Song of the chapter - Can't Blame a Girl for Trying by Sabrina Carpenter

I woke up the next day with a knot in my stomach. After spending most of the afternoon at Robin's house, I came home and found that Seth hadn't said anything to my parents about me being called in to Opportunity. If he had, I certainly would have been confronted by one or both of my parents. But just my luck, he was letting me sit on pins and needles a while longer. There was no doubt in my mind that he was holding that nugget of information until he could use it against me.

Douche.

So the evening was normal, uneventful, except for my nerves. Knowing that TJ was now going to be within arms reach on a daily basis set me off on a worry train. I couldn't help but feel strange after hearing from Robin that she thought he liked me, and hearing from Bella that he had asked for my number. These things never worked out for me. Ever. It was doomed before it could even begin. With my luck, it had to be.

I guess I was scared. I didn't have any dating experience other than in my daydreams. And of course those dates always went perfectly. I realized that real life wasn't like that. My recent heartbreak with Luke, despite my efforts to avoid it, had taught me that loud and clear. Even though I appreciated my friendship with Luke, it still stung to hear about him dating someone who was almost in my same lack-of-popularity category.

I always knew that Luke wasn't the typical jock who only went for the popular cheerleader or mean girl. This just confirmed that my lack of name recognition wasn't the reason he wasn't interested in me. He just simply didn't look at me that way. And he was such a nice guy I couldn't even be mad at him about it. Which only seemed to make it worse.

But I was also getting tired of bellyaching over him so maybe TJ was a good solution. If my daydreams of him were the ultimate perfection, I was curious how reality would go. I wasn't dumb enough to think things would be perfect but maybe they would be better than my current state of being. After thinking about it for the entire night, I decided to let whatever was going to happen, happen. No more avoiding TJ.

The knot was nervousness about what to do next, how to respond if I had the chance to talk to him. A deep breath, which I took more than once, and I was determined to face the day head on.

Mornings were always rushed but thanks to the Mia show from the previous day, I had gathered my books after school the day before so there would be no need to stop at my locker. Yeah, I really had learned my lesson. In fact I doubted I would be back at my locker any time soon.

First period was fine. The norm. Second period went smoothly as well. I wasn't late that day. I wasn't even almost late, which I had been more times than I cared to count. Of course that was resolved as soon as I took my locker out of the equation.

At the end of second period, as I was walking out the door, I bumped into Gina and she dropped her bag. She huffed angrily and reached down to pick it back up. I glanced in her direction to tell her I was sorry, but I noticed a grimace on her face as she reached down. She looked like she was in pain. Why would picking up her bag cause pain? I immediately thought back to all those days she was absent as well as how off she looked the day before. Then I felt guilty for not helping her.

"Hey, are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, fine." was her response. I was surprised to even get one. That was progress.

"Okay. Did you get everything?" I was making sure.

Gina just nodded. Then, suddenly, she lost her balance and fell against a desk. She had gone down to her knees with a grunt.

"Damn it" she mumbled.

"Okay, listen. You hate me, I get it. But I am helping you whether you want me to or not. So where to? the bathroom? the nurse? your next class? Where?" I used my most demanding voice.

"Fine. The bathroom. I don't need a nurse."

"Great. Let's go"

I grabbed her bag and threw it over my shoulder along with my backpack. With my other arm I supported Gina as she got up. Then we hobbled to the bathroom down the hall.

After I got her through the door, I handed her stuff back.

"You good?"

Gina nodded in confirmation.

"Good. If you need anything, text me. Do you still have my number?" I'm sure she won't even bother, but I had to offer.

"Yes. Just go now." Gina said without looking at me.

"Okay. Bye." I figured she would rather be alone, even though something told me she desperately needed someone. I had no idea what was going on, but I was going to keep letting her know that I was there if she needed me.

I walked quickly to my next class. I hadn't been there the day before thanks to the whole Opportunity incident so I knew I had work to catch up on. I had planned to get there as soon as I could and speak with Mrs. Thurber about the make up work. Helping Gina had erased that chance, using up the entire passing period. I would just have to talk to her after class.

As I opened the door to English Lit. and looked inside the class, I noticed that something was different. Someone was sitting in the seat to the left of mine. No one had been in that seat all year. Luke sat on my right and he was already in class ready to start. I made my way to my usual seat keeping my eye on this new person. It was definitely a guy. He had his head bent down, searching through his backpack.

I sat down and looked over to Luke, shrugging my shoulders and nodding my head to the new student. Like who's this?

Luke just closed his eyes and shook his head back and forth. It was almost as if he didn't want to tell me. Something was up and I had a strange feeling about it.

I turned back to the new student to get a better look. Before my head even got all the way back to his side, I had a thought, like a supernatural understanding of who was sitting next to me. And I felt like Luke understood who he was too, which made no sense at all.

As this person looked up, my sixth sense was confirmed.

He looked right at me and smiled. A huge smile. He wasn't even attempting to cover up his grin. "Hey, Mallory. You made it today!"

TJ.

Here he was, right next to me in English. My opportunity had arrived and I had no idea what to do with it.

"Hi." That's all I could come up with.

"Mrs Thurber mentioned that you sat here yesterday. Just my luck that I already know someone in this class." TJ said, still grinning.

I couldn't help but smile back. He seemed genuinely happy to see me, and be sitting next to me.

