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"Loneliness is a sign you are in desperate need of yourself"

- Rupi Kaur -

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His breathing was uneven, and his mind was deliberately pumping disillusioning paranoia. Beads of sweat rolled down his forehead when he remembered the past chain of events that occurred in his life. The secret double life he led. Ethan woke up with a stifled gasp. His head spinning around as he rubbed his eyes trying to focus on something and ignore the blurry view. He leaned against the headboard, breathing wildly. The clock on the wall read, 5:00 am. Ethan pushed himself up from his messy bed knowing there wouldn't be any use of trying to sleep again. His eyes wandered to the younger boy sleeping on the other bed of the room. He was curling into himself trying to suppress the early morning coldness enveloping the room. The outside was dark under the translucent white curtains. The floorboards were freezing underneath his feet. Ethan did not care about anything. He was used to his early morning routine. Waking up from another hysterical nightmare was just another part of his life. He dragged himself toward the bathroom and splashed cold water against his pale skin, damped with sweat. The dark bags underneath his eyes highlighted against the pale white complexion. He just merely dismissed the thought, opening the shower without even turning the heater on. He just wanted to let the cold water splash against his skin, let the coldness cut through his flesh to make him feel alive again.

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Walking into the training room, Shu never thought he'd have to witness such an event happening inside the room. Everyone was crowded inside, most of the female members gushing over a figure standing in the far corner with Dylan, Ethan and Free. Boys were staring in awe, with a hint of envy in their faces about the other's publicity and popularity. He just stood in the far back, observing the figure when it finally hit him. Joshua Burns, the outstanding Hollywood star is the last member of the team. He was a member of the big five, widely known for his ability to act and blade, balancing his lifestyle almost perfectly within everything. Shu just stood there, unable to feel the mutterings, shouting or even the harsh contact of elbows pressed against his skin in an attempt to get a better view. He realized that Theodore Glass had put together a tremendous team, completed it with two members of the big five, giving them both publicity and the honour. Dylan caught his sight and made a face at him, saying something to Joshua for which the dark skinned male frowned at. Shu felt his skin prickling with the hard stare of the other. He was about to turn around and leave the suffocating, crowded training room when Dylan called out for him. His voice cutting over the shrill echoes and the chattering, silencing them for a minute. "Shu!"

Shu turned around again and met the sinister sapphire eyes of Dylan, staring at him with a fake friendliness. He wrapped one of his arms around his shoulder and led him toward the rest of the group. The crowd parted away from the middle, giving them access to reach the rest of the team members. Dylan talked with a sweetness glittering all over his voice, "This is Shu Kurenai, our youngest member. I think you already know this guy Shu"

Shu just hummed, taking Joshua's extended hand, accepting the friendly gesture of courtesy. "Joshua Burns" He said, with a simple nod. "Nice to meet you Shu Kurenai"

"The pleasure is all mine" Shu replied, taking his hand away from his grip, letting it fall limply by his side. There was an awkward silent filling the room as everyone just stared at each other. Free cleared his throat.

"If we want to have a proper meeting among us, it's better to go somewhere private"

Joshua seemed to be fascinated by Free's voice alone. He pumped up his chest and looked at Free admiringly as he just said that he found a cure for cancer. Shu really did not take Joshua to be the hardcore fanboy type, but there he was witnessing the deep and endearing fanboy dancing inside the emerald green eyes of the taller male. "Of course!" He cheered, looking at the rest of the members. "Anywhere you three recommend?"

Ethan sighed, pushing away from the training equipment he was leaning against. "This way" He said, leading them all out of the crowded training room. They could hear the disappointed groans of Joshua's fans as they walked out and the guy seemed to be quite satisfied with all the attention he received. Ethan stopped in front of a secluded small training room, which was used as a sparing one when the main room was occupied by many bladers. He opened the door with a hiss and turned on the light. The white light flooded to the room revealing three bey dishes lined perfectly with a set of lockers standing against each side of the wall. They all entered the room and Ethan closed the door behind him. "Theodore will be here soon" He informed, leaning against one of the lockers, picking on one of his nails showing the least interest about their newly formed team.

