What is right to be done cannot be done too soon. -- Jane Austen

Chapter 9.

To Cherish and to Hold.

Carol was feeling a little feverish, but she didn't want to accept the fact that she could be ill. She was only tired. They had come to Lea Hurst two days prior and poor Florence had collapsed right at the doorstep. Mr. and Mrs. Nightingale had of course been terribly worried, but even in their concern for their daughter they had welcomed her little homeless friend and made sure she was comfortable. Carol had slept for nearly a day and had only woke up in the evening. She had taken a little supper and gone straight back to bed and slept for another twelve hours. Now she had gotten up and dressed and was writing her sister a proper letter. She had asked Mrs. Nightingale to send her family a note, informing them of her arrival at Lea Hurst. There had been no word from them and Carol had decided to write herself. She had just pulled out the paper when a knock was heard on the door.

"Carol," it was Mrs. Nightingale, "there is a gentleman at the door asking to see you. I told him you were not feeling well and for him to come another time, but he is very persistent. I do not know if you will want to see him, but here is his card." She handed Carol a rectangular little piece of paper. Carol took it and her heart skipped a beat when she read: Major Eric Carrywith.

"Oh, it is Major Carrywith asking to see me?" she asked in a hurried voice.

"Yes, I only didn't know if you would want to see him, after well, your mother informed me of..." Mrs. Nightingale's voice trailed off, but Carol understood.

"No, no, I wish to see him very much. I will see him right now!" Carol stood up and brushed her dress. "How do I look?" she asked Mrs. Nightingale. "No." she suddenly stated before Mrs. Nightingale had a chance to reply. "Do not answer that question. Do you know if he has his sight back...no, don't answer that either. I don't know which would be worse, the fact that he can't see me, or the fact that he can." Carol was very self-conscious of the amount of weight she had lost, and the sacks under her eyes, and the hands that looked like they belonged to a washer woman. In the hospital she hadn't minded, but now, with Eric waiting in the hall, she hated her appearance. Taking a deep breath she followed Mrs. Nightingale to the breakfast room.

Eric was sitting nervously in a chair and rose when they came in. Carol noticed he was dressed in full uniform, his cap tucked under his arm and the saber at his side. The brown hair had grown back and the thin little moustache had returned as well. His dark brown eyes met hers and Carol felt the heat rise to her face. His eyes weren't staring past her as they had done in the hospital; they were staring straight into her. This could only mean one thing. Carol's heart leapt for joy when she realized that Eric really could see again. How wonderful to have him looking at her like that again, even if she did feel very self conscious about her appearance.

Eric gave a little bow. "Lady Winther," he said in a reserved voice, but Carol hardly heard him.

"I told you it would return," she stated, casting all formalities aside. "I told you it wasn't permanent! Have you had your sight for long?"

"That depends on what you mean by sight," Eric replied, resuming his seat once Carol had perched on the edge of the sofa. Mrs. Nightingale took her own chair in the corner of the room, determined not to leave Carol without a chaperone. Neither Eric nor Carol noticed this action and were sure they were alone.

"About half a year after I returned home," Eric began, "I began seeing spots when the light was strong. As the months progressed the spots began to take shape and slowly the darkness was replaced by a thick fog. Though not able to see things in the distance, when an object was near I could discern what it was. Time continued to pass and the fog began to clear. Only do not think it was an easy process, my eyes stung, my head hurt, and I couldn't bear any form of direct light. I was forced to stay in a dark room for many days and had more than one doctor prodding and poking me. Even now the fog hasn't cleared up all the way and my eyesight remains a little blurry, not to mention strong light hurts my eyes, but Dr. Kurt assures me it is only a matter of time before I should be have my full sight again."

Carol's joy was overshadowed with a stroke of worry. "Eric, it is daytime and the light is strong, does this mean you are in discomfort now?"

"Perhaps a little," Eric chuckled. "I do have a mild headache and as you see, I sit away from the window to keep my eyes from stinging to strongly."

"And yet you still came out here? How foolish of you! What if you were to swoon and faint from the headache?"

Eric cleared his throat a little. "Carol, I am not really the sort who swoons or faints from headaches. I have endured even worse pain and kept my senses about me. Besides, a headache is but a small price to pay to see you again." He once more looked at her so earnestly, that Carol had to lower her gaze to keep from going red in the face.

"You could have waited till you felt better and I looked less frightful," she mumbled. "Right now there isn't anything flattering about me."

Eric shook his head. "No, I wanted to see you as you are now. I wanted to see you as you were at the hospital. You have no idea how frustrating it was to hear you, to know you were there, and not be able to even catch a glimpse of your face. I wanted to know you as the men there knew you, as the kind soul you were, quietly going about and caring for them. When Miss Ann informed my sister of your return, I came straightway, even though the doctor wasn't thrilled with the idea. He is still cautious about too much light, but Betsy said she would keep an eye on me and he gave in. She is sitting in the carriage right now, for I wished to see you alone."

"You got all dressed up and upset your doctor simply because you wanted to look at me?" Carol shook her head in concerned disapproval.

"There was one other thing," Eric said, shifting nervously. "At the hospital I promised you that if my sight would return I would give an answer to all your questions. I am a man of my word and here I am. Is there anything you wish to ask me?"

Carol played with the lace on her sleeve "I only wanted to know if you...if you...if you were still in the opinion that it was disgraceful to have a nurse for a wife."

