Alice Humphrey:

Pros:
-the nick names were clever. I liked that bit.
-the flippant line of "This is Mark. He doesn't say much" had me laughing.
-not really understanding the sleeping beauty thing but if gives me Clarisse vibes and I like it
-stop with the grabbing, line was good because it seemed like a natural way for Alice to show she can't be bosses around
-some good comedy written in to balance out some of the serious stuff

Cons:
-the jumping of POVs is difficult and muddled the narration
-commas are our friends. They go after the start of sentences with So, Then, or However.
- Don't forget to use periods
- The breaking of scenes is a little much. They feel underdeveloped.
- Some of the paragraphs had odd sentences that left me confused like "she'd suggested mark had a coughing fit."
- Your characters didn't seem to be in any real danger
- The dialogue was formatted very weird

Additional comments:
-Peasants? Did you refer to the civilians as peasants? I don't know if I should laugh or cry at this.

Feyre Azure:

Pros:
-the opening setting and atmosphere was beautiful. The way you sprinkled in humor with the description was lovely and I adore how you described the other group Members.
-loving Kara's character

Cons:
-the very start was a tiny bit confusing
-the sudden 'sexua?' Tension between Kara and Feyre was a but sudden and underdeveloped
-when a character is thinking something don't use "". Instead, use '—-' whatever they are thinking goes in the middle and it's italicized.
-Diakogue can continue after and action or tag (like 'she said') without being a new paragraph. As long as it's a continued thought or part of the same immediate thought.
-this is some creepy ass cult shit going on but I like it
-the argument between Blaire and Kara was rather sudden and offbeat
-the argument was confusing and hard to follow
-the combat was a bit muddled and confusing
-I liked the cult- thing at the start but I felt like you lost sight of the task a tiny bit and it didn't seem to fit that well. I didn't understand David's correlation to the plot or their god.

Joules Tesla:

Pros:
-interesting and well developed start
-like how you used the character 'Carson' as you called him
-the mental image of a crazed cheetah isn't something I knew I needed until now
-interesting dynamic between the Aphrodite kids

Cons:
-Luis' sudden explosion fest was a little sudden and I almost missed it if I hadn't been paying attention
-the chapter's resolution felt a little rushed and I'd have liked to see more of it but you did complete the task as assigned.

Corbin Magpie:

Pros:
-the pretentious attitude mixed with a mischievous one is very interesting
-a pretty comfortable twin/brother dynamic is at play
-interesting ending. A little short but it got the point across.

Cons:
-Corbin's character is a strong one and it works but don't make his rambling the central focus 100% of the time. Reign it in every now and then.
-the melodramatics are a bit overwhelming and sometimes undermine Corbin's character potential.

Nicole Dabria:

Pros:
-very good and captivating start
-I like Nicole's association with Temple Hill and her recollection of times with Auntie
-interesting little setting creation with the trash filled tunnel. Way to work around the constraints of the task.
-it was nice seeing Luis' sacrifice. It really raised the stakes of the quest.
-interesting plot twist with Luis

Cons:
-Nic's vulnerability started showing but it was cut off very quick. While it is part of her character don't sacrifice development for an ideal of Nic being stoic
-Nic's sudden use of her powers left me a bit confused because I wasn't sure what she was using them for at first
-I didn't understand the transition between Luis' revealing he knew Nic, and her bolting through the tunnels

Additional Comments:
-the racism of the old people was a surprise. Especially since it's been faded due to increased relations with Greeks. Odd that they'd share the mentality of Lydia yet seek refuge from her.
-I'm not sure how to feel about Kara's sudden change of character