POV Camila Cabello

The future is built on our decisions, it is our greatest power. Throughout life, every day and every hour, we make plans, and only our decisions will make them come true; one wrong choice, and all the plans, your whole future will go down the drain. My decision had already been made, now here I was, driving, trying to empty my mind. A very unexpected fog covered the road, a good number of cars were already circulating.

Sneaky tears streamed down my face throughout the whole drive to my apartment, and even crying, the sore knot still lingered in my throat. With my mind a thousand miles away, I didn't even know how I was able to get home, it was as if my body was on autopilot mode, and so it remained.

I walked in, closing the door without even bothering to lock it, and went straight to my bathroom. As much as I had showered a few hours ago, I still felt dirty. Maybe I wanted to wash something that wouldn't be washed so easily. I took each piece of clothing off my body, and even after getting rid of the clothes, her scent was still on me.

I rubbed my skin with the sponge until it turned red and sensitive to the touch. Tears mingled with the water, and during it all, my mind remained a thousand miles away, empty. I was surprised that I didn't care, for the first time I was happy I couldn't think about solutions to things, it may be that this had no solution, what was done was already done.

Upon leaving the bathroom, I didn't bother to change, just put on my silk robe and let my body sink into the soft mattress, and that's how I remained. For how long? I don't know... It was like I was in a catatonic state.

I have been through many things throughout my life and my career, and nothing made me feel like this, so... empty. My soul, my thoughts, my movements, and especially my feelings had been stolen from the moment I fired the gun...

*Flashback On*

I walked slowly through the warehouse, getting a little closer to Lauren, and then lifted my gun and cocked it. My hands were shaking, everything in me was shaking, my heart was beating so hard that I thought it would jump out of my chest at any second now.

"LAUREN!" I shouted at the brunette who turned to me, kneeling.

The brunette stared at me, and in her eyes I saw her end, Lauren had already accepted her fate. I closed my eyes, letting a few tears fall. The gun pointed at Lauren had the weight of the world. I took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

And then I closed my eyes and fired the gun. In that exact moment, all the memories from when our eyes met for the first time, from our first kisses, to even when we made love, flashed before my eyes like a projector in my mind. I expected the worst, I expected the sound of the gunpowder burning, I expected the jolt that the pressure made the gun do, I was quite sure that even with trembling hands, the aim was accurate and fatal, but I was wrong... I got out of that bathroom with the certainty of what I was going to do, I had made my decision, but now reality fell over me, and I realized the madness I had just done.

I shot her, I shot the one who gave me the best moments of my life, the one who showed me the true meaning of love, who showed me that only I can choose my destiny, not my mother or my father or anyone... Lauren taught me to live and to love intensely.

The weight fell on me, everything became heavier, from the gun in my trembling hand, to the tears that started falling compulsively, to even Lauren's arms that wrapped around my body, which was in a real state of shock.

"Lau-Lauren..." I whispered, my voice choking due to crying. "I... I..."

"Shhh... Cal-Calm down... It-It's o-okay..." She silenced me and hugged me tighter.

I couldn't calm down, much less believe that she was here, hugging me and crying along with me. I had fired, hadn't I? It didn't matter anymore. I let go of the heavy gun, letting it drop on the floor, and hugged Lauren, I hugged her with all my strength, with all my soul, I really gave all of me in fear of that being just a trick of my mind.

I closed my eyes tightly and let myself cry like I've never cried before. Lauren was no different, I could feel her body shaking with ever sob that come out of her mouth. While I cried, I wondered: Why did I fire? Why did I try to take the life of the one who showed me happiness? I don't think I'd ever have that answer. It was funny how fate always played with us. I had played the Russian Roulette, but unlike the normal way of playing, there was only one hole without a bullet. Decision made... Future defined by that empty hole... Was that a message from fate? That our lives were meant to be lived side by side? Or was it really just not her time, and much less mine? I wouldn't be able to live with the conscience of having killed my first and only love, at all.

Slowly, I pulled away from her warm arms, opened my eyes, and stared at her. It was her... With her black, disheveled hair, with her fleshy lips, and her eyes... Her damn emerald green eyes, which almost looked like a river due to the dampness of the tears that still fell down her face. I brought one of my hands to her face, and with my thumb, I wiped away the tears that escaped. Lauren closed her eyes in response to my touch and kissed the palm of my hand before pulling me closer to her and kissing me. Our lips collided, and with no hurry, our tongues touched in a caress that could be endless. And only then was I absolutely sure that it was really her there with me. I could spend my whole life kissing her without thinking about the consequences, and I wanted that! But I couldn't, not now. I ended the kiss with a long peck, and with my eyes closed, I stood still, taking deep breaths. My chest rose and fell violently, suddenly the air became too heavy. I was afraid to open my eyes and face reality. When I finally opened them, I came across Lauren's emerald orbs. She was restless.

