I was nervous beyond myself.

I started solving an equation to make time pass faster as the plane flew unbearably slowly among the clouds to take me to the man I loved. But I couldn't focus. I started reading instead, but that was worse. I tried to force myself asleep, and somehow managed, waking up as the plane touched the ground.

Shit!

I'm here! I'm here! And he's in there! In the building, waiting for me!!

As soon as the plane landed, I turned on my phone and signed in on Facebook. He had sent me a picture of the arrivals area one hour ago.

Tobirama: This is fucking agony.

I felt a pleasant surge in my stomach, and allowed myself to feel a tiny, tiny bit more hope than before. What if he was single? What if he liked me? What if...

Okay, too much.

I forced myself to stay seated, seeing no point in standing up yet as they hadn't opened the doors, and I hated the crowding that occurred when everyone tried to force themselves out of the aircraft simultaneously. I'd rather wait a few extra minutes. I opened my backpack and took out my brush, undid my hairclip, brushed my hair that had become messed up after my nap, put it up my clip again before putting the brush back into my bag, taking a chewing gum before closing it. I took a deep breath, stood up and got out.

I went to the luggage area to get my suitcase. The wait was agony, so I texted Tobirama on Facebook while waiting.

Me: Landed. Waiting for luggage <3

Tobirama: Fuck, I'm nervous <3

I bit my lip. Do it... Do it!

Me: You're hot when you're nervous :* <3

Tobirama: Stop it.

My heart sank.

Tobirama: Or I'll have to drag you into a bathroom and fuck you first thing I do.

Oh...

Tobirama: And we don't want that, do we? <3

Me: Oh, absolutely not <3

Tobirama: But if you're a good boy...

Shit.

Tobirama: I'll fuck you at my place.

Me: Anything for you, Anthony.

Tobirama: Fuck, when you call me that...

I smiled, beyond myself.

"Ehh, sir?" I looked up. A member of staff pointed to the luggage band where my little suitcase was going round and round, alone. Everyone else had already taken their luggage and left.

"Shit!!" I blurted out and ran to grab it, throwing my chewing gum away along the way.

I looked down as I walked through the five million automatic doors that separated the luggage area from the arrivals area, taking several deep breaths through gritted teeth. I had no idea which one was the final door, so suddenly, I just stood in the arrivals area, looking out over the sea of people waiting for their loved ones.

Everything went in slow motion. I didn't even have to look for him. I immediately saw him. He was standing up, clad in black suit pants, polished shoes and a white coat. His hair reached his shoulders now and was loose and shiny. And his eyes... I had forgotten how piercing they were, looking straight into my soul where I had nothing I wanted to hide from him. In his hand, he held a single, apricot-coloured rose with wonderfully dark leaves.

I wanted to run to him. I wanted to run to him and collide with him. But instead, I sunk down to my knees, hid my face in my hands and burst out in tears. I heard running footsteps, and it didn't even take two seconds before I felt a pair of strong arms around me.

I put my arms around his shoulders, buried my face in his hair.

"Malcolm", he murmured. He knew exactly what he did when he called me that. "Malcolm, Malcolm, Malcolm. Let me look at you."

He held me at arm's length. His face was beautiful, so, so beautiful but still he looked at me as if I was the most precious thing in his world. He pulled his fingers through my hair, that was tumbling down my back from the hair clip.

"Suits you", he murmured.

His own hair had grown quite a bit, and he held it up in a low, neat ponytail. I touched it tentatively, laughing shyly to his soft humm. He took my hand in one of his, gave me the rose which caused me to blush, then took my suitcase in his other hand and we walked out of the airport hand-in-hand. It was raining outside, and he took a little umbrella from his pocket, letting me crook my arm over his as he held the umbrella and we could no longer hold hands. We laughed as the little umbrella failed at its job the strong wind, and in the end he just gave up, put it back into his pocket, grabbed my chin and kissed me in the rain. I kissed him back, my hands on his arms, his arms around my waist as the rain soaked us, erased everything that was bad from our souls. Dripping wet, we sat down in his large car and he drove us to his apartment.

