Posted on Dec 6, 2016 | Edited on April 9th, 2018

| . . . C H A P T E R . . . 1.9.1 - H I S - S H E L T E R . . . |

It was around three hours later when I looked in the side mirror. Jasper's car wasn't behind us. In fact, there were no cars behind us. "Did they get lost?"

"No."

"I don't see them."

He casually informed, "They just took a different route."

Now, things started getting clearer. He made sure the two of us would be alone in the car. "We aren't going to the same place as them, are we?"

When he didn't answer right away, I started to feel anxious. I sat up properly, my instincts on high alert. As if sensing it, he said. "Relax. We are. We are just taking a pit stop somewhere first. I told you, I wanted to show you something."

Right. I inhaled and worked on calming myself. "Do they know?"

"Kripa knows."

That made me feel better. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see." I hate him for being mysterious always.

"Atleast tell me how far we are?" I asked hoping to have some information atleast.

Thank my lucky stars. One answer he did give, "Half hour."

That I could work with. I rested my head against the door and closed my eyes till then, listening to music and the hum of the car, the zipping wind, the cool air from the air vent aimed at my face.

I couldn't help but smile. Though it was artificial cold, it reminded me of Shimla. I had come to hate this hot weather of Australia. It always made me uneasy especially with the clothes I wore.

I blinked open when he parked in front of a house in a remote location. The city must have been at some distance for there didn't seem to be many things around. It was surrounded by tall trees and a large clearing towards the back. There were some hills in the background but I imagine that would be somewhat of a trek.

I read the board after getting out of the car. "An orphanage?"

He walked around to stand beside me and glanced up at the board himself. Loving Smiles Orphanage. What sort of a name was it? "In a way. It's a shelter for those who have been... abused."

"Oh." The word escaped my lips without a second thought. This was the last place I expected him to bring me. Then again... I had no idea what I was expecting. Nothing he does is what I expect. Or maybe, I don't hold high expectations for him and so, when he does something like this, it takes me by surprise.

Is this why he knows how to help me? Or wants to help me?

"Yeah," he murmured as if hiding some emotion before nodding towards the door. As we approached the porch, the lights were turned on and before he could knock, a lady in her mid-40s opened the door.

She greeted him with a warm hug, "Ah, Arnav. I was wondering when you were going to be here. You're never this late." After they parted, she didn't wait for an answer as she noticed me. "And who is this? A friend?"

"Uh, yes." He answered and even it felt weird to me... the two of us - friends. That's something for the day. "Martha, meet Khushi. Khushi, Martha. She..."

I interjected, "Owns this place?"

Martha let out an amused laughed, "Oh dear, no. I only look after the place and the girls here. Arnav here is the owner."

Say what now? My eyes widened at the piece of information. Forget friends. This is the biggest news for the day. He was too young to be owning anything. How old is he? 20? 21? Yeah, too young.

At my reaction, Arnav seemed to be scratching the back of his head looking uncomfortable while Martha continued to grin. "I take it you are not aware of just who your friend is, hmm?"

I politely shook my head. I thought I did. Turns out, I may not know him at all.

She ushered us inside, "Come on in."

As we walked in, I whispered to Arnav. "Anything else I should know about you?"

He sheepishly answered, "A lot." I waited for the follow up words but he didn't offer them. Ofcourse. "You'll find out eventually I'm sure."

He walked ahead leaving me surprised. Did he think we actually would be friends eventually? That I would get to know him?

As I followed into the living area, a little girl ran up to Arnav. "Arnie!"

While there was glow of happiness and a grin on her face as she wrapped her tiny arms around him, my heart broke. She couldn't be more than 4. Such a small child should not be in a place like this. And yet... I knew it was the harsh reality. It's the reason I had grown to hate the world... to stop finding anything to look forward to... the added reason for my depression.

Arnav talked to her with such fondness. I don't think I would have ever imagined a side of him as this if I wasn't witnessing it with my own set of eyes. "How's my little Angel doing, hmm?"