There was a pause.

"For society it certainly is something unusual," Eric said at last, "and you know how in society that which is unusual is thought of as unfitting and that which is unfitting is thought to be a disgrace."

Carol tried to keep her breathing steady.

"But I am not the man of society I once was," Eric continued. "For me unusual and disgraceful are no longer one and the same."

Carol dared lift her eyes and look at him. He faltered for a few seconds then haltingly reached into his pocket. Carol gasped when he pulled out the former engagement ring.

"Once, two years ago, you told me to find this ring a new owner," he told her. "I came home and told my father what had happened. To my surprise he sided with you and he scolded me as one would scold a school boy. He said my desire to be all society wanted had made me blind to true values. I didn't believe him and was quite upset. Then I went off to war and as I looked death in the face, I began to revaluate my life and my values. But it was not until God took away my sight that I truly understood what a fool I had been. Cut off from the world by a wall of darkness, I had a chance to view the world as I had never viewed it before. I realized how in fighting to keep something so fickle, I had lost the most priceless treasure in the world. Carol, I cannot find this ring another owner, even if I were to search the entire world. I could try this ring on all the fairest ladies of Empire; it will not fit anyone but you. I know you wish to be a nurse, I know you feel it is your calling, and I promise to support you, as I should have from the start. Perhaps the idea of marriage no longer appeals to you, and if you should not want to renew the engagement I will understand. Yet, it would give me the greatest honor," here to Carol's surprise Eric knelt down in front of her, "if you will let me look after you, let me cherish and adore you, let me care for you as a husband ought to care for his wife."

Carol could feel the tears slowly beginning to trickle out of her eyes. "Eric, when I returned the ring to you, I did it in a moment of angry passion. You were not expecting me to so suddenly depart to a dirty hospital that had bad reputation and I dumped the news on your head like a bucket of cold water. Later I regretted I had not handled the situation with more delicacy, but now I see God has used it all for good. This war was something truly dreadful, but God can take even the most horrible circumstances and turn it into something beautiful. I believe we truly discovered our love in the middle of pain and suffering. We put it to the test and it came out the purer and stronger." Carol reached out and stroked Eric's cheek. "I love you, Eric, and it is with an open heart I renew the engagement I once broke."

It was as though a heavy weight had been lifted off of Eric's soul and he pressed Carol to his chest, doing his best to keep the tears out of his eyes. Dr. Kurt had strictly warned against them. Carol, who had no fear of tears, wept softly on his breast, thanking God that the man she loved had been returned to her.

"The carriage is outside, Carol," Eric whispered in her ear. "We can be wed this very day and I could take you home with me."

Carol pulled away from him, blinking in surprise, "marry you...now?"

He gently brushed the tears from her cheek. "It is not right for you to be left like this, with no place to call your own. Let me be your family, Carol, let me give you a home where you can rest from the cares you have carried for so long."

"But, but who will marry us on such a short notice?"

"Ah, have you forgotten my youngest brother is a minister?" Eric smiled. "He will unite us as man and wife and then I will take you to Lammle Hall."

"Lammle Hall? To your father's house?"

"Yes, let it be your house as well. My father and mother have always been known to favor these new ideas; they supported your decision even when I didn't. We will reside there until my sight has been completely restored and I receive my new orders."

Carol felt at a little loss and cast a glance around the room. She caught sight of Mrs. Nightingale, who gave vigorous nod of her head. Such an opportunity should not be lost! Encouraged by Mrs. Nightingale's approval, Carol turned back to Eric.

"If you will but give me ten minutes, I shall pack my things," she informed him. Eric was so happy, he didn't quite know how to contain his joy and he would have kissed Carol right there and then, but she coughed a little and her eyes pointed to Mrs. Nightingale. Realizing they had had an audience all this time, Eric cleared his throat nervously and rose from his knees. Mrs. Nightingale, however, was very pleased with the way everything had turned out. She waited for Carol to depart then came over to Eric.

"Miss Winther is in delicate condition and will need a fair deal of nursing to bring her back to health," she informed him.

"I am aware of this," Eric nodded his head. "I will place her under the care of my mother and sister, and our doctor shall be sent for if the need arises. Do not fear, Mrs. Nightingale, Miss Winther shall find a home with my family. They all love her dearly."

"And if you think it possible, try and get your father to use his influence on Lord Winther. That man has no right to treat his own daughter in such a manner, no matter how offended he is at her."

"We shall do all in our power to help reunite them," Eric assured.

***

Carol packed swiftly, there was little for her to take. She changed from the borrowed dress into her old traveling one. Florence was asleep and Carol could not say goodbye properly, but she wrote her a kind note, thanking her for everything and promising to visit when she had settled down. Once this was complete, Carol returned to Eric. They bid farewell to Mr. and Mrs. Nightingale and Carol thanked them for their generosity and kindness to her when she had nowhere to go. Mr. and Mrs. Nightingale in return wished them all the very best of happiness, and hoped Carol and Eric would both make a speedy recovery from their ailments. Then Eric led his bride to the carriage where his sister was impatiently waiting. They told the driver to take them to the Lammle Parish where Eric Carrywith and Caroline Winther took the vow to cherish and to hold, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, till death did them part. Then Eric took his young wife to his father's house and their temporary home.

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Picture in the media section is actor Rupert Friend in the film The Young Victoria. He inspired the character of Eric Carrywith, and that's what I imagine the young officer to look like :)