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~ Day Dreams ~
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~ Chapter Twenty Seven ~
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~ Invisible Scars ~
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~ Eighteen-Years-Old ~
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~ Hazel's POV ~
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Breaking eye contact with Jake as I gaze into the opposite direction of the indoor arena as my porcelain cheeks turn to the shade of ruby red. After soon realizing, my impatient eyes somehow find their way back towards Jake. He kneels and stores some items into his bag in front of him.

As quick as Jake can manage, he's up to his feet in no time and clears his throat. "Sorry, I didn't notice you standing there."

My cheeks burn as hot as a flaming hot chilli forcing into my dry mouth. I swear every time Jake looks at me, my breath is sucked into a black hole. Forever lost. Forever captive. Forever dark. Forever gone.

"I'm glad you could make it," Jake said with a million-dollar smile, "And I think it's only fair that I'm the early one this time, considering I was the late one last practice."

I glance away again, catching my breath once more; knowing I am safe with Jake like I am beneath the protection of our willow tree. Forever safe. Forever free. Forever alive. Forever bright.

I rise my head to meet Jake's lingering gaze, "Honestly, it's okay. I didn't mind waiting last time," I said with a shy smile, "But I'm glad I came along too."

Jake continues to smile with his ever-glowing eyes and pearly white teeth. Without any words said, we stand in silence. Within the silence itself, it was safe, like somehow we understand each other. I do understand Jake but not entirely. For years I have, but now I barely know him. There is something that I will never understand about him when we were apart. But will I have a chance to understand Jake if I stop the lies? Why have I not told him and what is holding me back?

The lies are building up by the second and causing me dizzy. Dizzy from the truth I want to scream from the rooftop, but my guilty conscience haunts and stalks me in the dead of night. Will I have the courage to tell him? Or should I run and never look back? You love feeling close to him, Hazel, like when you were kids. But there is this strange attraction that is drawing me towards him, like a magnet of some kind.

Clearing my mind of any more thoughts of Jake, I freeze, realizing I forgot about the water viciously ten feet away from where I am standing. My stomach drops to the bottom of the sea, knowing the water wins yet again. I remember hitting my head on the side of the concrete wall and falling to the bottom of the pool. Then all of a sudden I was on the bottom of the ocean floor, as I rest above the sand and seaweed flowing in rhythm within the current of the water. The sun was shining ever so bright above the sea, like reflections as the light beams off sparkling scales of the fish in the deep blue sea. Or was that my birth mother's shimmering red hair sparkling? Her hair was shining within the depths of the ocean and cascading around her blurry face and gentle voice.

I gulp at the remembrance of the concussion incident and distance myself from the water. That incident cannot ever happen again. I will not let it. I will be strong and fight it like a warrior that is hidden inside my heart beneath the hurt, betrayal and lies piling up. I distract myself from any more obsessive thoughts and focus on the commotion in front of me. And boy, was it a distracting, breathless sight...

In one smooth motion, Jake removes his hoodie and lays it on top of his sports bag and he ruffles his golden brown hair out of his ocean blue eyes. Jake grabs all of the items from the shed and shifts them towards the edge of the pool, then jumps into the water causing ripples around him. Realizing I am staring too much and about to look away, but Jake's eyes and mine entangle within each other's gaze. A strange sensation of butterflies flutters within a cage in my stomach.

What is this feeling? I have known Jake forever. This cannot be what I think this is! It cannot. It is not possible. But I am lying to myself because it is true. The feelings are real and scare the living hell out of me. Because these so-called 'feelings' just might be the end of our time together and I cannot let that happen. I can be selfish at least once in my life, right...? Not that Jake feels the same way because he is only doing his job. Jake is doing a good job at distracting me from the harsh reality I am yet to face within ten feet away.