"What's going to happen now?" Lauren asked in a whisper.

Her voice came out so hoarse and so low that it made me wonder if that question really was for me or for herself. I sighed when her hand began drawing random things on my back. Her touches made me so vulnerable. I closed my eyes and counted to three before pulling away. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes, Lauren was looking at me with a neutral look, she knew things weren't alright, and so did I. I pulled myself together and faced her. Lauren, standing there, completely naked and bloody, was heartbreaking, but I couldn't falter.

"What's going to happen now? Now I need you to do what you've always done, clean up all this mess and leave the body where you've always left them. Don't call me, don't look for me. And don't think everything's fine, because nothing is fine! I need some time for myself, and you know you need it as well, don't you?" Lauren just nodded her head, letting out a heavy sigh. "Great!"

I crouched down, picking up my gun, and when I stood back up, I grabbed the rest of my things and walked to the exit. Lauren didn't say anything, and even though I had my back turned to her, I knew she was looking at me. But before I walked out of that door, I needed to say something else, so I turned around, facing the woman who was staring me.

"Oh... And Lauren, I hope you don't run away. This time fate saved me from an inconvenience, but if you run away, you can be damn sure that I'll chase you to hell if I have to, and not even fate will stop me from ending it all! This time, all the bullets will be in the gun."

*Flashback Off*

Knocks on the door and the shrill ringing of my phone brought me back to reality. Slowly, my eyes opened, and unwillingly, I turned my body, watching the screen of my phone flashing, indicating more than ten missed calls. I rolled back to my previous position, staring at the ceiling of my bedroom, and ignored all the noise around me, the white ceiling seemed to be really more important at the moment.

"Camila..." I heard insistent voices. "Camila..." I ignored the voices once again, but two pairs of eyes staring at me disturbed my concentration. "CAMILA!"

Oh... It was just Veronica and Dinah. But what were they doing here?

"I-I don't know, Dinah! I think we better call 911, she seems to be in a state of shock."

"State of shock my ass, I'll fix this now!"

"What are you going to do, Dinah?!"

A hard slap and a burning burned the area of my cheek, and that was enough to wake me up and make me sit up suddenly on the bed. My heart jolted and pounded in my chest due to the scare, my breathing was heavy.

"Camila!" Veronica shouted, approaching me, bringing me closer to her. "Are you okay? What happened to you?"

"I'm sorry..." This time it was Dinah who approached. "I had to do that, I'm going to get some ice for you to put there..."

"N-No... There's no need." I whispered. "Your slap was necessary, it's okay." I answered weakly. "I'm sorry for worrying you."

"What happened, Camila? You disappeared all day yesterday, didn't answer any of our calls nor the department's, and when we find you, you're like this, in this state of shock."

"Nothing." I simply said. "Nothing happened."

"What do you mean 'nothing'? You-" I didn't let Veronica finish, I got up quickly and ran to the bathroom, the knot in my stomach was bothering me too much. I lifted the toilet lid and threw up, I poured it all out, and in the same instant, Veronica walked into the bathroom and held my hair until I was done. "Take a shower. Dinah and I will be waiting for you in the living room, we'll prepare something for you to eat."

I didn't protest, just nodded my head, my body was too weak. I got into the shower box and took another shower, the feeling of being dirty seemed like it'd never go away. I pulled myself together, I needed to face my problems. As soon as I finished, I got dressed, putting on a pair of jeans, a police department t-shirt that I hadn't worn for a while, and a pair of sneakers. Then, I tied my hair in a ponytail and left my bedroom, walking to the living room, finding my two friends sitting there. As soon as they saw me, they got up, and unlike Dinah, who was looking at me with a serious look, Veronica smiled and approached me.

"Do you feel better?" She asked worriedly, and I just nodded my head, smiling weakly. "Great! We made you a sandwich, eat!"

After eating the sandwich under their supervision, Veronica got a call on the radio and moved away from the both of us. Dinah was still looking at me seriously from afar, probably still mad because I broke up with Lauren and got back together with Rob. Little did she know that those two have been giving me many headaches, and not because of a love triangle, I wish it were so though, it would be less complicated...

"Are you pregnant?" Dinah finally broke the silence. It would have been better if she remained silent.

"No!" I denied as fast as possible. "Are you crazy?! Why do you think that?"

"Well... Isn't it obvious?" She asked, and I shook my head, incredulous. "Seriously? First you dump the person who makes you happy to get back together with a disgusting guy like Rob, and now we find you in this state, what do you want me to think?"

I stared at her incredulously, trying to digest every word.

"Girls!" Veronica appeared in our line of sight again, drawing our attention. "We have another one..." Veronica looked serious, her gaze alternated between Dinah and me. "From the Maniac Polaroid! Another body was found."

I just felt my heartbeat speed up, my urge was to disappear, but I couldn't right now.

