Rudolph and the Orange Alpha by LeighWStuart

TheRealTrumpPrez Twitter

Game nite! Will be huge. Fantastic! A must see and not that SNL. So not funny.

***

Rudolph

Humans howl and throw ticket stubs and beer bottles at the chain link cage. I strut. I am one fine beast and I won't feel sorry for winning in less than 30 seconds. Losers! They want a show? Give me a worthy opponent!

The ladies in the other cage crowd together as far from me as possible, but I know it's just part of the show. I rear up and let my masculine pheromones waft from my amazing chest. One of the poor dears falls over in a dead faint.

I am an animal! THE animal! I was made for the fight. I grind the nubs of my molars together and curb my jealousy of the gold capped incisors these human men so love to sport. I'd put gold tipped, front teeth to some real use.

The door opens and another buck is shoved in the pen. I scoff. This? This is what they want me to fight? The rank smell of sweat and fear fill the cage. I'll eat him for breakfast. And there won't be any leftovers for lunch.

I bellow once for the ladies who hop up and down in excitement, and then I lunge for the kill.

***

FBI Security Report

Sealed file.

Unopened.

Return to sender

***

Fox News

Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer, Wins 1st World Championship of Cage-Fighting: Disturbing evidence of predator-like behavior quickly squelched by scientific community. What people seemed to see wasn't actually happening.

"Well, Phil, isn't that a relief?"

"Why yes, Rebecca, it certainly is!"

"I thought I would have to explain to my kids that Rudolph was actually eating the other reindeer, but thank goodness it was just a trick of the light through the new poly-chain cage that our great president insisted on having to protect the spectators."

"The wonders of technology never cease. And in other news, the Chinese Prime Minister states they will begin testing on the nuclear cloud cover rain program soon. However, since global warming has been proven to be a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese government and that more rain is not necessary to Asia to grow food, we have been informed that this nuclear testing is in fact, nothing more than wishful thinking. To you, Oliver—"

Channel blip

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Lab Report, 28.12.2019

Aggression has increased approximately 250% in subject Rudolph since series of injections of Perpatuate (see chart). Food consumption has remained stable, except for large quantities of meat consumed during the fights on 27 December, 2019 and previous training sessions (see sheet). We recommend increasing the dosage of Quamidaflor to 60 gr, twice per day and the water hose behavioral treatment to at least 3 per week.

While other reindeer subjects (see list) have exhibited signs of abnormal carnivorism, none have been seen to willingly attack others of the same species or to enjoy racial 'cannibalism'. Funding for further studies has been requested.

***

Lab Report, 29.12.2019

The subject Rudolph attacked a female reindeer for the first time. Subject Jane Doe, a female of three years, was only lightly injured with bites to shoulder, thigh and nose. Stitches were required, but blood loss was not significant.

After subject woke from the tranquilizer, it exhibited some of the same aggression as Rudolph, but without the injections of Perpatuate. To study further. The subject Jane Doe has been isolated from the other females, after biting two of them (see list).

***

TheRealTrumpPrez Twitter

So proud of the scientist at GenieLabs! Couldn't be prouder. We should replace national mascot to Rudolph. Advancements to science so huge.

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TheRealTrumpPrez Twitter

Will visit GenieLabs personally for work on fighting reindeer. So proud.

***

FBI Security Report

Sealed file.

Unopened.

Return to sender

***

TheRealTrumpPrez Twitter

Whining Dems complain I don't read security briefings. So untrue. Nothing is more important than national security. Big babys.

***

Rudolph

I smell something new. Something warm and tasty. Like the sausage smell from the cafeteria that comes through the doors.

My mouth waters. Ever since I got a bite of that sweet lady, I've been hungry for something different. I can't quite place it, but the way the humans smell comes close.

Sometimes, I almost have them in reach.

I run my tongue over my filed teeth. Dull. Flat. Boring. Like the slop they put in my trough.

My teeth aren't suited for what I crave, but I won't let it stop me.

Voices.

"Mr. President, Sir! Allow me to say this is such an honor!" the alpha male is with another male human, even more alpha, even better smelling.

Hands.

Little orange tid-bit fingers and meaty wrists.

My stomach twists with hunger pains. I want.... Saliva floods my mouth.

Come a little closer!

I bat my eyes and prance sideways. They love that.

The most alpha of them all comes closer to the cage. There is a wall I can't see, but sometimes they open it to the observation pen. And there is only the chain link, like for the fights.

I lift my head as though nervous and freeze. This works every time.

"Well, let's see him!" the orange alpha says.

"Sir, we can't guarantee your safety," the lesser human says. He is interrupted by shushing and gestures.

My door buzzes open and I go on little tippy-toes. My natural musk odor floats around me like a majestic cloud, and I can't believe the humans aren't affected more. They should worship me for the king I am! They should be powerless before my allure. They should desire to touch me....

The visitor puts his hands on the chain link. I slow my steps and lower my head until my great rack of antlers scrapes against the floor. Lure them in, nice and easy.

"So this is Rudolph the reindeer whose nose is red with the blood of his enemies! So fantastic. I love him. No one loves him more than me."

Yes, sausage-fingered, alpha-human, you must love me.

I walk closer, but expose my shoulder. He reaches through the chain link to give me a scratch.

"Sir, we really don't recommend touching the subject."

"Pish-posh. I'm the president."

President. It even sounds delish. Jerky meat and juicy blood at the same time. My teeth might be rounded off, but I can chew and tear. He scratches me more. I keep my head down.

"How many more are receiving the injections?" he asks. "I want an army of these beauties! This is so huge, so magnificent! I want them in every zoo and park in the country."

"The other subjects have not responded positively to the injections, however we have hope that we can transform Rudolph's saliva into a new form of the treatment. We will need more money to continue the experiments, unfortunately."

"Yes, yes, of course, I have plenty of mo—"

His screams fill the room. I only bit off two of the fingers, but they are so good, sweet and fresh, but salty and tough at the same time. Entirely satisfying. I chew. I relish. I savor. I—

Darkness

***

Fox News

President Injured During Attack at GenieLabs

"President Trump was injured and may have suffered the loss of several fingers during a terrorist attack at GenieLabs. Rumors coming in that he later chased down and bit several of the nurses are entirely unfounded. He is stable and calm. We are sad to say that Rudolph was killed by the unknown terrorist, though."

"Hannibal the Cannibal for President?" Laughter. "Ridiculous. I wonder which cry-baby organization is responsible for spreading those—"

BOOM

The building shakes and people scream.

"What was that?" whispers a voice. Nervous calling.

"Folks, we apologize for the disruption." Pause. "No. It's not possible."

"People, please, we need everyone at home to remain calm and walk as quickly as possible to the nearest underground shelter. There are unreliable sources claiming that the Chinese have launched nuclear weapons. Rest assured. Your president is safe. We will update on his condition and this situation as soon as—"

Darkness

***

Bunker Hospital, unknown location, The Prez

The rank smell of fear and sweat fills the hospital room. All of the nurses huddle in the back, as far away from me as possible. It's just for show, though. I run my tongue over my teeth. Pretty sharp still for an older gentleman. Pretty sharp.

I lunge for the bite.

***

The End