"Yeah, lucky." Looks like I was on a roll.

I heard Luke clear his throat so I turned back to him, my eyebrows raised.

"Mal, I, uh, took some notes for you and grabbed the assignment from yesterday. Here." He remarked as he handed me the papers.

What?

"Ok, thanks. That was really nice." I looked back at him and he was looking right into my eyes. It made my heart rate speed up and my palms sweat.

Sheesh! Calm down, Mal!

"Yeah, that was cool of you." I heard TJ say. I whipped my head back to look at him. He was also looking right into my eyes, with the same effect on my nervous system.

Well, crap.

Just then, Mrs. Thurber started class and my attention was drawn to the lesson. I attempted to concentrate, taking diligent notes, but there were holes being burned in both sides of my face. I could feel the intense stares of each guy, one on the left and one on the right.

Ignore them, I told myself, don't let them get to you. But it was too late for that. My hand was shaking as I wrote my notes. Yeah, I think I was ready to go back to being ignored if this was the result of attention.

After a few minutes, the intensity on either side seemed to lessen. I took a quick peek over to TJ and saw that he was paying attention to his notebook. Out of the corner of my eye I could see that he had a tiny smile. The vibe I got from him was not as intense as I expected.

He seemed happy which made me relax a bit. I could feel my heart rate begin to calm down and my nerves settle. I realized that TJ was confident. It was only his second day at our school but he didn't act like it. He appeared totally comfortable in his surroundings.

Just then, he glanced over at me and caught my gaze. He gave me a little wink and smiled again. I smiled back, feeling comfortable as well. No nerves at all anymore, just like that. Huh, I liked it.

I focused back on the class, picking up in my notes where I had left off. On my left, TJ's side, I continued to feel at ease, calm. But on my right, Luke's side, the intensity remained. Curiosity got the better of me, so I snuck a peek over at him. I was shocked to see a scowl on his face as he concentrated on his notes. He held his pencil in a death grip as he wrote down the pertinent information, pushing down on the tip with all his might. I half expected the pencil to snap in two with the force he was using.

He must have sensed my attention because he suddenly looked over at me. His scowl relaxed a bit and he attempted to give me a smile, but it didn't meet his eyes. He seemed frustrated, or irritated, I wasn't sure which. What surprised me the most was my reaction. While TJ made me feel calm and relaxed, Luke made me nervous. Like butterflies going insane in my stomach. Like every nerve ending shooting electricity across my body. Definitely not relaxed. But kind of alive. It was amazing and terrible all at the same time.

I was so confused. This was not supposed to be my reaction to him anymore. I was supposed to have a crush on the imaginary Tyler which had now been transferred to the very real and very present TJ.

And why was Luke so upset? It made no sense. I shook my head at the thoughts I was having and continued on with my work. Class continued as usual, with the exception of the warring emotions on either side of my desk. It was awkward to say the least.

When the bell rang, I gathered my things quickly, ready to escape the tension. Was every day going to be like this now? I silently prayed that this was the end of the emotional tug of war and that things would smooth over soon.

TJ wasted no time getting up to leave, he shot a look back to me, smiling and saying "Hey, I'll see ya later, Mal" I smiled back, saying my goodbyes and walking out behind him.

"Mallory!" Luke called me back.

"Whats up?" I replied as I turned back to him.

"Can I walk with you for a minute?" He seemed hesitant to ask me.

"Sure" this was one for the books. Never in my life had a boy asked to walk with me.

"I wanted to ask you about TJ." He said. Perfect. That's all he wanted? So that's what was going on, alpha male pissing match. Just my luck that he had some kind of rivalry with TJ already. The guy just started for goodness sake! What could they be rivals over already?

"Okay, ask"

"So, how do you know him?" Luke's scowl was back.

"Robin's cousin, Bella, knows him. That time I went to the beach was with Bella's club team and his team was there too. I don't really know him well. We just talked for a few minutes that day." I explained.

Luke seemed to visibly relax. "Oh. He just seemed really familiar with you, like you were good friends or something."

"Well, I'm sure he's just happy to see a familiar face, seeing as he is new and knows no one." Why would he care if we were friends?

"Yeah, I guess. I get a weird vibe from him is all."

What is he talking about? I got no weird vibe from TJ. If anything, I was getting a weird vibe from Luke!

"I'm not sure what you mean. He seemed fine to me." But to be honest, I didn't know TJ at all, so I couldn't be sure.

"I guess he just seemed too..." Luke seemed to be searching for the right word, "comfortable"

Okay.

"Yeah, he seemed fine. But like I said, he was just happy to have a familiar face in one of his classes."

"If you say so. Well, see ya tomorrow, Mal" Luke waved a small wave as he turned to go to his next class.

That was strange. I just shrugged it off and continued on with my day. But one thought did strike me as I made my way to 5th period. What the heck was TJ, a senior, doing in my 11th grade English class? I was going to find out the next time I spoke with him. It was my new mission to get to know TJ. And it was time to stop allowing my emotions to take over every time Luke paid any attention to me. Enough was enough. TJ seemed to be interested in me, according to my friends, and I was going to see where it led.

^^^^^

Did you feel the tension? Or no, I'm not sure anymore. My writing confidence has taken a hit lately so who knows. There is more in store, I won't give up on this story even though it's a slow process.

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https://youtu.be/HibDj27DHMI