Posted on June 13th, 2017 | Edited on November 12th, 2018

| . . . C H A P T E R - 2.17.1 : P E R F E C T - F A M I L Y . . . |

Arnav walked around the car to come stand next to me again. I leaned back and looked ahead. The tall trees. Autumn was here, and the color was fading from the leaves as they would cross the stages till they will cripple away at the mark of winter. It was late August, but the process was already starting.

He was right. Living in Shimla, I used to love nature. I loved being surrounded by the mountainous region. I loved its unpredictable weather. Also, it had been a while since I had been to any zoos or camping.

The weekend could be a bucket load of fun if I could just let myself have fun.

Breaking the silence, he asked, "If you don't mind, can I try something?"

I was confused, but nodded nevertheless. "Okay?"

"Close your eyes."

"No." I firmly denied.

He bobbed his head to the side, hinting at how quickly I was shutting him out, "Please? Trust me."

I sighed. I did trust him. I let my eyes close. I heard him take a step closer through the crunching of pebbles underneath his feet. I was about to step back when I felt my hand being held by his large one. "Does this scare you?"

I found it in me to shake my head. I replied honestly. "Not anymore... It used to before."

His other hand traveled down my other arm. A shiver passed through the back of my spine. I gasped a breath in, not even trying to be discreet about it. When his hand found mines, I held on to it tightly, just as I shut my eyes tight while before they were only closed, carefree. I didn't need to say it then. He figured out that I was scared by that. He'd held my hand before, but never had his touch trailed down my arm all the way to my hand. It left a lingering burn.

"It's okay." He spoke soothing words as he squeezed my hand back.

I timidly nodded, trying to relax. For a few seconds, we just stood there in silence. Well, the birds chirped around us and the crashing of the waves at the shoreline could be heard in the distance; the wind picked up a little around us, but the two of us were silent. Arnav didn't try anything else but I could feel his eyes on me, holding both my hands in his. My facial expression had changed from concerned to worried, then from scared to eventually, calm.

His finger rubbed the ring on my finger. Our engagement ring. His fingers intertwined with mines and started playing around with it, the way they had been when he was consoling me the night Armaan and I fought.

I found my eyes opening and glancing down at our hands. It no longer felt alien to me. I was starting to get used to the touch of my hands in his. That itself felt to be a huge accomplishment to me. Before, a slight brush would have me at the brink of panic. And yet, here I was, standing less than a foot of a distance from him with my heart beating at its normal pace.

"What?" He asked, noticing me staring at our hands in astonishments.

I looked up with a glimmer of new hope in my eyes. "Nothing, it's just... it's good to not freak out."

His face reflected my smile, "I'm sure." His right hand left mine to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear. I gulped harshly at the unforeseen gesture. It felt intimate as we looked into each other's eyes. There was softness around the corner of his eyes as he gazed into mines with a certain delicacy. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, but I wish I could.

I recalled what he had once said. The only way for me to stop freaking out was to let someone in my heart.

"It's the matter of the heart. The only way you grow comfortable is letting someone in. I can't teach you to love someone else to allow them close to you."

Love someone else...

He pulled back his hand, his eyes following down to my throat. Or, he could have felt my hand go cold and stiff as I finally admitted my feelings to myself. He was right. It is a matter of the heart.

"I wouldn't hurt you."

I nodded, grimly. "I know." My voice came out hoarse, and it let me know how dry my throat felt.

He pressed his lips together, but I could tell the smile was forced. Perhaps, he didn't understand why his touch scared me even when I knew he wouldn't hurt me. Before I could explain, his hand left mines. He nodded behind me, "They're here."

I know I was cribbing for them to get here already, but right now, I would have preferred it if they came a minute or two later. I wanted to tell him that this was just my body's natural way to react. I couldn't control it. Anytime he breached a new personal space, my body automatically reverted to stage 1. It had taken me multiple tries before I had been comfortable to let him hold my hand.

He started to walk past me. I took a second or two to compose my expression before I turned to face them. Arnav had bent to pick up Aarav and turned a few times, twirling him in the air. Aarav squealed with laughter, clutching to Arnav tight. There was a whole different look on Arnav's face. I had only seen it once before, with Angel. Remembering the adorable girl put a smile on my face as well.

No wonder Arnav is good with children.

I took steps towards them, and nodded at Lavanya to acknowledge her presence. She nodded back.

