He sat there in his room .... The blankness in his eyes can scare the shit out of anyone ...

When he suddenly started singing ... A song all of a sudden ... his mind strucked to a song ... The song which used to be his favourite

He never told anyone ... But ...from the childhood he too wanted to sing .... One more quality which matched with her ...that is why when got to know that she sings ...

He persuaded her to do that ... Because he didn't wanted one more person to leave what they love just like her ...

The song ..  which used to be his favourite is now the reality of his life

Just the one para ...that always hurted him somewhere gard in his heart ... Is now the reality of his life how heart wrenching it is ...

Door tu hai ya hum ho gaye ? ...

He whispered not singing ... But asking himself ....as if trying to find the answers that was he away or she is ....Fromm him ...

Faaslein the ya ab ho gaye ? ..

Har waqt toh faaslein nhi the ... Tum mere kitni karib thi ... Par maine apni wajah se tumhe kho diya naaz ...

Tumhe kho ...

Jaane kyu ye rishte jo the khatam ho Gaye ?

Kya Teri meri baatein ab main Karu
Kyu aankhein bewajah hi bharu

Jaane kyu ye rishte jo the khatam hogye ? ...

The lines are even painful to listen and nor it become the reality of his life it brutally broke his heart as again the trauma was hitting him ...

The past four years ... The hell of his life ....where the witnessed the actual loneliness... Is it easy being left alone ? .... Hus heart broke witnessing his own condition... What he was and what he become ...

He is so vulnerable

Ye kaisi mohobbat hai ...

Jahan mohobbat ka davedar kabil e aitbaar hi nhi ... Toh phir kaisi mohobbat hai ye ...? ... Kaisi ibadat hai ye kaisa intzaar hai ye ? ...

Kehne ko toh hum dono ek dusre se kitni mohobbat karte hai ..  par bina bharose ke mohobbat bhi toh khaak hi hai ...

Jahan bharosa nhi waha Shaq ki sidhi chadte insaan ko der nhi lagti ...

His mind gave him the reality check ...

No one understood him ...is he that complicated? ... He wondered ...

Shadra noon todi na ve
Modi na ve mukh metho

Ankhiyan nu rona bada pena

Kinni vaari kinni vaari
keha ve main

Tere bina kalle nhio rehna
Maan ja tu Kari na shudaiyan jeha haal ve

Zindagi haseen hai je tu mere naal ve
Jeena tere naal marna vi tere naal ve

Naazz ... Itna bhi bura nhi na main ? ... Ya shayad yahi deserve karta hu ... Tumhare dil todne ki saza itni bhayanak bhi ho sakti hai mujhe pata nhi tha ...

Pehle tumhara chorh kar jana ... Phir tumhara mujhe bhool jana ... Phir tumhara mujhse nafrat karna ... Or ajj ... Apne trust kho dena ...

Shayad yahi deserve karta hu kyuki Maine bhi yahi kiya tumhare sath ...

Sahi hai ... Karo ... Mujhse nafrat hi karo naaz ... Tumhara sidharth isi layak hai ... Isi layak hai wo...he whispered chuckles ...

He realised and he accepted the fact that he is the most

UNWANTED PERSON

He accepted ... Though it's heartbreaking but he don't have any choice ...

.
.
.

He was just packing done if his important stuff flying back to Mumbai ... Leaving her here behind ...

But before that he fir once just wanna meet sukh ji and pammi ji ...

He was almost done with his packing when heard his door knocking he was not in any mood to meet anyone ... Not right now

He just wanna fly away from here as soon as possible so that his presence won't effect her more ...

He won't effect her more ...

As the voice of the knocks going stronger ... He felt a little irritated ...

He came towards door and whispered

I don't wanna meet anyone right now ... Pls leave ...

He whispered his voice was slow ... As if he is tired of everything ...

Her heart wrenched ...

Sidharth ... She whispered from the other side of the door ...

