Song: S.L.U.T. – Bea Miller

I wake up hours later with throbbing between my legs. Holy hell, what is wrong with me? How could I let this happen all over again, how? My eyes slowly flutter open to a bright sunshiny room. I quickly close them and then open again long enough to see the time on the clock. I close my eyes but within seconds I startle awake. I look over at the time again, shit...that can't be the time; I can't afford to be late again. I jump up and notice that Eli is gone. I huff as I get out of the bed and search for my bra and panties. Since I am running so far behind, I go ahead and throw on my tights along with my shirt and top so that I will be ready for practice. Or should I say late. There is no way in hell that I will make it there in time.

I slide on my shoes and head out towards the living room to find my bag with my slippers. The whole time I am cussing under my breath. "Dammit...shit where did I put my keys. Dammit to hell." I was about to mutter another word when I look up to see Eli next to the kitchen counter staring at me. I roll my eyes and throw my hands up in the air, "What?" He just stands there looking at me with this smirk on his face and if I wasn't in such a hurry, I would stop and slap it right off of him. "Look I am late, like really late." I look away from him and continue to search for my keys.

He comes over closer to me and I hear something dangling in his hand in mid air. I look up and sure enough he has my keys. I go to reach for them however he only holds them up higher. "Why do you have to leave? You should stay here with me after all I am cooking breakfast."

I look over into the kitchen and sure enough he is cooking up something. I take a moment and sniff in the sweet savory of the bacon and eggs. "I would love to stay but I am already late and I appreciate you cooking but I so can't eat that." 

His smile quickly fades. "So be late, what are they going to do drop you and you need to eat."

I narrow my eyes and smirk back at him. "Yes they can drop me." I snap my fingers at him. "Just like that."

"So let me drive and you eat." He continues to hold his hand up so that I can't get the keys from him.

"Just give me the fucking keys already." I jump up to get them however he stretches his arm farther back.

"Why are you cussing at me?" He gives me this stern look.

I close my eyes and inhale and then exhale slowly. I glare back into his eyes. "Just give me the keys. Please." I am about to lose my patience with him. But he shakes his head no. "Fine...for fuck's sake, I don't have time for this shit right now; you want to drive then by all means fucking drive but you better have your foot on the damn gas because I need to be there pronto."

A huge smile forms on his face. I watch him throw his clothes on in two seconds and he even grabbed the damn plate of food before heading out. As soon as he gets in the car, he hands me the plate. "Here you need to eat something."

I hold up the banana and sneer back at him. Apparently he didn't like that and practically shoves the plate at me. I roll my eyes and take the damn fork and eat the eggs. When I place the plate on the dash, he glares back over at me.

"Oh my freaking God! What the fuck is with you. Look I don't need grease on my stomach alright." We pull up to the front door and I open the door to get out. His hand reaches out to stop me. I turn to look back at him. "Ok fine." I pick up the one piece and only the one piece and shove it in my mouth. "Are you happy now," I say with a mouth full of greasy bacon. "Don't worry about picking me up, I will have someone bring me home." I jump out and slam the door before he can reply.

I run up the steps and throw the door open. I don't bother taking the elevator; instead I take the steps running all the way up. I get to the door and of course it is already shut. I open it and let it shut quietly behind me. I throw my bag to the side and run up and get in line. I was hoping Davenport wouldn't see me but I couldn't get that freaking lucky. "Everyone please take your spots, Violet please see me outside."

I let out all the air I have left in my lungs and look around the room. Everyone glances over my way but quickly go to their spots to practice. I walk slowly out the door with my hands behind my back. When he door shuts he doesn't hold back at all. "Dammit Violet, I can't keep holding your spot open. Apparently you really don't want to be here. You have other things going on that must be more important."

I keep shaking my head no. "I'm sorry that I am late. Look the traffic was hor..."

"Stop...Violet just stop. We all travel to get here. We all have our own issues but you continue to come in late. There are people in there that are dying to be on that stage in your spot. People that would kill over it and you my sweet girl just...you just don't care anymore."

I want to protest and I should but something inside of me just wants to give in. My eyes fill with tears. I have been working my ass off to be here. I have pushed and pushed myself to be the best and he is right people would kill for my spot. I lick my lips and bite my bottom lip as it trembles slightly. I then look down at the floor and nod slowly as I look back up at him. "You are right. I don't have an excuse for being late. I just...I just feel that I am so overwhelmed with everything and I am trying so hard to keep up but," I sigh again and fight back the tears. "You are right...I don't deserve to be here." I slowly touch his chest and tap lightly. "Thank you for giving me the opportunity to dance with the Company. Thanks for taking care of me when I needed it the most." I withdrawal my hands from his chest and turn to leave before I change my mind.

"Where are you going Violet? We have a show to do. We can't do this without you."

I turn back around to look at him. "You don't really need me. Look I am stalling you guys. You guys will do great without me. I just can't do this anymore." I take off running and I don't stop until the air outside consumes me. I start to walk down the road and then a slight jog before running at full speed. I have no clue where I am going but I know it will be far away from here. I run until I find myself at the park and come to a halt as I reach this huge oak tree. I turn and slide down the trunk towards the ground and let the tears flow. I can't believe that I just walked out like it was nothing. I have been practicing for years and years to be where I am today and I just walked out. Scarlett and Mekhi are going to be so livid. I will never hear the end of it.