Aarav pulled back and asked, "Who is this?"

Arnav looked at me and introduced, "That's Khushi."

"Oh." Aarav then grinned naughtily and leaked a secret, "Dad, she prettier than in the photo."

I questioned, surprised he had one. "What photo?"

Arnav slapped his palm over Aarav's mouth and let out an embarrassed chuckle, "What photo? There's no photo."

Lavanya slapped his shoulder, "Don't teach your son to lie, Arnav."

"Maybe you should be teaching him to not speak rubbish." He muttered, pulling his hand away from Aarav's face. He put Aarav on the ground when he started to insist. Lavanya shook her head, amused, before giving Arnav a hug in greeting.

I looked down when I felt a tug at my shirt. I squatted on my toes to meet Aarav's height. He forwarded his hand, "Hi, I'm Aarav Singh Raizada."

I raised my eyes at the formality in his stance and tone. I glanced at Arnav and scolded, "Did you teach him this? He's a kid, Arnav!"

"What?!" Arnav attempted to defend himself, "I didn't! It's not my fault he's a quick learner. I took him to office once and he saw me meeting some clients."

Aarav cleared his throat, showing his impatience and offense that I had yet to respond to his greeting. Very much amused, I slid my hand in his tiny one, "Hi Aarav, I'm Khushi. It's nice to meet you."

He pulled back roughly and then started wiping his hands on his jeans, "Yeah, okay." He turned to his parents, "Can we go see the birdies now?"

The two of them nodded in an answer. He trotted over to them and grabbed both of their index finger, wrapping it tight in his fist. He started pulling them towards the entrance. Lavanya instructed, "Aaru, slow down. I swear, you don't have your dad's patience at all."

Aarav suddenly stopped, dropped their hands and crossed them over his chest, showing anger. "I am. Just. Like. Dad!" He raised his voice, portraying Arnav's anger to the T.

I found myself hiding a laughter, least the little ASR direct his anger towards me. I watched as Arnav and Lavanya attempted to appease him for the next five minutes. He let his anger go only when Arnav promised he would take Aarav to school and pick him up all of next week.

The rest of the day passed by with such antics. Aarav stayed mostly with Lavanya and Arnav, but I didn't mind. I was happy to be around and have met him. He seemed like a great kid. He was definitely a quick learner. Both Lavanya and Arnav had been telling him names of animals, and some he recognized even before they had to tell him.

I was starting to see how this was a perfect plan. I may not have gotten one-on-one with Aarav, but I wasn't sure I could handle that anyway. It was great that the two of them were here as well. It also allowed me to see a whole different side of Lavanya – one filled with maternal instinct. Arnav was right. Given a chance, Lavanya could prove to be a complete different person. It was obvious how kind she was the way she looked after Aarav the whole time. Not once did she complain or get flustered by his grand demands.

She knew how to handle him. Not only was she a successful designer, she was also a great mother.

While walking towards the shoreline around sunset, I swiped through the photos I had taken on my phone of the day. There were tons of the animals and birds, some with Aarav standing by the cages, others with Aarav and Arnav, and a few with all three of them. I decided they should have a family one and so had insisted them to get together so I could take one for them.

Family.

I zoomed in of one with all three of them. I may have only observed them for a few hours, but they were the perfect family. Arnav and Lavanya loved Aarav more than anything. Arnav seemed to be enjoying every single moment with him, but he had also managed to involve me in conversations now and then. I didn't feel like an outsider between the three of them, until I stood back and looked at this particular snap.

If only Arnav could have loved Lavanya, Aarav could have had the perfect family.

I looked sideways when I heard her comment over my shoulder, "That's a good pic." I smiled and moved the phone in Lavanya's direction so she could take a better look. "So, what's on your mind?"

"Why didn't you two get married?"

She took the liberty to send that picture to a number. I assume it was her number. "And bind ourselves in a loveless marriage our whole lives?"

I pointed out, "He's doing that with me."

She glanced up and returned my phone. She seemed surprised that I thought that, and asked a simple yet complicated question, "Is he?"

Before I could ask her what she meant by that, she looked ahead where Arnav was sitting by the shoreline while Aarav was using his sand tools to dig in and fill his bucket with sand so he could create something. She nodded towards Arnav, "Does that mean something to you?"

I followed her gaze to where he had his hand beside him on the sand. From this distance, I couldn't tell if it was like that beach in Goa where his hand was atop an imprint or not, but it looked like it.

