Freya

Edges of my senses blur into reality.

Wooden ceiling, murmured voices, smoke. Dazed, I can't pinpoint my whereabouts as my eyes pull closed, drifting into an empty space. The voices zone in and out of my ear space, the conversation muffled by a squealing in my eyes.

I pick up bits and pieces.

Cloud. Unconscious. Mark.

My eyes feel glued shut, though I try to force them open. After several more moments, my body feels more steady. Something soft cushions where I rest, a scratchy texture covering half of my body waist down. I try to speak, but nothing comes out.

"Hana." The voice blurs at the edge of my consciousness. Firm, familiar. Alaric. "You have to listen."

"We don't know what it means," the voice, Hana responds.

"Which makes it dangerous."

"Which makes it unexpected," she corrects. "Not necessarily dangerous."

A tense silence passes. I hold my breath, fully conscious now, but afraid to open my eyes. "You weren't there. You didn't see her. She's unconscious--"

"She brought the cloud," Hana interrupts. "She stopped--"

"Freya?" A hand touches my shoulder making me flinch. The jolt of energy that follows shoots up the length of my left arm. "I know you're awake."

I force my eyes open slowly, squinting at the brightness of the room. Lying flat on my back, Alaric hovers over my side, his eyebrows pulled together as he searches my face. Hana appears over his shoulder, her expression stoic.

When I shift, Alaric helps me into a seated position. A wave of nausea washes over me as the memories rush back. My eyes bolt to my arm, half expecting the marks to be part of the clouds' hallucinations. But they maim my arm just as dark and seared as they had when I noticed them in the cave.

"What happened to my arm?" I ask, voice raspy. Taking in the room, it's only the three of us, the fireplace stoked with wood. "Where's Lei?"

"She's fine." Hana nudges Alaric to the side. "What did you do out there, Freya? In the cloud? How did you stop it?"

I blink at her. "I... I didn't do anything."

Her jaw tenses. "You need to tell me the truth."

"I am. I thought if I could find that cave I'd be able to stop it, but I don't remember making it there."

"She's telling the truth, Hana," Alaric says before she can press me further.

Hana's expression is tinged with irritation. "What do you remember, then?"

I blink at the space between the two of them, the memories rushing through me. My heart picks up as I think of Lei again, of Killian and Casimir. They were right there, so real. I squeeze my eyes shut.

"Maybe she could use some water," Alaric says to Hana. She meets his gaze, a silent conversation passing between them. Reluctantly, she nods and moves to leave the room. I watch her go, keeping my eyes on the door even several minutes after it's closed.

"I thought you might feel more comfortable without her here," Alaric says.

I shoot him a look. "More comfortable to tell you what she wants to know, you mean?"

He lets out a long breath, settling on the chair by the fire. The light creates shadows on his face, blue eyes seeming darker under the orange.

He shifts his chair closer. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"So you can tell Hana?"

"So I can help you." I stare at the ground, gritting my teeth together. "I know you don't want to hurt anybody, and you didn't," he says, voice softer. "But if we don't understand what happened this morning, then it might happen again. And it could be worse."

"Isn't that what Hana wants?"

"Not like this morning, no."

"She wants to control the cloud, me. This morning she couldn't control."

He doesn't deny what I've said, and he doesn't bother defending it, either. I shake my head and look away, trying not to feel disappointed by his carelessness towards her detrimental plan.

"Lei and I had an argument," I admit, "I was emotional. And then the cloud came and I knew it was because of me. I tried to look for the cave. I felt like if I could just find it, I'd be able to stop the cloud."

I can still feel the rain pelting my face, and hear the groan of the wind. Clasping my hands, I avert his gaze, staring at the patchwork quilt over my legs. "You were there. In the cloud. You were telling me I had to run, that there were infected around and then... then something attacked you." I pause, glancing up to meet his eye, trying to rid my mind of the image of Killian lurching over me. "That wasn't real, was it?"

He shakes his head.

"I thought I was going to die and then..."

"Then what?"

I flick my eyes towards him.

"Freya," he says softly. "You can trust me."

