Song of the chapter - This Town by Niall Horan

My heart was thumping in my chest. The dreaded third period had finally happened, and it was worse than my nightmares could have predicted. I was shaking all over, from head to toe. I could barely unlock my phone, my fingers kept tapping the wrong numbers. I needed Robin. Or Stacey. Gosh even Gina might be helpful. Someone had to go to the library with me or I was going to lose it.

Ugly lose it, the worst kind. Tears and hyperventilating and passing out kind of losing it. No thank you. This was a massive SOS of the most desperate kind and I needed immediate response from all contacted parties. I decided the best and most efficient course of action was a group text. The girls and I all had one set up, but as soon as I could actually open up the chat, I added Gina so she could be my back up. She was a little scary, and a lot intimidating, and that was the kind of vibe I needed at the moment.

The message bar was open and waiting for me, but now that the phone was finally ready, my brain was not. I had no idea what to say. So instead of typing out a message to my ride or die, plus one, I closed the chat and opened last night's thread from Luke.

Yeah, Luke.

After I threw my phone in my bag, when Gina and I were at the book store, AKA my new favorite place on planet Earth, Luke had apparently sent one more text. Which I never saw until much later in the evening, so he basically blew up my phone wondering why I wasn't responding. Stalker much?

Of course, the second I saw his texts, I responded. And thus, the string of cryptic texts I was reading instead of messaging my back up. Last night it seemed just like any other convo between friends. But after what just happened in class, these messages had new meaning.

*WTF?!

*Mal, im so sorry...

*I knew he was no good

*R u ok?

*Mal dont be mad

*ok I kno it sounded like I was saying I told you so but...

*really I wasn't

*Mal

*ok nvr mind

Last night when I read them I felt embarrassed. The fact that Luke knew about the whole thing, and had predicted it, made everything he said hit me that much harder. He wasn't rubbing it in, but I still felt stupid for letting my heart get stomped on.

I know I said it wasn't broken, and that was true. Heartbreak doesn't happen in just a week. But it was bruised. It was sore. All of the attraction, and looks, and hand holding, ended up leading no where. It was like taking a long ride in the car with your favorite music and snacks, heading somewhere special, only to have car trouble and end up back where you started.

Once I read Luke's texts, I just wanted to go into hiding all over again, and pretend this was not my life. Instead of doing that, however, I decided to let Luke off the hook. He seemed to think I was mad at him just because I hadn't responded.

*Relax. It's all good. - M

*i mean it sucks, but I'm okay - M

I figured that would be it, but he responded right away.

*oh dang! I thot u were mad - L

*yeah it sucks - L

I answered him.

*thanks - M

Again I expected the texting to stop, but it didn't.

*Can I ask you something? - L

My heart was pounding for some reason.

*sure - M

*i heard something...-L

And that must have been why my heart was pounding. Deep down I knew he'd heard the rumor too. I was still shaking my head. When would the stupidity end? Why did people still believe anything Dylan said?

*THATS NOT TRUE!! - M

I know l was using shouty caps, but I wanted to end it before it began.

*Whoa- L

*calm down tiger - L

*thats good because I didn't THINK you'd leave campus with Gina...willingly anyway. ;-P - L

The second I read that last text, my first thought was 'what?' That's what he'd heard? Great. Now I had to clean up my own mess with Dylan's mess. I just hoped I didn't make a brand new mess.

*oh...that -M

*yeah I did leave with her -M

*shes cool -M

Luke obviously didn't think so.

*cool? - L

*i guess if you like people who scowl all day -L

*shes always glaring at me -L

*but what did you think I meant????? - L

Ugh. I sooooo did not want to get into it. But oh well. Thanks a lot Mr. Sally.

*Dylan's rumor -M

*which is false -M

*and that would be? -L

Crap. Even reading it the next day gave me the jitters. He didn't waste any time. And he wasn't letting me off the hook.

*that I cheated on TJ -M

There. I'd said it. I waited for Luke's reply, which up until that last text had been immediate. Those three little dots were on my screen. He was typing. But it was taking forever.

Then finally,

*oh. But I could have told you that wasn't true.

*youd never do that

***

Sitting in the library to wait for Luke to show up was almost as bad as sitting in class next to him had been. And, that tension was almost as bad as the first day TJ had been there, when I was the monkey in the middle. The difference was that this time all of the fire was coming from the back of the room, where TJ had decided to start sitting, not from Luke who still sat on my right.

Nope, in sharp contrast to the anger radiating from TJ's zone was Luke's pleased as punch level of energy. He was smiling, cracking jokes with me, brushing my arm with his. What the heck? And I knew why. He was rubbing it in as deep as he could to TJ. It was a nice gesture on his part, I guess, but completely unnecessary and kind of over protective too. Our break up hadn't been a massive blow out, the guy was just moving to another country. Circumstances, that was the problem.