"Missing you," she replied wrapping her hands around his neck while he stood up carrying her.

"Aww, well I'm here now."

Did he just aww?

She frowned, "Late," as if suddenly remembering that and pulled away. He had to put her back on the ground and she crossed her arms over her chest showing her anger.

Though at the side the strings of my heart were tugged knowing something bad had happened to this little girl, there was a soft smile on my lips. Regardless of it, there was a sense of love and comfort this girl must feel here. She had certainly forged a bond with Arnav. She had some sense of normalcy in this strange world she lived in.

He kneeled on the floor to meet her height and held his ears to apologize, "I'm sorry?"

In front of me wasn't this persona Arnav held when in college. The popular guy girls fawned over and a guy who deemed himself better than other and could care less about what was happening around him. In front of me was just a normal guy met with the difficulties of the world trying to appease a small child looking uber cute.

If he had apologized to me looking like he did, I fear I would have melted there itself. She, however, did not.

He went on to pull out a bar of three musketeers from his pocket and held it in front of her. She eyed it trying not to leap for it. It was obvious she loved them the way her eyes were starting to twinkle and this façade of being mad fading away.

Eventually, she gave in. Alas, even here, one thing remained the same. A victorious Arnav who always had his way. She pointed a finger at him to warn, "But this doesn't mean I forgive you."

He nodded as if believing her in all seriousness, "Not at all."

She then noticed my presence and stepped closer to him as if suddenly intimidated. By me? I was somewhere taken aback on realizing I am not the only who gets scared. Others can have the same reaction to me. "Who is your friend?"

That's when Arnav seemed to remember he hadn't come here alone. He looked up at me and picking her up in his arms, stood up. This time, she didn't fight him to be put on the ground again. "Oh. This is Khushi." He introduced, "And this is my Angel."

"That's a pretty name," I softly spoke trying to get her to ease up. I meant her no harm, after all.

She nodded timidly, "Yes, but you can't call me that. Only Arnie can."

She was possessive of the endearing name given by him. "Okay, what does everyone else call you then?"

"Annie."

"Can I call you that?" I made her feel she had an important say in it.

She seemed to think for a second before letting out a nod.

I smiled at her. She was indeed very cute. "Nice to meet you then, Annie."

She turned back to Arnav and he distracted her, "Angel, why don't you go shower and get ready for bed, hmm? I'll have my dinner and come find you. How does that sound?"

She added, "And you'll read me a bedtime story?" When he answered with a nod, she grinned and excitedly jumped out of his arms. "Okay! Eat fast." With that, she trotted up the stairs to wherever her room was.

Exhaling and standing up again, he asked. "Hungry?"

"Starving." My normal bedtime was 9:30. I had my dinner around 7, whatever little I could manage to have an appetite to eat. Today, it was already past 9 and I hadn't had dinner yet.

"Let's go. I'm sure we can find something in the kitchen."

Before we could enter though, Martha stopped us. "Oh no, don't go in there. You'll ruin their surprise."

"Surprise?" He grumbled, "Not again."

Martha smiled as she turned us about, "Oh yes. You know they love to. Go sit at the dining table. I'll bring you two dinner there."

Arnav sighed but listened. Wow. I didn't think he ever listened to anyone. I followed to the dining table. "Surprise?"

He answered as we sat, "Every time I come, they have done something or other for me."

"That's sweet of them."

"Yes... if only I liked surprises."

I felt the need to make him understand, "They only want to show how much they care for you."

Though, now that I think about it, I think he does understand for even though he claimed to hate surprises, he didn't stop them from giving him one.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

| . . . C H A P T E R . . . 1.9.2 - E A R N I N G - R E S P E C T . . . |

We were waiting for dinner but minutes later, a girl walked out of the kitchen and given his back was facing her, he didn't see when she walked behind him and covered his eyes. Following were a bunch of girls all varying in ages and one of them placed a cake in the middle of the table.

The girl then uncovered Arnav's eyes and he eyed the cake, "What's this?"

