Originally Posted on March 18th, 2017 | Edited on May 10th, 2018.

Just found out @billu2001 has her boards coming up. All the best dear! ~

A R N A V . . .

| . . . C H A P T E R . . .  1. 1 9 . 5 : B E T W E E N - T R U S T - & - S A F E T Y . . . |

"Daddy!"

I walked into the house to see him rushing towards me. Aarav. The one person in this entire world who could automatically put a smile on my face. I bent to lift him up as he reached me and kissed his cheek. "Hey Champ."

"Still mad?"

I shook my head, "Never around you baby." It was understandable why he'd ask that. When he'd gone to bed last night, I was mad - as I had been the last few days.

He broke into a smile and moved about to get me to put him down. I did and he held my index finger to pull me towards the couch and forced me to watch cartoons with him. I didn't mind though. After returning from meeting Khushi, I was in a better mood.

I wasn't sure how to react to her close friendship with Angad but she seemed at ease and happiest I had ever seen her so I chose to focus on that. And, after weeks, I had talked to her. I was only mad at myself that it took for her to text me when she wasn't feeling well for me to go to her.

She wouldn't talk about us... our estranged friendship and I couldn't push her. Not sure I wanted to bring her back in my life with how drastically things had changed in the last few days. If being wrapped up in college rumors broke our friendship, I worried what would happen if she got accidently wrapped up in my family life.

I won't risk that.

Lavanya appeared from the kitchen, "Ah, you're back. He's been asking for you since he woke up."

I informed, "Yeah, I had to go see someone. Make sure they were alright."

She nodded and though she didn't ask, I had a feeling she knew it was that someone I had talked to her about during the holidays. "Lunch is almost ready. Go freshen up?"

"Sure," I shifted Aarav to the couch from my lap and instructed, "Don't trouble mommy too much, okay?"

He nodded playing with his toy truck and Lavanya smiled at me in understanding when I passed her.

I was forever in debt to her, I knew that and I'd never forget that for everything she did for me. I wasn't Aarav's dad and she wasn't his mom. Yet, that is what we told everyone. In reality, he was Anjali's son. I only adopted him as I would rather have people know he is my son than give Anjali a hard time because she had a son out of wedlock. They would never understand this wasn't out of her will either.

She was raped and this was the result. She chose to keep the baby.

No one, not even my uncle, aunt, or Kripa knew about Aarav and Anjali's relationship. We told everyone he was mine. When Anjali found out she was pregnant, I had her shift here to Australia with me, lying to my uncle with the excuse that it was my first year of college and I wanted her here while I settled in. No one other than her doctor ever knew she was pregnant, except for Lavanya when she visited out of the blue and upon finding out, she became the front face. I tried so hard to talk her out of it but she wouldn't listen.

She kept saying everyone would ask who the mother was and forced me into letting her help. She claimed I had looked out for her and always been there for her and it was her turn. Even when her family turned against her and disowned her on finding out she was pregnant as a teenager, she didn't back off. With no fault of hers, she took every single blame on her head and still stood strong. I was being strong for Anjali but at the end of the day when I would break, Lavanya would be there for me.

And now, I had to ensure no harm would come to her because of me. She didn't deserve for her life to be threatened after everything she had sacrificed for us.

My uncle, Kripa's father, deemed it fit to threaten to take Aarav away from me - claim I couldn't take care of him - if I didn't agree to help his friend's sinking business. If he had played it decent and simply asked me to consider investing in his friends' business, I would have considered it. He didn't need to threaten.

As pissed I am at him for using an innocent child as a weapon to get what he wanted, I couldn't risk Lavanya's life, or Anjali. We had all worked hard to keep Aarav in the family so Anjali could be close to him. Even if not my son by blood, he was my nephew and I didn't ever take him to be less than a son. I would sacrifice anything I had to for his sake.

With a heavy heart, I had to come to a decision. I had to stay away from Khushi as well. I had to let her go. With my uncle getting out of control and using the people I care about against me, I wouldn't take another risk. I could never let him know about Khushi. My family - Anjali, Aarav and Lavanya - them I could protect. I'd give him whatever he needed to neutralize his threat.

But Khushi, I could not protect.

She was a different one altogether. No one would understand what we had. I was starting to care for her in a different light than any other. But, I could never let that show. Not even to Khushi herself.

Between breaking her trust and ensuring her safety, I chose her safety.

She would hate me. She might never trust me in life ever again. The consequence would be on me and so, I toughened my heart to do what needed to be.

This had to be the reason why I never allowed myself to care for a girl. I broke my rules unknowingly and now... more than me, she was going to pay for my mistakes.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

"I need your help with something."

Amanda looked up from her book as she was sitting at a picnic table on campus. She greeted with surprise, "Arnav! Hey, haven't seen you in some time. Sit."

Taking a seat, I got straight to the point. "This may sound weird and random but I need you to not ask any questions."

Her eyes knit together with confusion, "Okay?"

I moved slightly closer to her and she eyed my actions before I spoke in as laidback voice as I could manage, "I'm going to kiss you and I need you to not slap me, okay?"