Shu shifted from leg to leg, just looking around when Joshua suddenly spoke, "Why were you late to arrive at the training room?"

Shu raised his head to look at him, his expression lacing confusion. "Late?"

Free crossed his arms, yawning. "Apparently we called a meeting in the morning and you were the only one who wasn't present"

Shu strained his mind to remember about any meeting, but clearly he wasn't informed about any of that. He tilted his head sideways, blinking, there had to be something wrong, or, he thought, lifting his eyes to meet Dylan's sapphire blue ones. His lips curled into a mocking smile as Shu understood what happened. He just chose to stay quiet, like he always did, but Joshua seemed to be a strictly to time person because the dark haired boy was not ready to give it up. "We're waiting for an answer"

Shu debated whether to tell the truth or just to ignore. What the worst could happen? He thought absentmindedly. He could feel the growing agitation of Joshua who was hovering above him and Shu heaved a sigh realizing that his first impression on the Hollywood star is on the bad side. Quite thankfully, before the argument could strike further Free talked it down, "Drop it"

Joshua didn't even waste a second, he just dropped the subject in that instant with one last glance at Shu. The conversation continued, and Shu didn't really pay any attention to it. He just looked around his teammates realizing how bad their chemistry was. There was Dylan, the stereotypical bully of the club who was there to torment him to the core. Then there was Free who always wanted to go solo rather than working with a team. There was Joshua, the hardcore fanboy who worshiped Free and there was Ethan, the enigmatic attaboy whom they knew nothing about. After everyone was himself, who had no idea what the hell was going on. Even Though they can be a strong team, without this teamwork they could never achieve the goals they want and Shu had a dreading feeling that it would take a millennium for them to get along like normal human beings. His thoughts were broken by a cough. Dylan cleared his throat, voicing his thoughts. "So about the leader of the team..." He started, taking everyone's attention. "What do you guys think? I think the strongest of us should get the title" He said, eyeing Free from the corner of his eyes.

Free shook his head, "Someone else other than me please. I don't want to take all the responsibilities as a leader."

Ethan merely picked on his nails, without giving his suggestions. Dylan looked at Shu, "You're out of the conversation because you're the youngest"

Shu just shrugged, when surprisingly enough Free talked. "You don't have the right to talk like that. Shu is a member of the team, he has the rights"

Dylan just clicked his tongue, looking at Shu with a disgusted look when Joshua finally spoke. "If you all agree, I can take this fierce responsibility of leadership. I promise my fellow comrades that I, Joshua Burns will fight till death"

Shu bit back a snort at his dramatic approach. Surprisingly enough, there were no objections. All of them had no intention - except Dylan who had to give up on the title because Joshua was way more talented- of becoming the leader. Joshua looked enthusiastic about his new title as the leader of the Raging Bulls while the others just gave him blunt congrats. That's when Shu realized how dull they were. The upbeat nature of the bey club which he was used to is now only a mere memory he treasured inside his heart.

Waiting for Theodore turned out to be boring and took longer than they expected. Naturally, Joshua was the first one to jump into action, pulling out his bey from his pocket. "This is Blast Jinnius. Who's up for a battle?"

For some reason, his eyes were trained on Shu's own. It was like he was asking Shu for a battle, and he did not want to give up on such an amazing chance to battle one of the big five. Shu pulled out Legend Spryzen from his pocket, facing Joshua. "Let's battle"

Joshua practically snorted. "Of course" He said, his tone was mocking and he was clearly underestimating the talent of the crimson eyed boy. Battling is what made all of them a team, and the word battle was able to grab everyone's attention. Joshua and Shu positioned themselves on each side of the bey dish. Joshua's emerald green eyes were focused on Shu's own red one. This battle was a matter of prestige to prove himself as the able leader. First battle went for Jinnius. Just as he expected from the world rank blader, Joshua was powerful. His bey clashed against Spryzen as a storm, pushing it off the edge and out of the stadium. Shu picked up his red and black bey. The disk glinting as Shu's mind worked fast, looking for a strategy. He calculated the position silently angling himself to attack from the left without taking Jinnius head on. The best plan is to tire it and make it run out of stamina. Joshua grinned, even more sure of himself after the ring out finish.

