(After getting lots of feedback by my awesome readers, I decided this story needed some more editing, therefore I've taken it down and am slowly editing each chapter and putting it up one by one. For those of you who have already read the story, don't be surprised if the chapters start appearing in your news feed. The story isn't changing much, just getting polished and reworked a little :) )

Dedicating this chapter to Davrielle, thanks so much for you imput on this chapter. You had a lot of good pointers and it helped me to look at it more critically and make it better and more understandable for the reader :)

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Our wretched species is so made that those who walk on the well-trodden path always throw stones at those who are showing a new road.--Voltaire

Chapter 1.

The Decision.

October 12th, 1854.

The London Times:

..it is with feelings of surprise and anger that the public will learn that no sufficient medical preparations have been made for the proper care of the wounded. Not only are there not sufficient surgeons--that, it might be urged, was unavoidable—not only are there no dressers and nurses--that might be a defect of system for which no one is to blame—but what will be said when it is known that there is not even linen to make bandages for the wounded? The greatest commiseration prevails for the suffering of the unhappy inmates of Scutari, and every family is giving sheets and old garments to supply their want. But, why could not this clearly foreseen event have been supplied?...It rests with the Government to make enquiries into the conduct of those who must have so greatly neglected their duty...

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Caroline Winther peeked into the large drawing room and saw her mother sitting in the corner, needlework in hand. She took a deep breath. "You can do this, Carol" she whispered to herself, "Mamma will understand, Mamma always understands." Comforted with this thought, Carol walked the drawing room and gave a little cough to announce her entry.

Elizabeth Winther glanced up and smiled at the sight of her eldest daughter. Caroline was nearly twenty years old, and was the pride and envy of society. A beautiful and accomplished young lady, she was filled with charm and grace, and more importantly, a good and caring heart. Mother and daughter shared a special bond, and Elizabeth had always been there to uphold and support her daughter. No matter what it had been, from annoying pranks played on Carol by her brother, or the unique desire to study nursing, Elizabeth had comforted and supported her child. Now, with the perceptiveness of a mother, Elizabeth could see Carol wished to share something with her once more.

"What is it you want, Caroline dearest?" Elizabeth asked, motioned for her daughter to sit down. "Don't be afraid to tell me. How can I help you."

Carol perched on an overstuffed chair and took a deep breath. "Mamma, you know how Florence has been asked by the secretary of war to travel to Scutari and help with the wounded there."

"I believe you mentioned it to me," Elizabeth nodded her head, "and what of it?"

"Well, she has asked me if I wished to accompany her, and I have accepted her offer."

The news took the elder Winther by such surprise, that for a moment all she could do was stare at Carol, eyes wide with disbelief. Of all the things Carol could have told her, she had never expected to hear something so...so...so ridiculous. There had to be some mistake, her daughter couldn't be serious. "Caroline Belle Winther, please tell me you are only pulling a practical joke," she sputtered at last.

Carol bit her lip, this was certainly not the reaction she had anticipated or hoped fr. If her mother was so upset by this news, what should she expect from her father? It was imperative that Carol convince her mother this was a good idea, she needed the support and good word of Elizabeth if she ever hoped to get Lord Winther to let her go. Perhaps she should have spoken to her mother first, then given Florence her answer, but somehow, when she had been conversing with her friend this morning, she hadn't even supposed her mother would disapprove. Mamma always approved, even when the rest of the world didn't. Of course this was a radical endevour, but it wasn't as though she was a little girl anymore, she was nearly twenty, and with Florence always there, Mamma wouldn't have any reason to worry.

"Mamma, I know this sounds very shocking, " she tried to reason with her mother, "but believe when I say I'm serious. Have you not read The Times? Don't you know what conditions the poor wounded men are in? Sidney Herbert himself asked Florence to go, it is a very noble task. To help the poor men. Florence is gathering a team of nurses, and it is a great honor to be asked to be one of them."

"Carol, I understand you want to help the men, but this is truly going too far."

"No, Mamma," Carol replied, the passion rising in her breast. Surely her mother understood that she just had to go, this was a chance she had been waiting for her entire life. "Mamma, I must do this, I have been waiting for such an opportunity ever since I started working with Florence. I don't want to just take care of old women as I have in the past, I want to work with someone who really needs me. I have already packed my bags and informed Florence I will come to her this evening. She needs me to help with the last minute arrangements."

"What arrangements?" Lord Richard Winther entered the room and interrupted the heated discussion between his wife and eldest daughter.

"Ah, Richard, thank goodness," Elizabeth turned to her husband for support. "Carol has gotten it into her head to join Miss Nightingale in traveling to Scutari to care for the wounded."

"Absolutely not!"

