****Who do YOU guys think should be Zoey's love interest? Cause I'm kinda stuck. I know I want it to be either Xander or Oz, but . . . If you guys have a preferences, then please answer!!!!

At school, Sign-ups were being taken for the volunteer safety program for Halloween.

Principal Snyder took one of the clipboards and looked around the hall. He grabbed the next girl that walked by and pulled her aside.

"Hey!" the girl complained.

"You're volunteering," Snyder told her, holding out the clipboard and pen to her.

Willow, Buffy, Xander and I walked closer.

"But I have to get to class," the girl told him.

Snyder just shrugged.

The team walked past him.

"Snyder must be in charge of the volunteer safety program for Halloween this year," Willow told us.

"Note his interesting take on the volunteer concept," I told them.

"What's the deal?" Buffy asked.

We had reached Willow's locker, and she worked the combination.

"Oh, a bunch of little kids need people to take them trick-or-treating," Xander explained. "Sign up and get your own pack of sugar-hyped little runts for the night."

"Yikes," Buffy said. "I'll stick to vampires."

Snyder put his hand on her shoulder.

Buffy turned to face him.

"Miss Summers," Snyder said. "Just the juvenile delinquent I've been looking for."

"Principal Snyder," Buffy said.

"Halloween must be a big night for you," Snyder told her. "Tossing eggs, keying cars, bobbing for apples, one pathetic cry for help after another. Well." He led her to the sign-up table. "Not this year, missy."

Willow, Xander and I walked closer.

"Gosh, I'd love to sign up, but I recently developed carpal tunnel syndrome, and can tragically no longer hold a flashlight," Buffy told him.

Snyder held up the clipboard and pen. "The program starts at four, the children have to be back at six."

Buffy reluctantly grabbed the pen and clipboard and signed herself up.

Xander smiled at Willow and me.

Willow had a concerned look on her face.

Snyder held pen out to Willow, Xander, and me too.

We all looked at him, begging not to be put through this.

Willow gave in and took the pen.

Xander and I had to sign up too.

We walked down another hall.

"I can't believe this," Xander told us. "We have to get dressed up and the whole deal?"

"Snyder said costumes were mandatory," Willow told us.

"Great," Buffy said. "I was gonna stay in and veg. The one night a year things are supposed to be quiet for me."

"Halloween quiet?" I asked. "Oh, I figured it'd be a big old vamp scare-apalooza."

We walked into the lounge.

"Not according to Giles," Buffy told us. "He swears that tomorrow night is, like, dead for the undead." Buffy, Willow and I sat down. "They stay in."

I smiled sarcastically. "Those wacky vampires! That's why I love 'em! They just keep you guessing!"

Xander put his satchel down on the table and walked over to the soda vending machine. He put in his coins and hit a button. Nothing. He hit another one. Still nothing. He hit the machine in the front and on the side.

Larry came up to him and put his hand on Xander's shoulder. "Harris!"

"Hey, Lar," Xander told him. "You're lookin' Cro-Mag as usual. What can I do you for?"

"You and Buffy, you're just friends, right?" Larry asked.

"I like to think of it less as a friendship and more as a solid foundation for future bliss," Xander told him.

"So, she, she's not your girlfriend?" Larry asked.

"Alas, no," Xander answered.

Larry looked over at Buffy as he walked around Xander. "Do you think she'd go out with me?"

Larry turned to face Xander with Buffy to his back now.

"Well, Lar, that's a tough question to..." Xander trailed off. "No. Not a chance."

"Why not?" Larry asked. "I heard some guys say she was fast."

"I hope you mean like the wind," Xander told him.

"Yeah, you know what I mean," Larry told him.

"That's my friend that you're talking about!" Xander told him.

"Oh, yeah?" Larry asked. "Well, what're you gonna do about it?"

"I'm gonna do what any man would do about it," Xander told him, grabbing Larry by the shirt. "Something damn manly."

Larry smiled and laughed. He knocked Xander's hands away and grabbed him by the shirt with his right hand. He balled his left hand into a fist and drawed back for a punch.

Buffy grabbed his wrist, pulling it behind his back and slamming his head into the vending machine.

A Diet Dr. Pepper rolled into the slot.

"Get gone," Buffy told him, pulling Larry back from the machine and pushing him away. She noticed the soda can. "Ooo! Diet!"

Buffy grabbed the can.

"Do you know what you just did?" Xander asked.

"Saved you a dollar?" Buffy asked.

"No, but Larry was about to pummel me!" Xander told her.

