Song: If I am being Honest- Anna Clendening

"Please will you fucking calm down for just a second and I will tell you."

I close my eyes momentarily and take in a deep breath before letting it all out. He thinks I am over reacting, really what does he think that I am going to do when he actually tells me everything. I slowly let out the air that I have been holding and open my eyes back up to see him still staring at me. He motions for me to sit down and I don't know why my body responds to him but I find myself sitting down on the edge of the chair. No way that I'm sitting on the bed at the moment because I have a feeling he will drop this topic and want to do other things. I think about the shower and even though I would love to have him touching me all over I need to know what the hell is going on. "Well spill..." I throw my hands out and then let them rest back on my lap.

He walks over to me and sits on the edge of the bed across from me to face me. He opens his mouth and then closes it before saying anything. I watch as his teeth sink into his bottom lip as he closes his eyes for a second before opening them back up. Instead of looking at me though, he looks at his hands that are fidgeting as he cups them together, interlocking his fingers. "I don't know what you want me to say," he sighs in frustration.

I don't let up. If this is going to go on any farther he has got to start being honest with me. "For starters...why were you really at the club? Why were you still watching me after you were told to stay away?"

He looks up at the ceiling as the one hand glides against his scalp. He shakes his head but then as he bites his bottom lip he forces out, "Because I couldn't just let you go."

"What?" I say with a little high pitch because I feel so confused right now. If he couldn't let me go then he should have never left. He should have at least fought to keep me.

"You wanted me out of your life and believe me I tried to go but dammit no matter what I did you where always there in my head, my every fucking thought. It was like you had a hold of me. I never stopped watching you alright. I wanted to make sure you were safe."

I slowly nod my head, not really in agreement or disagreement. "Why would I not be safe?" I don't give him time to answer before I shoot out the next question on my mind. "Were you still working for my parents then and even now?" I'm not sure which I wanted to hear first.

"Yes!" He quickly glances my way to see my reaction. "But not to watch you; they gave me other assignments to do. Mekhi said that you wanted nothing to do with me ever again and I thought he was lying but Scarlett confirmed that it was true. I thought you hated me and you should have; hell I don't blame you. I should have never betrayed you."

"So you kept tabs on me because you thought I would get hurt or something; why?" My voice continues to rise as I yell at him in frustration.

"And I was right wasn't I. If I had not been there you would have gotten in the car and had a wreck. Vi you were fucking drunk. Hell you fell for Christ sakes and look what happened." He motions to my ankle.

I bite my bottom lip in frustration as I dig my nails into the palms of my hands to keep me from lashing out at him. I can perfectly take damn well care of myself. My mind instantly rejects that thought. Shit maybe he is right, I'm a loss cause. "Did you tell them about me falling?"

He looks away from me and I can tell that he is trying to use his words carefully so that I won't lash out at him again. "Yes and no." He starts doing this gesturing thing with his hands as if that is going to make a difference. "Dr. Mateo needed more information and I told him he would have to get that from your parents. When he called them, they knew then but then Mekhi had called me and I had to tell him what happened?"

I feel a huge lump rise in the back of my throat. All of this feels so familiar like the very first time when I found out how he was working for my parents. I wonder if he will always lie to me; will I ever come first in his life but I know I won't they will always come before me.  "So you told them everything about that night."

"Not everything. I...I told them I just happened to be out and I saw you. Yes I told them you had been drinking and that I took the keys away from you. Come on I was there to rescue you. You know that right?"

"I don't need you to save me from myself or anyone Eli. I am not your problem."

He stops pacing the moment I tell him that I am not his problem. "I wanted to believe that too but I'm so in love with you so you see...it is my problem."

I let out a huff while I shake my head before asking, "Did you know Atticus was coming to get me?"

"No!" He shakes his head at the same time as he says it but it slowly turns into a nod. He starts pacing again. "Not at first but I knew they would be coming. I just wasn't expecting him and that soon."

"And now..."

"It's not what you think. I..."

"Eli...stop. Just tell me. You are still working for them, watching over me. I am not stupid. The moment you walked in that door there was tension between you and my mom. Don't fucking lie to me. Scarlett was the one paying you wasn't she and now what, they want to make some deal with you to continue to watching my every move because apparently I can't keep myself out of trouble?"

"Vi..."

