Guess what? I'm back!

Hey, guys, it's me, Kabir Sharma, back again to share another interesting chapter from my life with you.

So, here's the thing, remember I told you to wait and get a reply from life when no one else was retorting? Well, I did follow my own advice and waited to get a reply from life. It was kind of disappointing, at first, but then, my life hasn't ever been a fairy tale.

Now, let me sum up my past before I begin to tell you the new things. I had joined Science stream in eleventh, even though I wanted to be a writer and was failing miserably in it, but to end my pain I joined an IIT coaching- "Bansal Tutorials" after a month. Well, it was supposed to help me pass my exams but I realized in only a month that Bansal Tutorials was just interested in screwing me- nothing else. Actually, my experience at Bansals wasn't completely a waste, for I fell in love and understood that even I could be loved by someone. But, as I said earlier, my life was never a fairy tale so before even I could confess my love to Radhika, she left Delhi- I know what a life. Now, it's almost a year and I have moved on her, but this story is not about Radhika, it's just about your idiot Kabir- of course, I am smart, as well.

'Who broke up?' Atharva asked, barely keeping himself from laughing.

'She did.' I muttered to which he burst out laughing and I just stopped myself from strangling him.

'But why?' Mannat said confounded. 'You were a good boyfriend.'

'She said that we shouldn't get involved into a serious relationship at this age.' I told them and they partly nodded.

'Well, what she said wasn't completely wrong.' Mannat said after thinking a lot. She was choosing her words carefully. 'I mean, in twelfth standard you should just be focused on boards.'

'I know,' I said, keeping my voice low, 'but she shouldn't have said "Yes!" in the first place when I proposed her.'

'Obviously, dude,' Atharva said, on a serious note, 'she screwed you, badly.'

'Oh, you don't say.' I said sarcastically and they all smiled sympathetically at me. 'Well, it's a good thing that we broke off at the correct moment, before it wasn't too late. I'm just glad that I didn't fall for her.'

'See,' Shweta said enthusiastically, 'it's not that bad, then.'

'Yeah!' I said and got up. 'I guess, I'll leave, for now.'

'Hey, c'mon, dude,' Manish complained. 'We just got out of school. Wait with us for a few minutes.'

'Can't,' I said, 'It's already 2:20 and I have to be at home by 3. Sorry guys, see you on Monday.'

'Bye,' some of them said and the others waved at me.

'Bye.' I said and walked away from my school.

I lied about reaching home early. Nobody was at my place, so I could have stayed for some more time, but I don't know why, I just didn't want to stay. I wanted to avoid people for no reason. I just wanted to be with myself, and of course, my laptop.

I reached home at 2:45 and heated Aaloo paranthas, my mom had left for me in the microwave. After having lunch, I sat in front of T.V. and kept switching channels for almost 30 minutes. I knew that I was going to be bored but I couldn't complain, so, I picked up my phone and opened the photo album. I saw the old pictures of me and my girlfriend...err, ex-girlfriend- Shaila. Actually, you would cuss me if I told you the whole story behind this relationship, so, I'll keep it short.

After Radhika left, there wasn't anyone who could help me move on her. Geet- my first crush and best friend- helped me as much as she could, but even she couldn't do much. Atharva was a joker, so, he did keep my mood light and kept me from crying- a lot, but I wanted something else. I wanted to fall in love once again. With all my past experience, I was still willing to take the risk and fall for someone, once again. The first girl I fell in love with- Geetanjali or simply, Geet- rejected me for a scumbag, but it wasn't completely her fault, I was the one who screwed up the cool bonding of us. The second girl I fell for had to leave this city itself, but she did love me. So, basically, whenever I fell in love, something bad happened and I was left broken. But then again, I was determined to fall in love for the third time.

It wouldn't hurt this time, I told myself before I went to propose Shaila. Turned out to be completely different after the breakup.

So, actually, I just proposed Shaila to help me move on Radhika, but I ended up falling for her, as well and then breaking my little, helpless heart again for the third time.

'Oh, I'm such a loser,' I said to myself and threw my phone on the couch, because I wasn't going to get a brand new phone if I broke it off.

After a few moments I went inside my room and was about to open my laptop till my phone rang.

I was so happy to see the caller ID. It was Geet.

'Hey, beautiful.' I said as soon as I picked up the phone.

'Hi, sexy.' She chuckled from the other end. 'When did you come back home?'

'Almost an hour ago.'

'And you've had something to eat?'

'Of course, ma'am. I'm not on a diet.'

'What happened to your jokes, Kabira?' She complained, 'You sound like a bored grandmother, nowadays.'

'Hey, c'mon,' I cringed, 'I guess, I've just had my breakup two weeks ago. How am I supposed to joke around normally? I'm trying to stay as normal as possible.'

