When everyone was ordered to bed, we were also given a small paper cup with a large blue pill in it. I was not allowed to know what it was, I was just ordered to swallow it. “Don’t swallow it,” a young teenage girl with bright blue eyes and messy black hair whispered to me. I watched many patients stick the pill between their lips and later spit it out when the nuns were not watching.

When I was alone in my room, I spit the pill into my palm, and stared at it under the pale moonlight. I was curious as to why none of the patients would swallow it, so I swallowed it. A few minutes later, my heart was beating much slower and I felt so calm I started laughing. I have never felt so alive, I forgot my own name and it didn’t even matter. I smiled and smiled and I couldn’t stop, I just felt so exhilarated and content. I immediately fell in love with this blue pill — it gave me life. I turned over in bed and slowly fell asleep filled with pure joy. A feeling no one could give me except for this blue pill, and I was already looking forward to my next dose.

In the morning, I was awoken by a loud pounding on the door, a nun telling me to wake up.

The teenage girl from the night before started conversing with me, which startled me at first. I assumed everyone here was insane and I didn’t want to interact with anyone, but this girl had a bright smile and dazzling blue eyes. She seemed normal — normal as in it didn’t seem she needed to be in a mental asylum — but I guess perhaps so did I.

A little while later, she asked for my name. “My name is Daisy,” I told her.

“I’m Dolly!” she said sweetly. She offered to spend her time with me.
Over the next few days I spent in the asylum, I soon felt like I was in a strange hell, but all along I watched television, played cards, ate (and vomited) meals, with Dolly. But even though I had an ally, I still felt lonely. Every day I learn new strange things. One day I asked if I could have my cell phone so I could check my text messages and let people know I was still alive. When they said I was not allowed to have any personal items on me, I asked if I could use the telephone, and they still denied me. So, when everyone was in the cafeteria, I snuck my way to the front desk where I found a vintage telephone. I quickly spun the numbers but was unable to reach anyone.

Suddenly, a nun walked in, and I jumped away from the telephone.
“What do you think you are doing out here?” she yelled at me.

“I was only trying to call somebody—”
The nun grabbed me by the arm and pulled me all the way to my room.
“Get cozy,” she said, “because you will not be leaving this room for three days.” And she slammed the door shut, locking it.

That was when I knew this place was immoral, and I had to leave as soon as possible.

In the three days I was isolated in my room, I was given nothing to eat except for one blue pill per night. It was what I looked forward to every day, and it was the only reason I stayed alive. Dolly would sit next to my door and talk to me when she was able to. She asked me so many personal questions, but it seemed like I knew nothing about her, so one day I said, “Dolly, I have a question.”

“Yeah?”

“Why are you here?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why are you in a mental institution?” I asked. “I mean, to me, you seem pretty…normal.”

She looked up at me with a smile. “I am a pathological liar,” she said.