She was stumped at first and I waited for her to come to terms with my sudden request. She then giggled unable to comprehend, "Uh, what?"

I sighed in a rush for I saw Khushi in a distance, "I can't explain but are you okay with it?"

Though still confused, "Okay, I guess," she answered.

"I'm sorry to drag you into this," I apologized nearing her before kissing her.

I pulled back after about five seconds, knowing that would have been enough time for Khushi to see it. Amanda opened her eyes her cheeks starting to turn red. "Wow."

I repeated, my fingers on her chin. "I am sorry."

While she recovered, I stood up to leave. She recovered quicker than expected though and grabbed my wrist. "Whoa, wait. Hold up. Explain."

"I told you, I can't." I expressed, defeated. I already felt horrible for doing this and breaking Khushi's trust, the promise I made her.

She challenged, "Can't or won't?"

She was right to question that. "I needed someone to see that, okay? Now, please, drop this?"

She turned around to see Khushi's back in the distance and she scoffed. "Her again. Seriously? I don't get it."

I offered last piece of information, "Amanda, you shouldn't be so keen on trusting rumors. You know my reputation with girls and she knew you deserved better so she made me promise I'd never hurt you. She was always your friend." Her eyes widened on learning that and I added simply because I felt she needed to know, "Nothing happened with her and after this, I'm sure nothing will either."

"Why?"

"I have my reasons. Just, don't tell her?"

She didn't understand my request but nodded. At least, any ill thoughts she had brewed against Khushi were put to rest. At least, I could do one final thing for Khushi though she would never know of this.

I nodded back at her to express my gratitude and walked away.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

Lavanya questioned the second she saw me enter the foyer, "Why do you look like hell?"

I dropped the façade I had been holding in since I left campus and spent the last twenty minutes driving here. I crossed the distance between us and embraced her tightly. The one person I was always able to turn to at my hour of need.

Beyond concerned, she asked. "Arnav? What did you do?"

"What I had to." I muttered as tears escaped my eyes. If I had seen the look in Khushi's eyes as it had happened, it would have hurt more.

She expressed her disapproval, "Why do you do this to yourself? It helps no one."

I pulled away from her to sit myself on the couch, "It does if it keeps people away from me." I had to push Khushi away before I let myself care for her anymore.

She argued coming to sit next to me, "Wouldn't it help them better if you just tell them the truth?" When I didn't answer, sure that I had done what was necessary, she challenged. "Arnav please, have you thought of how you will live with yourself knowing you've hurt her?"

I glanced sideways in shock.

She rolled her eyes, "Give me some credit, alright? I am your best friend. What your uncle did was personal and wrong, I agree, but it's not hard to tell it got more personal because you're afraid she'd get involved. You know, I can't decide if I should envy her or be grateful."

Envy her?

She continued speaking softly, "I want to envy her because she caught your attention - something no one has ever been able to do. She gets to you in a way you don't let anyone get to you. And grateful, because, without even doing anything or knowing it herself, she manages to bring out this side of my best friend - the one side he works so hard in keeping secluded from the world."

I continued to remain silent for I cannot deny this and lie to Lavanya but neither can I bring myself to admit it.

She sighed at my reluctance and voiced out her thoughts. "Arnav, me and di, all we want is for you to be happy. Stop denying yourself that chance when you have it right in front of you. Not everyone is as lucky as you are. You have the world's best sisters and an adorable little son. Now, you've found her too. Don't throw it all away because you are scared of what your uncle would do if he found out. You know you're capable of taking care of us all and still be with us without having to change who you are, without hiding your true feelings. You don't have to distance yourself and became as ruthless as him to fight him. Be better."

My hand rests atop her knee, "La, I truly am lucky to have a friend like you in my life who cares for me this much but some things are not as easy to do as it is to say them. Sure, maybe I can keep us all safe but not now. In some years, maybe. But for now, it is my choice to not involve anyone in my life's messes. The less people who care, the better for them."

"Better for them or better for you?"

"It's the same." I argued.

She denied, "No. Huge difference. One makes you a coward while the other makes you selfless and right now... I'm not too sure you were being selfless."

I glared at her for calling me a coward.

She scolded, "That does not scare me, Arnav. I'm telling you what is. You are afraid to let yourself care for someone." She paused to rectify, "No, not just care... you know its more and it scares you. That is why you pushed her away and that is something cowards you. So, don't try to make this out to be a selfless act by saying you did what was best for her."

"Lavanya..."

She pulled away from me, "No, Arnav. Months ago, when I told you to fix your mistakes, no way did it mean I was giving you permission to go and make a bigger one. But now that you did act rashly, I hope you'll be ready to face the consequences because it doesn't end here."

Having expressed her disapproval, she walked away leaving me plenty to think about. Was she right?

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

| . . . A U T H O R - N O T E . . . |

This part with Amanda, I tried to actually write it out instead of it being implied like before. Arnav & Khushi will actually be talking about it (eventually). And I'll say it again... I love Lavanya. Repeat after me?

Haha, thanks for all your support you guys <3 Encourages me, really!