"Oh, that?" Buffy asked. "Forget about it."

Buffy walked back toward Willow and me at the table.

"Oh, I'll forget about it," Xander told her, following her. "In maybe fifteen, twenty years when my rep for being a sissy man finally fades."

Buffy stopped and faced him. "Xander, don't you think you're--"

"A black eye heals, Buffy, but cowardice has an unlimited shelf life," Xander told her. "Oh, thanks. Thanks a lot for your help."

Xander grabbed his bag from the table and walked off in a huff.

Buffy moaned and sat back down with Willow and me. "I think I just violated the guy code big time."

"Poor Xander," Willow said. "Boys are so fragile. Speaking of, how was your date last night?"

"Misfire," Buffy answered. "I was late due to unscheduled slayage. Showed up looking trashed."

"Was he mad?" I asked.

"Actually he was pretty unmad," Buffy answered. "Which probably had something to do with the fact that Cordelia was drooling in his cappuccino."

"Oh, Buffy, Angel would never fall for her act," Willow told her.

"You mean that 'actually showing up, wearing a stunning outfit, embracing personal hygiene' act?" Buffy asked.

"You know what I mean," Willow told her. "Uh, she's not his type."

"Are you sure?" Buffy asked. "I mean, I don't know what his type is. I've known him less than a year, and if you haven't noticed, he's not exactly one to over share."

"True," Willow said. "It's too bad we can't sneak a look at the Watcher diaries and read up on Angel. I'm sure it's full of fun facts to know and tell."

I smiled, my voice sounding the opposite of what I was saying. "Yeah. It's too bad. That stuff is private."

Willow played along. "Also Giles keeps them in his office. In his personal files."

Buffy played along. "Most importantly, it would be wrong."

••

Outside of the library, Willow, Buffy and I looked in through the round door window.

We didn't see Giles, exchanging a look.

Buffy quietly opened the door and goes in. She looked back at Willow and me.

We nodded. The door closed and Willow and I looked in through the glass.

Buffy quietly made her way up to the counter and looked around again for Giles. Satisfied that he was not there, she walked for his office.

"Buffy!" Giles said. Buffy turned around and saw him in the cage getting some old books. "Excellent!"

"Nothing!" Buffy told him. "Hi!"

"Yes, I--I just wanted to talk to you about tomorrow night," Giles told her. "As it should be, uh, calm, you might work on some new battle techniques."

"You're beginning to scare me, Giles," Buffy told him. "You need to have some fun."

Buffy waved to Willow or me to come in as Giles was looking down at his books.

Willow shook her head and mouthed 'no'.

I rolled my eyes, looking at Buffy, nodding.

Giles looked up.

Buffy pulled her hand back and pretended she was scratching her head. "You know, there's this place you can go, right, and you sit in the dark, and there are these moving pictures, right, and the pictures tell a story."

"Yes, yes, ha, ha, very droll," Giles told her. I quietly walked in. "I'll have you know that I have very, uh, many relaxing hobbies."

"Such as?" Buffy asked.

"Well, um..." Giles trailed off. "I enjoy cross-referencing."

"Do you stuff your own shirts, or do you send them out?" Buffy asked, grabbing a book from the stack he was about to take to his office and walked around him to draw his view away from his office door. "So! How come Halloween is such a big yawner? I mean, do the demons just hate how commercial it's become?"

Buffy leaved through the book.

Giles put his books down. "Um, it's interesting, ac... Not, I suspect, to you." He took the book from her. "What is it you're after?"

I had made it to the office door.

"Of course, it's of interest to me," Buffy told him. "I'm the Slayer. I need to know these things. You can't keep me in the dark any longer." I opened the door and started in. Giles grabbed the stack of books again and started to turn to his office. "Look at me when I talk to you!"

Willow looked toward me anxiously, walking inside toward them to help distract Giles.

I was completely calm.

"Willow, what are you doing here?" Giles asked.

"I needed to, uh, tell you something," Willow told him.

"I really don't have time for these games," Giles told them.

"Ms. Calendar said you were a babe," Willow told him.

I smiled, shaking my head.

"She said what?" Giles asked.

"Well, she said that you were a... h-hunk of burning... something or other," Willow told him meekly. "So . . ." She exhaled. "What do you think of that?"

"Uh, I..." Giles trailed off, exhaling. "I don't, um, uh... A burning hunk of what?"

Inside the office, I found the diary, grabbing it.

"Look," Buffy told him. "You know how disgusting it is for us to even contemplate you grownups having smoochies." I walked out of the office with the diary. "But I think you should go for it."

