The words just fell from Tom's mouth, catching not just Harrison but even himself off guard. It's like the box itself got tired of listening to Harrison's pestering that it shook and shook and shook until it exploded and shed just enough light until Tom could reach it and hold it closed once more. And now the two are standing there, Tom's eyes moving to floor and Harrison's peering at him.

"Okay." Harrison says, taking a step back. "Tell her that."

"Can't." Tom says without hesitation.

Harrison can almost feel himself starting to vibrate with frustration and fury.

"You've come here to yell at me for asking her out because you're the one in love with her but you won't tell her? You've lost your fucking mind." Harrison rolls his eyes and takes a seat at one of the chairs.

"I told you," Tom runs a hand over his face, moving his other to his hip. "I don't fuckin' care you asked, it's that you lied."

"Whatever." Harrison mutters, tired of going in circles.

Arguably, he lied but Tom isn't innocent in lying. He's lying through his teeth and Harrison is just exhausted so he just accepts it and moves on. They've both lied and it's time to address the bigger question, the main reason Tom stormed to Harrison in a fit of protection over Elli.

"Why don't you tell her though? Pretty sure that's kind of the elephant in the room at this point." Harrison gestures a hand out.

Tom shakes his head, barely lifting his shoulders. "She deserves to be happy--"

"You know she's happy with you." Harrison cuts him off, voice filled with annoyance.

"Wasn't done." Tom says through a clenched jaw. "And better. She deserves better than me."

"Fuck's sake." Harrison groans, elbows on the counter as he puts his face in his hands for a few seconds. "Go on, share why you think you don't deserve her. Humor me."Sarcasm and frustration coat Harrison's words.

"It's not some joke, Haz." Tom snaps, eyes narrowing.

"Yeah, sounds like it. Who are you to dictate what or who she deserves and what or who she doesn't?"

Tom licks his lips, holding a straight face. "She deserves someone who doesn't ignore her when she tells them she loves them."

Harrison's eyes widen and his face falls, watching Tom switch his attention to the bottle of beer, opening it. Harrison questions if he even heard Tom right but of course he did because what else could he have heard? But, why would Tom ignored Elli if she told him she loved him? That can't be what Tom means. Maybe Harrison has just misunderstood.

"What?" Harrison asks, voice showcasing his confusion.

"She told me she loved me and I ignored her." Tom admits, taking a swig of the drink.

Harrison blinks, clearly trying to process the thousands of questions going through his head. "Hold on. She told you she loves you? When?"

"I dunno." Tom shrugs. "Few months before she dated Shawn."

"And you just...ignored her?" Harrison just asks completely dumbfounded.

"Yep." Tom says.

"Because...?"

Tom shakes his head with uncertainty. It's been years and he still doesn't know why he flat out ignored her. He ignored it, the whole situation. It was easier to ignore it then and it's easier to ignore it now because now he just regrets it. He regrets it because it hurts now and he knows it hurt her then. And maybe that was his chance and he blew it and for what? Because he was scared or not ready for a relationship with her? Because she deserves better.

"I couldn't..." Tom trails off. "I dunno, mate. I just froze." Tom admits and the defeat is evident in his eyes. "It's like my whole brain short-circuited and I just couldn't say it back."

"Bullshit!" Harrison yells, his veins are now full of fury as he pieces together his own timeline and figures out that this was likely the night Elli has called him in tears from her parking lot. "You called me a shit friend well maybe you need to look in the fucking mirror."

"I know." Tom says, voice flat as he takes another drink. "I know and that's why she deserves better and why I won't tell her. I couldn't tell her then and it's not fair to tell her now."

"Why'd she tell you anyway?" Harrison spits. "Not like she's open with her feelings either. What the bloody hell did you do to make her think you'd say it back?"

Tom looks away from Harrison, recalling the night and knowing damn well he can't tell Harrison what caused her to tell him. He can't tell him when exactly she did or how. The only thing Tom can tell Harrison is that Elli said it. He can't tell him the look of hope and terror in her eyes and how Tom just ignored it. He ignored it and continued on with what they were doing because he couldn't say it back. Not then. Maybe if she said it now, he could but not then. He wasn't ready and that wasn't fair to her and Tom can't tell Harrison about it because Tom will be the liar Harrison thinks he is.

"She tells me things, I guess." Tom swallows back another drink and Harrison is ready to throw his fist into Tom's face.

"You lead her on?" Harrison asks, but it's more of an accusation.

"I-yeah, I guess maybe. Somewhere, the lines blurred."

"Yeah, I'd fuckin' say." Harrison scuffs in disgust. "You came because she was crying over me last night but you said this happened a few months before she dated Shawn, ya?" Tom nods. "What'd she do after? She leave, right?"

