～Ella～

When I went about forty-eight hours back, I couldn't believe I did what I did. It felt surreal, like in a dream where I acted the way I thought only in films did. But the pain in my thigh reminded me it was all true. But it was worth it, I didn't regret it, and if I had to be honest, I was kind of proud of myself.

But Dahlia warned me that when Axton woke up, he wouldn't be that enthusiastic about my suicidal mission, as how Cade labeled it.

So, I was prepared for harsh behavior, and at some point, I would justify it, given that Axton was shot and his club destroyed. Not to mention about the victims who lost their lives that night. But when I heard him blaming Cade for my actions, I couldn't suppress the frustration, sadness, and drops of anger that I felt. Why did this man have to be such a complicated ass?

It might have been too early to talk to him—because when I accidentally... okay, when I was eavesdropping from the second floor of the scene with Cade, I also saw the FBI agent who came to the house. That meant more troubles, I guessed, in addition to the whole horror that happened. 

But then I heard Axton coming back, and I just wanted to clear it all up.

I knocked on his door and waited a few seconds for a response. None followed, so I knocked again and slowly opened the door.

Axton was in the bathroom taking a shower, which wouldn't have been awkward at all if the walls weren't made of glass, like many of the walls in this house.

He looked at me; it was too late to go out and pretend I never went. Or I could have done it anyway, but instead, I stood in his doorway frozen, trying only to keep my eyes on the floor.

But as Axton walked towards me, picking up a towel along the way, my disobedient eyes began to slide up his wet body. He didn't make much effort to hide his nakedness; in fact, he didn't seem uncomfortable at all.

I completely forgot what I was there for, extremely obscene thoughts took over my mind. The tiny droplets that ran down his chest tracing their way down to his v-line, made me imagine my fingers retracing their path all the way to his hard manhood. I wondered how it would feel in my hand. Damn, I wondered how it would taste in my mouth.

Fucking lustful thoughts! So inappropriate at this point.

Axton finally stopped in front of me, a little closer than I was comfortable with, and only then fully encircled his waist with the white towel.

"What are you doing here?"

I wanted to look confidently into his eyes, but my gaze stood still on his hot torso instead.

"I..." Look up, Ella! "I..."

His silence made me even more nervous now.

"I don't think you should wet your wound," was all I muttered—at least a meaningful statement.

"Did you finish thinking?"

Really? That came like a slap. At least it took me out of the stupid thoughts. Finally, I looked into his eyes. "No, I did not. I stay behind my words, decisions, and actions. But you don't have to blame other people for that. Cade had nothing to do with my coming back for you."

"Don't tell me who's to blame for what. When I say something, it should happen that way. No self-will, no own decisions, no thinking. Clear?"

I didn't expect some gratitude or anything nice, but how could someone turn things that way?

"Clear," I answered. "Next time, I'll leave you to bleed to death."

I walked out and shut the door before Axton's face. Wrong move, maybe, but I didn't really care much.

Why did I have to talk to him? To walk out with him... with them, in the first place? To hope that somehow, in this ridiculous situation, I can find friends and a normal life? Why did I have to think at all, as Axton put it? When the only thing I should do was to be thankful that I was alive, for good or for bad, and to stay calm, invisible, and just to exist in this house.

While I walked towards the lake, lost in thoughts, I saw Amara near the shore. My first instinct was to turn my way back to the house, but then I approached the creature with timid steps.

She didn't move, and I crouched in front. "Hey. You won't eat me, right?"

The alligator opened its mouth and moved its head a little up. I wasn't sure what that meant, but I guessed if she wanted to eat me up, she would have walked out of the water in a split second to do the job.

I reached out to her and stroked her muzzle. It seemed that she closed her eyes. "You wanted me to pet you, didn't you?"

She moved slightly towards me and put one paw on the land. It was like she was communicating with me.

I was probably going crazy, which wasn't really out of the question in my life. The very fact that I was touching this beast could make me look like a madman.

Anyway, for some reason, I didn't feel scared. "You are also not afraid of me, right? We can make it friends, huh? I know you already have one, but he is a sick asshole. You know that? Yes, he is. Don't be mad at me, but I am telling the truth. A sick ungrateful asshole.

"But I was worried about him. I couldn't leave him there. Don't ask me, I don't know why. He started to bring everyone out, and he himself became a target for the bullets. I feel safe with him. Despite his crazy and rude temper, I don't want him to die.

"Although you can bite him a little... He deserves that! Because he's an ass. But we've already cleared that up. You know what I'm talking about, right?"

"Do you really think she could understand you?"

"Oh my—" I couldn't finish my verbal reaction to Axton's words that suddenly came from behind because I ended up falling into the cold water of the lake.

"Help!" I screamed and started throwing my arms around.

I felt Amara's rough skin against my leg, but the fear of drowning was stronger at that moment.

"Axton, help!" I screamed and felt myself start to swallow water.

Perhaps at this point, Axton realized I couldn't swim and jumped into the water towards me.

"I got you," he said.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and locked my legs around his waist. "Don't let me go. Don't let me go. I'm going to drown..."

"If you strangle me, you'll drown anyway."

His laughter could not escape me. Was there anything funny about that?

I released my feet, still no bottom below. Axton moved my hands away, and before my heart could stop with fear, he took me ashore. Seconds later, he came out, too.

We faced each other. I moved my hair that was in front of my face and ran my hands through it. "Thanks."

Axton giggled undisguised. "You look like a wet rat."

My lips betrayed a little smile. "You look like one, too." Then I narrowed my eyes, looking intently in his. "But I said thanks."

"Why are you so stubborn, love?"

"I am not stubborn. It's just... you are..."

"An asshole?"

He obviously has heard me anyway. "Ungreatful asshole," I corrected him, looking down.

"Let's finish the topic." Axton lifted my chin up. "Don't you ever dare to play as a rescuer again—not for me, nor even for the president, while you are under my protection. That's it."

"Do you want me to apologize for saving your life?"

"Now we start to speak the same language."

"Are you kidding me?" That man was insane. "I refuse to apologize! Even more—I insist for you to thank me for saving your ass!"

"I won't thank anyone for anything, even less you. I am way too far from being thankful for you risking your fucking life. When I want to know you are safe, I want to know that you are safe."

"Oh, God! You are such a toxic person!"

"You wanted an angel? Here is some advice—next time, don't choose a mobster for a husband."

That hit me. Hard. "You know what, Axton?" I asked him with watery eyes and removed his hand that was still holding my chin. "You got what you wanted. Right now, I sincerely apologize that I saved your damn life."

"Ella—"

I didn't wait for Axton's response. I returned to my room just to exist.