The whip stings, in cuts into my flesh and rips open my flesh. I turn my face skyward, if this is what it took to keep her safe, then this is what would happen; but the pain, oh gods the pain, it makes me crazy and it's pushing me off the cliff, I'll soon lose it. Then I'll kill them all, and fell bad for it when I wake from my rage. I always do.

 I'll call his "rage" or "seeing red". he will also sometimes refer to this as "the other" like, the other side of him. the Monster he does his best to hid. the anger blinds him and he "berserks".

It is when he does things he regrets, to begin with he hates killing, and in his rage he kills even the most innocent. when he "wakes up" from this he usually doesn't remember what happened, until little scene from it comes back to him.