"Well, well can you smell your defeat yet?"

Shu just raised his eyes to look at him but said nothing. His lips pursed into a thin line. He never let his focus fail when he's battling, most of the time it was his key to win. The beys were launched again. Spryzen rotated around Jinnius waiting for the perfect time to attack. There was no pressure, no stress inside his mind. His mind was placid like it always was when he's battling. Shu lowered his eyes, seeing Spryzen changing it's trajectory perfectly angling to attack. Just as he planned, Spryzen attacked from the side tiring the other bey. At first, it didn't seem to take any effect from the chain of attack but then as everyone witnessed, the bey started to slow down and eventually stopped altogether in the middle of the stadium.

"Survivor finish, one point to Shu Kurenai" Dylan called out bitterly. This time, there were no words passed, Joshua was gradually gaining his focus again and this time he was serious, it was just not a mocking battle to push away a youngster.

"Third battle" Dylan said. The two positioned themselves as the countdown began.

"3 2 1 let it RIP"

The beys flew into the stadium. Jinnius wasted no time clashing against Spryzen this time. The impact was surreal. Sparks flew out of the beys from the impact and everyone's eyes were fixed to the beys. Their inquisitive eyes fixed on the battle waiting for the result.

Dylan gasped, his eyes widening in horror. Shu Kurenai just defeated one of the big five members just before their eyes. Joshua looked the most surprised. The older male fell into his knees, his eyes fixed on his bey, which was in three pieces. Spryzen finally came to a stop beside it, gradually running out of stamina. Out from the corner of his eyes Shu saw Ethan's lips curling into a ghostly smile and at the next moment it was gone. Shu blinked several times trying to figure out whether he had imagined it or not. Free crossed the room to reach them, "That's why you shouldn't underestimate anyone Joshua. If you tried to battle with your full potential you would've won"

Everyone was silent for a few moments. Free's words had a deep impact on each of them. Even though Free tried to avoid it, he was better cut out to be a leader than Joshua. It was a giving according to his calm, cool, collected personality. Joshua stood up, straightly looking at Shu. He took a few steps and stood in front of him, towering the smaller blader. Shu let out a surprised breath seeing the smile decorating his face. "Great to see a young talented blader. Guess Zac is right, he warned me you're a beast hidden under that cute little face"

Shu just watched him, unable to make a reply. Well, to be fair he didn't know whether to take his comment as a compliment or an insult. Instead he asked, "You know Zac?"

"Yep" Joshua mused, "He told me a lot about your supreme four stuff back in Japan. That guy thinks you all are family"

Shu smiled, "Sounds like Zac to me"

Zac had always been family to him. He was the one who desperately tried to keep the four of them together as a team. As he always told, they have to be admired figures in Japan Beyblade. He even remembered how Zac stayed over his place when he got a cold and no one to take care of him in the house, because most of the time his parents were away from home. A guilt washed over his heart when he remembered he hadn't called Zac after he came to America, as he remembered Zac is getting ready to debut his first English Album these days. Shu made a mental note to call Zac and wish him luck. He was pretty sure that like all of the songs this one will be popular all over the world too. Breaking his thoughts a figure entered the room. Theodore smiled, his lips tightly curling into a gesture of smiling. "It's good to see you all getting along. From tomorrow the practices will start because the nationals are going to be held soon. BC Sol is stepping up their game," He said, Shu wondered what happened with their match: AS Gallus vs BC Sol. Theodore went on about schedules and about their dedication, but most of the time, Shu was distracted. This man reminded him of those weird men who came in that day. No matter how much he tried to dismiss the thought from his mind, it kept coming back.

