34 - the one where she is unsettled
Taara was happy that she could finally go out. However, she hadn't resumed going to work. She was considering quitting the job and finding a new one. She was still weighing the pros and cons of doing so. She had realized that her life was much positive owing to absence from work. She hadn't talked to anyone about it. Right now she was waiting for Aayush to pick her up. She was finally going to the Marine Drive. She got up from the couch when she noticed his car on the lane outside through the window. She quickly told her mother that she was leaving. She walked steadily to the door putting her scarf around her neck. She wouldn't step out of her house without a scarf. She made it a point to wrap the scarf around her face so that only her eyes were visible.
"Hey," his soft voice greeted her outside her house as she climbed down the few stairs.
"Hi!" She greeted back smiling. It had been eight days to that little conflict they had had over dinner. Neither of them had brought it up again. They had gone back to the normal sarcasm, and mockery filled conversations both on text and in person. He still made it a point to visit her every evening. Though from past few days, he didn't stay long like before. He was gone in a matter of twenty or so.
She sat comfortably on the passenger seat, he passed her a smile and shut the door, then walked around to the driver seat's door. "Someone looks very excited today."
"Why should I not be?"
He chuckled driving. While she busied herself in wrapping the scarf around her face. The healing peeled skin look still worse on her cheek. He observed her from the corner of his eyes. "You don't have to do that you know."
"Please. I look like a ugly duckling. Would you like to be seen with a lady with scarred face. People will stare and be like the guy is mad." She spoke as she fixed the knot behind her head.
"I don't give a damn to what people say or think."
"Mr. Aayush Vikrant Rathore you have a repo to keep!"
"Nothing matters. You should accept yourself, Taara. It's like taking a step towards self acceptance. These small things in life help us become stronger."
"You're not the one with a marred cheek. I am. It's easy to say, Aayush. Step into my shoes and you'll know." She looked away outside the window. Aayush fell into thoughtful silence. The walk to their regular spot was done in silence.
"I will be back." Saying that he walked away to buy their usual beverages. Taara blinked away her tears in silence. Was it so easy for him to say? She was sick and tired of listening to his so called piece of advice. She was hard on herself? Not a chance, she loved herself. She did not accept herself? He was clearly blind to have not noted how well she embraced what she was.
"Here." He whispered sitting beside her passing her the cup of tea.
She took it without meeting his eyes. She could feel his gaze on her. She ignored it and sipped her beverage. Her eyes looking at the far away waves. An easy silence fit itself between them as both stared at the waves lost in their own thoughts.
"I am sorry, I should.." he began minutes after he had finished his coffee.
"Accepted." Taara spoke cutting him off. He forced a smile, offended at how she didn't even hear him out. He turned away, looking at the waves again. He had never let his anger, ego, stubbornness or anything negative reach Taara. She was precious to him. But, lately, her attitude hurt him. Could she not see? Small things did make a difference to him. It did hurt him when she didn't hear him out. It did hurt him when she didn't see that even if he argued with her it was for her sake. It did hurt when she did not consider sharing what she felt with him.
The remnant of the evening was spent in silence and so was the drive back home. Each was waiting for the other to break the silence, neither did until Aayush finally remembered he had to tell her something. "Taara,"
"Hmm." She responded glad that he was finally killing the silence.
"I am leaving for Pune tomorrow. It's a two day business trip." He spoke focusing on the road ahead.
Taara was disappointed but she didn't let that reflect on her face. "Oh, that's nice." He nodded looking ahead.
* * *
It had been two days, and neither had called or texted. Aayush was annoyed. Why should he always be the one to make amends and ease out things? She was always adamant. He stared at his phone's screen. Not a message? Was her stubbornness more important to her than him? Irked he placed his phone, screen-down on the table. Impatiently he tapped his feet, his jaw muscles clenched. Did she even care for what they had between them?
Aayush didn't know what to do. He wanted to meet her, see her. But a part of him did not want to be the first to call or text. A day went by. Aayush was annoyed. He was missing her terribly and yet a part of him was angry at her. There was no call or message from her. A week passed, but none of them took that one step to get in touch.
