Rushes of anxiety crash through Elli's veins as she knocks on the door to the apartment she called home. Music was playing from inside, now too loud but just enough for it to be heard and she knew Parker must be in the living room. And there's this part of her that's tugging on the strap of her backpack, looking down the hallway, ready to take off and run back to Collyn's place. But, she's frozen in place and the door creaks out, revealing Parker is his usual t-shirt and jeans that hang too low, his hair messy from the day.

Parker's eyes widen at the sight of her and it's been two months and it's like a hurricane just hits him. He wants to hug her and smile and just tell her how much he missed her. She's his best friend and he's missed every second they haven't spoken or see each other. And he wants to kiss her and tell her he loves her because butterflies are just swarming through every part of his body, fluttering and electrifying his bones. But above all that, he wants to scream and yell.

Elli ignored him for two months. He might have ignored her when she said she loved him the first time but he ignored her for a few minutes, not two months and that's the difference. Two months is a long time and it's been a rough two months. His feelings remain but the anger and resentment he feels towards her are hot through his veins, screaming in agony. His best friend didn't have the decency to speak to him. She couldn't even give him the rent. All she did was stop by while he was at work and leave it on the table. Elli went to great lengths to avoid him and now she's knocking on her own door.

But, she meets his eyes for the first time and she's the calm in the pouring rain. He's pissed, he's broken, and hurt, betrayed but he opens the door for her to come in. He keeps his anger and every loud emotion to himself and chooses to be calm, he shuts the loud off. If he can shut the loud off, he won't snap because he doesn't owe her anything. If he lets the heartbreak and everything he's wanted to say start flowing from his lips, they won't get anywhere. She left and ignored him, it's up to her to talk. Parker is just going to let her inside and let it be. As roommates.

"Hey." He says and he keeps his anger and heartbreak at bay while she comes in.

"Hey." She says, voice quiet as her eyes are on the floor and then there's just silence.

She walks inside and looks around, the kitchen clean and same for the living room besides a few pieces of paper laid out on the floor. But, it's quiet. Parker's shut the music off and it just feels like the shell of two people, two ghosts who used to live happy and carefree lives. It's the shell of what could have been and what was. Maybe that's it's own form of heartbreak.

"Are, uh, are you home?" Parker asks, clearing his throat.

Elli nods, eyes barely glancing to him and she didn't expect seeing him to hurt like a ton of razor blades to her chest. "Yeah, Collyn, um...." Elli sucks in a breath and she's trying to find something to say. "He buys the wrong chips."

Parker scoffs and he can feel the loud and red of emotion start to pound against his skull and chest. "Really? You're here over.....chips?"

Elli's eyes are still trained gets upon the floor, not wanting to see the disgust and disappointment in his eyes. "No...." Elli says quietly and then goes silent.

Parker states back at her before he shakes his head with nothing else to say. He goes to the living room and starts to putting the record back before moving to the floor to clean up the sheets of paper that are covered in mismatched lyrics. He doesn't even glance to her but Elli's eyes are trained on him the entire time, and it's about to send Parker into a downward spiral.

"Right." Parker gets up and he finally meets her stare only for Elli to divert it back to the ground. "Be in my room, rent's due on the first but you know that."

Parker starts to make his way to the kitchen, heading towards the hallway and Elli is watching him, trying to find anything to say to stop him.

"Parker..." She squeaks, making him stop but not look back at her.

There's a million things Elli wants to say but she doesn't know where to begin. She wants to apologize but she wants to just start rambling and get everything off of her chest. She wants to explain herself and promise that it'll never happen again. Elli wants Parker to turn around and face her and talk it out so maybe she can speak and just, fix what's been broken but it's hard. No one ever said it was going to be easy but no one said it would be this hard either.

"I love you." Elli whispers. "In love with you." She specifies and Parker just stands there, back to her for a few seconds more.

He's wanted to hear it, hear it better than he did the last time he saw her but not now. Now it feels like sour gone bad. It sparks a fire in his stomach and it's making him want to lose his cool with her. They've been friends for years but this is, this is not what friends do to each other.

"You wanna do this now?" Parker spits, turning around to face her.