He watched him leaving the room. Joshua blabbered something about teamwork for another half and hour and discussed something with Free. Even though he tried to talk with Ethan, he just dismissed the thought and left early. Shu really couldn't figure out the boy, he was just too mysterious for his own good. After that, they all walked toward their dorm rooms. Dylan was the first to break off from the team and walked into his one. Free led the way to Joshua while Shu silently trailed behind them, lost in his own little world. He looked at the big screen display on the main lobby which was barely visible from the upper level of the building. But he could make out that BC Sol had won against AS Gallus. He watched Free's eyes trailing on the screen for a few seconds before falling back to the floor. No matter how much he denied it, there must be a tiny part of guilt inside the boy's mind.

Shu just stayed inside his room the rest of the day. He skipped the dinner and fell asleep early. After all the commotion and the gathering of their brand new team, he was tired. The word had spread around the world that Theodore had recruited the strongest team. Even his friends were awed by the sudden appearance of Joshua and of course about his leadership. According to Honcho and Valt, Joshua did some kind of a movie shooting in BC Sol. Again, he wondered why Joshua had gone to BC Sol before arriving here. The unsettling feeling inside his gut growing deeper.

He fell asleep easily that night. There was no tossing and turning but the thoughts inside his mind was playing tricks in his dreams that the albino woke up with a stifled gasp in the middle of the night. The room was pitch black except for the faint light filtering under the little gap between the door and the floor. Shu blinked, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the darkness when he saw movement from the bed opposite to his own. He didn't move. Shu just simply watched as Ethan stood up quietly and turned to his bed, checking whether he's asleep or not. Shu stayed still, pretending to be asleep when the raven haired boy opened the door just an inch and stepped out. Shu waited for a few seconds debating about his decision. His curiosity took the better of him as he stepped down from his bed, making sure not to make any sound. He opened the door, wincing at the silent creak which seemed to be thousand times louder than before. He looked around the corridor and out from his peripheral vision he noticed a silhouette just turning from the corner. He took silent steps following the figure. It was Ethan, at least he hoped it was. The whole club was dead quiet except for the sound of cars honking outside. The darkness was kept at bay by the night lights lighting up the whole corridor. Shu inches, ducking and hiding behind the corners following the figure. He did not know why he was following, just maybe that scene with Theodore was running inside his mind all this time nevertheless he wanted to know what's exactly going on with Ethan. The figure suddenly stopped dead on his tracks. Shu pressed against the wall trying to keep himself hidden when he heard whispering. Shu peeked from the corner to see Ethan, and another guy. He was wearing a mask, and was moving his hand to take it off when suddenly Ethan stopped him, suspiciously looking around. He took the other's wrist and dashed away from the corridor before Shu could register where they disappeared into.

Shu aimlessly wandered around, looking for a trace but gave up when he found none. He walked back to his dorm room when he met the sight of two men. Both of them dressed in black elegant suits looking like grim reapers in the dead night. Shu watched them exiting the building from the main exit for there was no one around except himself to spy on them. Shu let out a shivered breath, hurrying himself to his room when he collided with someone. Shu bit back a yelp, looking to see the person. His shoulder slumped almost immediately with relief when he saw Lucas standing in front of him with a questioning gaze. "What are you doing here?" He whispered.

Shu just shook his head. Mostly, he was open with Lucas but at the moment his gut feeling was to keep quiet. Keep everything secretive. "I-I thought I heard a sound, so I went to check on it"

"That's against the rules Shu. You can't go out after the lights are off"

Shu didn't say anything. He just ducked his head knowing Lucas is angry, more than he had ever been before. "Sorry"

Lucas let out a frustrated sigh and led Shu to his room. "Don't even think about going out in the night again" His voice has turned into a furious yell but mostly quiet. His mouth settled into a deep frown as he talked.

Shu just nodded, muttering another sorry. He got into the bed and threw the covers over him when Lucas said, "I'm saying this for your own good Shu. World is a dangerous place"

Shu watched him exit the room. As soon as he was gone, the albino sat on his bed, gazing at the empty bed beside him. He realized Lucas did not question about Ethan. Did he know? What's exactly going on? Shu asked from himself, drawing his knees to his chest sighing deeply. There was only one thing he could make out from all these peculiar incidents. Something big, some undercover business is going inside the Raging Bulls and even amidst all of the members right at the moment Shu felt alone. Just lonely.