We talked and talked. He told me what he'd been up to. I told him I'd started over with my education, that I had done one year if my masters and would be done by next Christmas. I told him about how I'd developed a lot of anxiety regarding sex due to the trauma I couldn't remember that still somehow caught up to me after I had moved from here, how frustrated I was because I'd been fine just after I'd woken up after having lost my memory, but that my psychiatrist had explained some trauma reactions can come after some time. That I really liked when we'd written heated messages but I didn't know how I'd manage having sex with him. He took my hand, kissed it, said we would take time, work on it together, one step at a time.

"I know I should probably add 'And if we can never have sex, that's fine', but even if that's true, I have too much faith in you to say that. If that is what you want."

I thought that was an incredibly sweet thing to say.

And then I made my big revelation.

"Tobirama."

"Mmm", he said, sipping some coffee that he'd made for himself. I held my hands on my tea mug. "I'm moving." He looked up. "I'm doing the rest of the semester on distance. Then, I'll do my final year at the university here. My old one. I have an apartment I'm going to rent. I want to move here permanently."

He just stared, lips slightly parted. Then, he stood up, went to my side of the kitchen table in his new apartment and lifted me up. Twirled me around.

His laugh was like a waterfall, and incredibly contagious. I laughed with him, tears of happiness streaming down my face.

My laugh was instantaneously silenced when he kissed me.

We did so many things together, even if we didn't attempt sex yet.

He helped me install myself in my new apartment. We went to IKEA together. I made us dinner as he screwed the furniture together, sitting on my floor. We went for coffee with Mr Oliver. Both of us cried as we hugged, even if I couldn't remember him, and I could see Tobirama dry some tears as well. Tobirama said he wanted to give me a housewarming gift, so he blindfolded me and sat me down in the passenger seat of his car and drove. When we stopped, he helped me out and I removed the blindfolds. We stood outside a vast plant shop, like an IKEA made of glass with just plants and trees and flowers.

"Chose whatever you want", he said.

I did. We went back to my place, turned my apartment into a rainforest. One evening, we invited Mr Oliver over to Tobirama's apartment and had dinner, the three of us. I became incredibly shy of him for some reason, which seemed to make Tobirama remarkably hot. I saw he clenched his teeth together, put his hand on the table and clenched that as well. And Mr Oliver noted, because suddenly, he took Tobirama's hand, his palm against the back of it, massaged it with his thumb. I just stared. Oh, fuuuck... But before I even had time to think, Mr Oliver bent forwards and kissed the man I loved.

Tobirama was too hungry to stop, putting his hand in Mr Oliver's hair and pushed him closer.

"Mmm..." Tobirama went.

"Boys..." I whispered.

My breathing became heavier as they kissed in front of me. It was unbearable. I moaned, pulled down my trousers, then sighed as I started masturbating to Tobirama's and Mr Oliver's softly wrestling tongues. I saw Tobirama tried to let his own hand slide down as well, but Mr Oliver stopped him, denied him anything more than what he was already given. Tobirama was a moaning, shivering mess and so was I. The only one who was quiet was the former teacher whom I could not remember.

In the end, I couldn't stand it, which I knew was the effect Mr Oliver wanted. I stood up and walked to them, pushed them apart, wanting to be kissed. Tobirama grabbed my waist, pulled me to him so I was sitting in his lap, back to him. Mr Oliver leaned forwards and kissed me as Tobirama started beating my length. Fuck, this is hot. Fuck fuck fuck fuck, this is hot. Tobirama leaned his cheek on my shoulder blade, then proceeded to kiss it, his hand sticky with me. I put my palms on Mr Oliver's face, kissing him with passion and a lot of tongue.

"Mmmhhh", I moaned.