"Okay! Let's see what he prepared for us this time." I said firmly, getting up from the chair. The two of them looked at me and nodded their heads.

-----

It was like a flashback of all the times I was in that alley to investigate a body left by the not so secret Maniac. Two of my best experts were present on the spot, analyzing the body and around.

I walked away from everyone there and answered a call.

"Hey, Halsey, I was going to call you..."

"Dammit, Camila! Meet me in my apartment, now!"

Without even letting me answer, Halsey ended the call. I let out the heavy air in my lungs, putting my phone back in my pocket. I informed Ally and Vero that I'd be right back and that if they needed me, they just had to call. They didn't question me, just nodded their heads. To get to my car, I had to face a swarm of reporters who surrounded the place like vultures. I didn't say anything, I wasn't in the mood for that right now.

-----

I parked the car in front of Halsey's building, walked over to the entrance and rang the intercom of her apartment. Instantly, my entry was granted by the door opening. I went up the stairs, step by step, in the most slow way. I could feel my body exhausted, just like my mind. I knocked on the door twice and was immediately greeted. Halsey looked as beautiful as ever. Her short, wet hair gave away that she had just gotten out of the shower, and her clenched jaw and her lips on a straight line showed that something bad was about to happen. Without saying anything, Halsey stepped to the side, so I got in and walked to the living room in silence.

"What do you want with me?" I asked, but stopped dead in my tracks when I found Mr. Prado sitting with a serious posture on the couch.

"Good Morning, Ms. Cabello."

"Good Morning, Mr. Prado." I limited myself to say, and it didn't take long for Halsey to stand by my side, her posture was serious as well.

"Now that the two of you are here, I need a report and I need that report to show a progress in the case. Halsey more than anyone knows how much the FBI has been pressuring us with it."

"Mr. Prado, we don't have a report ready yet." Halsey said weakly. Dammit! I was supposed to meet Halsey to make the report. I closed my eyes, shaking my head.

"Why not?" Mr. Prado asked.

"I-I..."

"No, Halsey! Don't say anything! It was my fault, we were after one of the possible bosses, we were going to try to offer him a deal, a deal where he'd help us arrest everyone involved in the operation. I followed him, but I lost sight of him, and today he was found-"

"Dead! He was found dead, right Ms. Cabello?!" With his voice altered and no longer sitting, Mr. Prado stared at me, waiting for an answer. I sighed, closing my eyes, to then nod my head. The man in front of me shook his head with an ironic smile. "Dead by the Maniac Polaroid, another case that you weren't able to solve, right Cabello?"

"Another?! What do you mean 'another'? I solve cases every day in that precinct! You told me yourself that I'm the best, that you trust me!" I spat out my words.

"ENOUGH! I WILL NO LONGER TOLERATE ALL THIS, I'M GOING TO GET IN TOUCH WITH THE FBI AND HAND THE CASE OVER TO THEM!"

"GREAT!" I answered in the same tone. Halsey looked at me, startled.

"CALM DOWN, PLEASE!" This time it was Halsey who shouted, drawing our attention. She ran her hand through her hair, in an attempt to calm herself. "Mr. Prado... Shouting at us won't solve anything! I apologize for the lack of a report. And it's not Ms. Cabello's fault that one of the suspects is dead! Give us two more weeks, and I guarantee you that we'll put the mastermind of all this in jail."

Silence was the only thing left in that room. Mr. Prado, who had been standing still before, started pacing back and forth, his index finger scratching his beard. I remained quiet next to Halsey. The urge to cry hit me hard, my emotions were completely shaken up, the urge to give up on everything was big, but Halsey was here, and not only as a great agent, but also as a good friend. She held my hand, giving me the tranquility I needed.

"Alright." He said, breaking the silence. "I'll give you two more weeks, no more, no less, only two. I want this solved, otherwise, I'll hand this case over to the FBI."

"Thank you, Mr. Prado, we promise not to let you down, nor the FBI." Halsey said as she walked him out.

I couldn't look at him after the outburst I had. I sat down on the couch and buried my hands in my hair as soon as my boss exited the front door, and all it took was the sound of it closing for the tears to flow. Halsey approached me and sat down beside me, pulling me close to her.

"Let everything out, Camila. I know that we just recently met and that we're not that close, but you can cry, I won't question the reasons for your tears, because I know very well what they are, and I promise you that we'll throw him in jail!"

I looked at Halsey amid my tears, she smiled at me and stroked my hair, and then I lowered my head again and cried more and more. I was really lost. Rob was a lot smarter than I thought... Everything was going wrong, Rob had a minor grooming business, my boss kept nagging me, pressuring me, my best friend kept judging me, and the love of my life was a killer who's been playing with me all this time.

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NOTE: :/ Poor Camila... After I translate the Fallen Angel chapter, I'll focus on Dark Paradise again, so the next chapter will probably be posted on the weekend.