"Girls, I appreciate your interest, but..." Giles trailed off.

I snuck past the counter.

"But we've overstepped our bounds," Willow said. "It's none of our business, you know." She stammered. "What were we thinking? My God! Shame." I walked out of the door. "Shame. We gotta go."

Willow and Buffy followed me quickly.

Giles was not sure what to make of it. "A babe?" He smirked. "I can live with that."

••

We were the girls' bathroom, sitting on the sinks and looking at a drawing of a noble woman with a tiny waist wearing a billowy gown.

"Man, look at her," I told them.

"Who is she?" Willow asked.

"It doesn't say, but the entry's dated 1775," I told them.

"Angel was eighteen," Buffy told us. "And still human."

"So that's the kinda girl he hung around?" I asked. "She's pretty coiffed."

"She looks like a noble woman or something," Willow told us. "Which means being beautiful is sort of her job."

"And clearly this girl was a workaholic," Buffy told us. "I'll never be like this."

"Come on," Willow told her. "She's not that pretty. I mean, look at her. She's got a funny... uh, waist. Look how tiny that is."

"Thank you," Buffy said sarcastically. "Now I feel better."

I exhaled. "No. She's like a freak. A circus freak. Yuck."

Buffy exhaled. "Must have been wonderful. Put on some fantabulous gown and go to a ball like a princess, and have horses and servants, and yet more gowns."

"Yeah," Willow said. "Still, I think I prefer being able to vote." I raised my eyebrows. Willow smiled. "Or I will when I can."

Cordelia walked into the bathroom and goes to the mirror. "So, Buffy. You ran off last night and left poor little Angel all by his lonesome. But I did everything I could to comfort him."

"I'll bet," I said sarcastically.

Cordelia pulled out her blush. "So, what's his story anyway? I mean, I never see him around."

Cordelia brushed some onto her cheeks

"Not during the day, anyway," Willow told her.

"Oh, please," Cordelia said. "Don't tell me he still lives at home. Like, he has to wait for his dad to get back before he can take the car?"

Cordelia put the blush away.

"Cordelia, I think his parents have been dead for a couple of hundred years," I told her.

Cordelia touched up her lip gloss. "Oh, good. I mean..." She looked at us. "What?"

"Angel's a vampire," Buffy told her. "I thought you knew."

Cordelia turned back to the mirror. "Oh, he's a vampire." She put away the lip gloss. "Of course! But the cuddly kind. Like a Carebear with fangs?"

"It's true," Willow told her.

Cordelia walked closer. "You know what I think?" She crossed her arms over her chest. "I just think you're trying to scare me off 'cause you're afraid of the competition. Look, Buffy, you may be hot stuff when it comes to demonology or whatever, but when it comes to dating, I'm the Slayer."

Cordelia walked out.

We watched her go.

••

We went to Ethan's Costume Shop.

The store was full of mothers with their kids looking for Halloween costumes.

I was handling a plastic pumpkin when it suddenly lit up and screamed. I quickly put it back on the counter.

Willow walked over to me and Buffy.

"What'd you guys get?" Buffy asked. I smiled, holding up a black outfit with a mask and a toy sword. Buffy smiled. "Ninja?"

"Super-hot assassin, actually," I corrected. We smiled. I looked at Willow. "What about you?"

"A time-honored classic!" Willow told us, holding up a ghost sheet costume.

"Okay, Will, can I give you a little friendly advice?" I asked.

"It's not spooky enough?" Willow asked.

"It's just... you're never gonna get noticed if you keep hiding," I told her. "You're missing the whole point of Halloween."

Willow smiled. "Free candy?"

"It's come as you aren't night," I told her. "The perfect chance for a girl to get sexy and wild with no repercussions."

"Oh, I don't get wild," Willow told us. "Wild on me equals spaz."

"Don't underestimate yourself," Buffy told her. "You've got it in you."

"Hey, Xander!" Willow said. Xander walked up to us. "What'd you get?"

Xander pulled a toy military rifle out of his bag and held it up for us to see.

"That's not a costume," Buffy told him.

Xander gave Buffy a look, then turned to Willow and me. "I got fatigues from an Army surplus at home. Call me the Two-Dollar Costume King, baby!"

"I bet my sword could beat your gun," I told him, raising the toy sword.

Xander raised the toy gun, shooting. "Doubt that, Super Ninja Zoey."

We both smiled.

"Hey, look, Xander..." Buffy trailed off. Xander pointed the rifle at her. "I'm... really sorry about this morning."