"Why was your dad even here? What is really going on behind those closed doors that I am not allowed to know about?"

He sits back down across from me and leans over, his elbows are now on his knees and his hand covers over his eyes as if he feels a headache coming along. He rubs at his eyes for a second as his chest rises and falls again with the air intake. "My dad was here because he wants to open up a few clubs in California. They have all along the east coast and want to add a few on the west coast. Needless to say he wants me to go out and get them started. Your parents are helping him out with all of it, not that they need your parents help but he always turns to them when he needs anything."

"And why such a secret then. Why was I kept out of it?"

"Fuck!" He stands up and starts pacing back and forth before stopping in front of me. "Because I'm leaving out tonight to go to California and...and you are staying here to get the therapy you need."

I suddenly feel heat build up behind my eyes. There is a small sting in the bridge of my nose and I thought I would be a little stronger but I was wrong. I realize it was a deal that they had made. He might not tell me all of it but it was, the fight, everything was a fucking deal "So..." I look around the room and then back at him. "So that was a goodbye fuck. Wow...just fucking wow." I suddenly feel sick to my stomach as both my hand hold on to my stomach.

"Violet." He reaches out to me but I shove him away.

"No...You keep fucking with my head. I asked you to come here because I wanted you to be with me. I wanted us to work on us and reconnect , dammit I fucking care about you." I look up at him. "You knew before you even came here that you would not be staying...didn't you? And you wanted me to believe that we were alright, that everything was ok but it's not. That fight was about to see what was going to happen next wasn't it. You fucking loss to him so now you have to leave. You mock me for doing what they tell me to do...you think I should stand up to them and then here you are...you fucking hypocrite."

While I was yelling at him, he gets up and starts walking around the room as if looking for something to smash. The moment I call him a hypocrite he is walking back over to me and leaning into. His lips are only a few inches away from mine. His eyes glare back into me and in that moment I feel like I just might crumble. I hit the right nerve apparently because if looks could actually kill this might just be it. "I did fucking stand up to him. I got my ass kicked alright. Dammit to hell...shit...look the fight had nothing to do with me leaving. I tried to explain to them that I would fight for you, to always be there to protect you. I asked for the fight. I knew my dad wanted to expand more in California, I just wasn't expecting them to want me to go. You know I have to go right?" He breaks eye contact. "Hell, it's probably best at the moment."

My hand comes so quickly meeting the side of his cheek. "For the best?" My hand sits there for a second, not daring to move as his hand reaches over mine. I continue to glare at him. "For who? You or me? And no...you don't have to go. You could have said no. You could have easily stood up to all of them and said no...but you didn't and you won't." I let go to wipe off the tears from my own cheek. "You won't because you will do as you are told. We are like fucking puppets to them and we let them pull the strings and give them the control over our lives like we have no fucking say in anything."

"Violet...you know I can't say no. I will be gone for a few weeks. I promise I will be back as soon as everything is straightened out."

Tears continue to roll down my cheeks as my head slowly nods in realization of our lives. "I think you should go on and go." I turn my whole body to the side, shutting him out as I wipe my cheek with the palm of my hand.

He squats down in front of me and takes my hand. "Violet I don't want to leave like this." He tries to lean into kiss me and I tilt my head while his lips find the side of my cheek. "At least let me kiss you bye the right way."

I shrug. "You already did...you got the good bye fuck that you wanted." My eyes cast away from him. I know if I look up into those eyes of his I will never let him go. "Please just go."

He quickly stands up. "Wow...just fucking wow. You think that I did that because I was leaving you...dammit when are you going to realize that I fucking love you. I'm coming back for you. You know that right. This between you and me...this is not over."

I slowly look into his eyes. I don't say a word as I watch him grab up his clothes. When he gets to the door he stops and looks back over to me waiting on me to beckon him back, but I don't. Hot tears fill my eyes as I glare a hole right through him. Once the door closes behind him I whisper out loud, "And now it is."

He could have easily said no. He could have told them to take every fucking job and shove it up their ass but he never will do that. He could have easily said no because he loved me too much and couldn't leave my side. He could have said and done everything in his power to stay with me but he didn't. He will continue to let them pull the strings even if it costs him everything that he loves.

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Author's Note:

Do you think this will be the end of Eli?

Should they find a way or should she just move on with her life?