Two days later
7th May, 2022

"Then..?" Jungkook asked, holding the mobile phone next to his ears as he got out of his vehicle. "... And then she literally threw a tantrum!" The voice spoke and Jungkook smiled softly. "How is she...?" He breathed out. "Healthy now. Keeps scolding me as usual. You talk of yourself, young man. How are you?" The person on the other side said and Jungkook sighed.

"I'm fine" he told and the person on the other side went silent. "I watch your music video three times a day to stream" he told him and Jungkook habitually chuckled at the information. "Thankyou, appa" his smile stood intact. "Are you doing something else than focusing on our talk?" His father asked and Jungkook shook his head. "No I'm not" he said but soon enough, the lift 'dinged', catching him in the act.

He closed his eyes forcefully, sighing. "I'm just using a lift, appa" he said, expecting a good reaction. "That's okay." His father mumbled and Jungkook continued his steps. He took in the scent of the flowers he'd casually plucked from his garden, the one with the small white flowers. The one you liked. All the while contemplating wether he should walk to the edge of the lobby or not, he made sure to keep his focus on the phone call, at which he was failing. He replied short 'yes'es and 'no's to his father before he stood in front of a door, ready to enter it.

"What are you so unsure of, son?" The old man asked and Jungkook sighed again, turning around, ready to walk back to his vehicle without opening the door. "Open the door" he heard his father speak and froze on his spot, unable to move. "What?" He asked to be sure and his father shook his head.

"You think I'm living under a rock? I know what is going on. You have to apologize to her. I know that girl is your girlfriend, your mom told me already. What you're doing is something I'm not very proud of, I'm afraid. You may have your reasons but... the way you're choosing is not right." Jungkook couldn't talk, or reply. He gulped, pressing the device closer to his ear.

"Come on, I taught you better than that with women, Jungkook-ah!" His father endearingly voiced, smiling. Jungkook nodded to no one in particular, turning back toward the door, left with no choice. "Right, appa" he replied before his father said a small bye and disconnected the call. For he knew, his son had something to take care of.

Taking in a deep breath while sliding his phone into his pocket, his fingers brushed the pin keypad of the house. But before he could press in the code he already knew, he hung his head low. Looking up with courage, he decided to knock the familiar wooden material, once more.

🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌

15th May, 2022

The song had ended, once again beautifully with BTS posing to their lovely ARMY. Their constants. Their supporters. Their world. Jungkook had tried the hardest to keep up a smile, all the encore stages and the promotion shows were easier to deal with. But a concert of their own? Just BTS? He felt a different pressure on himself.

The performance was smooth, though. He was too used to it. They were used to it. They could compromise on their health, they could lack in fitness. But the performance? It had to be the damn same. That was, outstanding, the one which left everyone breathless. No matter what, it had to be special. For the ones who were seeing it for the first time, and equally mind-blowing for the ones who had seen it multiple times.

"We're back" Namjoon breathed out in the mic, heaving slightly. "WE'RE BACK!" He shouted this time, his breath under control and full of enthusiasm. As soon as he did, the ARMY roared to life, the noise breaking the soundproof system of the arena. With a beautiful speech, Namjoon did it again, some were crying, some were smiling. One by one, the six boys completed their meaningful speeches until it came to the part where the youngest had to speak.

Gripping on his purple coloured mic, he looked around, not talking at first. "A-" he stopped, biting his lip. Seeing him choke on his words, the thousands of people raised their voices, to tell him to speak openly, speak his mind. They were not idiots, after all. They knew what he was scared of.

"ARMY-ah" he voiced as if talking to a person, making everyone melt, turn even more attentive than they were. "I've got a lot to tell you..." he let out in a tired voice, recieving a huge 'tell us' by the crowd. "What do I say... Life hit me too hard, um..." He chuckled in between and everyone went quiet. "In the midst of everything..." He started, nodding. "I lost myself. Helping others to love themselves, I guess I stopped loving myself." he accepted, looking at his feet. The crowd was silent, very unlikely of it.

But he took it as a chance to speak up. "I suffered through severe depression in the mid 2021." he finally let out sniffling. At this statement, the crowd roared again, but this time, sadly. The hard thing was, it didn't stop. Jungkook couldn't say more. He looked around, tears filling his eyes. He tried his best, but the pearls dared to leave his eyes everytime he looked at the ocean which wasn't ready to quieten.

He brought the mic closer to his mouth once more. "And," he paused. Namjoon was about to walk to him to try and control the situation for he could foresee the consequences; however Jin's firm grip on his arm stopped him. He looked up to find a glaring Jin, shaking his head briefly to him, staring him down. Namjoon pursed his lips, nodding to the elder before standing back.

"And the reason was something I'm not comfortable with to share right now. I'd end up hurting someone, if they know they were the reason for my depression." He said and the ARMY quietened again, listening to him as he sobbed. "And then someone helped me out of it. First were all my hyungs..." he looked away, not looking at the elders who were smiling at him for he was too embarrassed.

"They did their best to help me. But I was stubborn. However, the biggest role was played by a very good friend. She was my best friend for many months." As soon as the crowd heard it, they knew where Jungkook was headed to. "But I realized I really, really loved her. Just like I love you guys. I never felt that kind of thankfulness to anyone except my ARMY." He shook his head, cheeks pink, eyes swollen.

