Posted: July 14th, 2017 | Edited: November 19th, 2019

It had been a week since we returned from Rome. I didn't have much work to do, as it was now on the digital creative team to design the layout of the calendar, color scheme, etc. The rest fell on an event planner who would plan the launch party. But, I knew it wouldn't last long. We had heard about a spring collection coming up and I was sure work for that would start soon.

"Sorry that took..." Arnav trailed off entering his office as I turned and he found me seating on his chair.

I smiled and got up, "It's okay. Ready to leave?" My eyes perked up as I waited for an answer. He finally blinked and nodded.

"Uh, yeah." He then slipped his laptop in the bag and zipping it, motioned for me to walk. He followed, pointing out, "You know, if you don't want people gossiping more than they already are, you shouldn't sit on my chair."

I waved it off, coming down the stairs and holding up my hand, showing him the ring on my finger, "See this? It gives me the right to sit anywhere I want in your fashion house." I stopped at one of the stairs for added effect, "Oh wait, unless you don't like people talking about you and me."

He let his thoughts known by reaching for my hand, "Please, I don't let gossips bother me."

I glanced down at our hands when his fingers intertwined with mine. Even though he had held my hand before, this small gesture caused my heart to leap slightly. My lips parted in a silent gasp. Most of our moments had been in private. To think that this was happening in the middle of the stairs where anyone could look up and see us. For some reason, it felt more intimate.

Though I had just said I didn't mind others talking about us, I realized I still needed to get used to it for saying it and acting on it were two different things.

I knew it were true for him. Past was proof. He did not let others' opinion drive his actions. I needed to learn to reach that level of indifference as well.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

As soon as we were home, my main concern was to find food to eat.

Home.

I didn't realize when his place started feeling as home to me, but it definitely made me smile. Maybe it was not because of the place itself, but the person who shared the space with me – Arnav.

I turned on the TV in the living room as I sat down on the couch and ate graham crackers with Nutella. Just as I was about to grab one from a plate I had prepared for myself, someone beat me to it. "They're mine." The little guy spoke.

I gave Aarav a stare down. "Did you get them from the kitchen and spread Nutella on it yourself?" He shook his head with a pout and such a sad look in his eyes. I almost smiled at how adorable he looked shaking his head. "Then I say they're mine."

"You know, I like you."

I squinted my eyes, catching on to what he was doing. He was turning on his charm so I would share my food. And, who was I to resist? "Well then, I guess I would be willing to share my food with you."

He happily plopped down on the couch next to me and the two of us started eating. He pointed out, "You know, if daddy finds us eating on the couch, he wouldn't be very happy."

"And do what? Yelling at people isn't anything new."

"True." When he went on to watching TV, I turned to just see how cute he looked.

He definitely had the good looks of the Raizada gene pool, but more importantly, he has bits and pieces of every single person involved in raising him.

Aarav.

It was impossible to not have a soft spot for him. It wasn't because I now knew Anjali's story or anything as such. He was a great kid. One I had taken a liking to all those years ago in that one meeting itself at the temple when I didn't even know who he was or anything about him and Anjali.

The situations of his birth might have been difficult, but the three 'parents' in his life were doing a marvelous job raising him. Somewhere, I wanted to just stay in the sidelines and be friends with him. He didn't need a fourth parent. I was content where we were.

"How long had you been home alone?"

He replied, not bothering to do the math. "Mom dropped me off around 3."

Huh, another thing in common with Arnav. Both hated math. Even simple math! How Arnav completed business school and got a degree, I have no idea.

An hour later, we were still watching TV. Only, we were done eating. An empty plate sat on the table in front of the couch. Crumbs licked off - I won't admit which of us was responsible for that.

"Uh, what are you doing?" Arnav asked, walking in the living room from his room.

I nonchalantly stated. "Watching Criminal Minds."

"And making a child watch that?"

Aarav got up and settled himself next to Arnav instead. "I wanted to watch it."

Even now, I hadn't moved my eyes off the screen. "What he said." I was glad for the little guys back up.