'Hey,' she said, 'I know that it's hard. Breakups aren't the most exciting part of our lives. I've been where you are, Kabir, and I can't see my best friend go through the same thing I once went through.'

'I know, Geet,' I said softly. 'If not you, I would have probably been sitting in a corner and crying. Believe me I won't take long to be normal again.'

'I know, stud, but isolating yourself from the world is not going to help in that. It'll make it worse.'

'I kn...I just want some time off. I can't...Oh, you know what I mean.'

'No, I don't.' She said, 'Go out with your friends today and meet me at Dunkin's on Sunday, will you?'

'I can't promise, Geet.' I said miserably.

'I'm sorry, but no choice.' She said prevailingly. 'Meet me at Dunkin's on Sunday, 5:30, obviously in the evening.'

I laughed at her last line. 'Yes, ma'am.'

'See you, then.' She said. 'Till then, take care.'

'Sure.'

'Miss me. Bye.'

'You, too. Bubye.'

I disconnected the call and stared at the screen for a considerably large amount of time.

'Thanks, Geet.' I muttered and packed up my bag for Mathematics tuition.

***

'Hello, genius.' Welcomed my Maths teacher, Mr. Balwinder Singh Sodhi, or just Sodhi sir. 'Do better next time.'

He handed me my monthly test paper.

'83 on 100,' I mumbled, 'Cool.'

'Cool?' Sodhi sir looked at me in shock. 'Anything below 95 is waste. Your marks aren't cool.'

'But you just called me genius.' I said and the class started laughing.

'So, what? Only you can be sarcastic?' The class again started laughing and Sodhi sir joined them.

'Very funny.' I said and sat next to Manish and Mannat. Yes, we went to the same tuition.

'Coming to Malviya Nagar?' Mannat whispered in my ear and Manish looked at me hopefully.

'I'll tell you after the class.' I said and they smiled at each other.

'Today, we'll start off with probability.' Sodhi sir announced and half of the class whined.

I didn't really want to go with them. I actually wanted to sit in a corner and cry. I wanted to go to Shaila and talk her about giving us another chance. I wanted to listen to the saddest songs of the century, you know, the ones that auto rickshaw drivers listen to at maximum volume. I just wanted some alone time.

'Coming?' Manish asked in excitement as soon as the tuition got over.

'Yeah.' I said after thinking for some time.

'Awesome.' Mannat said and jumped on her feet. They were just happy to see their friend move on in his life than staying alone.

'First let's go to Atharva's place and pick him up.' Manish said and we walked towards their scooties. I sat with Manish on his scooty and Mannat followed us on her scooty.

In a few moments, four of us were strolling in the lanes of Malviya Nagar at speeds enough to give our mothers a heart attack.

People looked at us and saw four untroubled and careless youngsters, who hadn't seen any difficulty in their lives, but was it true? Not completely. Every one of them had a story to tell. Every one of them had a lesson to share. Every one of them had their downfalls, but still decided to stand up and smile on the face of the world. We may be young and hasty, but we knew what the world was like. We had a rough idea how our life was going to challenge us when we grew up. But till that time, we were just enjoying our time as kids.

'I was so happy when I was actually a kid.' Atharva said sadly and took a puff from his cigarette. 'I miss those days, man.'

'We're almost eighteen, dude.' I said and took the cigarette from him. 'Our smoking cigarettes won't shock our parents but watching cartoon will.'

'Idiots,' Mannat complained, 'Why do you guys smoke?'

'I don't know.' I confessed and took a puff.

'Me neither.' Atharva said and took the cigarette from me.

'It's kind of relieving.' I said and all of them looked at me. 'Love and breakups are too much for a seventeen year old heart. I guess cigarettes work as...power capsules.'

'Yeah, like Viagra for heart.' Atharva suggested and we all broke into laughter.

'Both of you are idiots.' Manish said and kick-started his scooty. 'Glad we never fell in love, Mannat.'

With this, they high fived and I almost felt jealous of them for not going through what we did.

'Please don't make it a habit, Kabira.' Mannat told me personally and I nodded, 'I know that you started smoking after that girl in your tuition went away, but now it's over a year. Please don't smoke.'

'I'll try my best.' I promised and she smiled.

After some fried momos from the main market, we decided to go home. Manish dropped me at my place and then went back to his house.

I have to confess, that evening was the best time I ever spent after my breakup. I hadn't felt so happy before. It was like I had finally started living again.

***

Sunday, 5:45 PM

Dunkin Donuts

'Somebody's running late nowadays.' I complained as Geet rushed towards my table.

'I'm sooooooooo sorry.' That was it, I started laughing like crazy. 'Please don't be mad at me.'

'You know that I can't stay mad at you.' She grinned at my statement.

'I'm your bestie, you are not allowed to be mad at me.'

I playfully pulled her cheeks and she made faces at me.

'Have you ordered something?' She asked, 'I'm famished.