Naaz ... He suddenly came more closer as if his heart started to beat faster ... He held the door knob ... But something in his heart striked ...

He didn't opened the door ...

YAHA SE CHALI JAO NAAZ ... he whispered...

NHI JAUNGI ... AJJ TUMHARI NAAZ TUNHARE PASS AAYI HAI ... AISE KHALI HAATH NHI JAYEGI ...

APNE SIDHARTHH KE PASS AAYI NA ... DARWAZA KHOLO ... MUJHE APNE PASS TOH AANE DO ... CHAND ... please...

She called him .... With so much love held herself not cry and breakdown ...

When he can try to get her back ...she can too ... Atleast she won't back off without trying .

He closed his eyes painfully trying to held himself ...

TUMNE HI TOH KAHA THA MAIN TUMHARA CHAND HU ... OR CHAND KABHI NHI MILTA ...

CHAND KA DARJA DIYA TUMNE MUJHE ... CHAND Se FAASLEIN KABHI KAM NHI HOTE NAAZ ...

APNI ZINDAGI AABAD KARO ... MUJHSE DOOR REH KAR ...  APNE AP SE MOHOBBAT KARO ...

NAFRAT KARTI HO NA ... KAR LO ... TUMHARA HAQ HAI ... HO SAKE TOH BHOOL JANA SAMAJH JANA ...

SHAYAD HAMARA MILNA LIKHA HI NHI ... MERA MILNA BHI TUMSE TUMHARE LITE EK DARDNAAK ITTEFAQ BAN GYA ...

he whispered... Chuckles painfully uttering those painful words to her ... Maybe they are not destined to be each other ...

RAHI BAAT DARWAZE KI ... TOH AJJ SE MERE DIL KE DARWAZE TUMHARE LIYE BAND ... OR TUMHARE DIL KE DARWAZE MERE LIYE ...

Tears rolled down ...his eyes ... Her eyes ...

Hamesha tumko chaha
Or chaha chaha chaha

Hamesha tumko chaha
Or chaha kuch bhi nahi

SIDHARTH ... JAB MERA DIL HI TUM HO ... TOH AISE KAISE CHAHT KE DARWAZE MAIN BAND KAR LU? .

Dekho... TUMHE TUMHARE NAAZ PUKAR RAHI HAI ... BULA RAHI HAI ... GALTI KI USNE ... GUNAH KIYA ...

MAANA GUNAH KI SAZA HAI ... TOH DO SAZA ... PAR ITNI BADI BHI NHI.

TUMHARI NAAZ KUCH BHI SEHEN KAR SAKTI HAI ... TUMHE DOOR JATA NHI DEKH SAKTI ...

GALTI HOGTI MUJHSE ... PATA NHI US GHADI KITNI BAKWAS KI ... APNE SIDHARTH PAR SHAQ KAR BAITHI ...

NAFRAT KI PATTI MAIN ITNI ANDHI HOGYI KE JAAN HI NA PAYI ...

HAN DiYA TUMHE CHAND KA DARZA MAINE ...

MERA CHAND MILA BHI MUJHE ...

PAR KEHTE HAI NA ... JAB CHAND MIL JAYE ... TOH USME BHI DAAG DIKHNE LAGTE HAI ...

daag dikhne lagte hai ... Daag ....she whispered held onto the door knob for support kept her head over her hand broke down ...

So painfully ....sobbing ... Streams down along with the door as her legs gave up ...

Her heart wrenched ... How much they need to suffer more ?

Why can't they lead a good and simple life together ? ...

She can't even believe herself that ... In her absence of mind ...she broke him ... So painfully hurted him ...

Why didn't she died before hurting him ? ...why ? ...

How can she ? ... Is it ok if she sounds selfish that ... She needs him to live her life ...

Though how much she says ... She can still never hate him ... Though how much he make her go through still she can't

She can't hate him ...nof in the worst as ....from the childhood dhe loved him with everything ...

