I stood there, helpless, arms hanging down my sides, watching Helena hold Izuna close, comforting him. My desire to go and cocoon Izuna into the safety I knew my arms provided were painful. What in the world happened to you?

Izuna was naked, and he had so many burns and bruises, I fell to my knees, it made me so faint. Several of his ribs were broken, and blood was pouring down his eyes. His face was covered in candle wax; he must've been forced to drink it. That's so dangerous. That's so, so dangerous.

Tears were streaming down my face. I felt oddly displaced in my civil clothes; my cable-knitted cardigan, my black trousers. Helena caressed his head, then examined his body quickly to see if he had any injuries that required acute intervention.

When she looked at the right side of his neck, she suddenly stopped dead.

Shit, was it bad?

Then, I realised what was there.

The bitemark.

The bitemark is given him after Chase had left from our three-way.

Slowly, very slowly, Helena turned her head to me.

Her face was ashen white.

Izuna was transported to hospital. Me and Helena followed in my car, the first time we'd been alone together in a car since we broke up. We were silent the whole way. In the hospital, we were asked to wait in an empty waiting area.

"It's critical."

That was all the information we got.

I sat leaned forwards, elbows on my knees, hands clasped together. Helena sat next to me, legs together, hands holding the seat of the chair, bouncing one leg, a bad habit she'd had for as long as I'd known her that she said came from the fact that she gamed so much.

I phoned Chase.

"Hi."

"Hello", he said warmly, oddly calm in a situation like this. As soon as we had decided to raid, I'd phoned him quickly and told him. He'd been calm even then.

"Izuna is in hospital. It's critical."

He was silent for a while.

"How are you?"

This man... He had an unimaginable heart.

"Terrible", I said.

"If you can't stay at the hospital, do you want to come over?"

I swallowed.

"Yes."

The doctors told us they would operate on Izuna all night, and asked us to go home. We refused, but were forced to anyway. I drove Helena home to her. I drove myself home to Chase. I called on the intercom, dragged myself up the flight of stairs, knocked on his door. He let me into his apartment, simple but tidy, just like him. He looked incredibly down, yet asked me how I was first thing.

"Fine", I said, having decided to be strong for him. To give him this one thing after all that he had done and been for Izuna. But I wasn't fine. I was terrified and also insanely jealous. He knew, and he knew that I knew that he did.

I made us pasta with pesto and cherry tomatoes that we ate at his little kitchen table, both of us silent. It was well past midnight by the time we were finished, so we got ready for bed; he even had a spare toothbrush.

"Izuna has used it. But I take it you don't mind?"

"No", I said. "I don't."

"You take the bed", he said. "I'll take the couch."

"I'll take the bed", I said. "But I need you next to me."

His bed was a big single's one, so we had to lay tight. We didn't hold each other, didn't even touch, but we faced each other, emitted comfort.

"Take care of him", Chase said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"He will want to be yours. In time, he will want to be yours, and yours only."

"I hope you're right", I said.

God, I hoped he was.

I was woken up by my phone ringing. I usually put it on silent at night, but I must've forgotten. I groaned. Chase was still sleeping next to me. I picked my phone up and answered.

"Tobirama." It was Helena. "Can you come to the station?"

Izuna!!

"I want to go to the hospital. How is Izuna?" I felt myself starting to panic.

"He's alive. But you can't visit."

"Why?"

She hesitated. "He's... He's afraid of men." What? "He panics whenever one enters the room. He doesn't accept any male staff. Or any male nurse."

Fuck

"I must go. I must go to him. Me and Chase, his other friend." He was still sleeping next to me. "See if he recognises us."

"Me and the doctors agree but first... Can you please come to the station?"

I frowned. She wouldn't ask me if she didn't seem it more important than me visiting Izuna.

"Sure."

I got up and made myself breakfast from things I found in Chase's kitchen. I left him sleeping, took a spare key and locked the door behind me, drove to the station. I went into her office, full of dark wood and plants.

"Hi", I said.

She looked up. She had dark bags beneath her eyes; she had clearly been up all night. I went to her desk, sat on the visitor's chair opposite her.

"What was it about?" I asked.

She looked at me dead-pan.

"I saw his neck..."

Oh... Right. The bitemark. I remembered her face when she'd seen it, and I became irritated. At a time like this? Is it really necessary? Can't we lay our own emotions on the shelf just for one second?

"Helena..."

"I just thought better of you."

"Helena, I don't know where you are in your life, but I have the right to my own. I can't limit myself based on you, and even if I were, how the fuck were I supposed to-"

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"I have been so confused since you confessed your feelings to me! And in a situation like this, you take my time by forcing me here so you can tell me off for giving a man a bitemark? How-"

"Tobirama..."

"Helena, I don't think it's fair-"

"SHUT UP!!"

I immediately did. I just stared. She had stood up and slammed her hands on her desk. She looked like she was on fire. She had never screamed at me before.

"Now, you listen!" I did. "I am so fucking disappointed at you because you should have noticed!"

I was becoming irritated. "Noticed what?"

"His birthmark!" she said. "The birthmark on his neck! I don't give a fuck about you giving him a bitemark, but you can't just let these things pass you! Especially not when you've literally shoved your face in it!"

I still didn't understand. "What's up with his birthmark?"

She looked at me.

She looked at me for a long time.

"I know it was my case. But you had a pretty good insight of it as well."

She stood up, went to a cabinet made it walnut wood behind her, opened a drawer and took out a photo file. It was one of the files of her old case, the one that had been closed now after twenty-five years of the child who went missing at one year old.

She slammed it on her desk, opened it to the first page and pointed to a photo of the child.

I'm cold dread drenched my heart.

Then, a fire burned it.

I looked.

"Oh, fuuuck..." I murmured.

"Fuck, indeed", Helena said triumphantly.