"But I am in a relationship, with a beautiful person. Her name is Y/N, and it's true I hid it from everyone." Before he could speak further, the crowd had already grown too loud to defeat until Jungkook broke down in tears, crouching on the stage. Jimin immediately jogged over to him, shaking his shoulders and helping him stand back up.

"And..." He sobbed, wiping his nose in his sleeve. "And please forgive me for that. But it was me, I was the selfish one. I was scared. I still am. And I will be until you tell me if you're okay with it, ARMY." Jungkook said and the crowd shouted a big yes, making him cry even more. "Jungkookie, I'm pretty sure ARMY is our support system, and they'd never not support you for your decisions." Hoseok stated as a matter of fact, to which every person in the arena agreed, without a doubt.

That night, a weight was lifted up from his chest, An apology was accepted by someone. And a smile had come on both the faces before they slept.

🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌🌌

FLASHBACK

7th May, 2022

You could hear the knocks. Of course you could. But you didn't wish to open the door. Why? Cause you already figured out who it was. I won't open the door. I won't. He needs to realize that he's not perfect. It's not gonna be his way every fucking time. It didn't take long, and as you expected, the knocks had travelled now to your room door from the main house door.

He lost patience. "Y/N, open up" he voiced and you shut your eyes. It's been weeks. "Y/N-ah?" He said again, knocking a little bit louder. "Please open up now, you're worrying me" he spoke faintly. "Y/N!" This time he shouted, banging the door harshly. "Just let me know you're in there, damn it! Y/N? ARE YOU OKAY?" He shouted on the top of his lungs and you weekly removed the sheets from your body, walking to the already shaking door and standing next to it.

"Welcome, Mr. Jeon" your honey laced voice muttered and you could hear the man on the other side sigh in relief. "Suddenly remember you have someone to look out for? Why do you even give a damn?" You grimaced, smirking sarcastically. "Never do this again" he said through the wood and you chuckled. "Hello? I think I heard it wrong. Someone who didn't care if I was alive or not was now worried cause I didn't reply from my room?" You bitterly voiced and Jungkook hissed.

"This. Is. Not. A Joke." He said but you replied faster than expected. "EXACTLY MY POINT! IT IS NOT A JOKE!" You frantically raised your voice as if you'd discovered something. But it was muffles by the door. "What is it taht you're angry on, exactly?" He asked and you snickered. "Seriously Y/N. What did I even do?"

"That's whats wrong, Jungkook. You did nothing." you said, leaning on the door. "That's the fucking problem. Every time you make a mistake you never know what you did. You just never know what the fucking mistake you made was!" You emphasized the last words. "Y/N, please" he said and you rolled your eyes. "Please what? I'm doing what you told me to. I'm staying away from you. For good, as you said. I'm distancing us. That's what I had to do, right? Aren't I doing it correct, Jungkook-ssi?" You asked him and he shook his head to himself, leaning on the door too.

"I apologise. It was my mistake that I didn't have the guts to say that you're my girlfriend in front of those billion people I don't wish to disappoint" the man spoke, fuelling your awoken anger. "I am trying to save you here, Y/N. I don't want you to get involved into this-"
"Save me? By leaving me all alone? To deal with this by myself? By not only showing that we're nothing on screen, but also showing it when we're together? By not returning the hugs I gave you? I felt so fucking pitied, Jungkook!" You spat, finally opening the door.

"You really wanna know what hurt? You wanna know?" You asked him, gritting your teeth as you now stood in front of him. "That you never stood up for me. That you ran away, like a coward. That you dodged my necessities and didn't take my shield when I needed it. Just like all those others, you neglected me" you pointed to him, your pent up emotions spilling at his sight.

"It hurt that you couldn't even call me yours when it was the chance. All those big words, the big promises, they were all for show!" your voice cracked as tears spill from your eyes, dancing down your cheeks. "Is it a bad omen? Cause I really, really feel like we're not meant to be. Is it so, Jungkook? Did we make a mistake, going further than being friends in the first place?" You said before your throat gave up, tears choking your voice as you wailed silently, clutching your sides.

Jungkook extended his arm to touch your face, which you avoided by pulling yourself back. The bags under your eyes had darkened, you'd lost weight, unlike yourself. Your lips looked drained and your face looked pale and empty. This was not you. This was never you.

"Don't, Touch me." You raised your finger at him, tilting your head. "Feel what I have been feeling since these past weeks. Suffer the way I am suffering. Just the thought of not having you by my side at this tough time killed me, now reap as you fucking sow." You swore, going back into your room before slamming the door. "Live my life, go through this hell" you mumbled before sliding down on the wall next to the door, burying your face into your knees as you cried to your heart's extent.

Jungkook bit his lip in anger before gulping, suddenly realising what a fool he'd made out of himself, again. And the anger he felt this time was not for you. Just as usual, he wanted to cry in a corner for the fact that he was such a shitty person. The anger was for himself. He always messed up. Always. He never knew where to shut up, or where to just say sorry and end it. He didn't know where to act and how to show his love. And he hated himself for it.

"I'm sorry for being the bad one, Y/N." He whispered before he clutched the flowers tighter in his palms, opening the door and sliding it to you. "I'm really sorry."

"So much for a birthday present." you snickered, bringing the flower closer to yourself.

A/N
This chapter was suuuuuuuuuuuuper hard to write. Sorry for messing up the chap. Thankyou for so many reads anyway❤

Keep voting and commenting, please! It's the only source of inspiration!!!

This story will not have any epilogue.

Be yourself
-DiamondMaknae ❤