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33 - the one with her confusions


Taara laughed as he joked. Her plaster had been removed and the doctor had allowed her to slowly start walking. Taara couldn't be happier. She hated being stuck in her bed. Although initially it was very attractive idea to be on bed all day and binge watch and binge read. Here she was on the terrace with Aayush. He was helping her walk around. Her mother had to attend a workshop so she said she'd be late. Taara was surprised when her mother was okay with Aayush staying back late to keep her company. So a date it was, like he put it. 


"Let's sit for a while now." He spoke walking towards the swing. Taara followed him closely. She was happy that she was finally able to drag herself without anyone's support. Suprisingly, Aayush let her be on her own. He didn't bother to tell her to hold his hand like he did until a week back. She missed holding his hand. It was like a blessing in disguise. She liked when he was close, to help her.


He held the swing so that she could sit. She smiled. He gently sat beside her. To her surprise he placed his hand on hers. Her smile widened immediately. Did that mean she was a total goner? No words were spoken they simply let the breeze greet them as they heard the birds chirp. 


"I can't wait to get back to the Marine Drive. I never thought I'd miss that place so much." She spoke.


"Do you think we miss the places or the memories we made there or the people we were there with?" He asked looking at the sky that had turned deep blue with strokes of pink after the sunset. 


"I think we miss the feelings. The person we were at the time we were there." She answered thinking deeply. 


"You want to get back on your feet, go back to going to that office that makes you grumpy at the end of the day...so that you can get back to your favorite place to detox?" He grinned.


"I miss the chai too!" She smiled.


"And obviously you don't miss me."


"Why would I when you're here, right next to me?" She shrugged. He smiled lost in his thoughts. 


"Earth to Mr.Boyfriend."


"Are you reminding me that I am your boyfriend?" He wore a smug grin turning to her.


Heat crept up Taara's cheeks. "No, I was just... being random." she uttered as he leaned closer. She looked at him carefully. He leaned further closer. What was on his mind? Kiss, a lip to lip one or maybe more than that? Already? Wasn't it a little too early? Wait. Did she not want it? She wouldn't mind it. But...how would it happen? What if it made them awkward around each other after it. No way, she wanted that. What if her kissing skills weren't upto mark? He was three years elder to her, there was a chance he knew all of it well. He even had a girlfriend in the past. 


"Earth to my girl!" He whispered over her face.


She blushed. My girl? Cheesy AF! She thought to herself. "What was on your mind?" She finally got the courage to address this big elephant in the room which was surely growing bigger day by day. The sexual tension between them,of course. This wasn't the first time. They had shared many such, literally close, moments ever since her birthday that was a week ago. 


"You don't know?" He cocked up a brow and smirked. 


"Aayush," she warned leaning backwards. He only leaned more.


"I know, you know. So, cut this small talk, Smarty." He winked. 


Taara smiled and placed her hand on his chest pushing him back. She sat up straight. "I think we should.." she made an attempt to rise, "go downstairs" she completed. The slow moving swing hit her behind her knees causing her to shriek and lose her balance. She regretted her not so calculated move. The next things she knew was his arm around her. Luckily, she didn't fall causing injury to her not yet recovered leg. He had held her immediately putting his feet against the ground so that the swing came to a halt which resulted in her landing on his lap.


"Are you hurt?" He asked in panic.


 "No, I don't think so. Just a sharp pain jerked through my leg." 


He looked down, "you're sure?"


"Yeah." She said nervously realizing that her arm was around his neck and she was sitting on his lap with her body almost touching his. She was breathing deeply the pain was gone as swiftly as it had come. But the proximity caused her heartbeat to go crazy. Her lips wer inches away from his face. 


"Aayush, this is awkward." She said trying to get off his lap.


"Relax." He said holding her back, his face turning to hers. He released the thrust he had been applying on the ground and the swing moved a little to and fro before coming to a halt in its resting position. 


"Now." He said not taking his eyes off her. She nodded after stupidly staring at his face for a few fleeting seconds. She got to her feet and took a step away. In the very few next seconds,  he was by her, his hand on her shoulder. "Are you sure your leg is fine? Is there any pain or tingling sensation or..?"


"I am fine." She answered staring at him. 


He nodded convinced, taking his hand back. "You must learn to be a little careful with yourself." 


"I was.."


"Right. Very evident." 


"Stop taunting." She snapped.


He looked at her taken aback, "Taara, I am just saying.."


"I am twenty six. I know how to take care of myself." She muttered. 


"Why are you getting angry?" He asked staring at her.


"I am not." She scoffed looking away. 


"Fine. Let's go down." He stated blandly eating up his irritation at her sudden mood swing.


He turned and placed his hand on her waist to carry her down. "I want to try walking." She spoke looking at her feet, taking a step forward. He knew better not to argue. Her sudden change of mood didn't go down well with him. She was hard to deal with at times. He was surprised how patient he was when with her. He closely followed her, his hands ready to help her if she needed. She winced halfway down.


"Taara, do you want me to..."


"I am good. I can manage." She cut him off. 


"Relax, angry bird." He grinned to lighten the mood. She glanced up at him pursing her lips. 


"I have heard women look hot when they're angry. Today I realize, that's it's a crappy fact." He added.


"I am not angry." She spoke quietly guilt slowly making a way into her nerves. She was confused with her feelings. Her heart was elated at the thought of being close to him, her mind confused and fearful of the outcome. Plus, the feeling that she didn't know him well played the dirty trick with her mind, only perplexing her more. He knew everything about her, her parents, her work life and pretty much about everything else. But she, she knew nothing. His parents, family, home, work nothing. She was waiting for him to open up and he clearly wasn't giving any inputs about his life to her. Maybe because he didn't trust enough yet or he didn't want her to know because this was temporary for him.


"I am sorry." She muttered an hour later while they were in the kitchen. He was helping her cook the dinner. They had decided on paneer gravy with rotis for the main course. "I shouldn't have spoken to you like that. I was just scared, the last thing I wanted was to go back to bedrest. I just got irked when you asked me to be careful." She spoke as she stirred the sweet corn soup. 


Aayush turned in her direction looking up. "I think I should get used to those sudden angry bird moods." 


Gradually, her lips twitched to form a smile, she gazed up at him. Their eyes met. He stepped forward passing the soup bowls to her. "And your lies." He added to which she blinked in response. 


"I am not lying." 


He stared at her silently. "Taara, I deal with a lot of people every day. It's hardwired to figure out when people are honest and when there's a chance that they're lying. You were not scared that you would have hurt yourself. It was something else. It's okay if you don't want to share what it was. I respect your choice. Just don't lie to cover it up."


Taara stared at him. "Aayush, I wasn't .." 


He turned away, "can we drop this and focus on our dinner date." He gazed back at her with a smile climbing up his face, although slowly. She simply turned away focusing on work in hand. "Besides I think you have been standing for long. You should sit now. Leave the serving to me Milady!" He smiled.


Taara quietly walked out thinking of what he had said. How did he know that there was much more than what she explained? There was no one apart from her parents who understood her. Now that she had someone else who understood her like she wanted, a true companion, it was freaking her out. It was of course endearing to have someone understand you but at the same time it was freaking annoying when they understood things you wanted to hide. 


Relationships aren't straight lines or parabolas. They are not squares or triangles. They are rhombicosidodecahedron!

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