He let his thoughts known, "I'm worried about how Aarav will change if he spends more time with you."

I faked a laughter. I knew what he was talking about. I should have been careful to not let a kid watch a show like Criminal Minds, but I was also pretty sure this wasn't going to scar his innocence. He wasn't going to grow up and remember watching this episode. Heck, even if he was smarter than kids his age, he probably didn't even understand what was happening in the episode I was watching.

"You don't get a say in that. Aarav does."

He loosened his tie to get comfortable now that he wasn't working, "Have you talked to Armaan?"

"Hush." I scolded. I didn't even hear what he was saying. The episode was ending, and I wanted to see the kidnapper being caught, never mind the fact that this was one of the repeat episodes and I'd already watched this particular episode when it originally aired. "What were you saying?" I asked once the credits started rolling.

"Have you talked to Armaan? And shouldn't you be getting ready?"

"No." I checked my wrist watch to answer his second question. We were going out for dinner today. "And, I still have two hours. Why would I get ready this early?"

"I dunno, you girls take hours to get ready."

I rolled my eyes, "Don't discriminate, Raizada. It takes me fifteen minutes to get ready, if I'm actually trying, which is practically never. So, just five."

Aarav piped in with his commentary, "Hah, even mom can barely scold him and you're doing just fine." Arnav glared at him, while I passed him a grin along with winking. See, he was already on my side. No reason to not love him.

"I'm not just saying you girls take forever just because. I've grown up with Anjali and Kripa. But, knowing you, it's probably true. You don't try."

I was flipping through channels to try and find something else to watch, until Arnav asked me to stop at one. I groaned and passed over the remote, "I take no interest in this. So..." I stood up to leave for my room. "You're more than welcome to watch this boring news."

"Wait for me!" Aarav exclaimed, and followed behind. No surprise there. He was a kid. Which kid would choose to watch that willingly? If it were anyone else, Arnav probably would have gotten jealous. But seeing the two of us getting along, I was sure he didn't mind.

I could feel his eyes following us as we went up the stairs, holding Aarav's hand just in case so he wouldn't miss a step. We disappeared into Aarav's room, as he pulled me along there to show his videogames and other toys.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

Armaan asked for clarification, "So... how is Aarav your son?"

Anjali placed her spoon down in the plate as she answered, "I thought we were dating, but apparently for Shyam, it was just a game. You see, I used to be the quiet girl and Vivek told Shyam couldn't charm me. To prove him wrong, he started showing interest in me. I fell for it, but then he started pushing for a physical relationship and I wasn't ready for that. He... he didn't let that stop him though."

The rest, it didn't need to be said to understand. Shyam, not thinking much of it, left. He never knew Anjali had gotten pregnant. Arnav and Anjali left Shimla. After Armaan got into a fight with Vivek, he kidnapped me accidentally in place of Riddhima as a revenge prank to scare Armaan. Shyam suggested they make the 'best of it'. Even if things might be fuzzy about that night, I clearly remembered those words. The panic that had started to settle in afterwards... a part of me knowing where things were headed.

Arnav explained how he came across to find me, "That night, I was there to check up on our property. After everything, we didn't want anything to do with Shimla. Right after Aarav's birth, I returned to sell it. It was supposed to be empty, but I saw a light on. So, I went inside," He looked at me as he continued, "... and found you on the bed. I thought you were just sleeping at first, but as I went closer, I realized you were unconscious. You were in no position to say anything, but I had a pretty good idea of what might have happened. The room was a mess and you were hurt, bleeding. I didn't know who you were... but I knew Armaan, and I remembered seeing you with him at some of the basketball games when our schools competed. So, I took you to the hospital and got his number from a friend to call him. The second he got there and I knew you'd be safe then, I left. I had seen enough with di... I didn't want to stay."

I concluded, "That's why Armaan never told me who brought me to the hospital."

He nodded, and Armaan said once again, "He made me promise not to say. But a year later when Dr. Shashank suggested it would be better for you to recover if you were away from Shimla for some time, I called him, asking for help. I knew he had moved to Australia. I couldn't trust anyone else around you. I never wanted to go behind your back, Khushi, but I couldn't see you continue to suffer."