From her everything ... But where will the love blooms when there is no trust ...

There relationship is going to the level of toxicity... Where both lacks to share there insecurities

Despite of the fear of losing eachother ...

They lack trust because....in sidharth's case ... He was really too insecure ... And she never really removed his insecurities because at the same time she was dealing with too much ... Her therapies ... Past traumas ...she was going through so much that she took the least of care ...how he feels seeing her ... That's whe she is at fault ..

In Sana's case ... She was really too depressed by him suspecting her ....when he questioned her love ....somewhere or the other it broke her ... So painfully that when after her accident... She got her memory back ....her reaction was loud ... she in a daze of hurting him ... Making him go through what she have gone ... She said that she hates him ...she hates his presence....she hates his touch ...

She was in a daze ... Of hurting him ... That was going through her mind the time when she found herself in his arms ...

It isn't that she wanted revenge or something it was everything that happened out of there impulsiveness ...

He was too impulsive to get her back ... Tried desperately.... She was too impulsive that in her mind she made a scenario...

Both of them suffered and right now there condition is too sensitive

Nor she could handle herself nor he can

Though ... How much toxicity trust issues are there stilll ... If they will try ... Vent out pour out there emotions... Confess what they always felt ... It will be easy for them

Trust issues were there because honestly they have never got the chance to build that level of trust in there relationship...

Though it sounds too silly ... But ... Sometimes ... How much time we spend lacks ... Because being with eachother ... Still there is no transparency ...

Because somewhere or the other ... They have still hided many things and lacked the efforts ...

But ... Now she realised her mistake ... He too did where he lacked ... But in her impulsiveness and her want to hurt him ...she made him feel that ... He is the reason why she is in this condition

He closed his eyes painfully ... Streams down ... As the tears rolled down ...

Please ek baar darwaza kholo sidharth ....she whispered painfully ... Sobbing ...

Please chali jao naaz ... He whispered vulnerable

Sidharth ... I love you ... She whispered... Keeping her hand over the door .

Jaanti hu bhot galtiya karti hai tumhari naaz ... Mujhe maaf kardo ... Please .

Ye akhri baar iske baad kabhi tumhe hurt nhi karungi ... Kasam lage ...

Sidharth ... Please ... Dekho ... Main bula rhi hu tumko ... Aate kyu nhi ... Aise door kyu ho. ? ... Kyu ho ? ..

Mat raho ... Or nhi hoga ... Agar is baar hum door hue toh main apne aap ko sambhal nhi paungi ...

Bachpan se sirf tumhara intzaar Kiya tumse pyaar kiya ... Sirf tumse ... Or jab tumne question Kiya ... Main ... Khud ko sambhal nhi payi ... Tumko kitna hurt kiya...

Galti meri thi ... Maine tumhe kabhi wo security di hi nhi ...

Apne dukh main itna khoyi thi ke tumhe samajh hi nhi payi ... Kr mera sidharth kya soch Raha hai ...

Mujhe maaf kardo please ... She sobs ... Crying ...

Please darwaza kholo ...

His whole body trembled ....tears were rolling down ... As he got up ....

Opened the door .... She cried more as he stood infront of her in all messed up state .
.
His eyes traveled to her hand which was dripping with blood .

.

She stood .... Stumbled ... Infront of him ... Looking straight in his eyes ...

He moved back ... Letting her come in ....

She came closing the door ...

Sidharth...she held her hand to touch him but he moved back looking at her with his red teary eyes...

Mat karo ... Ye sab ... Mat karo naaz ... Mujhe pata hai tum abhi guilty ho ... Ke tumne mujhe hurt kiya.... Aisa na ho ke abhi hum dobara sath ho jaye phir kabhi tumhe regret ho ... Ke mujhse door rehna hi tumhare liye acha tha ..

Main wo nhi chahta naaz pls ... Acha rahega agar hum door hi rahe toh ..
His eyes welled up ...

