****flashback continued****

He just held me as my heart finally stopped racing. I lay next to him tracing the tatts he had on his body and breathing in his unique scent, just lay there too replete to move.
It was such a glorious feeling.

Then I heard his stomach complain loudly, got up and whipped up some cheese eggs and sausage I did manage to scavenge from his fridge.

We ate together and he said that it hit the spot and we showered, decided to go out on an actual date and hit the movie theater.

We saw a really great flick, had an ice cream and went back to his crib, sitting out on his steps enjoying the balmy summer night and each other's company, the whole crew was gathered it seemed.

I looked up cause I felt someone's stare. Nora, Sam's ex and a real hoodrat, was ice grilling me to death.

I hated this chic.

She was always trying to flirt with, and get back with my man, was a real bitch to me actually.
I didn't really know why, or what her problem was, most times I didn't care and would just ignore her.
But something wasn't right, couldn't even put my finger on it but I didn't like it.

I leaned back further into Sam and nodded my head in her direction. "What is this bitch staring at me for?" I asked him with a whole attitude.

I looked at him just in time to catch the look he had crossing his face, as he said quietly to me "C'mon, lil bit, let's go in the house"
"Yeah, right that just might happen!"
I retorted, too mad to care that I was basing on him.
He winced at my angry, snarky tone.
He thought it was directed at him, and maybe some of it was, because his actions were now causing my reaction, but most of it was centered on her.

She violated. She was part of the crew and had been there before there was a me and Sam.

He already knew what my temper was like when I was mad.
And right then...I was on ten

"Oh, that's the who, right?"

He didn't say a word just looked at me with sadness and apologies in his beautiful eyes.

I rolled my own eyes so hard that I swear I saw my own thoughts

He already knew what my temper was like when I was mad.
And right then...I was on ten!

Ohhh no. No no no!

This was HER. This was the hoe he had cheated on me with.

Nobody had to tell me, I just knew it.

I narrowed my eyes and said to him, "let me up!"
If anything, his embrace tightened and he whispered, "now, lil bit, don't do nothin, she ain't nothing to me"

I clenched my teeth, and said in a raised tone, "let me up! NOW!"

That caught Melissa and Fancee's attention.
I turned my head to them and said..."yup that's her, I already know!"

Sam closed his eyes and let go of me. I stood up and stared at her hard.
I waved my hand at the street, silently offering her a fair one.

Win or lose I was about to try my best to beat the brakes off her.

I started pulling back my hair into a tight bun, removed his chain, bracelet and my earrings.
Waited, my leg shaking, and my adrenaline kicking in.

I had just about everyone staring at me.

She approached, and said to him in a fake, sugary sweet way, "Ohhh Doc, now I see!
"THIS is why you won't return my calls and pages huh?
You got back with this bitch!!"

"Bitch?? Oh I got your bitch right here!" I promised with deadly intent in my eyes.

Sam stood up and came to stand in front of me and said in a warning way, "you need to leave, this ain't what you want, and I ain't gonna tell ya again! Bounce, bitch!'

She said, "Doc, you ain't the boss of me and I want to know what she got that I don't! You told me it was over between y'all.
You even told me that we could get back together like we used to be in high school.
I never got over you. You were supposed to be with me, not this bitch!"

Waah waah, this broad was breaking my heart. Oh well, now her face was about to get broke!

He said back to her, "Are you doing shrooms and crack again?
Hoe, you're delusional! IF I said any of that shit it was cause I was cross faded and wanted you to gimme head!"
She said, "yeah and I did too right, did you tell her I sucked on ya lil ass stanky dick?
I'mma let everyone know this muthafucka right here got limp dick!"she looked around at everyone watching us, then she cackled and tried to spit in his face.

He knew it was coming, he moved just enough so that it missed, but in moving, he created the space I needed as I saw my chance and took it.

I leaped from behind him, mugged her in the face so hard her whole head snapped backwards.
I grabbed ahold of her hair and yanked her into the street where I threw my hands up, landing a wild hard slap to her cheekbone that echoed loudly in the air.

She finally saw I wasn't playing any games with her ass, and swung back, aiming for my facial area.

I ducked, swung back with a two piece uppercut and jab, as I weaved around her and hit her again, this time in her head.
I couldn't see straight, there was a red haze all around my vision, but I could feel the entire corner closing in around us...could hear them chanting my nickname of Nikknakk.

She turned and came at me again, trying to hit me anywhere she could reach!
Swinging wildly and screaming all types of curses.

Fistfighting was another one of those "useful things" being with Sammy had taught me.
He had done amateur boxing and taught me all the moves.
I moved like he'd shown me, hands up to protect my face.

He'd taught me that the best way to avoid getting hit, was to lean back as the punch was thrown, and when I countered, to step with the movement of my hands.

That it took more momentum to throw a punch and miss, then to throw a punch and have it land.
That I should keep my breathing shallow in short breaths and not to talk shit in the middle of a throwdown.

You literally wasted your breath doing that.

She came in close and hit me just above my eye, catching my brow, and I felt blood drip down my face!
Dirty bitch cut me with her ring!

