Ch - 38

"Shehnaaz please go and bring all the costumes with joy. Today is the last day we have so many works." Tina asked her and leave from there, she simply checks the list and went to do the assigned works.

Her face is showing no emotions, some of the times when life just give you pain and sorrow continuously on life then after a moment it becomes so habitual that it didn't affect you anymore. And she passes all stages of pain, betrayal, hatred, slaps on love, ignorance, losing a person.

Every emotion that passes through her soul be successful to break her in every single moment.

It's been a week, things are still the same maybe even worse because she isn't able to saw his face daily. He leaves early morning, comes home late and in the set, he seems doesn't even know about her existence in the world. Forget about the talk he doesn't spare a single glance at her..

His makeup is done by another person, costumes are also brought by someone else because he personally assigned them for all the work. Sana doesn't want to believe but every word that Aditi uttered seems true, all this was nothing but a distraction for him which he forgets.

It pains more than when he used to hate her, at least at that time she knows aspects same thing. But after whatever happened from the last two months and especially after that night she never aspects him to ignore her existence like this.

On the time hatred also he never avoids her or treats her in this way, like she is no one in his life. She keep consoling herself that he might be busy, he have to do work. All the excuses that a person try to give themselves when their love ignore them like this...........

Sidharth tapping his feet continuously on the floor, only he knows how he acts to ignore her the whole week when she is the only person who keeps booking her slot on his mind. Every time he thinks to talk his guilt stop him, doesn't able to understand what to say or not?

Whatever happened was definitely a mistake because indirectly he forces on her. This is the only reason which stops him from facing her, he couldn't hold the courage to stand in front of her because he doesn't want to see any kind of hate in her eyes for him.

He is so much onto the emotions of guilt that stop all other emotions from coming in between.

But knows that he can't change what happened, neither he acts like this the whole life. At a moment he needs to talk to her, but what? He doesn't have any idea about what? Because he is still not able to understand that what he is feeling.

On one side he doesn't want to hold her for anything and on the other he also doesn't want her to break the marriage. He thought about the divorce when misunderstood her, but after that, he never accepts properly but somewhere wants to give this relationship a chance. What if it works?

But then he did a mistake that night and all becomes confusing. He not clearly remember but she said something before he fell asleep. Pressing his head he rests it on the table, the thing pinched on his heart that they didn't talk after that night.

Something popped on his mind which he never thought before, was lost so much in his own emotions that didn't even think about her. After whatever happened, he just left her there alone and then keep ignoring.

Opening eyes in a jerk he runs fingers on his hair, his actions were not less than a jerk who ignore the person after getting intimate. If not then but she might definitely start hating him now.

He should have at least asks time from her, "Fuck." Sidharth groaned by getting up from the chair by closing his eyes.

Before he could react or notice anything someone jumped over him wrapping his hands around and start kissing him. The sudden jump causes him to lose balance and fall on the couch, wincing he pushed the person away and get up.

"What the fuck are you doing?" He yelled at aditi.

She gets up from the floor and scowls by coming closer to him, "The thing that you want, i know you are attracted towards me so am i and this time don't give the marriage shit because you are having fun outside. Trust me will also be fun." She said placing a hand on his shoulder.

Clenching his jaw he jerks her hand off and warns by pointing a finger towards her, "Don't you dare to utter disgusting things from your fucking mouth. I thought you have mind but you don't, note my word. I don't like or attracted towards you in any sense and fucking not interested in keeping any contact with you after today.

I am glad this is the last day of shooting." Barked in anger he moves to the other side when she turns him by grabbing the collar and yells,

"What that bloody makeup artist has that i didn't? Don't you act confused because i saw the bite marks on her, and by your actions her not saying anything it is clearly known that you are fucking that whore. Why she, not me? What is she your mistress? I.."

Before she could speak more he broke the vase in anger, the loud sound cause aditi to jump on her place. Grabbing her both arms he glares at her in extreme anger, his veins seems can come out anytime by tearing the skin, eyes turn red.

"Thanks to god that you are a woman or else i would have break your face in a way that none can ever recognize it.." He greeted his teeth.

"Yes it was given by me, will always be and it will only she all the time because she is my fucking wife. And my wife has every single thing that none in this whole world have, she is the angel that you can't even be in your dreams.

I am with her and will be with her because i love my wife, yes i love her. And don't you dare to utter one more word about my wife because next i won't see who is standing in front of me. Now get lost." He throws her out from the vanity and close the door.

Breathing heavily he closes his eyes when realising all the words left that from his mouth,  a soft smile hinted on his face. Shaking his head he look himself in the mirror by scratching the back of his head, his smile grew with every second and a blush replace the anger.