She nodded her head in no

Pls chali jao ...

Nhi ... Sidharth ... Aisa kuch nhi hai ... Janti hu bohot kuch kaha par ... Gusse or hurt main ... Kasam se wo shabd mere liye mayine nhi rakhte ...

Par mere liye rakhte hai naaz ... Aise kaise bhool jau wo sab Jo tumne kaha ...

Tumhe kaha meri presence tumhe suffocate karti hai ... Mera tumhare saath rehna tumhe dard deta hai. ..tum mujhse nafrat karti ho

Kaise na maanu main ye sab ? ... Bolo ... Or himmat nhi hai mujhme ...ye sab dobara jhelne ki himmat nhi hai ...

Main mar jaunga ... Mujhse nhi ho raha ...

Ishq toh aabad karta hai na ? ... Par mere ishq ne tumhe barbad kardiya ... Itna unlucky hu main tumhare liye ...

Manhus ....he was about to say ...when she kept her palm over his mouth ...

She is seeing herself in his condition

Nhi ... Apne aap ko wo gaali mat do ... Wo galat shabd apne liye idtmaal mat karo sidharth ...

Mat karo ... Her eyes welled up ...

Aisa nhi hai ... Mera sidharth manhus nhi hai ... Kabhi nhi tha ... Shayad kismat hi aisi thi ... Imtehaan tha ...

Par hum saath mil kar isse door kar sakte hai na ? ...she asked

Saath rehne ka ab koi option nhi Raha naaz ...he whispered... Removing her hand ...

Tumhara or mera door rehna hi sahi hai ...sahi hai ...door rahenge ... Toh atleast tumhe mujhse or naf..rat ... Nhi hogi ...he stammered turning around ...

She looked at his back sobbing silently ...

Sidharthh ... She hugs him from behind ...

KYA MAINE TUMHE KHO DIYA ?

she asked more to herself ...

Ore lamhe tu kahi mat Jaa
Ho sake toh umra bhar tham Jaa

Jiya jaye na jaye na jaye na ore Piya re 💔

Dobara kabhi nhi hoga ... Tumhari kasam .... She sobs ... His heart broke ...

She cried more ... Digging her face in his back for the warmth which her heart craved for years ...

He couldn't control himself more at the end ...he couldn't take her tears ...

He turned around ...

And cups her face ... His tears were on the verge but he controlled himself ...

She looked at him ...she knows how much pain he is suffering from ...

MUJHSE DOOR REH KAR TUM KHUSH RAHOGI ... MUJHSE DOOR ...EK NAYI SHURUWAT KAROGI ...

DOBARA PYAAR KAROGI ... TUMHE MUJHSE BETTER LADKA MILEGA DEKHNA ... he smiled painfully ....how much painful it is for him to whisper those words to her ... When ... A mere view of her with someone else break his heart like nothing else ..

TUMSE DOOR RAHUNGI TOH MAR JAUNGI ... PEHLE BHI SAU DAFA KEH CHUKI HU ... DOBARA KEH RAHI HU ... TUM NHI TOH TUMHARE ALAWA MUJHE KOI NHI CHAIYE SIDHARTH

KOI BHI NHI ... YAHA TAK KI MAIN KHUD BHI NHI ...

MAIN TUMSE DPOR NHI REH SAKTI ... AB OR NHI ... she whispered hugs him ...

He brokedown ... His tears rolled down ... As he streams down ... Jis leg gave up ...

Ab toh nhi jaogi na chorh kar ... He holds her hand ... His hands were trembling ...

Jaise ... Jaise chaar saal pehle gyi thi ? ...he whispered... His eyes welled up ...

Nhi jaogi na ? ... Mujhe maaf kar dogi na ... Main ... Maine jaan boojh kar nhi kiya ...he whispered like a lost kid ...