"Yeah, I think, it was two and a half years ago, I don't remember the details." Tom fibs because he remembers every detail, every single detail.

He remembers the words spilling from Elli's mouth and he remembers himself freezing, his heart stopping in his chest. Every time he can replay that exact moment over and over and over and his breath catches in his throat every fucking time just like it did the first time and he can feel the weight of the world crushing him just as he did when Elli told him.

Time stops just like it did that night and he remembers not saying anything and seeing the look of devastation come into her eyes and Tom remembers wanting so bad to open his mouth and say something, anything to make it better but he didn't. He let Elli kiss him and they continued without another word and then he remembers Elli tossing her old hoodie on and saying she'd be back. He can remember hearing the door shut, almost too quiet as she went to leave and he got to the window and saw her sit in her car, alone, not leaving. He remembers but he lies to protect himself.

"Yeah, Elli cries, what? When one of her favorite characters dies or something amazing happens in her books? She called me crying and refused to let me come over. She refused to come over. She told me everything until then. Don't think it's a coincidence." Harrison just stares Tom down, his turn to be the protective best friend.

Harrison normally wouldn't remember something like that. He might remember Elli calling him crying but not the exact time. This time he did because Elli refused to let him really help. The only thing she wanted was for Harrison to talk to her. Talk her down. That's it. She wouldn't say what happened and she denied it had anything to do with Tom. And Harrison did as she asked because he didn't want to push her as she sobbed on the other end and it nearly broke him having to listen to her. Now he knows that it was because of Tom.

Tom shakes his head. "I'm sure it's not. Sure she called you."

"Yeah, but I'm a shit friend." Harrison mutters under his breath and then he remembers something. "Wait. You said you froze, why? You liked her then." Tom's brows furrow, silently asking Harrison how he knew. "You said it was only a few months before Shawn had asked her, and we all know what happened that day."

Tom nods. "Yeah." He exhales and raises his brows, eyes cold. "I was scared, she caught me off guard."

"What made you decide you were gonna ask her that night then?" Harrison pushes for more answers.

Tom shrugs because he really doesn't have a full, coherent answer. "I dunno, tired of not saying it. It felt weird between us and I just, wasn't scared anymore? I don't know! But then she came home and Shawn asked her out."

"So why didn't you just fuckin' tell her after? Or that night? I get she was happy but--"

"She was happy." Tom cuts Harrison off in a rush of a panicked yell and that's when Harrison gets it.

"Shawn made her happy." Harrison confirms.

"Yeah," Tom's eyes widen. "I already fucked it up and I wasn't gonna fuck it up again for her. She doesn't deserve it."

"He cheated on her though." Harrison offers words of clarity.

"Yeah," Tom sighs with a wince. "And I had to watch her go through it. Don't want her like that cause of me."

"That's a bit selfish, don't you think?"

"Maybe." Tom remarks. "But you wanted to know."

"You wouldn't cheat on her." Harrison states the obvious.

"Nope." Tom pops the 'p'. "But we could break up and we could fight and I could hurt her and I don't want that. I saw it first hand on our bathroom floor. You didn't see her like I did and I won't let it happen."

"How is she okay? I mean.." Harrison trails off, trying to figure out how Elli has managed to just be okay, continue living with Tom and interacting like nothing happened even right after the fact.

Harrison feels like a mess and Elli, she seemed to just pick herself up like it never happened. Harrison didn't know and he was called right after. Tom and Elli never acted any different. He doesn't get it.

"She's incredible." Tom says with ease and the corners of his mouth tug into a smile, his eyes crinkling at the ends and Harrison can just shake his head.

"Yeah, well, I won't tell her because I know that's what you'll be asking of me." Harrison takes a drink of the beer.

"Yeah."

"Will you ever tell her though?"

"Probably not." Tom says.

"You really wanna risk not ever giving it a shot?" Harrison asks and it's not so much a question but a statement.

"Gotta be." Tom lifts the bottle to his lips and takes a drink.

He would love to tell her but he also knows himself and while his past relationships haven't been horrible, he has been the one to call off almost every single one of them. It's always because things just stop working or he stops feeling the same way he did at the beginning. He feels guilty every time but that doesn't make the other people feel any better. He doesn't want that for Elli, he doesn't want that for his best friend. He hurt her once and if he has to live with not telling her in order to not hurt again, he will. Tom will sacrifice his heart for her without question.

A few minutes of silence pass, Harrison and Tom finishing off their drinks. The air starts to thin out, the tension subsiding and it almost feels normal. They both yelled and got out their frustrations as best they could. They said what they wanted and had to and it just about feels normal, finally.