She rolled her eyes, "Anyone can see it's a cake, Arnav."

He opened his mouth to argue but another girl looking to be the oldest with red hair and beautiful green eyes beat him to it, "And don't even say what we all know you are going to. We spent a lot of effort in making it."

The one who had placed the cake on the table, brunette, added, "And they forced me to bake. You know how much I hate cooking in general. So, let's just get it over with, okay?"

He turned to her in surprise, "You entered the kitchen."

Her face masked the seriousness as she fought a smile, "I fought my fear. You do this for me now without acting up."

I couldn't help my own smile. Apparently, I was not the only one who gave him orders. How could he claim he didn't let people order him around? Everything I see here tells me otherwise.

He stood up to hug her as one might lovingly embrace their little sister. "Jennifer, I'm so proud of you."

It was written in his eyes even if he hadn't said it. Whatever it was about Jennifer and kitchens, it was important and he proceeded to cut the cake without making a fuss.

She whispered a smile spreading on her face, "Thank you." It seemed his support meant something to her.

I could only imagine... just how free she must be feeling since she did just say she fought her fear. I could vouch for how much effort and energy she must have had to exert in that simple task if it had anything to do with the reason she was at this shelter. As it is said, the water that looks calm from the surface can turn fatal and turn lives the next second when turned into a hurricane.

I stared at the words on the cake after blinking away from everyone around me who were all smiles and laughs, cheering as he cut the cake. Even though some of the worst in life must have happened to them, they were smiling. Happy. They were healing.

It made me realize... I craved that myself.

I could save myself too if I so chose to. I could heal as well. I just had to be willing.

I was fighting it this whole time but here... they had learned to embrace their fears and shortcomings to not let it stop them.

It was the first time in years that my mind didn't flash back to that night on seeing a cake.

The letters HBD were enough indication that it was a birthday cake.

I stared up at him but he wasn't looking at me. His sole attention was on feeding the first bite to Jennifer.

It made me wonder. What was it with him and helping? There had to be a reason for it. A personal reason. He didn't just wake up one day and decide to take interest in opening a shelter and offer a safe place for those who were going through dark times and were abused. He didn't do it just because.

I knew he wouldn't answer if I asked. He wasn't the best when it came to sharing things about himself.

"It's your birthday?"

The red-haired girl gaped, "You're his girlfriend and you don't know?!"

My eyes gave away my shock hearing what she referred to me as. "Excuse me?" They traveled to Arnav's and he was already looking at me. Our eyes locked for the quickest second before he blinked away.

"Psht, Laurel." He shook his head conveying the message.

She looked embarrassed, "Oh? Oh. Sorry! We all just assumed... since you don't ever bring anyone else here with you."

Jennifer tried to add, "Yeah, and..."

Arnav cut her off, "No, girls."

Martha cut through the awkward silence, "Alright, come on, girls. Help me get this cake served."

They went about to get it done. I didn't get a chance to wish him since he got into various conversations with them while we ate and the leftover was later on returned to the kitchen.

He didn't need to say a word to me. Just observing this, the reason he wanted to bring me here was crystal clear.

Before we would leave, he went up to fulfill his promise to Annie. During the time... let's just say I got to learn a lot about the girls, and Arnav. Such as, Jennifer was scared of cooking because of her alcoholic and abusive step-father who, after her mother died, would always abuse her over not giving him proper meals. There had been one too many accidents and broken bones before she'd made the choice to run away.

I also learned Arnav had founded a NGO which was how she had found herself here. A social worker had taken her case and he had found out about it and asked her if she'd stay here till she turned 18 if she didn't want to be put in the foster care system. Certainly, going back home wasn't an option.

Martha offered just when we were leaving, "Come back anytime, dear. Girls loved having a new face to talk to."

I smiled at her kindness. As much as this place brings back blue memories and what it stands for - the twisted reality of some of the human monsters out there - the girls do make up for it. They have the kind of cheerful attitude despite everything that has happened to them that I wish I could mimic. "I'd love to, Martha."