"Do you mind, Buffy?" Xander asked. "I'm trying to repress."

"Okay, then I promise, from now on I'll let you get pummeled," Xander told him, putting her chin on his shoulder and pouting.

Xander rolled his eyes. "Thank you." Buffy smiled. "Okay, you know, actually I think I could've t..." Buffy was distracted by a costume. She slowly started walking over to it. "Hello! That was our touching reconciliation moment there.",

Buffy continued walking over to a frilly, red, billowy 18th-century gown. "I'm sorry, it's just... Look at this."

"It's amazing," Willow told her.

"Too bulky," Xander told her. "I prefer my women in spandex."

A man noticed her looking at the dress and walked over to us. "Please, let me."

He took the dress off of its dressmaker's mannequin.

"Oh, i--it's..." Buffy trailed off.

"Magnificent," the man finished. "Yes, I know. There." He held it up to her in a mirror. "My. Meet the hidden princess. I think we found a match. Don't you?"

Buffy looked at him. "Oh, uh, I--I'm sorry. There's no way I could ever afford this."

"Oh, nonsense," the man told her. "I feel quite moved to make you a deal you can't refuse."

Buffy looked back into the mirror, taking the dress from Ethan and smiled dreamily as she held it up to her chin.

••

Willow, Buffy and I were getting ready in Buffy's house.

Buffy wsd at her long mirror wearing her gown and a long, black wig. She put on the second of a pair of earrings.

I was changed into the black outfit, not wearing the mask yet, messing around with the toy sword.

Willow was in the bathroom changing.

"Where're you meeting Angel?" I asked.

"Here," Buffy asked. "After trick-or-treating. Mom's gonna be out."

"Does he know about your costume?" Willow asked.

"Nope," Buffy answered. "Call it a blast from his past. I'll show him I can coif with the best of them."

I turned to the bathroom door. "Okay, Willow, come out. You can't hide in there all night."

"O--okay, but promise you guys won't laugh?" Willow asked.

"We promise," Buffy and I said together.

Willow opened the door and came out wearing boots, a short, black leather skirt and a burgundy, long-sleeved, V-necked, midriff-baring top. She was uncomfortable, and quickly stepped over to her ghost sheet and picked it up.

I smiled. "Wow. You're a dish." Willow tried to hide herself with the sheet. I took it from her and tossed it aside. "I mean, really."

Willow was very uncomfortable and tried to cover herself with her arms. "But this just isn't me."

"And that's the point," I told her, walking around Willow to show her the mirror. "Look, Halloween is the night that not you is you, but not you. You know?"

The doorbell rang.

"Oh!" Buffy said. "That's Xander. Are you guys ready?"

Willow was nervous. "Yeah. O--o--okay."

"Cool," I said. "I can't wait for the boys to go non-verbal when they see you."

Buffy and I walked down the stairs and opened the door for Xander.

Xander entered saluting with his toy rifle in his hand. "Private Harris reporting for..." He saw Buffy in her costume first. "Buffy! Lady of Buffdom, Duchess of Buffonia." He looked at me. "Zoey! Killer of men in Zodom, Assassin of Zonia. I am in awe. I completely renounce spandex."

Buffy curtsied. "Thank you, kind sir."

I pointed the sword at him teasingly. "Show your ladies some respect." Xander smiled and bowed. "But wait till you see..."

We turned to look up the stairs at Willow. She had put on the ghost sheet. It said 'BOO!' on the front in large bold letters. "Hi."

"Casper," I said.

"Hey, Will," Xander said. "That's a fine boo you got there."

Buffy and I were disappointed. Xander just stared.

••

After dark, I was leading the kids I had toward a house, turning toward them. "Okay, on sleazing extra candy: tears are key. Tears will normally get you the double-bagger. You can also try the old 'you missed me' routine, but it's risky. Only go there for chocolate. Understood?" They all nodded. "Okay, tiny ninjettes." I turned and faced down the sidewalk. The kids followed my lead. "Let's move out."

••

Later, everything seemed to be changing.

Two of the kids I saw at Ethan's costume store were changing into what they were wearing.

A gust of wind blew toward us.

When it went past me, I felt completely different.

I looked around all the chaotic behavior around me, hidden by the mask, holding my sword ready.

A machine, automatic gun sounding from behind me made me turn around, raising my sword threateningly.

I saw a military man pointing his M-16 gun at me threateningly.

"Who are you?" we asked together.

"Get out of my way before I'm forced to hurt you," I told him.