He loves her, yes he is in love with naaz. How idiot of him who doesn't understand all the things before? This is the reason he felt so possessive about her, wants to spend time with her, love every single action of her, not but just watching her face capable of bringing a smile on his face.

This is the reason only her presence make his surrounding dance with happiness. The reason because of which he lost control that night for the first time, he loves her.

Chuckling sidharth mumbles, "I fucking love you naaz. Oh sorry, no slangs. I need to see her." Grabbing the phone he rushes outside but the producer stops him in between, they request him to stay for a little longer as this is the last. After so much discussion he agreed for half an more.

His eyes roam all over the place but she saw nowhere, almost all cast and crew are here except her. He is getting restless with each passing second, if he can definitely use the anywhere door from that cartoon. He knows being completely illogical, but he couldn't help it.

He is feeling the emotion always wish on his life, finally after searching for so long he found love and the happiness is double because she is none other than his wife. He doesn't know what is her feelings but will definitely do everything to make her happy, and all by which she can fall for him too.

Somehow the time passes and he rushes for home, the whole way his heart is beating at a speed that has no records on the speedometer also. The whole one week he even avoids remember all moments they spend together but now when he realise every single second of it is giving him shivering sensations.

That night nothing was a mistake because it all happened in love, he lost control in love, he did everything because he love her. Hope he didn't drink that much on that night, there are the memories but not completely clear. He wants to reminisce about every single emotion he felt at that time.

But already his stupidity ruin the most beautiful moment of his life, what if she be angry with him? No problem, he will persuade her in all ways. Rubbing both hands together he looks outside the window with a smile....

"You can do it sidharth." Taking a deep breath he knocks at her door, he look at the flowers on his hand with a confused face. He merges all white flowers because she once said her liking about white flowers.

After not getting any reply he knock again by clearing his throat, "Naaz!" He bit his nails by not getting any reply, the guard says that she came home. Having no more patience he unlocks the door and enter inside, but his brows collide by finding no one there.

The washroom was also empty, scratching his hair he is going to leave when his eyes fall on the note that sticks to the mirror. A sudden limp form on his throat, he doesn't know what it is but a weird kind restlessness like he is losing something is start roaming on his nerves.

Holding his breath he picks the note, his heart kicked painfully from inside when eyes fall on her writing.

"Sidharth sir,

I have to write this note you maybe don't want to talk to me. I tried many times but i think you are not interested the reason i didn't even call you. Writing is the best option because here i didn't stammer in between.

I run from Kolkata in order to forget all past things and pains i needed to breathe but now this place is start to suffocate me. I couldn't able to breathe in your house, it feels like i am fighting for oxygen every day. And it pains..

Don't worry i didn't run, just need to think about few things that keep eating my soul from inside. I need time, space and my breathing back in order to reach any decision. I can't live anymore like this, on this worthless life where no one wants me. I don't want to be a burden on anyone's life.

I know you never want me in your life, ever. And i respect your decision but now i also have to take a decision for myself. The decision that didn't give me pain anymore, i done with all... Just give me a week, i will be back and then we can talk about the divorce. You don't have to stick with me the whole life.

My phone is in the drawer, that you gave me. Please don't try to contact me in any way, just trust for the last time that i will be there after a week. I need a week just for me.

Shehnaaz. ".....,.................  ............

Sana look outside the window, a drop of tears fall from her eyes. She doesn't like to run like this but everyone has that last stage after which they didn't even want to fight for the things. She tries to endure all pain, suffer everything but at the end of the day she is also just a normal human being.

At this point of time, she will be happy if her life just ends because lost the capability of bearing pain. Every person she loves, trust or believe always broke her in a way that pieces find it hard to join again.

With all efforts last time she managed to join those pieces but again he broke the already broken pieces.............................

The flowers fall from his hand with the tear drop that rolls down from his eyes. Vivek came to meet Sana when his eyes fall on the paper and sidharth who is sitting on the floor.

With a confused frown, he read the whole letter and look at him, "I don't know what had happened between you two but, she loves you sidharth from the starting always. You were too blind to saw that, you hurt her before and don't know what you did again. I am just hoping you won't lose the person whom you wish for all life." Said he leaves from there.

With a sad chuckle sidharth look at the note, "Sometimes we take too much time to understand our inner feelings, to understand love. Which is what i did, you love me but i broke you..and now i am the most broken person here and madly in love with you."

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Let's see what happens next!!

I couldn't able to give two updates because i never keep back up of chapters. Main usi tym likh kr deti hun and yesterday i have my second dose of vaccine. And also today is Janmasthami and i need to prepare all decorations and shoping because of the festival.

Yahi part bohot muskil se likha h part part m, adha likha phir adha😅😅..

And the people who were crying that they can't able to saw sana like this, don't worry now it's for the other person to bear the pain and the main twist is still left. Jo turning point hoga story ka