With Valentine's Day coming up, Jason decides to be an ass.

Warning: cussing, sibling rivalry

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My Pizza:

Jason carried his hot and fresh pizza to the table. Alfred glared at his choice in lunch, but it was also Alfred's day off, so they were on their own for food.

"Oh, pizza!" Dick cheered, his eyes lighting up.

Tim was beside him, eyes zoning in on the box. Damian scoffed, but followed his (not) better behaved brothers towards Jason. Jason allowed this, setting the box on the table and opening it to reveal its contents. Dick's hand came closer, eager for a bite; Jason smacked him.

"Ow! Hey! Come on, Jay, it's Valentine's!"

And rather than normally shooting him down (with boring, normal words) a thought came to him.

"Roses are red. Pizza sauce is too. I ordered a large pizza, and none of it's for you. Happy Valentine's Day, Dickie."

Dick pouted, Jason smirked and tauntingly ate his first slice of pizza, while the others chuckled (scoffed in amusement, in Damian's case) quietly, trying not to.

Once more, Dick tried to snatch a piece from Jason, failing horribly.

"Jason!" he yelped. He turned to Bruce, who had just entered the room. "Bruce, Jay won't share!"

"Bruce, Dick won't leave me and my pizza alone!"

Said guardian exhaled heavily, choosing to not intervene with his adopted sons' squabble. No, he learned to let them settle it themselves (unless it involved physically harming or trying to kill each other).

"Bruce!" Dick called.

Bruce continued on, walking to the kitchen to fix supper for him and Alfred (It's his day off; he needs to relax).

Bruce reappeared a few minutes later, two bowls of salad in hand. He rose an eyebrow, watching his oldest two sons fight over the contents in the cardboard box. Jason, in his boots, kicked at Dick's torso.

They paused their antics, waiting for Bruce to say something.

When he said nothing, Jason offered, "Roses are red. Cactus are prickly. Might I just say, this escalated quickly."

Bruce handed Alfred his bowl with a sigh. He was ready for the day to be over with (which they still had patrol tonight), and this wasn't helping. "I'll be in my office."

His farewell was a few choice words from Jason to Dick.

"Language!" he shouted back.

"Fuck off, old man!"

Bruce let it slide, not in the mood to deal with anyone's antics.

*******************

Flowers:

Dick walked in the sitting room, glancing around the room. Tim and Bruce were at Sat across from each other, the coffee table separating the couches they claimed. Both had laptops seated in their laps. Bruce sat up, though slouching, eyes glued to the screen. Tim, however, leaned against the arm of the couch, knees brought up, forcing the keyboard at an odd angle but his finger danced across the keyboard just fine. He had just set his coffee mug on a coaster on the table.

Jason and Damian sat closer to the bookshelves, occupying the matching chairs. He sat upright in the seat, one leg curled up, keeping him sinking in the cushions. Damian had a book in his hands; Dick couldn't see the cover, for it was propped by his leg. One hand holding the book steady, the other tucked under his chin. Dropped in a neat pile beside the chair was a pile of what looked to be case files.

Jason was the odd one out. He had a book draped over his face, eyes surely closed under the shade. Wires lead to his phone, which laid on his stomach. He sat much like Tim, sideways on the furniture. His back against one arm, one knee bent over the other arm, the remaining leg just plopped uselessly on the ground. Even from across the room, Dick could tell he was listening to some kind of pop music.

"This is what you are doing for Valentine's Day?" Dick questioned.

Tim didn't look up, reaching out for his coffee again. "Hello to you, too." He gingerly brought the mug to his lips.

Bruce grunted his greeting, not bothering with words.

"Yeah, so?" Damian tutted, eyes glancing up to actually look at Dick.

"No one as a girlfriend- or boyfriend- or something? No one to spend today with?"

"Tt, I have no time for such nonsense."

"It's not nonsense, little D. You'll understand when you're older."

Bruce finally spoke up, "That won't be for a while, Dick. And leave Damian alone, he's studying."

Dick rolled his eyes but left it. "Tim?"

"Nope."

"Jay?" he tried, though he was certain his music was too loud to hear their conversation.

But, to his surprise, without otherwise showing any indication he'd been paying attention, Jason lifted the book slightly to move his mouth. "Roses are red. Violets are blue. But I wouldn't know that, because you never send me flowers, you bastard."

"Tt," Damian stifled a snort.

***********

Plan D:

"What's the plan?" Nightwing asked.

"Attack," Robin answered, jumping through the skylight and taking on the enemy.

"There goes the element of surprise," Red Robin sighed, following Nightwing.

"There was surprise when the brat revealed our position," Red Hood objected, yanking Red Robin back as bullets flew passed them.

"Maybe we should go through the other window."

"Or how about the door?" Red Hood asked, twirling his gun.

"Killjoy."

Okay. Tim was in an unusually good mood. Jason didn't know what happened, but the kid wasn't half bad. Overall, he didn't mind being brothers with him.

It was the brat that irked him.

Once inside, Red Robin made a beeline for the computer. He made swift work of anyone foolish enough to get in his way.