I smiled, squeezing his hand, "I know, Armaan. I already forgave you for this weeks ago." Like Arnav, Armaan had always looked out for me – for longer than Arnav, in fact. I could understand that he did what he thought would be the best for me. Meeting Arnav in college... I say that had been the best for me. Sure, we had our hiccups, but today, Arnav had become just as much an important person in my life.

Perhaps, even more.

He held a completely different place in my heart from Armaan and Riddhima.

Catching Arnav and Armaan glance at each other, Riddhima questioned, "What aren't you telling us?"

I noticed as well, and it felt as if they were keeping something from us.

Arnav informed, "Uh, I called a friend of mine a few days ago... to help locate them."

Armaan added, "We've let them get away with this for long enough. Before, we didn't know about Anjali, and they didn't know about you. But its obvious it wasn't a one-time thing."

"It'll be tough..." Arnav admitted, his hand on top of mines, "But I'm tired of him hurting my family. If they think we'll let them go free again and sending us these taunting messages, they have something else coming. I won't let them hurt my family again."

They looked as if they were expecting Anjali and I to object... perhaps ask them to let it be. But, we weren't naïve anymore. We could tell right from wrong. We weren't teenagers and neither were we weak. They had evaded their punishment long enough.

Anjali was the first to respond, "You're right."

I too agreed at that, "I'm in too. I don't know if I can face them again... but his note to Anjali di was a threat to Aarav. I said it that night too. We have to protect him."

Somehow, wanting to protect that little child gave me the strength I needed to face my fears head on. Shyam and Vivek had victimized us long enough, but now they were setting their sights on Aarav? No. That is where I drew the line - just as everyone else close to us. No one here would be okay with letting a child get dragged into this.

"Just one thing though." I looked at both the guys before asking, "Don't treat us as delicate and hide whatever progress there is from us because you think keeping it from us will protect us." I wanted to be kept in the loop.

Anjali seconded, "Yes, I agree. We've had secrets between us long enough. They only make us weak."

Riddhima added her worry, "And don't take matter in your hands. You did the right thing by involving authorities, so we let them do things by the book, okay?"

"Okay." Arnav and Armaan agreed to both of our conditions, and I felt assured then.

Riddhima had made a valid point. I didn't want anything happening to the two of them either. I hadn't met Arnav's temper, but I was well aware of Armaan's. When someone he cared about was hurt, he unleashed hell on that person. The only reason he had held off on Shyam and Vivek was because we hadn't come across them again after that night. If he had known where they were, I would have feared what Armaan might have already done.

And Arnav... I had just gotten him back in my life, all of our misunderstandings and secrets out of the way. I wasn't going to lose him anytime soon either.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

I decided to go home with Riddhima so I could spend some time with her. It had been a while, and this weekend seemed to be the time when she was finally free. She didn't have any shifts at the hospital, and after the medical camps and rotations, she was just now getting some free time. There was a lot to share with her, lots of catching up to do. We left Armaan and Arnav for them to have their own night out.

I wish Kripa was here. It would just like college times then. The three of us. But, she'd stayed back with Lavanya and Aarav. Arnav had tried to get Lavanya to join us for dinner, but she wasn't up for going out and neither of us felt right in pushing her. She needed to find her own balance at her own pace. So, Kripa had stayed back to keep Lavanya company.

Entering the room Riddhima and I used to share when we first got to the city, I noticed how neat it looked. The bed looked like it was barely slept in. There weren't things on the table or dresser that would give the impression that the room was lived in. I raised my brows at her, and hiding a blush, she defended herself, "Hey, don't judge, okay? I end up spending a lot of nights in the hospital doing night shifts or studying, and when I am home, I'm with Armaan."

I covered my ears, "Eek, no. I don't want to hear that."

She rolled her eyes, playfully slapping my arm. I laughed, uncovering my ears. "It's not like that, okay?"

"So... you two haven't slept together?" I sat on the bed, and she started to get her clothes from the closet to change into.