"Ninjas have a source of pride?" the man asked.

"I'm an assassin," I told him.

"Ninja, assassin, I don't care," the man told me. "Didn't anyone tell you not to bring a sword to a gun fight?"

I swung the sword toward his gun, making him drop it. As he leaned down to pick it up, I placed the tip of the sword to the ground, spinning and kicking him in the face, making him fall. He picked up the gun, raising it to aim at me. I raised the sword to kill him.

A girl ran toward us. "Zoey, don't! That's Xander!" I spun around, pointing my katana toward her. The man stood, pointing his M-16 at her. "It's me, Willow!"

"I don't know any Willow," the man told her.

"Xander, quite messing around," the girl named Willow told him. "This is no time for jokes."

"What the hell's going on here?" I asked.

"You don't know me?" Willow asked.

Xander lifted the rifle away from her, looking between us. "Ladies, I suggest you find cover."

Xander walked past her.

Willow stood in front of him. "No, wait!"

Xander walked right through her. We were all surprised by the experience.

I raised my katana over my head to point at her.

Xander turned around and pointed his weapon at her.

"What are you?" I asked.

"Zoey, Xander, listen to me," Willow told us. "I'm on your side, I swear! Something crazy is happening. I was dressed as a ghost for Halloween, a--and now I am a ghost." She looked at Xander. "And, Xander, you were supposed to be a soldier, and now I--I guess you're a real soldier." She looked at me. "And, Zoey, you were supposed to be a ninja, and now you're a real ninja."

"Assassin," I corrected.

"Whatever," Willow told me.

"You expect us to believe that?" I asked.

A monster appeared across the street, growling.

I slashed toward in. It ran away.

Willow jumped in front of me. "No! No guns! No swords! That's still a little kid in there!"

"Step out of the way!" Xander told her.

"No guns!" Willow repeated. "No swords! That's an order!" We lowered our weapons. "We just need to find..." She saw someone behind us. "Buffy!" She ran across the street over to a brunette-haired girl with a billowy red 18th century dress. Xander and I exchanged a look and followed. "Buffy! Are you okay?"

The monster was back with a friend, and they both roared as they approaches.

Xander shouldered his M-16 again and took aim. "This could be a situation."

I raised the katana.

"Buffy, what do we do?" Willow asked.

Buffy fainted and fell to the ground.

••

Xander fired off a couple dozen rounds at the approaching monsters.

As they came closer, I slashed the sword into a light pole, making the metal spark and reverberate.

They turned and ran.

Xander and I lowered our weapons.

Willow was kneeling beside Buffy, who was lying against a tree. "Buffy, are you all right?"

"What?" Buffy asked.

"Are you hurt?" Xander asked.

"Buffy, are you hurt?" Willow asked.

Buffy sat up. "Buffy?"

Willow looked at Xander and me. "She's not Buffy."

"Who's Buffy?" Xander and I asked together.

"Oh, this is fun," Willow said sarcastically. She looked at Buffy. "What year is this?"

Xander took Buffy's hand and helped her up.

"1775, I believe," Buffy told us, confused and hyperventilating. "I--I don't understand. Who are you?"

"We're friends," Willow told her.

"Friends of whom?" Buffy asked. "Y--your dress... Everything is strange! How did I come to be here?"

"Breathe, okay, breathe," Willow told her. "You're gonna faint again." She looked at Xander and me. "How are we supposed to get through this without the Slayer?"

"What's a Slayer?" I askrd.

A monster walked around the tree behind Buffy and roared, fangs bared and claws raised to attack.

Buffy screamed and backed away.

I jumped in kicked the monster across the face into a utility pole, grabbing the pole and flipping up, letting myself fall onto it, knocking it down and out.

"I suggest we get inside before we come across anything--" Xander started.

Buffy screamed. "A demon! A demon!" She hid behind Xander. "A demon!"

A sport utility vehicle came driving down the street with its headlights on.

"That's not a demon," Willow told her. "It's a car."

"What does it want?" Buffy asked.

"Is this woman insane?" I asked.

"She's never seen a car," Willow told us.

"She's never seen a car?" I repeated.

"She's from the past," Willow told us.

"And you're a ghost," Xander told her. He looked at me. "And you're a ninja."

"Assassin," I corrected.

A teenage boy was yelling for help.

I looked toward the noise, seeing a fully grown man with his face scrunched and having fangs approach the boy, who had strawberry blonde hair and a guitar next to him, his face hidden by the case. "Help!"

"Can I kill him?" I asked.

