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"He does not want me. You know, I will return to the church." Young Uhtred spoke with spitefulness. Nilsa frowned and reached out to comfort him when the teen slapped her hand away harshly, she hissed at the painful sting and cradled her hand to her chest. She felt her heart shatter, she had assumed he had gotten over the anger directed at her.

"Not like I was willing to take an arrow for you or anything." She spoke bitterly and felt a sort of satisfaction when the teen flinched at the reminder. Finan glanced at her in worry before glaring at the boy, he would not tolerate him harming her.

"And that's what you want, is it? To run away? To abuse those trying to comfort you?" Finan added the last sentence coldly as the boy looked away. She only hoped he was using his grief to act out and that he had truly liked her, she couldn't live with the thought that Uhtred's son hated her.

"I remind him of his defeat and of Father Beocca's sacrifice." She was startled when she felt a gentle hand grab her wrist and pull it from her chest, she looked to her right and relaxed when she realized it was Sihtric. The Dane frowned as he inspected the bright red spot and quickly glanced at her when she hissed.

"I am fine, Sihtric. It only stings now." Sihtric didn't seem convinced as his piercingly gorgeous eyes looked at her in doubt.

"I will get Osferth," She sighed and stopped the man. "Nils, he might have something for the sting." She melted at the nickname and sent him a reassuring smile.

"Thank you, Sihtric. But I am fine, I swear." She leaned up to kiss his cheek and felt him gasp in shock, she hadn't realized the power she held over these warriors. She kinda liked it. He shooed the Dane off with dazed eyes making her giggle, Finan shook his head at the two as he turned back to the teen.

"Oh! The blindness of youth. Uhtred is a warrior and a father. It was his job to save you and he could not. That's what eats at him." Finan informed the teen.

"As a warrior perhaps, but not as a father. He has never been a father." Nilsa scowled at the claim and was ready to defend her husband and his reasoning when Finan stepped in.

"Because he was absent? Do you know how many battles he has fought? How many times he sworn oaths and risked his life for your Christian kings at the cost of his own hopes and comfort? I met your father as a slave when we had...nothing." Nilsa moved to the Irishman's side when she noticed him allowing the memories to resurface from his trauma, she rubbed his arm gently as she gazed at him softly. Finan cleared his throat and leaned into her for silent comfort.

"Now, you look at what you lack, not what he has given to others. He fights for Bebbanburg, not for himself, but for you. To give you the legacy he never had." Finan grabs the cross on Young Uhtred's neck. "I swear...he is a great man...and his blood runs in your veins. You should be proud to follow him." Finan guides her away with him as the teen stands alone. Osferth perks up when he notices her sitting beside him and motions to see her hand. She sent Sihtric a betrayed look when he glanced away with a smile.

"I know, Sihtric told me. It only stings. This will help." Osferth spoke quickly before she could reject his help. She sighed in defeat and watched as the monk gently rubbed some sort of paste into her skin, true to his word, the sting numbed into nothing. She thanked him and kissed his cheek, she would allow them to make the move as she wasn't sold on the idea of this many men loving her.

She turns to see Uhtred walking back to camp and happily moves to his side, Uhtred loops his arm around her waist as he whispers to Finan.

"The men can no longer go on wandering in the wilderness like this. They will need silver." Uhtred mumbled as he glanced around. "And no, Nil, we are not using your silver." She pouted when he once again denied her wealth, she did not need it. She didn't understand why he was so adamant about not taking it.

"There'll be an opportunity to earn it, we're warriors. There's always battles to fight." Finan said casually and reached out to swat the bee out of her hair, she giggled at him once the insect flew away.

The universe has granted them some good luck.

"To fight, men need a lord who can lead them into battle without fear. I'm tired. My reputation is waning." Uhtred claimed as he tapped her side absentmindedly. She rubbed his hand with a small frown, she hated that he felt like that.

"These men depend on you." Uhtred sighs.

"I know what you do, Finan. I know what you say to them. I'm finished with battles. I thought that my destiny was to return to my home. I have not. I have lost my lands. I've lost my name. I can no longer call myself Uhtred of Bebbanburg. I am nothing. If men want to leave me, you should let them go. I can no longer be their lord." Uhtred spoke and guided his wife away.

She followed her husband to the hill, she knew he needed to speak more about all of this but she would never push him into doing so. She watched as he began to dig the soil with his dagger, he let out a cry as he buried the cross. She clutched the hammer pendant that belonged to Uhtred, they had yet to trade back necklaces.

"Beocca would not want you to starve or stay destroyed by grief." Finan spoke as he moved beside Uhtred.

"He held me on the ramparts when Earl Ragnar rode to Bebbanburg with the head of my brother. When my father named me Uhtred in his stead and told me to die for Bebbanburg. Beocca was at my side. He put me into the water to baptize me, and he held me under for so long that I nearly drowned while he prayed to his God. He saved my life as a boy and as a man...many times." Uhtred spoke softly as he played with her fingers, she shared a sad look with Finan as they looked at Uhtred.

"He was like a father." Uhtred exhaled slowly and nodded. Her heart broke when he began to cry, she watched as Finan hugged him as he sobbed. Uhtred pulled away to wrap his arms around her waist and buried his face in her chest, she held him tightly to bring as much comfort as possible. "Hey, it's alright." Finan says quietly.

"He'll have no grave...no place blessed by his God." Uhtred sobbed into her chest as he attempted to curl into her as if he were trying to disappear into her embrace. Finan rubbed his friend's back as he blinked away tears.

"He is with God now and with your sister. He is at...peace." Nilsa made a wounded noise when she noticed Finan crying too, she held out her arm for him to join. Uhtred moved one arm to wrap around Finan's waist as she guided his head to rest on her chest alongside Uhtred. She stroked their hair as they mourned their friend, she kissed both of their heads as they melted into her touch.

"Hm? I'm sure he'd be touched by how you mourn for him while we're stuck in the middle of nowhere. But if he were here now, he would tell you this is not the end. We will gather more men." Finan speaks again once they pull away, he places his hand on Uhtred's heart as Uhtred exhales. "We will return with an army and batter down the gates."

"Yeah." Uhtred spoke softly as he was hugged by Finan.