We ordered two donuts and iced tea and started talking.

'How's life, lately?' I asked her at which she stared at me wide eyed.

'Since when did we start talking like strangers?' She said and I narrowed my eyes. 'Okay, okay! Thanks to you, my life is fabulous again.'

'Me?' I said laughing and took a bite from my donut.

'Yes, you. You seriously don't know how you helped me move on?'

'Nopes.' I mumbled.

'A relationship at sixteen isn't the best thing in this world if the person you love doesn't love you back. Well, that was my case.'

'I know that.' I said, 'Why do you keep on telling me that every time?'

'Because you never listen.'

'I don't want to know about the sad part of your life. God, I can't imagine you in pain. Today, you're smiling and that's all that matters to me.'

'Kabir, there's a reason why we have a past. We need to learn from it and make sure that we don't make those mistakes again. I don't want you to go through all that pain. I want you to be happy.'

'I have you and my other friends. I am happy.' I said but she just looked at me with a pleading eyes. 'Okay, it won't take me long to be happy again.'

'Kabir,' she began and I decided to let her speak this time, 'I was fourteen when I met Kunaal. I was in ninth and he was in tenth. I had never seen someone so handsome before. I don't know when it happened but I fell in love with him.'

'You met him in ninth standard and you didn't share about your crush with me?' I looked at her baffled and she shrugged.

'I'm sorry, Kabir. I guess I had realized that you had started feeling in a different way about me and so, I didn't want to hurt you.'

Well, she did hurt me by rejecting me.

'After Kunaal had proposed me, I was feeling on top of the world. I wanted to share the news with you that very second but guess what? You had stopped talking to me.'

'I'm sorry.'

'First two months were good.' She said and took a sip of the iced tea, 'But just like every good thing comes to an end, the nicer part of Kunaal, too, came to an end. He used to ignore me like anything. A furniture is treated better than he used to treat me. He never called me or anything. He pretended like I didn't exist. We were never supposed to be together.'

She wiped her tear and I grabbed her hand. 'That's why I never let you tell this to me.'

She smiled and held my hand tighter. 'You don't know how relaxed I am to share this with someone.'

I just smiled at her.

'Kabir,' she said and took both my hands, 'I know that you've started smoking.'

I looked down in humiliation. I just couldn't meet her eyes.

'I'm s-sorry, Geet.' I, still, wasn't looking at her.

'Kabir, please,' she said and I looked up, at her. I could see her eyes watering up, 'For me?'

'I won't ever touch cigarettes again.' I promised and she finally smiled at me.

'I love you.'

'So you have paid attention to my proposal, then?' I joked to which she slapped my hand. 'Ouch.'

'Kabir, the first time I went into a relationship, I lost you- my best friend and if now, I become your girlfriend, then also I'll lose my best friend.'

I stayed silent for two seconds and then smiled back at her.

'Don't worry,' I said, 'I too need a best friend more than a girlfriend, now.'

Geet smiled at me and grabbed my hands tighter.

'You know, Kabir,' She said, 'I've learnt one thing while moving on.'

I waited.

'Moving on doesn't mean to put on a brave face and pretending that you don't care in front of everyone and then crying in darkness. It actually means to shove off that darkness and having a real smile on face in broad daylight. That way, you actually move on.'

'Geet?' I said and then she smiled at me, like she knew what I was going to say. 'Will you help me move on?'

So again, another chapter in my life has come to an end and finally I have made some progress since the time I began. Don't believe me? I'll tell you. Remember the sixteen year old Kabir Sharma who was so much involved into following a shadow that he almost gave up on his passion? I'm not the same Kabir today. Now, I have written some pretty decent stuff and I'm happy that I finally am putting efforts in making my dream come true. Today, I don't wish that I get published- I believe that I'll get published.

And now, I really don't want a girlfriend for a very long time. I have realized that having best friends is more important than having a girlfriend. And in high school, I guess it's better to stay single. Believe me I have had some pretty scary incidents with love. We waste our life crying for someone who will never value our tears and the one worth crying would never let even a tear escape from our eyes. Maybe it's good to have a girlfriend or a boyfriend, or both- it's completely your choice- but I don't think it's good to kill the innocent child inside of you. I started smoking because of love and the innocence inside me died. Was it worth that? I don't think so. If you ask me, I'll tell you to make some real good friends and keep that child, inside you, alive. And don't worry if you've already killed that kid, for friendship is magical, it will revive the child.

And yes, one more thing- Just because almost everyone around you had some bad experiences with love doesn't mean that you too would end up like them. No, it's not like that. Don't be afraid of falling in love and when you meet the one, just don't let that person go away. How will you know if that person is the one? Believe me, you'll know.

So, this is Kabir Sharma, ready to put a real smile on his face and walk into broad daylight with his friends and no regrets.