"Yes, that's a vampire," Willow answered. "A real vampire." Xander raised his gun. Willow stopped him. "Guns won't work."

Running toward him, I slashed toward the vampire. He tilted back to make me miss. I swung again, spinning through the air and slashing down the middle of his skull, taking it out and slashing into his neck, spinning as I did so to add strength, decapitating him.

The vampire turned into ash.

The teenage boy looked toward me, but hadn't seen anything. "Who are you?"

I pulled the mask off forcefully, looking at him. He seemed to recognize me. I turned around, walking toward the others.

"Now let's get inside," Willow told us.

"I just want you to know that I'm taking a lot on faith here," Xander told us. "Where do we go?"

Willow had to think. "Where's the closest... We can go to a friend's."

••

We arrived to a two story house. Xander opened the back door and scanned the room. "All clear!"

Willow walked in. "Hello? Mrs. Summers?" There was no response. "Good, she's gone."

Xander closed the door.

"Where are we?" Buffy asked.

"Your place," Willow answered. "Now we just need to..." There was a banging at the front door. Xander and I went investigate, and Willow and Buffy followed. "Don't open it!"

"Could be a civilian," Xander told her.

"Or a mini demon," Willow told him.

Buffy noticed a picture on a table and walked over to look. She picked it up, and sees it was of her wearing a spaghetti strap top, with blonde hair. She turned around as Willow walked over to her. "This... this could be me."

"It is you," Willow told her. "Buffy, can't you remember at all?"

"No!" Buffy answered. "I don't understand any of this! Uh, uh, th... This is some other girl!" She put the picture back. "I would never wear this, that low apparel, and I don't like this place, and I don't like you, and I just want to go home!"

"You are home," Willow told her. Buffy was practically in tears. Willow turned to Xander and me. "She couldn't've dressed up like Xena? Or at least another assassin?"

Xander scanned the outside through one of the small windows in the door. He moved away just as a monster punched through the glass and reached for him. It pulled its hand back as Xander raised his M-16.

"Not a civilian!" Willow told us.

"Affirmative!" Xander told her, taking aim through the broken portal.

"Hey!" Willow told us. "What did we say?!"

Xander let loose a volley of bullets.

Willow winced at the noise.

Buffy bowed her head and covered her ears.

I rolled away from the door, banging the sword against the frame of the house, looking toward the others. "Big noise scare monster, remember?"

"Got it," Willow told us.

We heard a woman screaming outside.

Xander looked out again. "Damn it!" I went toward the door. Xander stepped in my way. "No need for scary sword and deadly fights."

Xander opened the door and went out to rescue whomever it was, pulling the door closed behind him.

Buffy ran up to Willow and me. "Surely he will not desert us!"

I shook my head. "Whatever."

Willow rolled her eyes and headed into the living room.

Buffy was wide-eyed with fear.

Even though I had been told to stay inside, I went outside.

A woman in a cat costume screamed as she ran from a sasquatch. "Somebody help me!" She looked back at the monster chasing her and screamed. When she turned back around again she ran into Xander. "Xander! Help me!"

"Come inside!" Xander told her.

The sasquatch roared, slashing toward them.

I landed on the ground in front of them, having a pair of nunchucks, swinging them expertly to block every move he did.

Xander took the woman by her elbow and led her to the house.

I swung the nunchucks to the monster's head, hard enough to make him unconscious, making him fall. I controlled the weapon, turning and running toward the house, inside.

Willow closed the door behind me.

Xander turned to face me. "I told you to wait inside."

"I don't take orders well unless being paid, but I will not stand by," I told him.

"She saved your lives," Willow told him.

"Wait a..." the woman trailed off. "What's going on? Why are you guys acting crazier than usual?"

"Okay, your name is Cordelia, you're not a cat, you're in high school, and we're your friends," Willow told her. "Well, sort of."

"That's nice, Willow," Cordelia told her. "And you went mental when?"

"You know us?" Willow asked.

"Yeah," Cordelia answered. "Lucky me. What's with the name game?"

"A lot's going on," Willow told her.

"No kidding," Cordelia told us. "I was just attacked by Jo-Jo, the Dog-Faced Boy. Look at my costume!" She showed the torn sleeve. "Do you really think that Partytown's gonna give me my deposit back? Not on the likely."

Xander had taken his shirt off and put it around her shoulders. "Here."

"Thanks," Cordelia told him.

"Okay," Willow said. "You guys stay here while I get some help. If something tries to get in, just fight it off."

