*not edited*

Hey lovelies!

I hope you're enjoying this story so far x

Lots of love

Rose x

|2.|

Now before you all freak out about the fact I couldn't remember my own fiancés name, let me just make one thing clear.

I could probably count on all ten fingers everything I knew about the man in front of me.

Aaron Samuels is 27, making him a total of four years older than me. He's Indian, works as a freelance accountant, his parents are Meera and Hardish Samuels, he has a nice smile and the last time we saw each other (roughly about three weeks ago), we decided to get engaged.

Maybe I should also explain that I only met the guy for the first time about four weeks ago.

Yup, talk about crazy. On second thought, maybe I should really check out the nearest psychiatric hospital.

But despite how crazy it all sounds, there is actually some rationality behind my madness. Even if that small rational part is questionable.

Here let me explain:

1. I can't be bothered to date. Personally I think it is just a waste of time, money and resources, all of which could be used to better yourself in other ways.

2. Love isn't real. Well, it might be real for the select few that magically find their soulmates and live happily ever after (like my parents.) But for the rest of us, love is just a fantasy- a dream. It isn't real and honestly I think the real tragedy is those who waste their lives chasing after this irrational idea of 'true love.'

And 3. Why fall in love and get married, when you could use all that effort and energy to better yourself? The most terrifying thing to me, if the idea of getting married and then having devote myself to my husband and my children.

Why? Why would I want to do that?

Why on earth would I want to settle for a boring life of self sacrifice and putting others first when I could keep putting myself first?

I have dreams.

Dreams that would be impossible to fulfil if I got married and settled down into the housewife role.

I want to be successful. I want to be rich. I want to be more than just someone's wife.

I have worked way too hard to get where I am now, just to give that all up for some man.

So this begs the question- why then do I have a fiancé?

Well as lovely as Aaron Samuels is (and this is bearing in mind I have literally only met the guy like five times in my whole life) I am not in love with him and I can guarantee that I will never be in love with him.

And that means he is perfect fiancé material.

On our first blind date, he asked me about my aspirations and about where I see myself in three years time. I told him, without missing a beat: "I will be the first female director of PR for Armstrong Corporations."

Can I just quickly point out that Armstrong Corporations is legendary. Like it's the biggest company in technology (even bigger than Google) and to even work there is an honour. But to be the head of PR? That's an impossible dream for many. But for me- I'm going to make it my reality, no matter what.

And Aaron- he didn't scoff or seem amused by my over ambitious answer. Instead he just looked genuinely impressed and that was the moment I realised, if I was ever going to marry a man- it would be Aaron Samuels.

He was kind and funny, slightly awkward at times and perhaps a tiny bit boring but he seemed like a genuine person. Also the fact he was Indian, well educated and had his own money checked all my boxes.

I refused to get married, and I had all my life, but my parents were being insistent these days. Lately, it seemed like their only goal in life was to get me married off. But being strong headed and stubborn I wasn't going to give up my freedom easily, but then-

-But then, three weeks ago my mother had a heart attack.

I mean she's fine now. But it scared me to the core and so the next time my mother asked me, in her soft and weary voice, her face still pale from her recovery, "Ammu, when are you getting married?" I couldn't look her in the eyes and break her heart by telling her that it was never going to happen.

I tried. God, I tried. But my voice got caught in my throat and no matter how much I tried to force it out, it wouldn't.

And it just happened that Aaron had messaged me, asking for another date.

So four dates later, I asked him the all important question.

"Aaron Samuels, will you marry me?"

At this point, I should make it clear, he did laugh. He thought I was joking but it only took him about three minutes to realise that I was being serious.

"Wait you're being serious?" He asks, his jaw slacking in shock.

"Yeah, I mean you're a nice guy, you have a good job, you're indian- I mean it makes perfect sense, let's get married." I tell him. In my head, everything I had just listed just made it very clear why we should stop with this dating nonsense and just get down the aisle.

Aaron however, couldn't quite get his head around my proposition.

"Wait, you want to get married because I'm Indian and I have a good job?" He asks indecorously.

I turned to him, offended. "Woah dude! I'm not getting married to you because I want your money. Since you have your own job and financial income, you won't be depending on me... that's all." I tell him, rolling my eyes.

Aaron sighs.

"Listen Kessiya, I think you've had too much wine. Let's get you home." He goes to stand up but I quickly grab his hand.

He was right, I have had too much wine, but that wasn't the point.

"No listen Aaron-" I make direct eye contact, hoping he could see the sincerity in my eyes, "I'm being totally serious."

"I don't want to get married. I don't think I ever will want to get married- not for real anyway. I don't get the whole concept about romance and all that bullshit," I sigh, "but I know that I love my parents and I know that no matter how much I hate the idea of marriage, I would regret it more if I didn't fulfil my parents biggest wish."

I was breaking my own morals, but seeing my mother in that hospital bed made me realise that a little sacrifice wouldn't hurt me.

I think.

Aaron sits down. He seems to be listening carefully now.

"That's why I think we should get married." I explain. "I know that there is no chance in hell that we would ever fall in love- no offence mate, you're a lovely guy, but I get more older brother vibes than lover from you," I add quickly when I see his eyes narrow. "Plus- we're both super professional and care more about our jobs than we do about finding our one true love... right?"

Aaron remains quiet. An almost conflicted expression crosses his eyes and then it turns back to normal.

"So our marriage would be like a business deal?" He asks and I click my fingers and point in his direction.

"Yes!" I exclaim, "Exactly that. It would be a business deal."

He still seems dubious.

"Ok," He whispers, "So how would it work?" He questions.

I take another sip of my red wine, feeling scrutinized under Aarons judgment. Hey, don't blame me! It's not my fault the thought of marriage turns me into an alcoholic.

"So we would tell our parents we just clicked and it was love at first sight. Then we say we love each other so much that we don't want to waste any more time and that we just want to get married."

This might have rung alarm bells with other parents, but I knew mine would be jumping up and down with joy. Well my dad would... My mum was still bed bound.

Aaron interrupts, "So we actually get married for real?" I don't miss his apprehension. Bloody hell. Was the idea of getting married to me really that awful?

I nod reluctantly. Yeah, I'm not jumping in joy either, buddy. "Only the actual wedding part would be real and legally yes, we would be married. But, we don't have do all the relationship, marriagey things." I explain, with a shrug.

Getting married was one thing. Having to fake an intimate relationship was another. That I could almost imagine, would be borderline traumatic.

"So no sex is what I'm assuming you are saying." He smirks.

"Yeah no sex." I make it clear. "But I have no problem with you seeking your sexual desires elsewhere, as long as you are discreet about it."

Never let it be said that Kessiya Saju wasn't fair.

Aaron finally relaxes into his chair and reaches for his own alcoholic drink.

"So," He starts, "I understand what you get out of this situation." He says, "but what about me? What do I get?"

Hmm, fair point. Good thing I had already made a bulletproof plan.

"Well firstly-" Another sip of red wine, "no more getting forced into blind dates by your parents," He smiles at my words but still doesn't look convinced.

"Yeah, I don't actually mind the bli-"

"Secondly," I quickly interrupt. This was the break or make. I was going to lay all the cards on the table- even the ones he didn't want anyone to know.

My eyes meet his. "Secondly, your parents never have to find out that you're gay."

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Aaron Samuels