"We good?" Harrison asks.

"Yeah, we're good." Tom chuckles. "Sorry."

"Yeah, me, too." Harrison chuckles.

"I'm gonna head back then." Tom walks over to the trash and tosses the beer bottle.

"I'll call her when you leave." Harrison says. "Is she alright?"

Tom nods. "Was asleep when I left, waiting by the phone for you."

Harrison nods with a breathy sigh. Of course, he really was going to call Elli but he planned to do it later. He wanted to do it later in the night so he could call and say they were fine and make up an excuse to get off the phone but after the honesty that unfolded in his kitchen, he knows that's not an option.

He's pissed at Tom for freezing but he gets it. If it were him, maybe he would have froze, too. If it were him, he would know when she told him and how and what they were doing and maybe he would have froze, too so maybe Tom isn't such an ass. He's an ass for waiting but if it's not said then, it almost feels insincere later, like it's just being said out of guilt or pity. So, Harrison gets why Tom needed to build up courage and why it took a few months. Pissed, but he gets it and now he doesn't want to do the same thing Tom did. Ignore her over her candour.

"Alright." Harrison states. "Cold?"

"It's December." Tom retorts as he walks to the door. "Yeah 's cold."

"Right." Harrison's face drops as his brows furrow.

"Gonna see if she can meet you at the Pier?" Tom grips the door handle as Harrison nods. "Have 'er meet you at Jeni's. She's been wanting ice cream." Harrison quirks a brow at Tom. "What?"

Harrison has stuff he'd love to say but it'd likely cause an argument. He finds it a bit funny that Tom can play off an 'i love you' from Elli but he knows when she wants ice cream and where to go. Sure, they live together so maybe it's not that weird but Harrison finds it so ironic it's almost comical. But at the same time, it almost brings this sense of acceptance over him. Tom pays attention to Elli in ways Harrison doesn't. Tom might not think he deserves Elli and she deserves better but Harrison would be dammed if he didn't think the two of them had their names written in the stars.

"Forgot she's got a thing for Jeni's." Harrison chuckles.

"Yeah," Tom runs a hand through his hair, shaking the loose curls. "It's her favorite."

"Thanks."

"Yep." Tom gives a single nod. "Now, call her, please." He opens the door but before he leaves, Harrison just has one more thing to say.

"It's not gonna change your mind, whatever, but for the record," Harrison sighs and Tom turns to face him. "You guys would be good together."

He's not looking to change Tom's mind but in case Tom can't see it, Harrison needed to tell him. They are good together. It's why people always assume they're together. They work as one while working as individuals. They look like the dream, what everyone who wants to be in love dreams of having. So, Harrison had to tell him and Tom nods because he knows.

We're so good together. Tom thinks but it's just another thing on the list of things he'll never say.

"Yeah," Tom nods before heading out.

On the way back to the apartment, Tom feels like he's lifted a few bricks from his chest for the first time in years. As far as Tom knows, Elli never told anyone besides him that she loved him and arguably, that was probably a misstep of Tom to tell Harrison but he needed to say something. He had to tell the truth about something and that, those three words from her perfect pink lips, have haunted him and he needed to just say it out loud. He can't talk to Elli about it, especially now, it's been over two years, so it feels good to have Harrison know and understand some of his thinking. It feels good not to lie about liking her or being in love with her anymore. But, there's a sadness there, too.

With Harrison knowing, it feels good but Elli will never know and it's sad. Tom feels like he missed his chance. And every time he replays her words, every time he thinks about being madly in love with her, it hurts. It burns and stings and aches, it pulls and tugs at every muscle and veins and string of his being. It's sad but he hurt her once and he doesn't want to risk that again. He's scared. He's scared of being in love, being in love with anyone but being in love with his best friend is the scariest of all.

Tom arrives back home and he's met with the sound of the tv still playing when he walks through the door but Elli isn't laying down, she's sitting up, her blonde hair pulled in a messy bun with the phone pressed to her ear. Tom's quiet as he takes his shoes off, careful not to disturb her, assuming it's Harrison but by the time he got off both shoes, Elli was hanging up the phone and turning to face him.

"Hey." She greets, an almost shy smile on her lips.

"Hey." Tom matches the expression as he walks over to her.

Tom stands against the back of the couch while Elli is on her knees, hands on the back of the couch and facing him, putting them at almost the same height. He waits for her to say something, expecting her to say she's going to meet Harrison but she doesn't. Instead, Elli reaches up and cups his face, bringing his lips to hers in a deep kiss.