"Well, i--it's not our place to fight," Buffy told us. "Uh, surely some men will protect us."

"What's that riff?" Cordelia asked.

"I--it's like amnesia, okay?" Willow asked. "They don't know who they are. Just sit tight."

Willow walked away.

"Who died and made her the boss?" Cordelia asked.

Willow walked through the wall behind Cordelia.

Buffy stared in wide-eyed amazement.

••

Xander brought a chair over from the dining room, looking at Cordelia. "You! Check upstairs. Make sure everything's locked up."

Xander positioned the chair to help hold the table we had upended against the window in place.

Cordelia walked upstairs.

"Surely there's somewhere we can go," Buffy told us. "A safe haven."

"Lady said stay put," Xander told her.

"You would take orders from a woman?" Buffy asked. "A--are you feeble in some way?"

"Ma'am, in the Army we have a saying: sit down and shut the..." Xander trailed off when he saw a picture on the floor. "Whoa." He picks it up. It was of Xander, Willow, Buffy and me. "She must be right. We must have some kind of amnesia."

"I don't know what that is, but I'm certain I don't have it," Buffy told us. "I bathe quite often!"

"How do you explain this?" I asked.

"I don't!" Buffy told us. "I was brought up a proper lady. I--I wasn't meant to understand things. I'm just meant to look pretty, and then someone nice will marry me. Possibly a Baron."

"This ain't no tea party, princess," I told her. "Sooner or later you're gonna have to fight."

"Fight these low creatures?" Buffy asked, snotty. "I'd sooner die."

Buffy crossed her arms over her chest.

"Then you'll die," I told her.

A brunette-haired man with a white shirt and a leather jacket walked in from the kitchen. "Oh, good! You guys are all right. It's total chaos out there."

Buffy, Xander and I looked at him. "Who are you?"

••

"Okay, somebody wanna fill me in?" the man asked.

"Do you live here?" I asked.

"No, and you know that," the man told me. "Buffy, I'm lost here. You... What's up with your hair?"

Cordelia walked in. "They don't know who they are, everyone's turned into a monster, it's a whole big thing." She smiled. "How are you?"

The lights went out.

Buffy grabbed me in fright.

"Do you mind?" I asked.

Buffy let go of me.

Xander looked at the man. "You take the princess and secure the kitchen. Catwoman, Assassin, you're with me."

Cordelia and I followed Xander.

••

Buffy had run away.

Cordelia, the man named Angel, Xander and I were looking for Buffy, walking through the streets.

Xander and I had our weapons raised and ready.

"Are you sure she came this way?" I asked.

"No," Angel asked.

"She'll be okay," Cordelia told us.

"Buffy would be okay," Angel told us. "Whoever she is now, she's helpless. Come on!"

••

A pirate was in an alley, trying to kiss Buffy.

Xander was running toward them and tackling him down to the pavement. Xander stood up and pulled him up and into a metal warehouse door. He punched him in the face and gut. The pirate pushed him off and into the opposite alley wall and punched him back in the gut. Xander grabbed his arm and pulled it behind his back, forcing him to bend over, and kneeing him in the stomach.

Cordelia, Angel and I stood behind Buffy.

"Buffy, are you okay?" I asked.

Buffy saw Angel, yelped and cowered behind a box.

"What's your deal?" Cordelia asked. "Take a pill!"

The pirate attacked Xander with his pirate's sword.

Xander ducked. "Ninja with the sword would be helpful right about now."

The pirate raised his sword toward Xander. I spun, kicking into his back. He turned to me, slashing forward. I sidestepped, maneuvering my sword, twisting his to make him drop it. The pirate ran toward me. Lowering to the ground, I spun, my leg kicking his out from underneath him, standing, raising the sword, about to stab him in the skull.

"Enough!" Xander told me.

I froze, the blade meerely an inch from the pirate's forehead.

Buffy looked at Cordelia. "He's--he's a vampire!"

Cordelia looked at Angel. "She's got this thing where she thinks..." She grew exasperated. "Uhhh, forget it." She looked at Buffy. "It's okay. Angel is a good vampire. He would never hurt you."

Buffy slowly stood. "Really?"

"Absolutely," Cordelia answered. "He's our friend."

Angel walked over to Xander fighting the pirate.

Xander punched him, sending him into the pile of trash and a stack of boxes. Several boxes fall off of the top and onto him. He was unconscious.

Xander looked at me. "It's strange, but beating up that pirate gave me a weird sense of closure."

Willow came running down the alley from the other end. "Guys!"

"Willow!" Angel said.