Elli nods. "Yeah."

Parker gestures a hand out. "Okay, what?" He lets out a huff before crossing his arms over his chest.

"You're gonna be like that? Really?" Elli asks, brows furrowed together and she wants a civil conversation.

Parker's eyes widen in disbelief. "Be like what?" Parker scoffs. "Be pissed at you? Yeah, pretty sure I've got every right to."

Elli looks to the floor before glancing back to him. "I'm sorry, okay?"

"No, it's not okay!" Parker feels himself starting to lose the battle to the anger. "I tell you I'm in love you and you go to Collyn's! You ignore me for two fuckin' months and show up like it's never fuckin' happened! You're shiting me, ya?"

"I know!" Elli yells, arms flying out in front of her. "I know, okay? I know I fucked up and I'm sorry!"

"We have a rule." Parker's teeth grit. "You wouldn't even spend a fucking night here after I told you." His voice cracks and the wave of anger is being washed away with the waves of heartbreak. "You couldn't stay a night after I told you. Was that some sick payback for when I didn't say it back?"

Elli's eyes widen and she takes a step forward but Parker takes a step back. "No, no no, never! That was never it. I wouldn't--"

"You did." Parker cuts her off. "You did do it. I told you I'm in love you and you left. You ignored me. I told you that I'm sorry for ignoring and I am but for fuck's sake, I tried to fucking tell you after. I tried to talk to you and you ran away then, too."

"I was scared, alright?" Elli fights back and Parker just shakes his head.

"Of what?" He shrugs. "Our friendship ending? Because you've done a good job at that so far."

In the silence of the room that followed that statement, Elli almost swears the two of them could have heard both of their hearts completely shatter. Parker's head hangs and Elli's eyes water and the intent was never to ruin their friendship but he's right. Elli knows he's right but she never thought he'd ever dream of saying it. And Parker knows it's true but he didn't mean to say it. He'd never intentionally say something like that to her but he did. And he can't take it back.

"I was scared of you." Elli mutters, a few tears falling onto her cheeks.

Parker's head lifts as he looks at her. "Me?"

"I know, I told you and you're right, I'm a shit friend about this." Elli sighs, wiping her eyes. "I shouldn't have told you before. I had bad timing and you deserve better than that."

Parker can feel what's coming. He knows she's going to go on a rant about how he deserves better because he's had the same discussion with Collyn and himself about her. Parker's always felt Elli deserve better than him for one reason or another and he doesn't want to listen to her think anything less.

"Don't say it." Parker says.

"No, it's true. You deserve better than me."

Parker shakes his head. "It's...."

"Are you gonna stand there and tell me you deserve someone who ignores you for two months, completely ignoring and disregarding your feelings?" Elli crosses an arm over her chest.

Parker shakes his head once more. "No....but--"

"Okay." Elli clears her throat. "You obviously deserve someone better who can tell you how they feel but also, you deserve better than me before any of that. And I don't mean that in a way of I'm not good enough because I know I'm pretty and smart and damn good at my job and I'm passionate and creative and usually a decent friend but not in comparison to you. You are so okay with just being you, living here, playing your music in some run-down bar because it's what you love. You've never even questioned it. You love your radio show and that's it. You're so happy just being and I don't know how you do it. I'm happy with what I have and who I am but I don't know how you can be so happy and not wonder if you're wasting your life. You're not, I don't think so, but I don't get how you can just do that and you deserve someone who understands that."

Parker takes a step forward. "I...it doesn't bother me, Elli." Parker says and the anger and heartbreak is just being filled with sadness and empathy. "It's never bothered me that you've wanted to quit certain jobs because you deserve better. You don't have to get me with this, ever. I admire you for wanting more, expecting more because you know you're good."

"But it's different." Elli argues with frustration in her voice.

"How?"

"It just is, I don't know."

"It's not different. I don't fuckin' care about it. You support me, that's what I give a shit about." Parker's voice is stern.

"But I care! I care about it! And it's more than that, too."

"What more, Elli?" Parker almost yells, trying to get everything out of Elli.