A rush comes over Tom and for this second with her lips on his, he thinks maybe Harrison had told her what he said and maybe she feels the same and he's got nothing to worry about. The rush is relief and love for her and it's overflowing as if a dam collapsed.

His arms go around her back and pull her as close to him as the back of the couch will allow and he doesn't want to let go. She tastes like coffee and vanilla and she is so warm, he swears he could never be cold again, not even in the worst of the Chicago winters. But, then she pulls away and she's smiling at him.

"Thank you."

"For what?" Tom asks, his voice holding a breathy quiver.

"Talking to Haz." Elli's eyes are gentle like a baby deer's.

"Of course, do anything for you." Tom mutters and his heart starts to deflate.

That's what the kiss is for.

"He wants to meet at Jeni's." Elli says with excitement as she moves her hands to his shoulders.

"Good, you gonna go now?" Tom asks, shoving away the crushing feeling.

"Yep, but I had to thank you first." Elli kisses his lips again, this time just a quick peck and Tom just nods. "I don't know what you said or did but thank you. He's my best friend and I think I would lose my mind if I lost him."

"I know." Tom says and he does know, he's always known what Harrison means to her because Harrison means the same to him.

"Do you want me to bring you some ice cream?" Elli offers with a cheeky smile.

Elli's eyes are bright and happy and it almost relieves the deflating. "No," Tom laughs. "'S alright, thanks though."

"Text me if you change your mind." Elli says.

Tom puts his forehead to hers and whispers. "I will."

He doesn't want to let go but he has to, she'll be back because she always comes home. But for the moment, he just doesn't want her to leave. And if it weren't Harrison, Elli wouldn't want to leave either because every time Tom does this, every time he looks at her with his forehead to hers, her heart stops. And it's always in the most exhilarating way, that makes her feel like she's in the clouds.

"You know I love you, right?" Elli asks, tone hushed.

"I know." Tom repeats.

"I owe you." Elli whispers.

"No, you don't. It's what friends do." Tom pulls away and kisses her nose. "Should get going before Harrison beats you there."

Elli pushes off his shoulders and gets off the couch, clad in her pajamas still. "You're right, I'ma get dressed."

Elli rushes off to her room to make a quick change into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, a pullover hoodie over top. Tom makes for the fridge to find anything to eat and allows the air of the apartment to fall back into something normal.

It'll wear off, the feeling of being deflated like a forgotten balloon. It always does. The air will go back to laughter and music, normal and happy like it always does. The unsaid words will be etched along the walls in invisible ink but they'll be silent. No pounding of everything Tom should have said and should say, just silence with Elli's laughter reverberating off the hidden letters. The way Tom loves it.

"You have a show tonight, don't you? Usual bar?" Elli asks as she makes her way back into the kitchen, still buttoning her jeans.

"Yeah, play 'round seven." Tom looks over his shoulder at Elli.

"Just making sure." Elli says, close-mouthed smile on her lips.

"Riding me or Haz?" Tom asks, looking back to the fridge and opting for lunch meat for a sandwich.

"Up to you." Elli offers with the shrug of her shoulders while she reaches for her coat.

"If Haz is coming, you can ride with him since you'll already be with him." Tom suggests.

"Alright." Elli nods. "I'll grab my camera and let him know. See you there?"

"Yep." Tom flashes her smile before reaching for the bread on the counter.

Elli goes back to her room for her camera and heads out. She knows she owes Tom for whatever he said to Harrison even if Tom says she doesn't. Sure, it's what friends do but Harrison is his friend, too and Tom didn't have to step in and it means a lot to her. Tom would do anything for her and Elli knows that. He never has to but he does and it's what makes Tom one of the most important people to her. Losing Tom would be just as bad as losing Harrison so she's just happy to have them both, at least, hopefully.

While she makes her way to the ice cream shop thanks to public transport, she realizes that Harrison wasn't talkative, not that he ever is over the phone so for all she knows, it might not go the way she thinks it will.

If they weren't going to be okay, Tom wouldn't have let her go. He would have told her or given her a heads up but there's a part of her that worries maybe he's still pissed, and rightfully so. She would be if she were him. But, she wants to take it all back and be honest with him or at the very least, take back kissing him. Maybe if she hadn't kissed him, he wouldn't have been nearly as upset. It was just a disaster and she wants to make up for it in any way she can and now all she can do is hope that Harrison will let her.

Elli walks into the shop and Harrison is already sat at one of the tables with his mint chocolate chip ice cream. Elli smiles when Harrison smiles at her, lifting the small cup with the white plastic spoon to greet her and it's that moment she knows everything between them is just fine.