Carol cringed from those words. This was certainly not going in the direction she had hoped. She knew her father's tone of voice and understood the subject was closed to discussion as far as he was concerned. But Carol was a Winther, and that meant she was as stubborn as her father.

"Papa, please, I've been training under Florence for a long time now, I know I will be of great help. You all praised me when I pulled Eric through typhoid fever, and now he is fit as a fiddle and being sent to Turkey with the rest of his regiment."

"That, Carol, was a completely different situation. Eric is your betrothed, and it was only natural you should care for him. I will not have my daughter in a dirty, rotten barracks, surrounded by filthy, common soldiers. Carol, remember who you are. You are a woman of society, and society will not understand your motives."

"Society is out there complaining about the conditions of our wounded," Carol shot back, "and they should be happy at least someone is willing to go and do something."

"There are other women," Lord Winther replied, "you are not going and that is final. This is why I didn't want her associating with Miss Nightingale," he turned to his wife. "Now her head is filled with all sorts of nonsense. Your place, Carol, is at home, with your family. What will your future husband say when he hears of you silliness? He is traveling off to war soon, he will be here any moment to bid you farewell, and what do you think his reaction will be to the news you wish to drop on him."

Carol looked away. She hadn't thought of how she would present the news to Eric, and he would be here any moment. Oh, why was this all going so wrong?

"You are to take up the duties of wife, mother, and mistress of a household," Lord Winther continued his attacks, "not go galloping off on a silly notion."

"I will take up such duties in due time, Father," Carol argued, "but Eric and I have delayed our wedding until the war is over. What am I to do while he is gone? Idly stay home with nothing to do? Mamma, you understand, do you not?" Carol turned to her mother for support, but Elizabeth shook her head. She hadn't minded Carol going to a proper hospital for retired governesses, but traveling to a dirty place filled with rough brutes, this she could not consent.

"What I do understand, Carol," she admonished her daughter, "is that you could catch some dreadful disease there, and, what is worse, the men could take advantage of you."

"Mamma!" Carol rolled her eyes. What an imagination her mother had.

"Your mamma is right," Lord Winther put in, "You have no idea what sort of a place you are going to! What sort of people you will have to rub shoulders with. You have never dealt with the lower class, you are young and naïve; you wouldn't last a week in Scutari. Why put yourself through useless torture?"

The heated debate was interrupted by a knock on the door.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, milord," the maid said as she peeked in, "but Major Carrywith has come. He wishes to speak with Miss Winther."

"Ah, perhaps he can make you see reason," Lord Winther stated. "Carol, I refuse to let you go, it will bring disgrace to this entire family. If you wish to help, do it from home. Send donations, linen, clothing, and say your prayers in church!" Lord Winther motioned for his wife to follow him out of the room. At the doorway they met the young Major Carrywith.

"Eric, how good to see you," Lord Winther warmly said, shaking the major's hand. "Please use your influence on Carol. My hope rests with you." With that Lord and Lady Winther left the room. Eric looked at his bride with surprise as he came up to her. He kissed her hands tenderly before asking in an amused voice, "what was the old man talking about?"

Carol gazed into the deep brown eyes of the man she loved. Eric had always been understanding of her. He wasn't like her parents, filled with the old, outdated ideas of the past. Sir William Carrywith had brought his son up with many modern viewpoints, and this meant that the Eric would support her. Oh surely he would, he had too, he was her only hope now. Taking a deep breath, she explained the situation to her betrothed.

"Florence Nightingale has asked me to come with her to Scutari and help care for the wounded. I have accepted her ."

"WHAT?" Eric hoped he hadn't heard right.

"Oh, Eric, do not look at me in such a manner," Carol chided, "I was sure of all people you would understand. Haven't you read the papers? Something must be done; everyone was saying so, even you."

"But...but...but not by you," The Major was still trying to comprehend all his future wife was telling him. He had come here to bid her a tender farewell and assure her that he would return alive and unharmed, not expecting to hear her tell him she planned to turn military nurse.

"Why not me?" Carol sighed as she brought up her argument again. "If the French can have their Sisters of Charity, what is stopping England? And if England is to have nurses, why cannot I be one of them? Am I any worse than any of the other young ladies who will go with Florence?"

"You are not worse, Carol, you are above them. The hospital is no place for you. You are a refined young lady, you must remain at home. Haven't you read enough to understand what horrible conditions you will have to face? Do you know what kind of men they are? I do, I have an entire regiment of them. They are all low class commoners, the lot of them."

"Eric, do not speak of the soldiers in such a manner," Carol was starting to get angry. "Those men are giving their lives for Queen and country! You are being sent off to war to fulfill your duty for England, I wish to perform mine as well."

"Nursing is not your duty, Carol."

"But I wish to make it my duty," Carol tried to explain, "I wish to be a nurse, like Florence is. And not just for the war, I want to make it my life's work."