"Taara, where's Aayush? It's been more than a week I haven't seen or heard about him from you. Off to some country again, is it?" Her mother asked stirring the coffee while Taara was focused on quickly finishing her breakfast. The mere mention of his name left her unsettled. He should be back in the city, by now. Not a call or a message.
"I don't know. He's a busy man!" Taara spoke nonchalantly her gaze fixed on the newspaper she had been skimming through.
"You guys fought or something?" Her mother asked analyzing her face. Most definitely, she was pissed.
"No." Taara answered flipping the page.
"Taara, What is it?" Her mother asked, her act of stirring forgotten.
"Mumma, please, don't make a big deal out of it. He's busy so am I." Taara muttered folding the newspaper.
Manisha stared at her daughter. Something was unquestionably bothering her. "It's always good to talk it out than ignoring." She stated staring at her cup of coffee.
The waft of coffee that hit Taara's nostrils made her more irritable. Every freaking thing was reminding her of him. For all she knew, he probably didn't even bother thinking about her. She stared at her mother momentarily before rising. "Mind wishing me for my interview?"
Her mother grinned. "All the best." A momentary smile made it's way up Taara's cheeks.
"Thank you!" She mumbled giving her mother a hug. Hoping she would get the job Taara walked out with the scarf around her face. Trying to bury the thoughts about that one annoying man in the depths of her mind.
* * *
Taara had thought about it thrice and then again. It had been two weeks now that she hadn't seen him. No doubt that she still was mad at him. Mad at him for not calling or texting, for blandly ignoring her presence. She waited and waited but there was nothing from him. She decided to talk about it to someone. Her mom had been asking about him but she avoided the topic. The fact was she was scared. Scared that a talk with her mother would only result in more distance from Aayush. Thus, here she was standing outside her father's office room.
She couldn't help but smile remembering the day she had met Aayush at the place. She looked around immediately, just in case coincidence happened once again. Her face fell realizing it was such a stupid expectation. Minutes later her father's secretary informed he that he was free. She walked in taking a deep breath.
Mr.Mittal watched her daughter with a thoughtful expression. "So why don't you make the damn call?" He spoke after listening to the entire matter.
"And let him win? I am going to look desperate if I call him or text him." She muttered folding her arms.
"Or you'll look like the one who is not childish to let go something that matters to her for the sake of her ego." He spoke.
"I will be feeding his male ego, Papa. He is then going to always expect me to be the one to give in. He..no not happening. If he really cares he should call."
"Maybe he thinks the same way," Mr. Mitall suggested.
"He was the one who left for the business trip. He should call."
"That's a part of his profession, Taara. Maybe he wants to see if you really care to know how he's doing, where he is when he is away! Men need emotional assurances too!"
"Did he talk to you?" Taara asked after a few brief minutes of silence.
Her father relaxed back into his chair. "That's not the point."
"Did he?"
Mr. Mittal sighed nodding affirmatively. "Wow, so he's been complaining to you ..."
"He called to ask if you were okay. If your leg was doing fine. If you had resumed work." Her father spoke curting her off, meeting her eyes. He took a deep breath leaning forward on the table.
"Taara, relationships aren't easy because we only expect and not understand the other. He is a nice man. But you need to understand that men don't just have ego which I am sure your mother has put into your head. They have feelings, insecurities and need emotional assurance too."
Taara lowered her gaze, feeling bad. She didn't even bother to know how he was. But then that did not make it less of his fault. He did not have to tell her what to be! She looked up, "what should I do?"
He smiled and then chuckled. "You're his girlfriend, you are going to decide what you have to do. By the way how's the new job going?"
"It's nice." She smiled, getting up.
"Taara..." he called and she turned. "I don't think Aayush is wrong in saying that you need to learn to not care what the world says. You're beautiful and we all know it. Don't hide behind that scarf. I understand not every woman likes being even remotely classified as imperfect especially when it comes to looks. But you know a woman who embraces all her imperfections and let's the world see her flaws, her courage makes her the prettiest. Take your time, sweetie."
"Bye." Taara muttered walking to the door.
"Take care!" Her father smiled and she turned and walked out. One thought ringing in her head,
They said beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.
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