Luke had made it into something else, more like a competition. And there I was waiting for the canary that ate the cat to come waltzing in with his smug attitude. Which was the reason for my SOS to my crew. And they certainly delivered. Every girl was staked out in the library ready to pounce if Luke even breathed incorrectly. And not one of them called me out on my stupid choice to even put myself in this awkward situation. Agreeing to be his partner on our latest assignment was not my proudest moment, but I guess everyone has those days. What can I say, other than I got sucked back into my old feels, the ones for Luke that had apparently never quite gone away. My creature of habit status had been confirmed by this situation, that's for sure.

I admit that, at first, I was stunned by his desire to show TJ up. I went a little fangirlish when he touched my arm, and then leaned in close to whisper "wanna be my partner?" as soon as Mrs. Thurber explained the assignment. I said yes without hesitation, but in my defense my brain had been mush from hearing his whisper voice. My gosh it was sexy!

The second the bell rang and I packed up my things, I noticed that TJ was just sitting there, looking at me. My heart sank. He looked miserable, and truthfully I felt the same way. There was a huge "if only..." unspoken between us that hurt. I instantly regretted agreeing to Luke so easily. I should have waited and talked to Luke in private. Or not at all.

Yeah, not at all would have been the better choice. I knew I was just setting myself up for more heart ache. And my heart hadn't even recovered from the first ache yet. I nervously shuffled the papers on the table in front of me, looking for my notes about our essay. The sound of someone clearing their throat caught my attention so I looked up, only to see Luke staring down at me. There was an unreadable expression on his face. I had no idea what was going through his mind, but it wasn't casual. Wrinkled brow, downturned mouth, stiff posture. Was he having second thoughts?

"Everything okay?" I asked quietly.

Luke just shook his head. Then he sat down across from me. When he looked back at me, he took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, Mal."

Oh dang. More rejection was on its way. The heart ache was happening way faster than I thought it would. He wasn't even waiting for the project to be completed. Guess I was going solo. Before I could speak, Luke continued.

"I shouldn't have acted like that." He shook his head again, looking away from me.

"Like what?" I leaned closer so we could keep our voices down.

"Like a jerk. I never liked TJ, but I didn't need to show him up like that. I just wanted him to know what he gave up."

My heart was pounding so hard I could feel it in my mouth. I kept swallowing to try to get it to stop, but it refused. My heart must have known something I didn't know. Where did my fabulous intuition run off to now?

I didn't know what to say. I wasn't sure what he meant, so I just blurted out the first thing on my mind. "What did he give up?"

Luke's eyes shot back to mine, a surprised look on his face. Was my question that bad?

"You," he said, with a tone that implied I should have known the answer.

It was my turn to shake my head. "I'm not-"

Luke didn't let me finish. "Of course you are. He was lucky to have you. Any guy would be."

Holy...what? I just looked at Luke, my jaw having dropped practically to the table. I'm sure Luke was aware of how surprised I was by his statement. But it did make sense. We were friends. He was supporting me, his friend. I did feel grateful.

I gave him a small smile and looked back to my notes, "Thanks, Luke. I appreciate that." Pulling out the essay criteria, I held it out to him, "Should we get started?"

"Sure," he said with an equally small smile. He grabbed the notes and looked them over. We divided the research up and decided on a timeline, planning to meet up after school every Monday and Wednesday to work on it for the next few weeks.

"I'm glad you're the type of partner who actually does their half of the work," I told him as we packed up our things.

"Not usually, if I'm totally honest." Luke didn't look at me as he spoke.. "But I'd feel like an ass making you do the whole thing. Not the image I need, now."

My head once again shot up to look at him. Slowly, his gaze rose to meet mine. Then we just stared at each other for a second. Silently. How do I respond to that? He kept dropping loaded statements, but there no way they could mean what my brain kept trying to tell me they meant.

"Oh." Smooth, Mal.

That officially ended the staring contest. Luke pulled his backpack up and around his shoulder. "See ya tomorrow, Mal."

I waved as he turned to leave, watching his retreating form with confusion. As he reached the exit, I felt something smack the back of my head.

"What the heck was that all about?" Gina was standing next to me, the source of the smack. Robin was standing next to her, both having their arms crossed.

"Huh?" I asked while rubbing my head.

"He was flirting with you!" Another smack. "Flirt back!"

I looked between both girls who had scowls on their faces. Nope. Not going there. "Listen, my relationship hasn't even had a chance for the burial. I can't go all flirty with Luke when the body isn't even cold."

Smack.

"You watch too much CSI. Cut that crap out and go get your man." Robin chimed in.

Shaking my head at the two meddling mothers, I grabbed my things and walked away. To walk home. Alone. Which used to be the best part of my day. But now the daydreaming only brought misery. Maybe if I could just daydream about puppies I'd avoid any more drama.

^^^^^

So, Luke? What are your thoughts...? Mal certainly is confused. I don't think anyone else is though.

This Town is all about painful reminders everywhere you look. Luke is like her past coming back to smack her in the face...

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