Red Hood was seriously regretting letting Nightwing convince him to use rubber bullets. Sure, they packed a punch, but they also let the guys get back up. He resorted to hand to hand combat a few times, even pulling out his knife and stabbing a guy the third time he stood up. But on Hood's behalf, the guy should learn when to stay down.
Not killing proved to be costly. Within minutes, back up had arrived and they were quickly defeated. Which, in itself, wasn't too bad (or uncommon). The part that really ticked him off was how they were held prisoner.

"Why couldn't Nightwing get stuck with you?" Red Hood complained. Back to back and hanging upside down, Robin pulled at the binds, making them press against him as the swayed, unsteady.

"Tt, it's not my fault you got captured."

"First of all, yes it is. If you didn't blow our cover, then our  stupid mission would have been a success. B, you-"

"Two," he corrected.

Red Hood chose to ignore that. "-you got captured, too, brat."

"At least I did something. If we had waited for a plan, they would be long gone."

"Damian," he warned, ignoring Dick's comment about code names. "Roses are red. Bruises are blue. If you say one more word, I'll strangle you."

"Happy Valentine's Day to me!" a familiar voice chuckled, beaming at his prize. "I got four little robins. Oh, what would Batsy say?"

"You know, two of us aren't robins anymore."

"Eh," he was easily shrugged off. Joker turned back to his guys, going over what they got with bright eyes.

Red Hood felt the blood rush to his face. With the mask on, he was starting to sweat and his leather jacket wasn't helping cool him down. Maybe he'd have to rethink this style. But it made him look cool.

. . .

Nah, he could tough it out.

But he didn't have to play nice.

"Robin?"

"Tt, what now?"

"Roses are red. Windows are glass. You should try plan 'D.' For you're a dumbass."

Joker's laugh echoed in the spacious room. "Good one, Hood! Oh, that's funny."

"Now's not the time for that," Nightwing muttered.

"You try being tied to the brat! You got lucky with the replacement!"

"Hey!"

Okay. Low blow, but Robin wouldn't stop squirming- which lead to him getting elbowed a lot- and he was getting dizzy with all the swinging and Robin was already on a thin line after this morning and he didn't want to be here and he was so done with this.

Robin let out a short gasp when Red Hood suddenly cut the rope. Unfortunately, Robin twisted in the air, landing on his feet. Hood had expected the fall, his hand wrapped around part of the rope.

"Great warning."

"Great plan. Oh wait." Robin went to work on Joker's goons as Hood swung over to Nightwing and Red Robin. He made swift work of the rope, and they all joined Robin.

*****************

Not An Accident:

Finally. Patrol had ended, and the family had a chance to get a few hours of shut eye before dawn.

"Happy Valentine's!" Dick cheered, arms raised, voice echoing in the cave.

Tim was quick to correct him, "Valentine's ended hours ago."

"It's never too late to celebrate love!" Dick sang.

"Really?" Jason cut in. "Then Damian, blood is red. The ocean is blue. If you fell into Tartarus, it's because I pushed you."

"What?"

On cue, Jason pushed Damian off the platform holding the Batmobile, sending the smaller boy tumbling down the stairs.

"Ah! Todd!" Damian didn't stay down. Upon landing, he pushed himself up, immediately launching himself at his adopted brother. "Todd!"

Jason reached out, gripping his wrist. He stepped aside and turned, pulling Damian up the stairs and around. He released his hold when the momentum was unstoppable, sending Damian back down.

"Boys! Cut it out!" Bruce growled.

"But, Father, Todd started it!"

"I don't care who started it; I'm ending it. Get cleaned up, now."

Damian huffed and marched off, gripping under his breath as Jason laughed.

"Jason, do something like that again, and I won't intervene."

The young adult rolled his eyes. "Like that tater- tot can do anything to me."

Damian shouted from entrance the shower rooms, claiming his superior skills would kick Todd's ass.

"Language!" Bruce shouted, frightening the bats a bit.

"Please, I'll beat your skinny hide so far into the ground, Jon will be crying, 'Roses are red. Sherlock's blood is, too. There's pain in John's voice. "He's my friend let me though."' as he runs into your hospital room!"

"What?" Bruce did a double- take, confused.

Dick waved him off. "He's been doing that all day, remember? Just ignore him, B."

********

Goodnight:

Jason and Bruce walked into the main area of the cave with a heavy silence. If it wasn't for Dick, Jason would have left to sleep at a safe house, but here he was.

And he was going to kill Dick.

Him and Bruce still weren't on the best of terms. When the others were around to supply/ add to the conversation, it made it easier. But just the two of them was awkward as fuck.

Damian, Tim, and Dick had gotten the first showers. Bruce really needed to add more stalls, but usually it was unnecessary, as most of the time it was just him and Damian.

Anyways, the three had finished their showers quickly, and Jason slipped in while Bruce was still finishing his report. But then Jason got distracted by the soothing hot water. He lost track of time, and ended up walking out in his pajamas at the same time as Bruce. Dick and Damian were no where to be seen, probably already asleep.

Tim, however, was wide awake, typing up his report on the Bat- computer.

"Shouldn't he be asleep by now?" Jason loudly whispered.

Loud and bold, Tim retorted, "Roses are red. Your statement is correct. But as a Sherlock- ian, what'd you expect?"

"I'm done," Bruce declared with a sigh, heading upstairs. "G' night."

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Happy Valentine's Day! Sorry I posted it so late. Didn't mean to.