She goes to the counter and orders just a small chocolate ice cream bowl before meeting Harrison to take a seat. "Hey."

"Hey." Harrison smiles. "How ya feeling?"

"Should be asking you that." Elli takes a bite of her ice cream.

"I'm fine, now." Harrison chuckles.

"Good, I'm really sorry."

Harrison shakes his head."You've said that a hundred times. It's alright, I would've done the same."

"Yeah, but I should have just been honest with you and told you how I felt instead of going out and everything."

Harrison shrugs a shoulder, knowing Elli did what she thought was right. "It's okay. I get it. We're friends and we try to do what's best for each other even if it sucks or it hurts, right?"

"Yeah." Elli huffs with a smile. "Even when it hurts."

"So, we're good. I'm good. I'll get over it." Harrison gives her a genuine smile.

If it weren't for what Tom had said, that would be a blatant lie but now it's not. He'll get over it, he's fine and they're good. They're good and fine because whether Elli is still in love with Tom or not, she at one point was and Tom puts himself through hell to make sure she's happy. So, Harrison's okay with her screwing up a date she did to try and make sure he didn't get hurt. She did for it for him and he gets it.

"Really, you alright? Tom said you were pretty upset."

"Yeah," Elli sighs, cheeks flaring red. "I was just afraid I was gonna lose you and I knew I hurt you."

Harrison's brows furrow before he starts to smile and pokes her forehead. "You're stuck with me, sorry. We've been friends too long to throw it away because a date didn't go well."

"Yeah, you're right." Elli says, with wide eyes. "You're just important, ya know?"

"Oh, I know." Harrison laughs. "You'd probably be dead without me."

Elli tries to glare at him but only breaks out into laughter. "Yeah, you're probably right."

"Remember when you almost got hit by a bus and I pulled you out of the way? You would be dead but I saved your life." A cocky grin comes to Harrison's face as he sticks the plastic spoon in his mouth.

"Yeah! And remember when you told my fucking mom and she almost killed me! I do!"

Harrison leans back in his chair, laughing. "It slipped!"

"Oh, bullshit! You wanted my mom to rip me our for that!" Elli points the spoon at him, unable to hold back her laughter.

"You should have looked before crossing the damn road!"

"I did!"

"Yeah," Harrison scoffs. "Thirty seconds before you were gonna walk and put your camera to your face."

Elli laughs, mouth closed as she nods. "Yeeeeaaahhhhh. Not my finest moment. But, remember that time you had to get stitches because you thought it was a good idea to try and kickflip the five stair when you could barely land one on flat ground?"

"Grounded for a damn week over that!" Harrison groans, tilting his head back.

"Yeah, cause you cost your parents five hundred dollars in the ER! Don't be stupid!" Elli chortles before going to finish the rest of her ice cream.

"Yeah, we'd be dead without each other." Harrison says, pushing his empty cup to the center of the table.

"You're right." Elli chuckles, pushing hers against his.

"We have nearly a decade of near-death experiences from the other."

"Longest decade of my life." Elli fakes a disgruntled sigh.

"You've only been alive for two decades." Harrison retorts.

"And it's been a fucking long one." Elli points a finger at him, straight-faced but only for a seconds before a smile breaks through.

"I'd miss this too much, ya know?" Harrison says, dropping the banter.

"Me, too." Elli's smile softens and it really feels like everything is gonna be okay. "Thanks, Haz."

Harrison just smiles and the ache in his chest is gone. Their friendship is more important than anything. It's not often they go back and forth, it's more her and Tom's thing but when they do, it's some of the best conversation they have and Harrison would hate to ever lose it. Yeah, he's got a crush on her but it's a crush. He'll move on and he'll still have her. He loves her, but he loves her as a best friend and he accepts it. It's not supposed to him and her and he knows now.

"What?" Elli asks, breaking Harrison's thought.

"Happy to have you as a friend. You and Tom." Harrison says, quiet smile pulling at one corner of his lips.

"Speaking of who, he's got a show, goes on around seven." Elli says.

"That means we have time for more ice cream." Harrison smirks as he checks the time on his phone. "Same?"

"Yes, please." Elli beams.

"Got it." Harrison nods, grabbing their bowls and getting up.

Harrison walks off and Elli watches him. He's her best friend and she is so eternally grateful to have him. He makes her happy and there's not an ounce of her that thinks he won't be okay or happy in the end. He's one of the good ones. A good guy, a good friend, a good person. He's one of the best and Elli looks forward to the day she gets to see Harrison with someone who makes him as happy as anyone ever could. He deserves the world. Both of her friends deserves the entire world. Maybe one day Harrison and Tom will get the world.