I don't know how many times I've been hurt. How many times I've cried for people who've never cared for me. How many times  I carried other's weight. How many times I told them everything. How many times I let them into my life. How many times i thought they cared. how many times they left. And said they didn't care.

Friends and lovers. Even family. They all said they loved or cared for me only once. And then they left me, like a speck in the dirt.

I don't wish to be hurt. I don't want to be hurt. But I let them in, even if I know they'll leave. Before, I always tried to keep people from coming towards me. But it never worked. Now its as if I just don't care. I won't care if they drag me down because I know that I won't even be the one to fall but to be dragged. And with that I am okay with.

But I am not a forgive and forget person. I don't forgive people and continue on with my life. I remember everyone whose has hurt me, and I know that one day you'll be on that same list as well. You'll care for me and until I feel comfortable you'll leave like nothing has happened. Like I was nothing. Like I was just a stepping stool to your next goal. Achievement. Award. Happiness. Greatness. And pride. And to leave and laugh at me. That I haven't moved anywhere. I stayed where I was. Well, because I was happy. I am happy. I'm happy where I am. And I'll stay where I am. Cause I know I'll be happy one day. Alone. And smile to myself how I got here to be so happy alone. But I won't laugh at you. I'll laugh at myself. For always helping everyone and letting them leave without asking why. Without even knowing why. I'll laugh and know that it was all worth it. Cause one day I'll find that I can be my own stepping stool, but I won't leave myself behind. Why do people think that is right or okay?

I don't get it, but everyone goes through it, don't they? I'll be okay, I'm sure I will.

Ally looked looked over her shoulder, making sure no one was around her. When she was sure, she pulled out her homework and her headphones. She brought out her phone and listened to music as she did her homework. Hillsmore was kinda loud, but for some reason, she liked it. She didn't feel alone or anything. Her red hair draped over her shoulder. Her blue and yellow eyes stared down at her paper. Math was kinda hard for her. But History and Ela was her favorite. 

Ally wished she had someone that was like her. Someone who wouldn't leave or think she was weird. Who knew to give her time or space. To know she was broken, excited, or happy. Aly sighed as she thought about Kaitlyn, her twin. She hadn't really liked Kaitlyn, and Kaitlyn hadn't really liked her. They were the exact opposite, even though they were twins. They had the opposite personality and looks, and they dressed different. They're grades and looks looked very different. They took different routes at school, and came home at different times. Sometimes Kaitlyn wouldn't come home until the next day. Everyone would be worried, but Kaitlyn wouldn't scream and tell them to go away. Ally knew she could tug it out of her to tell her, like she did when they were little, but now it was as if Kaitlyn saw her as someone who was just staying at their house and sharing rooms with her until she was 18. It was as if Kaitlyn didn't see her as her twin or sister or even a family member anymore. She saw her as a stranger. With her cold, sharp blue eyes. Kaitlyn only had Blue eyes, but Ally was a bit different. Kaitlyn always teased her saying she was all over the place. Kaitlyn looked really pretty though. She has pretty soft brown hair, blue eyes, pale skin, pink lips, and long nail. She wore golden earings, and always found ways to match her clothes. Ally on the other hand, was a mess like always. She had blue and yellow eyes, and red hair. She always wore a hoodie or sweatshirt with sweatpants. Sometimes she wore glasses, and she had messy hair. She rarely brushed it, and she had pale skin.

Gtg it times for third period