Lyra

-

"We're not there yet, Lyra. I think it's time we turn in for the night," Marco suggests, after hours of near-silent searching through countless New Republic records on all known intel on the Empire-era crime syndicates. I blink slowly, my eyes now at the point of strain from the intense focus I'd placed on learning everything I could to aid me in my search.

The search for my mother.

"You're right," I sigh, switching the holo-screen off. My dinner plate rests barely touched near my hand, and my muscles groan as I rise from my chair. Rey grunts beside me, her muscles likely aching just as much as my own. The three of us leave the command center together, making our way toward the barracks.

Since the Battle of Crait a little over two years ago, Marco and I had taken on the rigorous task of training Rey to become a fully realized Jedi. Give or take nearly a year on my part, of course, as I'd needed time to myself when I'd become more heavily pregnant, and then a new mother. But in the short time that we've trained her, Rey has become truly extraordinary.

I'd only seen such strength in the Force in two others in my lifetime. One dead, after sacrificing himself to save us all. The other technically alive, but dead to me in all other ways than the breath flowing through his lungs and heart beating in his chest.

Only in the last few months have we been able to begin the rigorous search for my mother, which proved itself to be a much harder task than it had originally appeared at face value.

"Her name is Qi'ra. She grew up on Corellia with Han, actually. She was his first love," Leia smiled at her late husband's memory, and I felt my heart skip a beat. She rubbed a thumb over my hand that was clutched in hers, and I smiled back at her blearily. The newborn baby made adorable sounds as she had her very first nap at my bedside.

Apparently my mother had a type- my dad was every bit the smuggler that Han was.

"She ran a crime syndicate, Crimson Dawn, during the rule of the Empire. She betrayed Han for it, once. But he still spoke so highly of her," she finished, cupping my cheek. My exhausted head lolled back onto my pillow, but my heart still managed to flutter at the thought of the mother I had always dreamed of knowing.

Even remembering that moment now, when I had learned more about the nameless, faceless woman who had given me life than I had ever known before, my heart still flutters.

And when I'd first seen her face, though it was below the word Wanted in Galactic Basic, it was unlike anything I had ever felt before. She looked just like me. I am her spitting image.

In fact, my life hasn't felt as right as it does now since I was a happy, teenaged padawan at the temple in Coruscant, so brutally unaware of the rocky path laid out before her. I've become the Jedi I've trained and toiled my whole life to be. I openly and freely fight for the Resistance and for peace in the galaxy, and I'm doing it alongside and for everyone I love most.

Well, almost everyone.

As Marco, Rey, and I near Leia's quarters, I begin to hear the faint, bubbling laughter of my baby daughter, and a grin splits my face. Rey mirrors my smile as we slow to a stop.

"I'll see you at dawn, for meditation," she says, and I dip my head in agreement. She turns toward her own quarters.

"Sweet dreams," I shout after her, to which she looks over her shoulder and winks.

I let the pad outside Leia's quarters scan my handprint, and the doors hiss open moments later. When I step inside, my eyes find granddaughter and grandmother at the center of the room, laughing over a children's show playing on the holo.

"Ae-lie!" I call, and my chest warms as the tiny girl twists around and finds me across the room with the sweetest look of wonder on her face.

I see so much of her father in her.

Her grassy-green eyes are bright as she watches me approach her. It is one of the only features she seems to have inherited from me. His freckles are sprinkled over her nose, his plump lips are in the smile adorning her face, and even his thick black curls fall softly over her forehead.

"Mama mama mama," Aelin babbles, reaching for me with her chubby fingers. I sweep her up in my arms and kiss her cheek. Her head falls to my shoulder, and I instantly feel guilty that she'd had to stay up so late on my account. Not fully guilty, however, because it practically guarantees that I'll get a rare, uninterrupted full night's sleep tonight.

"Thank you for watching her again, Leia," I say to the general, watching us from her couch.

"You know you don't need to thank me," she jokingly scolds. We say our goodnights and I leave to finally head to my own chambers.

When we're safely inside, Aelin watches me, her huge eyes wide as I put her to bed.

"Night night, mamama," she says tiredly. I'm about to turn away when, out of the corner of my eye, I see her blanket throw itself down at her feet, seemingly out of its own volition.

It would be easier to believe in such a coincidence for someone who had no idea who her father is, or her mother. For someone who couldn't feel the way the Force seemed to dance and pulse in her presence.

She is so strong with the Force. So small, so young, and yet, already, so strong.

I lean down and loosely tuck her blanket in at her sides, so she can't do it again. I smile conspiratorially.

"Goodnight, Ae-lie," I whisper gently. Her jade eyes have already fluttered shut.

The back of my mind, where he used to be, starts to throb again, as it does each night. Perhaps it is triggered by the thought that often crosses my mind, of just how much he would love her.

A small part of me also thinks of just how much I traitorously miss being held by him. But I have Aelin, Leia, and each of my dear friends, I berate myself, and their love is enough for me.

Or perhaps he is trying to use our connection to enter my mind again, so willfully unaware of the fact that there is nothing in the galaxy he could do to convince me to allow him back in.

He has broken my heart for the last time, and I will never, ever give him the chance to break Aelin's too.

Shutting out the dull pain, I collapse on my bed after another day well spent. I fell asleep just as soon as my eyes fluttered closed.

-

Kylo

-

I sit at the edge of my bed, fists clenched, eyes screwed shut.

It's infuriating, how easily she pushes me away.

It had been over a year ago, when I felt that great pain in her. The way her heart pounded in her chest. I can still hear her screams echoing in my mind, almost deafening in my nightmares in the rare nights that I am able to get any sleep.

I was angry, so blisteringly angry at her in the months after she left me on the burning Supremacy. All of this, despite the fact that we were finally, finally on the verge of achieving the greatness we had always deserved.

Then I'd felt the pain tear through her body through our bond, the terror filling her very soul.

I could never focus, not completely, on a single task as the Supreme Leader since. And I can feel my grasp at control slipping. I can sense the anger and disgust building in General Hux, but I find that I don't care. Not anymore.

Every night since the day I had heard her screams I have called for her, tugging on the bond. Maybe she won't forgive me, but I just want to know that she's alright.

But she's closed herself off to me completely. Each time that I try to find my way back in, her defenses seem to only grow stronger.

Lya, I whisper down the bond. A spot of warmth answers me, just as it had for the past few months, but I know it's not her. It's a new connection, one I am entirely unsure of. I am not even sure who or what it is, just that it is there, and warms at my voice.

I force the heels of my hands to my eyes, and exhale through my nose. Then I break away and crawl into my bed, pathetically clinging to the futile hope that perhaps tomorrow, or the day after, will be the day that she finally lets me in again.

-

hey friends! i know it's been a little while since my last update, but my next one won't take so long.

i hope everyone is doing well :D this semester has been kicking my ass, but i'm glad to still have writing as a refuge!!

i hope you guys enjoyed this first real chapter. any theories yet? what did you think?

don't forget to vote, comment, and share!

all love,

kait