Tearing my eyes away from Jake's, I sigh a deep breath and remove my hands covering my body. I feel Jake watching my every move but I might fall into the water so he needs to catch me because it is his job to save everyone. Even so, I still blush bright red underneath Jake's gaze. Breathing in a slow breath and close my eyes, bracing myself for what comes next. Water! Angry water, death glares straight ahead of me, gently blinding me as the sun sparkles on top of the water from the skylight above.

Once I calm myself down, I gulp as I walk towards the edge of the pool with shaking, sweating hands. "So, I'm guessing all of this..." I motion with my still shaky hands towards the clutter of the pool items on the stone ground. "...is to help me stay afloat?"

Jake nods and gestures towards the clutter, "Yeah, grab what you want and what you think will make you feel more confident in the water."

Glancing at the pile of the pool's gear, I tap my narrow chin with my slender fingers, deep in thought at what I should take with me. I thought, why not take it all. Reaching for the lifejacket first and clip it into place, I then step into the inflatable ring float as it rests upon my hips. Next, I grab the inflatable arm floats and slide them up my thin arms, then I pick up the foam pool noodle and foam kickboard. I swear, I must look ridiculous in this get-up.

I brace myself for what is to come next, but I continue to glide myself down the metal ladder with a slight shake in my step but I manage to hide it. Easing myself into the cold water beneath my numb feet and I squeal from the coldness. Why did I just squeal? I am so stupid. Who does that? I am so pathetic.

Jake moves through the water effectively as always to meet me at the ladder, as I float on a slight angle. Jake rests his strong hands on my narrow shoulders, guiding me towards the concrete wall as my free hand lingers on the edge of the pool. The foam noodle floats between my legs and with one hand, I hold the foam kickboard close to my heavy breathing chest, holding onto both  and the edge for dear life in case I somehow might drown when Jake is not patrolling.

Within the closeness of Jake, his body heat radiates and warms me from the inside out. I cannot help but continue to breathe heavy  after realizing that I might seem like a panting dog after enduring a long dog walk. My panting must have been noticeable so Jake gives me space to breathe, distancing himself away from me. My breath normalizes to a more normal pace as I can now breathe in air and it is not getting sucked into a black hole. I cannot tell if I was panting because of the water or Jake's closeness or both? Both, however, water more now because of the absence of Jake's warmth.

We both fall silent again as Jake stares off into his imagination again, deep in thought. Jake's lips form into a thin line and I wonder what he is thinking? You do not think he can figure out that it is actually me, Hazel, right...? But why is there a hard expression on his face? Did I mess things up already? Would you think he would hate me if he finds out the truth?

After a few minutes of silence, Jake meets my gaze and I freeze, knowing that I was caught red-handed staring at him in a daze. My cheeks burn again but I cannot seem to tear my eyes away from his again.

"So, for both of our benefits, I need to know more information about your fear of water," Jake says in a gentle voice, almost like a whisper, "Would you say you struggle with PTSD at all?"

Well, that was sudden...

Still floating in the water on a slight slant, I say, "Umm... I—uh..." I breathe in a deep breath and release a small sigh, "I...I guess I do. I suppose."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to throw you off guard," Jake said with sympathy in his kind stares. "I know a lot about PTSD, from my training for Lifeguard school."

"But we don't have to talk about it. I just needed to be sure," Jake said with a gentle expression, "Anyway, this lesson I want you to focus on having some fun."

Fun... was Jake actually serious? How can I have fun when I am terrified of the water? He has to be joking, right...? Maybe these swimming lessons were a bad idea after all... I just might make an embarrassment out of myself.

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Please, tell me in the comments what you thought about Chapter Twenty Seven? 🙈 I'll be greatly appreciated, thank you, you very kind soul!
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~ Chapter Twenty Seven ~
~ Dedications ~
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HeliiBoh
DebMorey
PeterPetruzzella
CaitlinWoodward9
DaniJones_14
ChloeMayerhofer
savvvy1998
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You guys should totally check out PeterPetruzzella short story! Lighthouse. It's amazing!
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You guys should totally check out ChloeMayerhofer story! Fallen! It's awesome!
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C.Morey 🥕 xoxo
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