"Well, in the same bed, yes. Multiple times. Actually, all the time in 12th." I rolled my eyes at her for being literal when that was definitely not what I was asking. "But, sex, no."

As she changed her top, I pointed out, "Correct me if I am wrong, but the two of you have had feelings for each other since you two first started to understand as kids. So, why the heck not?!"

She sat on the bed across from me, taking a pillow and placing it on her lap, "Yeah, all that is true, but we only accepted it recently. It's been what, barely a month plus a couple weeks since we made it official?" She then frowned, her back leaning to touch the bed frame, "And honestly, it's not that I am not ready. It's your stupid brother who seems to have it set in his brain that if we rush this, he is going to screw it up or something."

At that, even I rolled my eyes. "Okay, I need to tell him that what he had in high-school aren't even worthy of being called flings."

"Be my guest." She then turned the topic, "Anyway, what's the latest with you and Arnav?"

"Well, I told him I loved him."

She scoffed, "Go figure."

"Wait, you know?" I asked, surprised.

She laughed, "My dearest best friend, it was obvious the way you two were tonight at dinner. And hey, you might have been the one too busy to call your best friend and tell her the second it happened, but that doesn't mean Arnav went AWOL on me too."

I glared to no one in particular, letting out my frustration, "He can tell you what I said, but he can't say it back to me?! And wait a minute, I didn't even know you two were friends and talked."

She pulled me to her side, coddling. "Aww, there, there." I grumpily pulled away, not wanting to be babied right now. She was amused at my reaction, but went on to continue, "Give him time. From what I have noticed about him, it takes him a while to express himself. You know, he's more of the actions type than words."

I focused on my breathing, knowing very well that was true. His go-to in any situation was doing things rather than saying what he felt. "I'm scared."

"About?"

This was Riddhima. I didn't feel any awkwardness as I said it out loud. "I've gotten used to holding his hand, or him giving me a quick hug, but... I mean, we haven't kissed, but once it came pretty close and that seriously freaked me out. We did talk and agreed that if he did something that scared me, I'd let him know, but since then I feel as if he has still been careful around me. And you know, I don't want that. I love him and I don't want to freak out every time he is near. I want us to be normal, but I guess I don't even know what normal is."

She listened silently as I was talking, giving me the space to formulate my thoughts and express it. When I trailed off, she offered her advice, "Khushi, you were never given a chance to experience anything normal, so don't worry about trying to be that, and I think Arnav realizes that. If he's giving you space, then I don't think it means that he is treating you as fragile. It's that he probably understands what you're going through, and unless it feels right, he's not going to push you for anything you're not ready for."

"I guess." I mumbled having nothing more to say, but to actually take her advice in consideration.

She squeezed my hand. "And the majority of what you need to work on is not overthinking." I feel as if this was something Arnav had said as well, "It's not hard to tell that you do that a lot, and while worrying is okay, it should be only till it is healthy. If you worry about freaking out all the time, you won't be in the moment and actually experience any feelings you'll feel when he is around."

"How can I not?" I felt helpless. "For years, that's all I've done – always careful to not let anyone get too close to where I stand. Anytime anyone has, or even looked at me with lust, I've flashed back to that night. In that moment, I don't see the person in front of me, but them. It happened once with Arnav in Goa. I don't ever want that to happen again... not when we're so close now."

"That's a risk you'll have to take." She cooed, "You two already agreed that when it gets too much for you to handle, you'll let him know. Look at it this way: didn't it take you a while before you were comfortable holding his hand? It's the same concept. It'll take time, but you have to start somewhere. It might be awkward as hell at first when you're trying to navigate this phase, but you just have to work through it and figure it out together."

Her words did make sense. It's what I had told Arnav before I knew everything and he had pointed out how I still go numb whenever he gets too close. I had told him he had to give me a chance to get used to it, but I seemed to have forgotten that myself. The second we had gotten too close to kissing, I had forgotten my own words.

"Thanks, Ridzzi."

"Oye, don't be formal." She scolded and I smiled, knowing what she meant. What were friends for?

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .