Loving him wasn't wrong, I knew that. After all, how many times have you heard of someone's younger sister having a crush on their older brother's friend? I think what made it feel wrong was how awful it felt. It was like I expected him to like me back, but there was no possibility at that.That would be wrong.

I was the innocent little girl. I was the shy, grumpy, and very quirky little girl that they all got to know. That was who I was. None of them looked at me anyother way. I was the little girl they all had to protect. That's how they treated me.

My brother's were very popular in high school. They constantly had people come in and out ofthe house at random times, even at night. As a child, that was very good for me. I felt safe. I was an insomniac who's afraid of being left alone at night. That was my biggest fear. Being alone.

I have three brothers.There are two that are seven years older than I am, the twins, and then there is one that is nine years older than me. When it all started out the twins were fourteen and the eldest was sixteen. Being the only child in the house was like being an only child all together. Although, I spent more time watching my brothers than hanging out with our Eomma.

The twins, Kyung and Hye,were always the ones making friends. It always impressed me how easily it was for them to just sit and talk with random people they didn't know. I'll never understand it. The eldest, Ji-hun hyung, was a lot more like me, shy and quick to follow everyone else. So, the day they brought over their first best friend was the day the rest of the family became filled with contentment as well.

Min Yoongi was his name.I was seven at the time when my brothers burst through the doors one afternoon while I was sat on the living room floor  coloring. I was shy and quiet as a child, so of course I was taken aback. I sat up off the hardwood floors to ask who their new friend was. I remember Eomma stormed down from her room and yelled at my brothers for bringing over someone without informing her first.

Min Yoongi was extremely awkward and nervous. His face flushed red, and he tried to politely introduce himself. He was quiet like me, but he was kind. Eomma allowed him to stay till dinner. I remember how poetic I thought hewas, wise, and despite my unwelcoming impression he colored with me.It was that day Min Yoongi became my big brother too.

After a few weeks all my brother's became extremely close to Yoongi, but since Ji-hun was older he had made his own friend. His name was Seokjin, and I never saw them too much. They spent a lot of time out of the house while I was stuck inside it. Apparently Ji-hun met Seokjin through MinYoongi.

While most of my family didn't care what I did with my time, Yoongi constantly encouraged me to continue to color. I'm not sure why he cared though, but my brothers say he was kind of an artist. A writer, I think. A lot ofthe time Kyung, Hye, and Yoongi would freestyle rap in the house. I remember how much I liked Yoongi's voice much more than my own brother's.

As I've grown older I became sadder and started to lose motivation in my works. Still, MinYoongi would walk through the door with some soda, snack, or ice cream that he would say he bought for his little sister and ask what I've colored. "Hana, your hyung has bought you ice cream!" He would exclaim with an excited smile.

"Have you created anything new?" The teenaged boy's dark eyes grew in hope, but I chewed on my bottom lip and stared at the ground.

"I wrote." I answered simply. I saw his hopeful expression twist into curiosity.

"Wrote?" He asked, an eyebrow raised. I remembered how smooth and low his voice was. Lower than before. Puberty, I thought, he's hitting puberty. He was taller,his voice was lower and more rich, but his face was still chubby and wide. He was the coolest guy in my ten year old mind, an attractive old man.

"A poem," I nod to him. He smiled at my answer. He looked almost proud.

"Your brother's told you I write poetry, right?" Yoongi looked excited and pleased at my new hobby. I think he liked the thought of me relating to him a lot.I think he wanted someone to understand him.

"I guess..." I answer to him, sounding almost uninterested.

"Can I read it?" Inod to him and hand over a folded piece of paper to him nervously. Yoongi took it carefully, and unfolded it with a content smile.

"The boys are downstairs." I tell him pointing to the staircase to the left of us. "You can keep it." Min Yoongi looked up with furrowed eyebrows and concern plastered on his face.

"Are you sure?" He asked, "You should always keep your first piece."

"It's for you. I wrote it for you and I don't want anyone to see it." I kept my gaze at the ground as I heard a loud sigh escape his mouth. With a nod and a wave, he left to head downstairs. I knew what he was thinking. I knew what it sounded like, and my cheeks flared red when I realized that.

Min Yoongi Hyung opened the paper back up again as he descended the stairs. He was anxious to read it because he really didn't want a child writing him a love poem, but now he would've preferred that than what he actually got.

Laugh, smile, cry

everything a person does before they die.

That was all the two stanza poem had written on it. Yoongi's lips twisted into a concerned frown. He didn't know whether he should be worried for the little girl and tell her brothers, or keep it for himself like she had asked. Understanding his own depression, he wondered if she was going through the same thing. But she's only ten, thought the teenaged boy as he folded the paper back up and put it in his pocket when entering his friend's room.

"What's that?" Hye asked, his chubby cheeks stretched into a teasing smile.His face was long and abnormally chubby, along with his posture.Kyung looked the exact same, but he was slimmer.

"Your sister wrote me a poem." Yoongi answered with a chuckle, not being able to help his smile. He did feel honored to be so admired. The boys just laughed at the response.

"Our Eomma swears she has a crush on you." Kyung laughed. Yoongi's cheeks flushed a bright pink and shook his head. With another teasing laugh from his friends, they changed the subject and decided to play some video games and work on writing.

I stayed upstairs in the living room and decided to listen to music. I contemplated whether I should have given Yoongi the poem, and the anxiety almost pained me. My worries gave me chest pains, but music sank into my body and flowed through as if it was more blood being donated to me in a hospital. Would Yoongi share my poem with my brothers?

Dinner time was coming around when the sounds of feet pounding against the stairs came into the room. Kyung, Hye, Ji-hun, and Yoongi filled the room. The twins went into the kitchen to get some water while Ji-hun and Yoongi walked into the living room. Yoongi was in deep conversation with Ji-hun while he put on his shoes and a jacket that hung from our coat rack. The twins walked back into the room and waved in my direction till I took my headphones out.

 "Hey,Hana, say goodbye to your boyfriend." Kyung teased with a small chuckle. Yoongi rolled his eyes and shook his head. I blushed darkly out of embarrassment and looked to the ground. I'm not sure why I didn't speak up for myself and tell them I didn't like him. I'm sure they wouldn't believe me anyways, but I also knew blushing and not saying anything wasn't going to help either. It was too late though because with another laugh, and a "I'm just teasing, it's okay."They were all out the door to take Yoongi home.