At my silence, she continued. "Anytime we've been near a beach in the past few years, he goes into this universe. I can't explain it, but his hand... it's always digging in like he's trying to hold on to something really tightly, stop hurting on the inside."

Her words repeated in my mind, mixing with his very first promises the night I told him it was multiple people. The things he asked me to imagine to comfort me. Promises of always holding on to me, always being by my side... at each turn, I find myself learning that he never did break his promises. He always kept me there since. I just didn't see it.

How could I have not?

She breathed out as if her own heart was heavy on seeing her friend being distant anytime he was at a beach, "Anyway, I'm probably overthinking it. C'mon." She started walking away towards the beach and reaching Aarav, said something to him.

I assumed it was her asking if he wanted to get in the water since he was up on his feet within a blink and holding Lavanya's hand where both walked in the water. Aarav started splashing his feet in and seconds later, Arnav followed them to keep Aarav from going too deep in the water. He wouldn't let him go any further than dipping his feet in till his knees.

I faintly remembered once Arnav had mentioned there were five people in the world he would do anything for. I was starting to fill in some of the blanks.

Other than Anjali and Kripa, the third and fourth people on the list had to be Aarav and Lavanya. That only left one person I didn't know about. Lavanya's question made me wonder. Was it me? The other day in front of his uncle, he called me his family.

I remembered that conversation about reincarnation. Arnav telling me it wouldn't be perfect without me in it. Why hadn't I focused on his words earlier? He kept telling me I was important to him.

I didn't get much time to speculate as he waved me over. Shaking my thoughts, I tucked my phone in the back pockets of my knee-length shorts and walked over to them.

Aarav started splashing water within a few minutes, and eventually, it was war.

By the end of it, none of the four of us was spared. We were all wet from top to bottom. It was a good thing that we were going to be camping, and thus had a spare of clothes.

For the moment though, while Lavanya dried Aarav's hair, I laid back in the sand and relaxed. I couldn't recall the last time I had such a nice time away from Armaan and Riddhima. The times I had been with Arnav, were all nice. But this? This beat that without a doubt.

Aarav was certainly a light in Arnav's life, and I could see why. The kid lit up everything. Anyone could have the time of their life around him. He was filled with so much positivity, it sometimes reminded me of Anjali. And it should too, I suppose. Arnav had mentioned how Anjali often took care of Aarav before they had enrolled him in school.

I briefly recalled my own situation. For the first time, I was wondering how my child would have turned out if I hadn't gotten an abortion. Woah. Khushi. I couldn't believe I had thought that. Never before had I felt the need to. I could usually put the thought away. The most I thought about it was around the days that marked the anniversary of when I got an abortion.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

| . . . C H A P T E R - 2.17.2 : I N N O C E N T - A C T I O N S . . . |

"Penny for your thoughts?"

I opened my eyes at Arnav's voice. I teased, "Don't be a miser, Arnav. You could afford to spend a lot more than a penny for my thoughts."

He too laughs, as I remember once before when I had told him the same thing. He sat beside me, "So, what's up?"

"Aarav..." I said looking at him and Lavanya in the distance, "He's a great kid."

"Yeah." Arnav smiled back following my gaze.

I returned to looking at him, "Why didn't you ever tell me about him?"

He looked ahead at the waves in the distance, "I was never good at sharing, sweet pea. You know that."

"And you and Lavanya? I'm pretty sure you once told me you two were just friends."

"We are." I raised a brow for even he had to see the contradiction. Staring at his feet, he continued. "It... was a drunken night."

I found myself shaking my head. "Arnav, I hope you know that I know that was a lie." I called him out on it. He looked at me, having difficulty answering. I added to assure him, "But, it's okay. You can tell me whenever you think I have earned your trust."

He countered, "It's not that, Khushi. I do trust you. It's just... complicated."

"With us, what isn't?" I tried to not sound sour for otherwise, it had been a great weekend. I change the topic slightly, "Anyway, do you have any pictures of him from when we were in college?"

He nodded, leaning on one side to get his phone out of his back pocket and swiped open his phone. Opening the pictures app, he scrolled through some before passing the phone over to me.

I inhaled sharply seeing it, my doubts cleared. I kept getting this familiar feeling and now I knew why. He questioned, "What?"