That was the only hit she got because I then grabbed her hair, wrapped it around my left hand and began throwing vicious stinging slaps and punches directly to her face with my right.
My last punch made her nose gush blood, as she went for one more hit, which I evaded easily!

She grew weary of the ass whipping I was giving her, and lost the fight.
I could feel her give up, just as I felt myself being pulled and lifted off of her!
Sam bodily carried me to the house a few feet away, me screaming over his shoulder to stay the fuck from around my man, or next time I'd hurt her!

He put me down and glared down at me saying,"Damn girl, you ain't had to do that! I told you she don't mean shit to me no more.
What I had with her was over a long time ago."

He grabbed my hand and pulled me into the bathroom, still basing on me, "AND NOW, just look at yourself, you fucking bleeding, with that funky ass lil temper of yours and shit!!"

He grabbed the first aid kit that he kept under the sink, ripped open a pack of gauze, wet it, and dabbed at my eyebrow.
I looked up at him just as he decided to grab my hand again and pull me into his room where he sat me on his bed and started searching in his dresser for a clean black tee.

He tossed it to me telling me to take off the shirt I was wearing as it had blood all over it.
I grimaced and said, "I ain't hurt at all, can you stop hollering at me now?" Shit, I did too have to do that!"

He glanced at me, still pissed, I could see it.

He threw his hands up in the air and asked, "WHY Nikole? Why!
I told you to let it go, but nooo, will you ever fucking listen when I say something!?
You heard what I said tho right!"

He turned back to his dresser and started emptying his pockets onto the top of it in search of the blunt we'd been smoking earlier.

I stuck my tongue out at the back of his head and saw him immediately still.

Oh shit!

He saw me sticking it out at him in the mirror on the top of the dresser!

He turned and said with a leer,"Ohhh see, you shouldn't have done that, girl!"
Then without another word, launched himself onto me knocking me backwards on the bed, where he proceeded to tickle me mercilessly till I was crying from laughing so hard. My ribs ached and cheeks did too.

"Stoopppp!! I screamed, "I give up!"

He stopped immediately and said victoriously, "yeah, I bet yur sorry now ain't ya?" He smirked.
I said "I'm sorry Yu caught me being disrespectful" with real apology in my voice, "but I'm not sorry I knocked that bitches head off!
Sorry, I'm just not sorry for that"

He looked at me and said, "You're sorry for disrespecting me? When did you do that?"
I looked up at him and said, "when I stuck my tounge out at you!"

He laughed and gently placed his hand to my face and said, "Aw shit, that wasn't disrespectful, that was cute!
There I am hollering at you and you ain't even phased" his eyes started smoldering at me as he stretched his full length out on top of me and kissed me so effectively I saw stars.

Then he proceeded to undress me, slid into my waiting entrance, where made slow, passion infused love to me.

As we neared completion, he grabbed my face and looked at me saying, "I love you Nikole! You're my day one. I'mma get you pregnant yet, watch.
You need to go off those pills.
I want you to have my baby!"

I knew I couldn't tell him and ruin the mood, but I wasn't ready for a child. We hadn't been together long enough and I wasn't financially ready yet either.
But knowing that he wanted me to have our baby, made me feel things that I hadn't ever thought I'd feel.
He had no other kids yet, so I'd be the first of something for him for a change, since he was my first, well, damn near everything.

I moaned, bit his earlobe and said nothing as I came so hard that I wept with it.
He finished just after that, and we lay entwined, just enjoying the night.

He said again,"WHY did you beat her ass like that tho?"
This time I saw him smirk, all of the anger gone from him.
He was tickled by my actions, I could tell.

He just almost always had to be the tough guy.

The bad boy.

My bad boy, with a heart of gold.

I answered, "Because, I had to. No matter what you said!"

He turned his head, and looked at me questioningly.

I continued, "JUST imagine that it was me who cheated on you"
He said mildly," I'd rather not, I'll be pissed at YOU for MY imagination" and grinned his signature smirk.

"Okay' I said "now imagine he was all in your face, issued a challenge, in front of me, and our whole crew!
Now you tell me you would listen, just cause I told you to!"
He cracked his knuckles, and looked menacing.
" Yeah. Well, I couldn't either," and then I sat up and kissed him, which led to other things, yet again.

Later that evening, after finally going to the market and getting food in the house, we were chatting while I prepared chicken parmesan, garlic bread, and pasta for dinner, one of the meals he loved me to fix.

There was a knock on the door, and a second later, Akki came through it.
We seldom had it locked, unless we were otherwise engaged, just in case one of his boys, or even one of my Hooligan Girls needed a place to stay.

One time, we even woke up and discovered Akki had prepared breakfast for us.

He glanced at me, greeting us, and saying humorously to Sam,
"Dang, I missed it huh? I heard Nikknakks went all Rocky on that stupid hoe!"

I turned my head as I heard Sam retort, with actual pride in his voice, "Oh yeah, my girl ain't take no shorts! She annihilated that chick!
I never knew hurricanes came in human form, did you?"

I looked at him and just shook my head.

Boys!