Sachi ... Main ... Meko pata nhi kya hogya tha ... Aisa mehsus hone laga tha jaise main tumhare layak nhi ... Aisa ke agar tumhe koi mujhse behtar mil gya toh tum mujhe chorh dogi ... Main ... Main kho gya tha naaz ... Main ... Sambhal nhi apay main khud ko ...or jab us din ... Tumko Varun ke sath ...

Mera ... Mera dil toot gya tha ... Ek taraf mujhe pata tha ke tum ...he touched her face ...

Tum mujhe dhokha nhi dogi ... Par dusri taraf tumhe khone ke dar se tumhe hurt kar baitha

Main ... Main acha nhi hu Naaz ... Naa hi ek acha beta ... Naa hi ek acha pati ... Na hi ek acha Bhai ... Kuch nhi hu main ...

Dekho na ...tum gyi toh kaise Qayamat baras gyi ... Sab khatam hogya tha ... Tumhara sidharth khatam.hogya tha ...

Jab realise hua toh bohot der ho chuki thi ... Tum jaa chuki thi ... Main toot gya tha ... Or phir maa ... Or kushal ... Deep sab chorh kar chale gye meko ..

Dekho na ... Main kisi ko deserve nhi karta ... Kisi ko bhi nhi ...

Saare chorh kar chale jate hai mujhe ... Chota tha toh meri sagi maa mujhe chorh kar chali gyi ... Phir papa ... Phir maa ko apnane main bhi mujhe kitne saal lag gye ... Kushal or deep chote the ... Unko maa ki mujhse jyada zarurat thi ...

Par ..  mera kya ? ... He whispered... Mujhe bhi toh koi chaiye tha na ? ...

Tumhare zindagi main aane tak main is baat ko apna chuka tha ke mera koi nhi hai ... Main kisi ko deserve nhi karta ... Akele pan ko apna chuka tha ...

Par tumhare aane ke baad ummeed bhi aayi ke shayad mujhe bhi koi pyaar karega ... Or tumne Kiya bhi ... Apne aap ko kho kar bhi mujhse pyaar kiya ...

Apni puri zindagi

Par ...dheere dheere ye samajh mian aaya ke main tumhare pyaar ke layak hi nhi ...

Jaanta hu main ... Pehli baar jo hui ho wo galti par dusri baar kiye gya gunah hota hai ...

Main tumhe deserve nhi karta ... Bilkul bhi nhi ... Maine ... Apni ZINDAGI khatam karne ki koshish ki ..

Par mujhse toh wo bhi nhi hua ... Wo bhi nhi hua mujhse ...he snuggled more into her slipping into the past ...

Dhe was too blank ... A sob escather mouth as she closed her eyes painfully crying ..

He suffered so much just because of her ... Faced the deadly loneliness alone ... And after when ... Just because of her he is in this condition

Still he tried to get her apology

But she ....she was too drowned in her anger ... couldn't see his pain ... She held him in her arms ...

How can she be so selfish? ... In her pain and agony ...she couldn't see him suffering

When she was suffering he was always there to hold her in his arms and when ...he was suffering she was not there ... Her heart welled up with so much pain ... That came out as tears ...

Naaz .... He called her ...

Please mujhse nafrat mat karo ... Main bohot pyaar karta hu tumse ... Tum... Tum door rahogi chalega .. main main jee lunga ... Tumhe khush dekh kar ... Par please ... Please mujhse nafrat mat karo pls ... Main nhi sehen kar paunga ...

Main nhi kar paunga ... Nhi ho kasam se .... He whispered painfully ...

Main nhi jaungi ... Ab nhi jaungi pakka ... Apne sidharth ko chorh kar kaha jaungi bolo ? ...

Jo mile usme
Kaat lenge hum

Thodi khushiyan thode aansoo
Baant lenge hum

Nhi jaungi kahi bhi ... Tumhe chorh kar .... Sidharth ...apni naaz ko maaf kardo ....wo tumhe samajh hi nhi payi ...