Eric blinked at Carol, "your LIFE's work? I...you...we have been engaged for a year and I am only hearing about this now?"

Carol groaned inwardly, now everything had just gone from bad to worse? The plan had been Eric would come back from battle and she would explain it all to him when he wasn't burdened with thoughts of war. Now it had all come out at the wrong time and place, Oh well, she would just have to make the best of the situation.

"Why else would I have been spending so much time in Florence's hospital?" Carol attempted to defend her yearlong silence, "I should have thought my recent actions made it obvious."

"I assure you they did not. No one in your family even suspected that is what you had in mind. What of your upcoming duties as wife?"

"I don't see why I can't be nurse and wife."

"And I can't see you being both!"

"Eric..." Carol began but Eric held up his hand

"Carol, right now is not the time or place to discuss this. When I return from the war, we will talk and try to sort out this ridiculous idea. For now, please, can you just settle down and listen to the voice of reason."

"Oh Eric," Carol looked away in disappointment, "I was sure of all people you would understand."

"I understand that you are not going to let some foolish fancy make you throw all caution to the wind. Carol, those hospitals are filled with women of a terrible reputation; I don't want whispers traveling around that you are among them. You are a young lady; nursing is an occupation for the working class, and you know as well as I do the two classes do not mix. I don't want society gossiping how I have a working woman for a wife. It would disgrace all of our families, it would disgrace me. If you wish to marry me, you must give up this silly fancy of yours."

Carol felt insulted and hurt by his words. "Is it really so disgraceful to have nurse for a wife?"

"It is as far as I am concerned."

"Well, if that is the case, Major Carrywith," Carol's voice became crisp, "please allow me to spare you from such embarrassment." As she spoke, she removed her engagement ring. "I suggest you find this ring a new owner." With those words she placed the ring into his palm. Eric stared at in disbelief.

"You...you are breaking our engagement?" he stammered with a nervous chuckle, "Surely you cannot be serious."

"Can I not now?" Carol retorted. "Did you really think I would put marrying you over the call of nursing?"

"I...ah," Eric was having trouble getting the words out. He had known the woman for nearly three years now, they had been engaged for a twelfth month, and now she was just throwing it all to the wind? And in exchange for what? For being a nurse? "Any woman in her right mind would never put nursing above a good marriage." He stated at last.

"Florence did," Carol replied, "and she is none the worse off for it. I have made up my mind about what I am going to do with my life and no one can stop me. Not Father, not Mother, not society...and not you."

Eric let out a choked cough when he realized that Carol was dead serious. She really was breaking with him to become a nurse. The look in his eyes was enough to break Carol's heart, but she kept her face firmly set. "Farewell, Major Carrywith, I wish you safety as you travel to the war." She curtsied and turned to leave, but Eric caught her by the arm.

"Carol, you...you...you cannot do this! Not to me, not to us. What of all we planned and prepared? Are you just going to throw it all away?"

She turned to face him, her eyes growing sad. "I have made my decision, Eric. I hoped I wouldn't have to choose between being your wife and my calling, but you have left me with no other option. If I cannot be both, then I will be nurse." She gently freed herself from his grasp and left. Going to her room, Carol took the little bag she had prepared with so much excitement and joy and with a sigh went through all her belongs. Convinced she hadn't forgotten anything she shut the bag and had Martha helped her into her coat.

"Goodbye, Martha," she kissed her maid.

"Oh Miss, think of what you are doing," Martha sobbed. "The master, he will be so mad and the mistress will be heartbroken. What about Miss Ann? What will she think of her dear sister leaving home in such a manner? And Master Richard? He will return from Cambridge and discover you gone, what shall we tell him, how shall we explain that his sister turned her back on her family and ran off to some foreign country?"

"All will be well, Martha, all will be well," Carol soothed and went down the stairs. Lord Winther caught sight of her and angrily followed.

"Carol, I thought I said I forbid it, Eric forbids it, we all forbid it."

"I'm not asking for your permission, Father," Carol firmly replied. "I had hoped you would give it, but since you do not, I shall carry on without it."

"Carol, wait," Eric hurried after her as well, "Carol, please, please don't do this."

His voice was so broken and so desperate, Carol could feel the tears whelming up in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Eric," she softly said. Her hand reached for the door handle, but the words of her father arrested her.

"Carol, if you walk out that door, you are no daughter of mine."

Carol slowly turned her ehad and looked her father in the eyes. "Father, whether I walk through that door or not, I remain a daughter of England, and that is title enough for me." With that she opened the door and with a last look at broken-hearted Eric, walked out into the street.

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Picture in the media section is In the Orangery by Charles Perugini. That's what I imagine Carol to look like.