This time will be different. This time will be better. We haven't had proper us time for some time. We need to get back to fitting in time for us.

At Todd's insistence, he'd convinced Steve and me to hand off Gracie to him so we could have a date night. I could count on one hand how many times we'd had quality time since she'd been born four years ago.

It felt really strange, to be out in public. If anyone knew who we really were, they didn't speak up about it. I kept a tight arm around Steve's as we walked in the city. He and I both had our phones on standby in case Todd had a question or—Gods forbid—an emergency.

We'd settled for a nice, quiet restaurant. It'd been a while since I had dressed nicely and didn't have my clothes food-stained from a child tossing it at me at the dinner table. We were still working with her on that habit. We still weren't sure who taught her that.

We sat mostly in silence, allowing the soft instrumental tunes to play above our heads. My eyes scanned the booths, the tables, the bars. The bar was fairly packed, with the occasional loud laughter and chatter. There were elderly couples, younger couples. Singles at tables.

Perhaps the worst was watching the singles order food for someone who wasn't opposite them. Or they would suddenly burst into quiet tears even though I noticed.

"Kiara."

Steve's voice pulled me back to our table. "Yes?"

"I know." His blue eyes went soft.

I exhaled. "It's not fair, right? That we lucked out and have our lives together whereas others...we completely ruined them."

"Hey, hey. We try not to talk about that."

"I know." I inhaled through my nose. "It's hard to not think about it, I mean...the world is like this." Because of us. I feel like we didn't get enough punishment for it. "People are walking reminders of our failure, Steve."

"How about we don't focus on that? We've got a night to ourselves. Todd has Gracie. Let's enjoy us."

I nodded. "Right. Us."

Considering we lived together, there wasn't anything new to really talk about over dinner. We'd discussed potential schools for Gracie when she was old enough to start. That was a scary thought; she was almost old enough to start an education.

My thoughts spiraled to Gracie's older years. Somewhere in that, knowing her genetics, she'd end up with some sort of power. It didn't necessarily have to copy my abilities, she could just be more durable like her father. There were still a lot of question marks about her future, and those were speculation only. We wouldn't know until things came to pass.

Conversation was scarce during our time in the restaurant. No matter how many times Steve pulled me away from snooping, I couldn't help it. I knew I wasn't the most observant of people, but considering I knew why the world was how it was...

"How're you—how're you holding up?" Steve asked quietly.

At first I didn't understand his question until I thought more on it. "Oh, um," I cleared my throat, "I'm...I'm still working through it. I've...I've acknowledged that it happened. I'm still...working through my feelings when I think about it."

"Do you think...?" Steve had a hard time finishing his question.

Part of me wanted to blurt out the answer, but on the off chance I was wrong, I stayed silent.

"Do you think," he started again, slowly, "that maybe...after some time, we can try again?"

I sniffed, my heart was sent into a panic. I exhaled deeply, and my heartrate calmed slightly. "We'll...we'll see. It's not something we can just forget about."

"I'm not saying that we have to forget about it, ever. They were a person."

We'd never found out the baby's gender—we were waiting until it got closer. We had begun tossing around names of both genders, just to get feelers out. "They would've been ours, Steve."

"I know."

"How are you handling it?" Granted, I felt more of the pain than Steve did—at least, I believed so. I'd carried that child until I lost it. While Steve didn't have that particular connection to our child, he was still the father.

"Meetings help me not think about it. But again, I'm not going to pretend that it didn't happen." A wobbly smile came onto his face. "Sometimes I dream about it...only, it was a boy. Some nights I get these dreams that seem so real...but then..."

I nodded solemnly. "I understand." This was the first time Steve had said this to me. I hadn't known...

Tears began to gather in my husband's eyes. It was a look he rarely put on. The last time I had seen this...was the day we found out I'd miscarried. He hadn't held back the tears then, it had hit him so quickly...

"W-what did we settle on, if it had been a boy?" I asked softly. It was risky, to ask such a thing. But maybe it would bring us some happiness.

"I-I honestly can't remember." Steve hastily wiped his eyes.

To spare us both more pain, we opted out of dessert. I couldn't run out of that place fast enough.

This will never go away, especially if we let this go on much longer. Will we ever get numb to it? Is it bad to say that I cannot wait for that day to come, if it ever does?

We never received any messages from Todd. It was both good and possibly troubling. Gracie was pretty good with Todd and Natasha, regardless of which one she was with. At times, she did have a tendency to wander into trouble when she knew she could get away with it. That child was clever when she wanted to be. I hoped as she got older she'd use her smarts for good and not mischief.

She's not Loki's, but sometimes her sneaky manner is just like him. I wasn't sure what made me think it. Loki had been gone for five years, though he did linger in me, a tiny piece of him. I didn't miss him enough to wonder what could have been, more like I wondered just exactly how truthful Thor had been when he had said Loki was changing from his devious ways. I'd wanted to believe him. If only I had been able to see it for myself.

Though not his daughter, Loki would've definitely encouraged her to get into more trouble, good leaf or not. He would've been that uncle she saw once in a blue moon who always got her into trouble whenever he'd be around.

I refocused to the present as we got back to the house. Again, no messages from Todd. Everything could be under control, or he was in the middle of something with Gracie and it hadn't been resolved yet.

Thankfully, once inside, the two were sharing a couch, completely asleep. It was remarkable that Gracie didn't wake with how loud Todd was snoring near her. Steve went to go shut off the TV.

I woke up Gracie first. She mumbled sleepy words and tiredly reached for me. I pulled her off Todd and moved her into her room and set her in for bed. Todd had thankfully convinced her to put on PJs prior.

When I came back into the living room, Todd sat up sleepily, ruffling his hair. His brown eyes bulged when he saw the both of us.

"What did I do?!" he panicked. "Oh, crap, she's hiding again isn't she?"

"Again?" I asked incredulously.

"She likes to play Hide-and-Seek, like, a lot. She's getting a little too good at it."

"Or you're just that bad at the game. She's four, Todd. She's not an evil mastermind."

"She's got her parents' smarts, she's using them early."

"Well, in any case, I just put Gracie to bed. You two were out pretty hard. We just got back not too long ago. If you're not able to drive home, you can keep the couch for the night."

"Eh, I think I'll be okay for the drive back." Todd rose, stretching his waking limbs. Steve disappeared down the hall. "How was date night?"

I shrugged. "Nobody crashed it, so I guess it was all right. It was still difficult, though."

"Yeah. Some things you think will get better, but yet..."

I nodded. "Go home, Todd. Sleep. Thanks again for watching Gracie."