My anxiety became evident as soon as we tried to go further; when Mr Oliver unbuckled his belt, I felt myself stiffen up.

But so did the two men.

"Izuna..." Tobirama murmured, using my true name to make me understand he was serious. Mr Oliver took my hand in apology, entwined our fingers. I felt myself blush.

"I can't do sex", I said. "I want to see you two fuck."

They didn't need to ask whether I was serious or not. Mr Oliver stood up, took our hands and pulled us to the bedroom, where he shoved Tobirama onto the bed and then put his hand on the small of his back and pressed so he was on his knees and elbows.

"Watch", he demanded me.

I backed to a wall, panting as I kept masturbating. Tobirama looked me into my eyes, never letting go as Mr Oliver pushed himself inside him.

"Chase..." he breathed as he was penetrated.

Chase... That name was new to me. I liked it.

"Malcolm." It was Chase. I immediately looked up at him. "Eyes on mine."

"But-", I protested.

He grabbed Tobirama's hair harshly with one hand, put his hand on his throat with his other. Tobirama grunted in surprise, then laughed out in pure ecstasy. "Or I will hurt him."

"Fuck, yes", Tobirama said.

Oh... So this is how we play.

I kept my eyes on Chase, face set as I beat my length and he started thrusting, fucking Tobirama in front of me. The mixture of obeying Chase while denying Tobirama from being choked by him cause my mouth to water. Tobirama was tugging against Chase's hand, wanting him to press.

"Chase", Tobirama said again, and put a light hand on the hand that was around his throat.

Chase finally started choking him. Tobirama's eyes relaxed in bliss; he loved it. I could see he wasn't getting any air, that Chase took great care to press over his windpipe, not his arteries, and as the seconds passed, Tobirama slumped down more and more. I was becoming nervous. In the end, he lay his head down, and that was when Chase released him, allowing him to breathe. I couldn't keep my eyes on Chase anymore.

"Tobirama..." I whispered.

"He can't hear you", Chase said as he kept thrusting, although more slowly. "You want to go to him?" I nodded. "Go to him, then. You fucking whore."

I crawled to the bed, clambered onto it, put Tobirama's head into my knee as he came round once more as he kept being fucked from behind.

"Malcolm..."

Suddenly, Tobirama threw himself up in his elbows with a groan, put his face to my dick and breathed on it.

"May I?" he asked.

I tried to feel inwards. The thought of penetration caused me a lot of anxiety. But this, I wanted. I nodded. He opened his mouth and took me in.

"Ready for me, baby?" Chase asked Tobirama from behind before he began thrusting like a madman as Tobirama sucked me off. I screamed as I came. Tobirama grunted as he came at the same time as I spilled myself into his mouth. Chase just leaned forwards and hugged Tobirama from behind. I was a panting mess when we were all done for. What the fuck did just happen? An hour had passed.

Chase pulled us both too him. I snuggled up next to him, and my heart melted to see Tobirama did, too. It was clear to me Chase was horny for me, but he was utterly and head-over-heels, irreversibly in love with Tobirama. It was also clear to me that Tobirama was clueless about it. Tobirama looked at our hands, so close on Chase's strong chest, and he grabbed my fingers. I entwined them together. He closed his eyes, enjoying this moment of love between us.

The three of us.

And the unity of our hearts.

The two of us. 

"Izuna..." Tobirama said as Chase left, scratching his head a little. "I don't really do non-monogamy..."

I frowned. I had spent a lot of time during these last four years thinking about that aspect of myself.

"I identify as polyamorous and homosexual", I said. "But I don't have to live in non-monogamy. I can, but I have no preference. With you, I'm yours,"

He looked relieved.

"If you want to..." He scratched his head. "We can have Chase over sometimes?"

Oh God, yes. I smiled. "Does this mean we're dating?" I whispered.

His face lit up at this.

"Yes", he said. "Yes, it does."