Maaf kardo ... Ek akhri baar ... Iske baad koi shikayat ka moka nhi milega ... Promise....she whispered....asking for forgiveness

Shh ... Maafi mat mango ... Tumhara haq hai na ... Hurt karne ka bhi ... Or pyaar karne ka bhi ... Sirf tumhara haq hai ... He whispered....she cried more ...

Nhi ro ... He wiped her tears ...  He himself was crying

She brokedown in sobs ... Leaning in his embrace ... He too hided herself in his arms like he did everytime hindinh her protecting her ...

She cried more ...

Somewhere or the other ... She knows that it will be damn difficult to heal him ... But ...she can ...only her love can bring him back to life ...

Naaz ... Ajj se ek nayi shuruwat kare ? ...he whispered neither he can loose her....nor she can ...

Ek saath ... Purana sab bhula kar ek dusre ko or janne ki koshish kare ? ...

Tum mera sath dogi na ? ... Mere saath rahogi na ....phir se chorogi nhi ... Nhi chorogi na ? He whispered with teary eyes he is too insecure... As if his inner child is saying ....

Kabhi nhi ... Ab naaz apne sidharth ko chorh kar kabhi nhi jayegi ...agar sidharth khud bhi door karega na ? .. tab bhi nhi jayegi ... Chipki rahegi ... Jab bhi sidharth koi aisi waise baat karega ... Toh phir chittar khayega haina ? ...she whispered sniffing cutely ...

He giggles ...

Thik hai ... Maar Lena ... Par chorh na nhi ... Tu meri hai na ... Meri naaz ... He kissed her head ... holding her in his embrace ...

She leans .... At last they ended up together that's what matters to her heart the most ...

I love you sidharth .... she looked him ...her eyes twinkled ...his breath hitched ...

Cheeks turned pink as he looked down ... suddenly felt shy ... Though it's not the first time he will say i love you to her ... But ....something felt different

He looked up ...feeling her intense gaze over ...

Mera kulluuu ....she giggles ... He was looking too adorable blushing ...

I love youuuu tooo ....he whispered with his misty eyes holding her close ...

Pakki baat hai ....she whispered

Hnjiii ... Or koi proof chaiye ab ... He said chuckling ...

Na baba na ...ab tumhare alawa kuch nhi chaiyeee ...

Chaanndddd ... She caressed his face emotional

Oh pritam oh pritam

Bin tere mere is jeevan main kuch bhi nhi nhi nhi nhi

Kuch bhi nhi 

She whispered her heart to him ... Today finallyy they vent out what they felt ...

Finally having there hearts felt light ... As if something heavy lifted up ...with the satisfaction that they won't end up separated but together ... Healing eachother ❤️

...................

I don't wanted this book to end up on a sad note that is why ...

But now at the end they are together ... I hope you all liked it ❤️

epilogue left to end this beautiful journey ❤️ ... Thank you for always being there lots of loveeeee to you all ❤️‍🩹

Thank you so much everyone as the book is close to 100k hayeeee yaarrr ...
Pata ek baar batau ... Is book ko na ... Kisi writer ne share bhi nhi kiya kabhi mtlb ... Not as in grudges wala kuch ....par jaha yr abhi hai na ... Apne aap pohochi hai ... Like you all don't know how much happyy i ammmmm .....

Dekhooooo .... Or ajj iske baad 100k bhi ho jayenge hayeeee ... Kitna thankyou bolu tum sabko na utna bhi kam hi hai ...

Epilogue coming soon ... Bas apni writer ko aise hi pyar dete raho 🤧❤️

I love you all 🫣❤️

And yes one more news.... So ... Hamari ek writer hai sonuvlogs

Jinhone apni book main hamari book ki promotion ki hai uske liye bhi thank youuu so much chudail no. 2 🤧❤️

Loveeeeee ❤️‍🩹