Willow's room is bustling with activity, maids scurrying about with ribbons, brushes, little heeled shoes- it's chaotic. I stand in the doorway, afraid to even step over the threshold.

But one of the maids, a young girl with chestnut hair and a sweet face, spots me and gestures me in with a frantic little motion.

"Thank the gods you're here," she sighs. "Lady Willow was debating all morning on whether you'd change your mind or not. She'll be so relieved."

I wish I can reassure her that Willow's worry was unfounded but the truth is, she knows me too well. I'd been debating all week, fighting against my excitement to try and convince myself maybe it was a bad idea. But in the end, I need to be here for Willow. And I know I would forever regret missing my first ball.

The maid leads me into Willow's bedroom, where things are thankfully much calmer.

Willow is seated before a mirror, an older maid silently brushing out her silver blonde hair. She catches sight of me in the mirror and grins wildly. A tight part in my chest loosens at the sight; it looks like it would be a good day for Willow, none of her snarling or black moods.

"Are you ready to get swept off of your feet by handsome Captain DeGray?" Willow asks with a wicked smile, saying his name in over-exaggerated tones.

"Shush, you brat." I flick her shoulder as she snickers, then perch on the edge of her plush bed. "I told you last night, we're going as friends."

"Does he know that?"

I scowl at her innocent expression, resisting the urge to throw a pillow at her head. But her words twist in my stomach, nervousness a caged animal pacing in my chest.

Willow reaches for my hand, all teasing gone from her face. "Perhaps just see how tonight goes," she says softly, always too good at reading me.

We sit in silence for a minute, until Willow instructs Dee, the young maid who had brought me in, to take me to the bathing room. She gives her swift instructions and I roll my eyes; someone is going to make a bossy little queen.

Willow's bathing room is larger than our shared bedroom back home, all gleaming faucets and cool marble. It looks pristine and cold.

Dee has me soak in a steaming hot bath full of perfumes and oils. Despite the overwhelming scents making my head spin, the hot water feels so good on my sore muscles that I can't help but relax. Perhaps I should start visiting Willow more often just to use her bath.

I soak alone for a while, then Dee comes back in to scrub me. Being naked in front of a stranger, let alone being washed by them, isn't something I'm exactly comfortable with. But she is quick and efficient, chatting to distract me. She manages to get weeks worth of grime from under my fingernails and I look at her with new respect.

I feel shiny and clean, emerging from the tub like a new and improved version of myself. One who smells like flowers and has satin skin.

She lets me dry myself off after, with a towel so fluffy and soft that it doesn't feel real. When I'm done, she wraps me in a silk robe, smooth against my warm, tender body.

Someone placed a second chair next to Willow's at her vanity and I sit in it, Dee immediately brushing out my thick, dark hair. The feeling makes me hum in contentment, her nimble fingers gently undoing tangles and massaging my scalp.

"Will Hale be coming to the ball tonight?" Willow asks innocently. "I bet he'd look amazing all cleaned up and in fancy clothes."

"You've never even seen him!" I exclaim, but she just laughs. "And no, he will not. I don't think he even considering going."

Thinking about it, it is weird that he isn't coming. I would think, at the very least, he would want to spend time with Sebastian. Maybe people want to talk to him about his family and he tries to avoid it. Either way, he wouldn't come without telling me.

My stomach sinks. That actually sounds like something he would do. Show up out of no where and laugh at the look of surprise on my face. Then tease me about being dressed like a lady. Gods, that sounds exactly like him.

My insides are twisting but I take a deep breath. Even if he shows up, it doesn't matter. Tonight is for Willow and Sebastian, and for me to sneak away and get into that tomb.

Willow must see my face pale. "What's wrong? Do you think he's coming?"

I shake my head mutely, not sure what to say.

She looks incredulous. "Well, I'll make sure you look extra beautiful, just in case he shows up."

Something about her words rub at me. Going through the effort to make myself look especially beautiful for a boy who might not even show up and probably wouldn't care. And believing I even need to go the extra step to impress him.

"No," I say, sitting up straighter. "Make me extra beautiful. For me."

For young Talia who dreamed of royal balls. For old Talia, who could look back and relish in the memory. For myself now, wanting to walk into that ball with my head held high and feel worthy of being at Willow's side.

No man's opinion will ever dictate how beautiful I feel. I'll wear whatever dress is my favorite and walking into that ball knowing that I'm pretty enough to belong. And if Hale is lucky enough to be there and see me, then so be it.

But I would not be dressing with him in mind. Or any other man.

