occurred.

"Robin!"

Dick ducked under the fallen beam of the rafters, burnt black and crumbling. he almost slipped on a pile of blackened boards but he kept on, running through the husk of a building, grabbing onto walls and poles to keep balance and push further in.

"Robin!"

There was fire, burning. Hot and searing. Red and yellow and gold was burning itself into his retinas, writhing in his periphery but he kept running.

"Nightwing, the fire's getting out of control, you need to get out."

It was Artemis, over the comms. Dick didn't listen, refused to listen. He wouldn't leave this damn warehouse till he found Jason.

"Robin!" his throat was caked with smoke and ash, the embers beginning to settle in his hair, slowly grabbing on, tugging at him, pulling him to the flames. He couched, heaved air into his lungs and squinted against the smoke. "Robin!"

He vaulted over a column that had fallen, landing on wood planks that were cracking apart. His weight snapped them and his ankles became caught, splinters raining. Dick grunted, pulling his feet free, the fire licking at his sides. he grabbed hold of the column behind him to lift himself out, yelping as he realised the top of the wood was burning, covered in embers. He hissed, pulling with all his might and getting his feet free. He sped off once more, ducking under things and turning down corridors of fiery maze.

"Robin!"

The roar of fire was all he could hear, the crackle of embers, the crash of wood falling.

"Robin!"

"Nightwing, you need to get out!"

He grabbed his comm and ripped it out of his ear, forging further into the flames. He wasn't leaving this warehouse without Jason.

"static," Artemis hissed, glaring at the warehouse, "he's not listening, he needs to get out."

"I've got it, I'll get him," Wally said, "the rest of you, go, it's not safe."

"you're sure?" Artemis checked, the rest of the team heading back to the bioship.

"yeah, I can still carry his weight if I try hard enough," Wally said.

"I'm coming with," Conner offered. If Jason was still in there...

Wally nodded and the two ran in together.

"Robin!"

Nightwing caught a pale face peeking out from under a collapsed pile of boards. He sped over, recognising the black hair, the mask, the cape squashed under the charcoal. He grabbed at the boards, pushing off what he could, pulling off the rest.

"Robin," he said, trying to shake him awake, "Jay, come on, stay with me."

He managed to pull the body out from the wreckage, Jason's head lolling with the movement.

"Dick?" he muttered, voice almost as damaged as the building they were in.

"deep breaths, stay awake," Nightwing ordered. Heading for the door, or what may have once been a door before the flames removed any markings or unique design. Now it was a hunk of darkened shadows silhouetted by horrific fire.

Jason groaned but tried his best to limp on, Nightwing supporting him as best he could. They stumbled through the flames, licking and clawing closer by each second. The floor creaking as it did its best not to give way, the walls swaying, spindly, like lines of a Tim Burton movie, thin enough to snap, more fragile than the sharpened point of a pencil.

Nightwing's shoulders shook as he coughed, the air was becoming thick, like swallowing gelatine. His chest ached, sweat pouring, ash covering every crevice. His eyes were stinging, every direction he looked the light of the flames seemed to get brighter. Where was he going? Where was the exit?

He heard a crack, the sound of the flames succeeding once more as it broke apart the ceiling. Nightwing looked up to find the sky beginning to appear between the boards. He moved too slow, the roof came barrelling down into the building, collapsing. Robin and Nightwing caught under it. heat and embers and fire and smoke on every side.

"Jay..." Dick ground out past his teeth, wincing as he tried to push himself up, break past the weight on his back. where was Jason? He reached out as best he could, he hit nothing but crumbling wood.

Dick got his hand under him, pushing himself up. The wood shifted, he thought maybe he could get to his knees but he heard the crack of wood breaking once more and a column fell. He only saw the movement in the corner of his eyes, but he sure as hell felt it once it crashed into his shoulder. Fire licked at his back, he could hear it, writhing next to his ear.

Everything hurt, there wasn't a spot of untouched skin, it all burned, he could feel his blood boiling, the air of his lungs expanding as everything was dialled up to hundreds of degrees.

He attempted a deep breath, taking in more smoke and ash than air, but he grit his teeth and did his best to push against the weight on top of him.

And then it disappeared.

"Nightwing!"

It was Wally's voice.

Someone was helping him to his feet, he caught the black shirt and the blurring lines of red- Conner.

Dick winced, "Jay..." he took a deep breath, it rattled in his throat.

And then he passed out.

He woke up in the med-bay, bandages all over, mask still on his eyes.

He sat up, or at least tried to, there was a hand on his chest, gentle, that pushed him down.

"take it slow, chum," Bruce said, the suit didn't match his demeanour, "you've been out for twelve hours."

Likely a mix between the cardiovascular effects and his own issues with getting enough sleep. Dick blinked, checking over his injuries, nothing too crazy. A few burns, some abrasions, no broken bones, he was fine.

So why did Bruce went him to 'take it slow'?

"what happened?" Nightwing asked, taking heed and slowly sitting up, leaning against the headboard.

"there was a fire-"

"I know," Nightwing said, "I was talking about whatever gave you that face."

"what face?"

"the brooding one."

"this is my normal face."

"that is a good point," Nightwing said, trying for a smile. Bruce swallowed, looking at the space between his shoes. He pulled up a chair and sat down.

"where's Jay?" Nightwing asked, suspicion creeping in.

Bruce clenched his jaw, Nightwing turned cold.

"Bruce," he said, and his voice sounded like a warning.

"he..." Bruce wasn't looking at him, couldn't take his eyes from the floor, "he didn't make it," he whispered, "Conner and Wally found you in the fire, Jay was dead by the time they excavated him."

"no." Nightwing refused to believe that, "no, he was alive when I found him, we were almost out-"

"the roof collapsed. You were lucky to be missed by most of the debris," Bruce explained.

He slid form the bed, storming over, "Bruce, he can't-"

Bruce stood, grabbing Dick by the shoulders, "deep breath."

Dick shook his head, hand covering his mouth.

Bruce hugged him first, which would be surprising if it weren't for the fact that he was just in need of it as Dick was.

Dick buried his head in his mentor's shoulder.

"I should've-"

"there was nothing you could do."

"but, I..." he screwed his eyes shut, feeling tears pooling and sobs climbing up his throat, "how could I let him..." his words were caught in the sob that choked its way out.

Bruce rubbed circles between his shoulder blades, "you did your best."

And that wasn't good enough.