I shake my head. There's a warmth in his gaze that makes me want to trust him, but the wariness inside of me warns me away. "I found my anchor," I say, deciding to leave Samu from the story. It feels too close, too dangerous. "When I woke up, I was in the cave with you and Lei."

He leans back in the chair, eyes drawing to the floor. I take the moment to stare at my arm again, twisting it around. The black markings wrap around my forearm like chains, a stark contrast to the winter paleness of my skin.

"I heard you talking about my arm," I say, "before I woke up." He shifts, rolling his shoulders back. Holding my arm up, I stare at the marks. "What is it?"

"I don't know."

"Honesty works both ways, Alaric. How can you possibly expect me to tell you the truth if you're keeping things from me."

"I am telling you the truth," he says, meeting my eyes. "I don't know why they're there, or even how. I've never experienced something like that before."

I swallow the lump in my throat. A chill crawls down the length of my spine. "It isn't good, is it?"

"No." His jaw clenches. "I don't think it is."

Casimir

The sun has barely risen by the time we set off. Sanaa and Killian ride atop a large bay mare. I find myself sharing a gray stallion with Jaycee, one of the deserters Trina spared for the mission. The rest travel by foot and will be on standby only if required. It will take them a day longer, but the reinforcements are appreciated nonetheless. And resources within the deserters are scarce as it is.

I'd forgotten the feeling of riding horseback. The wind as it rushes by you, the trees merely a blur. Thankfully, growing up in the fields in Veymaw, I spent my fair share of time around the work horses.

But bolting through the forest at top speeds, feeling the horse's powers, its muscles beneath you, is an indescribable feeling. Sanaa and Killian rise ahead of us, their mare kicking up dust and dirt.

By the time we got back from visiting Myers, it was already morning. Nobody suspected either of us had ever left. Both of Killian's guards left the cave with tired, confused eyes.

I decided not to ask how Killian managed to avert them.

Unsurprisingly, Killian wasn't interested in discussing our discussion with Myers. Since he stormed back, he was all action, unconcerned by any type of conversation.

We ride through most of the morning, only stopping in the afternoon to let the horses rest. My knees quiver briefly as I drop to the ground, running a hand down the length of the horse's neck.

"I'll take him to the stream nearby," Jaycee says, reaching for his reins. "He'll be thirsty."

I nod in confirmation, not missing the cold undertone in her voice. Younger than me, I never had much to do with Jaycee growing up. Unlike some of the other deserters, she holds no loyalty to me. It makes me wonder if Trina sent her because of that.

As she heads off, I glance over to the others over my shoulder. Sanaa takes a skull from her flask, offering it to Killian.

"I see you two snuck off this morning," she comments, eyeing me sideways. "Midnight rendezvous?"

Killian tosses me a contrived sad glance. "I don't think I'm really his type. He continually opposes me.""

"We went to see Myers," I say with a roll of my eyes.

Sanaa's brows pull together and she turns to Killian. "You didn't say."

"Because it wasn't important," he says. "He didn't tell us anything useful."

Sanaa frowns but doesn't comment. She reaches for the horse's reins, pulling the mare in the same direction Jaycee disappeared. I watch Killian as he runs a hand over the horse's back.

"I get not telling Trina, but her? You don't trust her?" I ask.

"I trust Sanaa with my life."

"Then why keep the secret?"

"I said I trust her with my life," he reiterates, meeting my gaze with a steely one of my own. "Myers isn't the only one who would want to destroy the cloud, at whatever cost."

I watch him closely, remembering the way he held Myers against the wall with a fury that could only be real. I've never seen him lose his composure like that. Not once in the time that I've known him.

"I know you don't think highly of me, Casimir, and perhaps you have reasons for that. But now you and I both know a way to end the cloud once and for all."

The grey sky doesn't let much sun through, but whatever rays penetrate the clouds seem to highlight the sharp look in his eye as he holds my gaze.

"What's your point?"

"If you keep that secret, then you're just as selfish as I am."

Before I can respond, the soft clicking of the horses' hooves rounds the corner, appearing in the line of trees. Killian goes back to his bag, as if we'd never even spoken.

You and I both know a way to end the cloud once and for all.

The following thought rings clear in my mind: And yet neither of us will do it.