Song: Perfect doesn't last – Beth Crowley

We have been getting along so much better. Gabe is back to his normal self again but I know it will only last for so long. Something will spark and he will get pissed off and take it out on me but I am hoping since I stood up to him the last time he will realize that I am done taking shit off of him. I also have to take my parents into consideration. I just know that if I don't take care of this they will in the long run.

We wake up early and go to the studio to do our final practice. Tonight is our last night of the play. After this we will have a good month break or two before auditioning for the next play. It will be a nice few days off and I think I might just go back home for a little while just to get away. We do the routine twice then take a break.

As we are sitting in the corner all alone eating a turkey wrap, Gabe reaches over and touches my lips to wipe off the remains of the light mayo that was left behind. "God you are beautiful...what do you say about us leaving here tomorrow maybe we can go to Paris or Milan or somewhere for the week." He always spurs thing on me like this and just expects me to jump when he says to jump however I had already made plans for my break. I just haven't made him aware of them.

"Sounds nice however I have planned on going back home to visit next week. I figured I needed to go back for a few days to clear my head."

I see the color fade from his cheeks. He thinks that I have betrayed him for not talking to him about this first. "When were you going to tell me this?" he says accusing me already before I can even say anything.

I roll my eyes while letting out a sigh, "I am now. Look it will do us both some good to have a small break don't you think?" I try to reach out to his hand but he pulls away from me.

"Whatever...you think this will make any difference. What your parents will convince you not to be with me. Come on Vi...why are you really going?" He stands up and throws the wrapper in the trash. I hate when he is this way with me. I hate when he treats me like I'm a child or less than him. I stand up to throw my trash away and walk over to him. He is staring into the mirror glaring into my reflection.

I get that that he is pissed but he knows this is what we both need at the moment. "I told you, I think it will do us some good. I will only be gone for like a week and then when I come back we can audition again alright." I try reaching towards him, however he takes a step forward. "Look let's not argue about this right now. We have one more show and let's make it the best we ever done all right." I just want to drop the subject for now and focus on what needs to be done.

He turns around and grabs me by the arms with force, digging his nails into my arm. "Fine...but tell me one thing Vi...you are coming back to me right."

My face grimaces in pain. I take a deep breath, "Yes...I am coming back...I promise." I lean over and kiss him to reassure him.

Even though a part of me has a feeling that when I come back all of this will be different. Deep down I know we are not going to stay together but right now I just don't want to think about it mostly because for tonight we need to be together for the performance.

There are a few hours between practice and the show and we decide to go home. He starts kissing me the moment we get into the apartment. I embrace this love, his love. It's not perfect but it's ours. I know we will find away to make it work. I wrap my arms and legs around him and he carries me to the couch. His hands pull my hair and forces me to tilt it just right for him to kiss my lips and then down my neck. I rush to get his shirt off while he swiftly pulls off mine. Seconds later we are pulling each other's pants off. I am grabbing him and he is grabbing me.

"Don't ever leave me Vi...you are mine. I want you more than anything."

"I don't plan on leaving you Gabe; I love you too." I lean in and kiss him. I let him have all of me. I let him take me over the edge. I want to say that he loves me just as much but there is just an uneasy vibe that he puts off.

Once he goes he stands up and walks down the hallway naked to the bathroom. I hear him turn on the shower and jump in. When he comes back out he looks over at me. "You should take a quick shower before we have to go back."

"Of course," I whisper and stand up and walk past him. I don't know why it is such a big deal to him if I take a shower or not but I turn on the water to let it get hot and then jump in. I washed his scent all away from me. When I get out to dry off, I look into the mirror at my frail body. Some people will see me as skin and bones and maybe that is why I bruise so easily but in order to be the best dancer I have to watch my weight. I spot the bruises right away and grab the concealer to start to cover them up. There is no way that I can go up on that stage for everyone to see the abuse. I finish up before getting dressed and then start to work on my hair, pulling it all back into a tight bun on top of my head.

Once all of it is up, I start to add the make up to my face fighting back a few of the tears that want to come. I step out of the room and he is already pacing the floor back and forth. I see it in his whole body appearance that he is irritated.  "Finally! Dear god you always take forever." I hear the sarcasm in his voice.

I try to ignore the whole attitude, afterall he was the 9ne who wanted me to take a shower. "Yeah...well I have to look good."

"And you can finish getting ready at the theater." He looks over at the clock on the wall and the gestures to his wrist as if he is wearing a freaking watch. "If we don't leave now we will be late." I don't argue with him but as I look at the clock on the wall we still have an hour to go which is plenty of time to get there.

 We head out the door and all the way there he looks pissed off about something and I am so sure it is something that I did and don't even realize it. I'm sure he will mention it before the night is over. Once we get to the theater he runs off to the dressing room to get ready. I go my way to the dressing room and look myself over and then put on the costume.

When the curtain goes up the group is dancing; Gabe looks at me and gives me a quick smile. "You ready for this babe...see you in a few seconds." He turns and runs off the moment his feet hit the floor; he is dancing so gracefully. He has been dancing for years now and it really shows, especially his dedication to all the moves. He is such a perfectionist and demandsthat I be just as good.

 I can't say much about that though because I am just as bad. I was raised to do my very best and to give it my all and that is exactly what I plan to do. On cue, I dance out onto the stage to meet him in the middle. I let him guide me along. I love the way his hands touch me just enough to let me know that he has me. We dance and the audience applauses and then we get off stage for the next scene.

"Dear God Vi...what is with you tonight? I thought you for sure wanted to do your best you are fucking slacking out there." He doesn't even bother looking at me. His eyes are focused on Mariam, who is dancing on stage.

I want to slap the hell out of him and force him to look at me instead of her but instead I grot my teeth. "Excuse me...are you fucking kidding me, Gabe I am busting my ass off out there. It's fucking perfect what the hell is your problem?"

"Everything...don't you realize that there are important people out there watching us." He motions towards the audience. "Come on wouldn't it be awesome for someone to sign us on permanently and this is not your best work. You need to step it up a notch." He hears his cue and run off before I can even respond.

I stand there feeling miserable, feeling the tears sting my eyes. He always finds away to make me feel like shit. I get that he wants to be signed on, I so get that. I do as well but I have been busting my ass off for months now and I am giving it my all and quite frankly it just pisses me off the way he treated me as if I was merely an understudy. I wait for my cue and then head out to meet him. I put on a fake smile to match his.

I really think this is all related to the fact that I did not tell him that I plan to go home for a while and didn't ask him to go. I would have asked him but I have a feeling that if I take him home he might not come back because they will find a good enough reason to take him out. I dance to the music and give it my all. He is the one not even paying attention, his eyes keep roaming to see where she is.

 On the final move I am to run across the stage and he is to pick me up, twirl around a few times and then when he brings me down to be in a full spin. We have been practicing this so much that I could do it in my sleep. I do exactly what I am supposed to do. I let him lift me up and I feel the air embrace me as I spin in his hold. As I come down, I am not sure what happens but pain radiates from my foot all the way up my leg.

 I go down hard. I try so hard not to cry out in pain but the pain is so surreal. Thankfully that is the end and the curtains go down. We only have a second to line up to do the final bow. However when I go to stand up, I fall back to the floor. My hands quickly go to my ankle in agonizing pain.