She smiled back turning to Arnav and hugged him before advising, "And you, take things easy kiddo. You are too young to worry about so much. Let someone else take care of you for once."

He joked, "I'm not crippled, Martha," though he did catch her intention.

"Go now, before you other friends worry you two got lost."

With that, we once again waved at everyone and made our way back to the highway. I voiced out, "You keep your own share of secrets, don't you?"

He asked for specifics, "What do you mean?"

"Your birthday."

He gained some clarity and seemed to ease that I was talking about that and not the shelter itself, "Oh that, it's not a secret. If you had asked, I'd have told you."

Well... that's another surprise. I was under the impression he didn't like answering to questions. "Is that why your sister is visiting?"

"Yeah, she visits during my birthday week."

She had flown all the way to Australia from who knows where and he was here? "Then why aren't you spending your birthday with family?"

He looked past his shoulder to check the road before changing lanes and getting on the faster lane. "My birthday was technical yesterday, sweet pea. So, don't you worry. I did spend it with family."

Then it clicked. Yesterday. It's why he invited me to join them for dinner. Now I feel horrible for having been rude. "I'm sorry."

He seemed to understand the reason for why I suddenly apologized and offered a smile. "It's alright. You didn't know. I probably also shouldn't have said the invitation like an order."

My lips pressed together in a smile but it still didn't make me feel better. He had invited me to his birthday dinner - something that was a family only celebration - and I had been rude to him. He had even visited the apartment yesterday but I had ignored him. On top, it slightly made me question what he thinks of me that he deemed me important enough to invite me. He's been a lot kinder to me since Christmas than I would have expected - even when I keep snapping at him and dumping my anger I have for the world on him with no fault of his.

Why do I treat him as such?

I could just give him a second chance. Stop judging him for everything he says or does.

After some time, he broke the silence of the car. "Khushi, I know tonight was probably not what you expected... but I am sorry about the way I behaved earlier in the week. I may be reckless, impulsive and fake ignorance sometimes but I am not so dense. I can't... imagine what you go through, how tough it must be. I wanted you to know I am not taking this lightly... and I don't mean to help you thinking you as a charity case. Far from it. I know I still have to earn your trust and I only hope tonight was a start. Else... whatever you decide, I'll respect your wish."

I swallowed the lump at the base of my throat. He said so much. For with this visit to the shelter, he's certainly given me a lot to think about on what I want to do with my life. Continue living like a victim or be like Jennifer and other girls there - live like a survivor.

Not just that, but he also acknowledged it is tough and I think that is what I was looking for. For him, or just anyone, to stop saying they can imagine how I feel in order to sympathize with me because truth is, they can't. Unless the same has happened to them, they can't imagine. Knowing someone who has been abused or hearing stories does not mean it makes a person capable of imagining someone else's pain. Unless they have lost a huge part of themselves...

I turned away to the window and stealthily try to wipe my lashes and bite the corner of my lip to keep my eyes from getting moist.

He knew I didn't trust him. I knew nothing of him that would make me respect him... trust him. Tonight, he proved beyond himself. He did gain my respect and an ounce of trust, silencing my concerns and my temptation to doubt his intentions every second.

Arnav Singh Raizada may not be who I judged him to be... and I think, I think that is a good thing. But yet, it scares me somewhere still because it means there is more to him than what meets the surface. And, what happens when I get to know that person?

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

| . . . A U T H O R - N O T E . . . |

Phew. While editing this for minor errors just before before posting it, it feels like the air is thick. Like that melancholy feeling after reading this... Heavy chapter? Too emotional?

Either way, I'm happy with the additions. Especially the end where he speaks up unlike the old version & tells her that he knows he has to earn her trust & Khushi's reflection which I felt was rushed through earlier.

I think this chapter is more close to heart as this will be one of the major turning points in their story... Let me know what you think! I shall go listen to my dare playlist and feel this heavy sadness with them beautiful lyrics. Ciao <3