_______

In the end, I didn't even see all of the dresses to choose from. Willow must see something in the stubborn set of my shoulders, in the way I'm holding my head high, because she calls over Dee and mutters in her ear. The maid dips into a curtsy and scurries off to speak with another maid, both of them coming to stand by me.

"Do you trust me?" Willow asks, turning her blue eyes to me.

"Yes?" I reply hesitantly, not sure where she is going with this. But I see no sign of mischievousness in her face, just a small, warm smile.

"I want you to let Dee do your hair and makeup. And then I want you to put on a dress I picked for you, without seeing it first."

My stomach flutters nervously. "And why can't I see it first?"

"Because you'll say no if you do." Willow grins at my face. "Relax. I promise you'll love it, you just need to see yourself in it first. I promise, it's the perfect dress for my bold, beautiful sister."

She says the words seriously, like she means them. Bold and beautiful. I want to be those things. She must have seen the desire in my face.

"Okay," I agree and she squeals. I push away images of huge, pink dresses with ruffles and flounces. Willow has to know me better than that.

Dee takes that as her cue to start, gently brushing me hair back while the other young maid kneels in front of me with a stick of kohl. I close my eyes at her command and drift off, enjoying the gentle tug of my hair and cool fingers on my face.

Once they are done and Willow shrieks at me to not look in the mirror and ruin the surprise, Dee disappears.

Seconds later, she's back holding a gown of silver.

I resist the urge to fall to my knees and thank the gods it's not pink.

"Close your eyes," Willow commands but I just stick my tongue out, ignoring her.

Dee and the other maid pull it slowly over my head, careful to not touch my hair or face. They pull it down around my body and I immediately notice a problem.

"Where's the rest of it?" I yelp and Willow laughs. Cool air nips at my bare skin. At lots of bare skin.

Dee fastens a few things around the back, gently tugging and smoothing, then steps back to let me spin towards the mirror.

The dress is more gorgeous on.

Made of silver silk and a light, gossamer looking material, it looks like starlight. Tight in the bust and flared at the hips, it has subtle breathtaking swirls of diamonds making their way up from the bottom. The color makes the gray of my mixed eyes pop, the dip in the front hinting at a chest I'd barely realized was there. I twist a little, watching the light catch the dress, shining with icy blue undertones.

It's scandalously revealing, my entire arms uncovered. The front flows up from the dipped neckline, ending in little fluttering cap sleeves. But the back- the back of the dress is almost completely bare. From my lower back up to my shoulders, all I see is pale, naked skin.

Anyone who dances with me will have to touch my bare skin. I shiver at the thought.

Dee left my hair down in big, loose, wild looking curls, the front pieces pulled back into a braided crown. The brush of my hair against my exposed shoulders feels extra sensitive.

My eyes are lined with black kohl, edged in silver to match my gown. My eyes look like they're huge and glowing. And my lips are a glossy red, bright scarlet against my pale complexion.

The overall effect makes my breath catch.

Bold and beautiful indeed.

"Before you say no-" Willow starts, but I shake my head, cutting her off.

"I'll wear it," I breathe, feeling empowered as I gaze back at myself in the mirror.

My nerves have vanished. Tonight, I can play the part of Willow's older, daring sister in a scandalous dress and no reputation to ruin anyways. People might titter and talk but tomorrow I'll be back in the barracks in my tunic and pants, fighting in the mud.

"You look breathtaking, my lady," Dee says, helping me step into delicate silver slippers.

Willow's lips are just curled in satisfaction and I know it's taking all of her willpower to not rub in the fact that she was right.

"I just need one more thing," I say, heading to the bathing room when my clothes are still piled on the floor.

When I come back, Dee is finishing fastening Willow into her gown and I can't stop the gasp from escaping my lips.

If I'm dressed to make people's jaws drop, she's dressed to make them fall on their knees in worship.

She looks ethereal in her white gown, like a goddess come down to mingle with mortals. With a high neck and full lace sleeves, her dress radiates a sort of lovely innocence. Soft, subtle makeup and light pink lips only add to the effect. Woven throughout her blonde hair are little white flowers.

"I'm starting to think you dressed me like this just to make you look better," I tease, truly stunned at how beautiful she looks. Like a queen. Like a goddess.

But then she giggles and she's my sister again. "Funny, I was just thinking that having me next to you will just make you look more mysterious and alluring. I'll be your accessory for the night."

We laugh together. I'm searching for the words, wanting to tell her just how stunning she looks, how she looks like Mother. But the words taste false in my mouth, the memory of Mother's face just a blur.

"I know," she says gently. "She would be proud of both of us."

There's nothing to say after that so I take her arm and walk her to the door, feeling like this might be the only time we'll get to go to a ball together as just sisters.

By the next one, it might be the queen and her guard.