Continuing to look at the image of a grinning Aarav in Arnav's arms, I informed. "I kept getting a feeling that I'd seen him before. This one time, I went to the temple in Australia and I saw him and di there. I don't know how I didn't connect it before. Aarav looks a little different now but not di... I guess I had focused on Aarav more that time and I didn't remember her."

"You remembered someone you briefly saw years ago?"

His confusion and surprise was understandable. Who even remembers that, right? After I returned the phone to him, I answered. "Only reason I remember is because back then, he made me believe in humanity again. I can't explain it... just what he had done that day. A little kid's innocent actions, you know? They touch your heart."

He nodded, having nothing to say.

I felt the need to keep talking and I chuckled lightly, "Funny, huh? I was mad at you then but your own son, he made me feel better. Talk about coincidences."

"Yeah."

I noticed a pinch of distance in his tone. Without a second thought, I placed my hand over his. "Hey, when I talk about our past, you don't need to get that guilty look on your face all the time. I just talk about it because we have history and I just mean to share... it's not to remind you of both our mistakes."

"Both? Khushi, you didn't do anything wrong."

I shook my head, countering taking my hand off his and pulling my legs up to chest, "I did, Arnav. I could have chosen to remain friends with you. I could have chosen to not be so self-involved and be there for you when you were going through a rough time. It wasn't right that you kept being there for me... for that to be a one-way street. You pushing me away... you might see that as being a coward but I say it was a cry for help and I didn't see it. I didn't want to see it, anything past myself. That was my mistake. So, yeah... we've both done things we wished we had done differently. What's the point in continuing to regret though, right? We're learning from it and doing better. So just, know that you can talk about our college time freely without it sounding as a taunt or anything else."

He smiled, "Sometimes you talk like Lavanya, you know that?"

I chuckled back, "Really? Lavanya?"

"Yeah, swear. Talking about being better and all. She's usually the one being my voice of reason."

I smiled back genuinely, understanding that. "Yeah, Angad usually does that for me."

"I would've thought it'd be Riddhima or Armaan."

I shook my head, "God, no. The only thing the two of them see is supporting me through everything. They are each other's voice of reason, but not mine. But Angad," I added just because, "I miss him. I know its only been a month since I last saw him but still. That boy makes me worry about him."

"Worry about him? He's old enough."

I shrug my shoulder, "Eh. He's the only one I've had to worry about. Ever."

"Why?"

"Oh, so many things." I vaguely answered. "Sorry, he wouldn't like me telling things about him. He's a lot like you in that manner, huh?"

He chuckled back as if understanding the importance of being a private person and didn't take offense that I didn't share. "To the right person, he'll open up."

I question his confidence, "How can you be so sure?"

"Because I did." He answered gazing straight in my eyes. I hope he's right. But wait... did he just call me his right person? As if noticing I was lost at words, he stood up. "Come on, time to head back home."

I slipped my hand into his that he had offered, and pull myself up on my feet. Either he pulled too strongly, or I was too light-weighted. I ended up stumbling close to him at his pull. I backed up just before my hand would have been on his chest to stop us from bumping into each other.

"You okay?" He questioned.

I rushed into a nod and tugged my hand out of his hold. The weekend had been beyond real. It was a lot more than I would have ever imagined. It was a nice bundle of memories I was taking back, all thanks to Arnav. And Aarav ofcourse. Can't forget him. He made a bigger part of the weekend carefree for me.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

| . . . A U T H O R - N O T E . . . |

So, kept the Aarav-Khushi meeting but added a few things here and there with Lavanya and Arnav. Thoughts? I felt it was important for Khushi to tell Arnav that it is okay to talk about their past without feeling guilty and sad over how they handled everything -- the only way you can get everything off your chest and share thoughts/feelings and move on, right?

Copying a comment from old version which I think summarrizes Khushi to the T by penbegungor1:

Arnav has been bugging and daring Khusi since day 1. He figured out quite early that she doesn't play along unless her ego is threatend. But she only has this reaction to Arnav and he knows it. But thats the point in trying to help people. You have to hit their soft point, without to much compassion. Or else hey will never heal and pity themself all their life.Poor Khusi, she thinks that she is an obstakel for their perfect life. She always assumes that she knows what Arnav wants. He choose to stick with Khusi. I think little Aarav will give Khusi a lot of information that Arnav doesn't want her to know 😉😉.This update made me feel goood.