"I just, I almost died and ya know, the only thing I was thinking about is you? I thought about my family, sure, but I thought about you. I thought about if you were in the building, if you were outside and if you'd try to get in, what would happen to you if you were inside, what if you were with us when it had happened, what if there was another explosion and it hit you. Okay, that's what I thought about. I could have died and I was trapped and you were my only fucking thought. That's terrifying." Elli's voice quivers with the last of her words.

"I'm sorry it happened." Parker says. "I am, but, you being scared, that doesn't justify what you did."

He understands what Elli is saying but that part of him that denied being in love with her is blinding him all over again, this time with her point. It's not about him being in love with her, not fully, it's where her mind falls. It's that, even in life or death situations, she can't think about herself because Parker clouds her thoughts. He's always in the forefront of her mind and it's terrifying to think she might really need him, or anyone, to live.

"Are you listening?" Elli screams, the frustration clear in her voice.

"Yes! Are you listening to me?" Parker spits back. "I'm in love with you and you walked out and broke my heart. I'm listening, loud and bloody clear and being scared is no fuckin' reason to ignore me for two fucking months! I'm sorry but it'snot fair to me!" Parker takes another step forward, the broken pieces pulling him to the only person who put them back together.

"Parker!" Elli yells, her voice desperate to get him to stop.

"Let me finish! I can't breathe without you and it fucking sucks but I didn't run from you. You're my best friend above everything else and I need you here and you left! You left me and didn't give me an explanation!" His voice cracks and it just hurts the both of them more.

"I told you I needed time!" Elli tries to defend with a step forward.

"Yeah, heat of the moment but a fuckin' text would have been fine. Let me know you're alive and you don't hate me!" Parker's face is red with a mixture of pain and anger, veins sticking out from his neck and eyes glossing over.

"You think I hate you?" The brokenness of Parker's voice is like shards of glass through Elli's chest.

"Why wouldn't I?" Parker's face relaxes into something of utter sadness and hopelessness.

"Because I could never hate you." Elli says, voice quiet but honest and her brows are furrowed in heartbreak. "Do you hate me?"

"What?" Parker takes a few steps forward. "No, of course not."

The words float the air between them and it's as if the anger has been let out with the simple confirmation. Parker's hurt and he's tired of being afraid and hearing about being afraid of one thing or another. Being afraid or anything shouldn't stop two people and sure, his fear stopped him first but now it's Elli. And he's so hurt by what she did, it's hard for him not to hate her but he doesn't. And he could never hate her. He hates what she did but that's it and people make mistakes. She hated what he did to her. He can move past it.

"There's more, ya know?" Elli offers with sad eyes.

"More to why you left?"

"Yeah."

Parker runs a hand through his hair and there's nothing Elli could say that would justify her actions and that's not what she's trying to do. She's just trying to tell him exactly what was going on in her head. It's what he deserves.

"Okay." Parker sighs, nodding and allowing her to finish.

"You said you couldn't breathe without me." Elli states, a fragileness to her voice.

"That?" Parker questions. "I didn't mean it--"

"No," Elli stops him. "I know what you meant when you said it and that's....I mean," Elli stumbles for words. "You said you need me."

'You're my best friend, 'course I need you." Parker says, the words flowing so easily through his lips.

"Yeah, well that's my problem. That's the main reason I left. I needed you and you told me you loved me and it scared me. I almost died and thought of you. And it scared me. Whenever anything happens, I think of you. Whenever I need anything, I think of you and when I want something, I think of you. It's always you and I have been so fucking dependant on you because I love you that I didn't know what to do, okay?" Frustration breaks the fragileness but it's not towards Parker, it's towards herself.

"It's okay to need people, Elli."

"No, it is but it's not for me. Not the way I felt I needed you. I thought I needed you to live and do everything. You even made me food all the time because I'm terrible at it. I'm bad at something and instead of trying to be better, you do it. You do everything for me and I love you for it. I do but I need to do things on my own."

"You do my laundry. You've cleaned my room before without being asked. You do the dishes for me. You do a lot for me, too. We both do things for each other. That's not co-dependency, that's being friends and roommates." Parker tries to reason.

"I know, I know, but I just.....I felt like I actually needed you to do anything and I was scared and I didn't want you to be the same way. I didn't want you to need me. What would either of us do without the other if we needed each other? We'd be fucked and I couldn't do that to you and I couldn't do that to myself. I want you and I have always wanted you but I needed to know I didn't need you to be me. I needed to know I could myself without you."

"I don't need you like that." Parker says. "I don't but..." Parker trails off, still processing Elli's words.

It makes sense. It does. It's not healthy to actually need someone to live unless there's a medical reason but two people under these circumstances, shouldn't need each other to be able to function. They have to be their own people first and foremost.

"But what?" Elli grows nervous once more with the pause.

"But, maybe you make a good point. We've become a routine and it was hell the first two weeks. Absolute fuckin' hell, I wanted to hate you. I tried to hate you because it hurt so fuckin' bad but I went to work and I played shows and I went home to London and it didn't hurt as bad. It still hurt because I'm in love with you but you're my best friend but it's not as bad as it was and I don't need you to live but I really, really want you to be in my life."

Elli nods, her heart starting to thunder in her chest as she hopes this is the start of something progressive, "And I want you in mine. I can live without you but I don't want to."

Parker stares back at her, eyes softening but he doesn't say anything else. He waits for her to continue because it's not about justification or excuses, it's just about what they think about each other and it's about apologies and how to move forward. Parker has said everything he needed to and it still hurts a little because she screwed him over but the hurt will fade just as hers did with him. People mess up, sometimes it's really bad and it hurts a lot of people, but everyone messes up and if they can't apologize and learn from that and get a second chance, what's the point?

"Um," Elli looks to the floor. "I'm sorry and I'm in love with you and I should have texted you and if I could go back and redo it, I would. I would text you and tell you that I'm scared but that I love you. I would do it differently, better and I promise, I won't do it again but if you don't want to forgive me, I understand and I can leave. I can go to my parents' house if being with Collyn is too complicated since he's your friend, too but I just needed to come and--"

Elli is just rambling on and on while Parker lets her. Her words are laced in honesty and sincerity with hints of heartbreak and sadness and guilt. She just keeps apologizing and saying she knows it's not an excuse, she should have done better. Parker agrees but his timing could have been better. Maybe had he listened to Collyn in the first place, Elli wouldn't have taken two months. She did say she wasn't sure about her life that night and then Parker springs this on her.

It's a waste of life to sit on feelings that could be out there. People shouldn't live with the thought of thinking someone might die but that's the reality. People don't always come home and it's better to tell someone they're loved than to go on hiding it. It's better to listen and forgive than hold a grudge when it's someone they care about. Life is too short to hold onto feelings and anger when everything can be talked out and taken care of. It's too short to remain angry.

It's not Parker's fault but maybe, just maybe, it's not completely hers. They both messed up one time or another. They hurt each other to protect themselves and then they came back, putting their hearts at risk for the other. Everyone makes mistakes. And Elli is no different, Parker isn't any different so Parker moves closer to her.

Elli is still rambling just watching Parker close the distance between them and she keeps talking as he cups her face and captures her lips with his. Elli's eyes shoot open, surprise taking over her body but her heart just beats in her chest as fast as it can and it's got her frozen in place, scared to make a move in case this isn't real and it's some form of a dream. But, Parker pulls away, hands still on her cheeks and the once cold and venomous expression has changed to one of contentment.

"You hurt me." Parker whispers. "I hurt you and no one said this would be easy."

The shock starts to wear off and Elli rests her forehead against his. "But we don't leave and we work through it and we don't hurt each other again." Elli's words held at the same whisper as Parker's.

"Yeah, we move on from it."His eyes meet hers and Elli's heart is screaming for him because she really thought she ruined everything but Parker, he knew he could never stay mad at her once she apologized.

"So...we....we're okay?" Elli asks.

Parker smiles for the first time since seeing her. "We're okay, darlin'."

Elli smiles and pulls him for another kiss only to break it a second later. "Oh, wait."

"What?" Parker quirks a brow, heart sinking and dreading what else she could say.

"Um, I told Collyn." Elli says nervously.

"Told him what? About us?"

"Yeah, I told him about how I told you I loved you and all that and so ya know, I ended up telling him he's been right the whole time." Elli rambles and she's waiting for Parker to pull away and take this all back but he doesn't.

He laughs.

Her favorite sound fills the room and his forehead rests onto hers. "Thank fuck. I swore I thought I was gonna be the one to slip."

"You're not mad?" Elli asks, voice laced in surprise.

"No," Parker chuckles. "I've been wanting to tell him since we started." There's an uncontrollable shit-eating grin taking over Parker's face.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

Parker shrugs. "You wanted to keep it a secret, you had a reason. I didn't really have one for wanting to tell him."

"You? Not have a reason for something? Bullshit."

Parker chuckles. "Alright, I wanted to talk 'bout you."

"You did?"

"Yeah! Why are you so surprised?" Parker pulls his head away, hands moving to her waist.

"I don't know." A blush creeps onto Elli's face. "I just...I don't know. So, you're not mad?"

Parker shakes his head, melodic chuckles falling from his lips. "Relieved." He sucks in a breath and gives a half-shrug. "In fact, I could teach you how to cook so you won't need me to make food for you." He's teasing her, eyes widening and a smirk covering his face but Elli's got him beat.

"It's okay, living with Collyn actually made me learn how to follow a recipe because I thought I was going to starve to death or literally eat so many eggs, I thought I'd turn into a chicken." Elli's eyes are wide as if to be in fear.

Parker laughs, nose scrunching and eyes crinkling. "So proud of you." His tone is mocking but Elli can't be bothered, she has missed this.

Elli's head falls forward, a weight lifting off her chest. "Well, in that case," Elli sucks in a breath and bites her lip, sliding her hands around the back of his neck. "Can I kiss you, Parker?"

Parker's smile is wide before he presses his lips to hers once more, this time Elli kissing him back. She hums against him as Parker pulls her impossibly close to him and it's like everything was worth it.

His lips are moving against hers, deepening every kiss and she's letting herself melt into him and it's so worth. Every tear and ache of their hearts, it's worth it. It's worth it as Parker leads her to his bedroom and they're both trying to strip their clothes, getting stuck and nearly tripping while bursting into fits of laughter. Everything that's been broken and mended has been worth getting here, the two of them melting into the bed as if two beating hearts coming together for the first time.

Parker's lips are attached to Elli's neck while one hand kneads her breast and Elli's nails scratch his back slightly, ankles wrapped around his thighs to pulls him closer to her. Parker kisses his way from her neck to her lips before resting his already sweaty forehead against hers.

His eyes are dark brown, darker than normal with lust and happiness and it's got a way of making Eli's stomach and heart just want to explode from the love she feels for him. Her skin tingles and a smile comes to her face, Parker matching the same expression before kissing her lips sweetly and thrusting into her.

Elli's mouth hangs open as a gasp comes from her mouth, fingers digging into Parker's shoulders. Parker kisses her cheek before moving back to her forehead, keeping his thrusts deliberate and steady, not focusing on getting off but just being in the moment with Elli. His hands reach for hers, interlocking their fingers and his thrusts increase.

Sheer layers of sweat soon cover their bodies and their hearts are racing with Parker's ever-growing sloppy thrusts as he starts to approach his high and Elli can feel herself not far from her own and this is so much better than any other time the two of them had sex.

They've been having sex for years now, not continuously with their other relationships but still, it's been years and every time it's fun, exciting, good, it's always been good but there's something different about this sex. The sex that's just the two of them, giggling when they knock teeth or quick pecks the other expects to be long and deep. It feels like there's actually something passionate there because there is.

Feelings are exposed and they're mutual and everything is just aired out and it was rocky. It's been a hurricane but now it's the calm when the sun comes out and everything is there, peaceful and even beautiful. There's plenty to work on and fix, but the storm is over.

Parker's hips rut against Elli's as they both moan out each other's names, toes curling and nails digging each other's hands as their highs hit. Gasps consume the room as they come down and then there's some quiet laughter from the two of them, Parker kissing the very tip of her nose and Elli scrunching it in response.