I am not sure how long I sit there underneath the tree. I should go home but I feel like I could use a drink. Hell, I might actually get fucked up because it's not like I have anywhere I got to be. I am not really dressed to go out but I don't really care at this point what I really look like. I get up and start walking. I find this side bar and go in.

The place is a little gloomy for my taste and looks really out dated. There are a few guys in the back playing pool and a few at the bar drinking. I walk up to the bar and take a seat on one of the stools.

"Hey there little lady, what can I get you?" The bar tender asks with a smug smile. He is probably in his late fifties and killing a goatee, not to mention the long braid in the back. His hair looks just about as long as mine if not longer. He has on this tight black button up shirt but the top three buttons are not even done and black leather vest matches his whole personality.

I sigh and let out a light groan, "Something strong...anything will do."

I watch as he fixes me a shot and I don't bother to ask what it is. The moment he sits it down, I pick it up and drink it all down in one sip. Holy hell it burns as it goes down burning my insides. I cough a few times and open my mouth trying to get air out. Dear God...I think I just might die from that. However I sit the glass down and ask for another one.

He shakes his head but smiles and kindly pours me another one. "Rough day little lady?"

"You can say that again. I just kissed my whole career right out the door." I feel the tears well up in my eyes as I pick up the shot glass  back up and raise it in the air towards him and then I down it. Holy hell it doesn't get any better. "How about you just keep it coming till I can't sit any longer."

"Little Lady those shots are five dollars each, you know." He raises his eyebrows questioning me if I can afford that many shots.

I open up my purse and throw out a fifty dollar bill. I know at the moment that I don't look like that I have any money however I have more than enough to get me very tipsy. "Whatever, just pour me another one."

He holds up the fifty in the air and looks it over to make sure that it is real. He grins ear to ear and looks back at me like I must be crazy. I eye him down and he reluctantly pours me another one. Three down...fifteen dollars, I can do at least another seven before I have to dig out another bill. I get the fifth one down and a song comes over the speaker that gets my attention.

"Oh my god...I so...love...this...song!!!" I stand up and go over to the dance floor and start to dance as if I totally lost my freaking mind. I jump around and shake what I got. I don't pay attention as the older men at the bar eye me. I even dance over to some to get them to get up and dance with me. Luckily for me two of the guys are interested and I dance with them. I fall into the one but quickly stand back up. "Oops...s...sorry, please for...for...give me sir." I hiccup and start giggling.

Once the song ends I make a pouty face. "Aw...darn...I was loving...that." I walk over to the bar and the guy pours me another shot. This time I hardly even notice the burn going down. I close my eyes briefly and start giggling. My phone keeps buzzing like crazy and I turn it over and set it down on the bar so that I can't see who is calling me. I know it is Eli wondering where I am but I have you to know he is not my keeper and we are not even really dating so he will be just fine.

I feel an arm come up behind me and wrapping around my waste. I turn to see the one older gentleman that I was dancing with just a few seconds ago. "You want to dance some more. My buddy is putting on some more music." Once the music starts to play, I let him guide me back over to the dance floor. The three of us dance another two songs. They keep handing me more shots and I can't count how many I actually had. I do know that the room around me is starting to go blurry and I feel so light headed that I need to sit down. I let the two guys take me over to a back booth.

"Here you go honey...sit right here now we will take good care of you."

"I'm sure you will but I think I need to be going." I stand back up and sway over to the bar to grab my phone and nod at the bar tender. "Tha...anks for...the...dr...drinks." I throw my hand up and head out the door. The night air catches my breath and burns my eyes. I stumble over to the pole and try to hold my hand up for a cap. To my surprise the two guys come out and are laughing as they walk over towards me.

The bigger one holds out his hand towards me and if wanting to pull me in to him. "Hey honey, you need a ride home. My truck is right around the corner."

"Uhm...I better not. I just need to get a cab." I hold my hand up and the one guy reaches over and takes it down. He holds it in his hand for a few seconds.

He leans in closer to me. "Come on sweetheart, let us take you home."

I lose my balance and bump into the other guy and then the both of them at the same time reach out to guide me over to their truck. The truck was over on the next street and I didn't realize how messed up I really was as they pull me along. All I can see around me is smearing lights above from the street lights and all the noise from the city is overwhelming. "I'm so...sorry...I...I...can't go with you guys. Please I just need to get a cab ride home." I throw my hand up as if hailing for a taxi as if one is close by.

They both laugh in unison. The one guy runs around and jumps in the driver seat and has his arms reached out for me to pull me in as the other guy is behind me trying to force me into the truck. I start to struggle in his grasp and I don't even realize that I am screaming for them to stop. The both of them are yelling and cussing at me to just get in the fucking truck and I am yelling for them to leave me the hell alone. I am not sure where it comes from but suddenly I can't hear anything as a gun had went off right next to my head. I happen to look up and the guy in front of me as a bullet hole right above his left eye and blood has splatters all in the cab of the truck.

Another gunshot rings out in the night and as I turn around the other guy is laying lifeless on the ground. I duck afraid that I am next in line to be shot but when I do, I fall hard to the pavement. I try to get up franticly and feel arms come around me to pull me back up. However, I have had one too many to drink and pass out in the arms of whoever has a hold of me.