"Guys, you gotta get inside," Willow told us.

Willow looked back and we saw a monster gang coming.

"We need a triage!" I told them.

Angel pointed the other way. "This way! Find an open warehouse."

Xander turned and picked up his rifle. "Ladies, we're on the move!"

Xander quickly walked down the alley. Cordelia, Willow and I followed him. Angel lifted Buffy and carried her away.

The monsters walked after us at a quick, deliberate pace.

••

Angel had gotten ahead of us and found an opened warehouse. "Over here!"

Xander pushed the door aside, and we all hurried in. "Check if there are any other ways in!"

Xander slid the door closed again.

Angel set Buffy back down on her feet next to Cordelia. "Just stay here."

The monsters arrived and started pounding on the door from outside.

Xander picked up a large grate and set it in front of the door on top of some barrels he had already moved into place.

I had a sword in own hand, the nunchucks in the other.

"Zoey, you can't kill them," Willow told me.

"I have to protect them," I replied.

Buffy was holding on tightly to Cordelia.

"Oh, faboo, more clinging," Cordelia said sarcastically.

Xander picked up another grate and set it behind the first one as the monsters got the door open. They pounded against it as he tried to hold it in place.

"Go!" I told the other.

They all started running again, and Xander and I followed when he could no longer hold the grating against the monsters. The grates fell to the floor as two monsters came in and pushed the barrels aside. A blonde vampire followed them in and looked around. He led the monsters off after us.

••

They had caught up with us, and the monsters held Xander and Angel.

I raised my sword toward two monsters.

"Zoey, no!" Willow told me.

Two other, bigger monsters took hold of me during the distraction.

The blonde slowly closed in on Buffy as she backed away, trembling. "Look at you. Shaking. Terrified. Alone. Lost little lamb." Buffy had backed up against a crate and couldn't go any further. The vampire slapped her across the face with the back of his hand. "I love it."

Angel struggled with the two monsters holding him. "Buffy!"

The vampire put his left hand around her throat and pushed her backward onto the crate. He stroked her forehead with his right hand.

Xander struggled with his two captors.

The vampire grabbed Buffy's hair and closed in for the bite.

••

I turned to the side toward a machine, walking along up the, flipping out of the grasp of the monsters and punched one in the face, the other in the gut, and then pushing the second monster into the first.

The vampire closed in on Buffy.

I turned my attention to him.

"Now that guy you can kill," Willow told me.

I grabbed my sword, throwing it like a disk toward his neck to decapitate him.

••

The sword turned into a toy sword and hit the back of his neck, falling to the floor.

"What the . . ." I trailed off.

The monsters had all turned back into children and student escorts. The kids were frightened, and began to cry and complain.

And I remembered everything about who I was and who I knew.

"I'm scared!" a kid cried. "I want my mommy!"

Spike looked back at us and stood straight. He pulled on Buffy's hair to pull her up and found he just had a wig in his hands. He looked at Buffy.

Buffy got up off of the crate and smiled at him. "Hi, honey. I'm home."

Buffy punched him in the gut, twice in the face, and kicked him in the chest, making him stagger back into a set of mobile stairs. He grabbed a length of pipe that was leaning there and swung it at her. She caught the end of it and pulled him around and into the crate he had her against. She used the pipe like a quarterstaff and swung it into his jaw and jabbed him in the stomach. He doubled over in pain.

"You know what?" Buffy asked. "It's good to be me."

Buffy brough the pipe up into Spike's chin from underneath. He flew back onto the crate, then slid off onto the floor.

••

Buffy was through fighting.

Spike stood and growled at her, then made a hasty retreat.

Buffy dropped the pipe and turned to the others.

Xander and I walked over to her.

"Hey, Buff," Xander told her. "Welcome back."

"Yeah," Buffy said, looking between us. "You two, too."

"You guys remember what happened?" Cordelia asked.

"It was way creepy," I told them. "It's like I was there, but I couldn't get out."

"Yeah, I know the feeling," Cordelia told us. "This outfit's totally skintight."

Cordelia looked up at Angel.

Angel walked up to Buffy. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Buffy answered.

Angel put his arm around her shoulders and led her away.

"Hello?" Cordelia asked. "It felt like I was talking, my lips were moving and..."

Xander shook his head. "Give it up, Cordy. You're never gonna get between those two. Believe me, I know

Cordelia gestured to the kids. "Well, I guess you better get them back to their parents."

I looked around. "Yeah, everybody seems to... Where's Willow?"

We would see her soon.