Parker rolls off her and the two of them work on cleaning themselves, Parker hitting the bathroom first to dispose of the condom and Elli to go to one of his drawers. The corners of her lips pull up as she opens one of the drawers to see wrinkled t-shirts, all folded half-assed. She picks up one of the black ones and it smells like him. It smells like home and all she can do is sigh in contentment and thank the universe for him before she moves to her own room to grab fresh underwear.

By the time she's done, Parker's out of the bathroom, allowing her inside. Parker grabs his own clothes, the usual blue plaid pajama pants and a fresh pair of Calvin Klein boxer briefs. Once he's clothed, he heads to the hallway and picks up their discarded clothing, bringing the clothing back to his own room and putting them in the hamper. And by the time he's laid back on his bed, Elli's walking into the doorway of his room.

"Borrowed my shirt." Parker quirks a brow.

"Do you mind?" Elli asks, tugging slightly on the hem.

"'Course not." Parker grins, extending an arm and welcoming her into his bed for the first time in two months.

Elli beams once more as she walks into his room and her stomach swirls with nervous butterflies, just like it did the first few times they ever shared a bed. It's like everything is new and exciting again but this time? This time they don't have to keep it a secret. They can scream everything from the rooftops and hickies won't be lied secrets, denying each other's names. There's no more hiding.

"I love you." Parker says, his voice more cheerful than it has been in months while his arm holds Elli close, her head his chest.

"I love you, too." Elli says back, smile still splitting her face as her fingers dance across his relaxed abs.

She can hear his heartbeat and it's so calm. It's beating faster than normal but she likes it, it's calming. It means he's just as nervous and happy as she is and it's like every broken piece the other shattered is being mended together like nothing ever happened. And it makes Elli wonder why Parker never said it before.

"Hey," Elli turns over, resting a hand on his chest and laying her chin on top of her hand to look up at Parker. "That picture you gave me, what was that?"

Parker's cheeks turn a vibrant shade of red. "Told you, I've always been in love with you." His eyes are gentle and loving as he brushes a strand of hair from her face.

"So, all that stuff you told me at the wedding?" Elli raises a brow in curiosity.

"Was talkin' bout you." Parker laughs, chest rumbling under Elli's hand.

"Parker!"

"You asked! I wasn't ready to tell you!" Parker continues to laugh as he looks down at her.

"Now I just feel stupid." Elli mocks.

"Psh," Parker scoffs. "How long you know you were in love me then? I'd no clue until you told me."

"Comic book store, right before it closed." Elli says without question and Parker's brows just furrow in confusion.

"Why?"

"I don't know." Elli laughs. "There was just something about that day and about you and it's kind of the time that I realize I might really love you. You were reading a Spider-Man comic, big surprise there, and you were so enthralled in something that wasn't music and it just, it made me happy. But," Elli pauses and a shy smile takes over. "The first time you played your version of Photograph, that was when I knew for sure."

"Yeah?" Parker asks, hand rubbing her back. "Why?"

"I thought of you and not because you were singing but because the song always makes me think of you." Elli says with honestly and Parker's eyes are so soft looking down at her and he knows that the heartbreak he experienced was worth getting here. "What about you? Why the snow?"

Parker sighs. "You were so happy that day and I thought about you." Parker says, smile coming to his face. "You looked at the snow like it were something magical and I knew I wanted you to look at me that way. Now, every time it snows I think of you, even when I hate the fuckin' snow, I think of you and I don't hate it anymore."

"I think that's the sweetest thing I've ever heard."

Parker huffs, timid smile on display. "Yeah, well it's true."

"Well, now what?" Elli asks.

"Mm," Parker hums, eyebrows wiggling. "We're doing this a little backwards but think I'd be asking you on a date or to just be my girlfriend?"

"Guess it's up to you?" Elli offers with the bite of her.

"Do you wanna go on a date with me and be my girlfriend?" Parker asks, and his tone is slightly mocking but there's still hope in his words.

"Absolutely." Elli laughs and the two seal it with a deep kiss, Parker's hand caressing Elli's cheek.