Posted: August 14th, 2019

♕Annie ♕

2.42 Thing With Feathers

          Once the car is pulled up in front of the palace steps, Aarav reaches for the door handle. The entire ride, he has been grimly silent. It is close to 9 in the evening and roughly an hour ago, Vikas had received a call from Mohit to inform that Arshiya was missing with Randeep. Vikas then had no choice but to interrupt our date. Then, just ten minutes ago, Vikas got another call to inform that they had returned, but with that also came the news of the riots they had gotten caught up in. So, instead of being relieved, I could sense that Aarav was angrier than before.

His silence spoke for itself.

I reach for Aarav's other hand before he steps out to request, "Don't yell at her, okay?"

"Mhmm," he replies pulling the handle and stepping out before Vikas can get to it. I follow as well, but in concern.

Going by his clipped response, one thing is for sure. He is so going to yell at her. More so, Randeep needs to find a place to hide - shouldn't be so hard given the palace. Surely, he can find a spot.

He storms inside the palace doors and makes the long walk into the living room and I try to keep up with his pace. Jhanvi is sitting on one side of Arshiya on the couch while Ishaan is on the other. Mohit is standing on the side while Aarush forwards a glass of water to her. I watch Aarav as he zones in on Randeep who is dabbing his forehead with an ice pack.

Crossing the distance, he grabs his collar and pulls him up. "Who said you could take her anywhere?"

"Aarav!" Jhanvi and I exclaim. She puts her hand on his wrist since she is right next to him and tries to get him to release Randeep. Reaching him, I put a hand on his shoulder to nudge him back.

Arshiya stands up as well, "Bhai, it's not..."

Aarav's eyes sharply flicker to her causing her to stop midsentence. They seem to be screaming: I will deal with you in a second.

Ishaan takes her hand and nudges her to sit back down. Before Aarav can return to Randeep and say anything else or God forbid, resort to violence, I manage to get in between the two and push him back but he refuses to budge from his spot. "Aarav, stop this."

Randeep tries to defend himself, "Look, man..." but only ends up making him angrier.

"No. You don't get to 'man' me. You don't get to speak at all right now."

Aarush interjects, "Aarav, I know how you feel but calm down. He knows what he did was wrong."

He exclaims back, "Calm down?! Whether he knows what he did, it doesn't change the fact that he put her in harm's way. Anything could have happened to her. She's my sister and you don't know how..."

"Enough!" Randeep raises his voice speaking over him by the end while I quietly shake my head.

Aarav's anger is unreasonable when it comes to his family members. Everyone present in the room is aware of that except for Randeep. And as much as I understand Aarav's concern and protective nature over Arshiya and the reasons behind it, I would still say that he might have crossed a line by implying Aarush and Randeep did not understand a brother's worry over his sister. They had both lost theirs and consumed by his anger, he had lost sight of that.

Randeep tightly warns, "I don't care who you are. Your sister is in one piece - which is more than I can say for our sister - so, you do not get to walk into our home all high and mighty. You got that?"

Maybe it is the shock that someone in a long time raised their voice at him for the first time or maybe it is the words that Randeep speaks, but that momentary speechlessness allows Aarav to realize the harsh bite of his own words. I can see the transformation from anger to guilt in his facial expressions, but he is too proud in the moment to admit it.

He directs to Mohit while keeping his eyes on Arshiya, "Get a doctor and then call the chopper."

Arshiya understands it means that she is to go back home. She tries to argue, "No, bhai, that's not fair!"

He narrows his eyes at her, "Does it look like I give a damn about what's fair? I asked you to stay out of trouble for one night and you couldn't even do that. So, if you won't listen to me, then I'll let dad deal with you."

Her eyes widen knowing that letting Arnav have his way would mean she wouldn't get to go anywhere out of the Raizada mansion except for school and back - no stops in between - that is if Arnav didn't resort back to homeschooling her. Normally, even when she'll pull reckless things, Aarav would buffer for her. But now, with everything else he feels the pressure of on his shoulders, I suppose he does not want to have to worry about Arshiya. He may be doing this for her by sending her there where she'll be safe and around people who can keep an eye on her, but I doubt that will change how Arshiya will feel about it. Arshiya will not see it the way he does.

She stands up and surprisingly, nods. "Okay."

Wait... did she just...? No screaming. No arguments. No emotional blackmail. No rebellion. Just a simple 'okay'?

There is nothing more to keep him angry given she isn't playing her game this time. With an exhale, he finally steps up to lovingly wrap his arms around her, securing her in his arms. I would say holding her closely is more to assure himself that she is alright rather than to comfort her over how rocky her night must have been.

Her voice comes muffled as her face is hidden in his chest, "I'm fine, bro."

He rolls his eyes and I am sure it's an attempt to keep them from welling up. "I'll believe it when the doctor tells me."

They stay like that while we are all quiet. Randeep eventually sits back down and holds the ice pack to his head. Inhaling deeply, Aarav pulls back from the hug. Arshiya apologizes with her gaze lowered, "I am sorry. I always give you reasons to worry, don't I?"

He smiles down at her, cupping her face to make her look up at him, "Silly, that's my job. Even when you don't do anything, I'll worry."

She smiles back for a second before hugging him again. He presses his lips to the top of her head in a chase kiss. I exhale to myself. It's a wonder how the two always manage to patch up. He can barely manage to be angry with her for a passing moment.

The peaceful moment is disturbed by a female voice entering from behind us, "Bad timing?"

Aarav and I turn towards the person since our backs faced her while the others look up simply. I have never met her personally, but I do recall her as being Jhanvi's Aunt who looked after her in Australia. Mohini Raichand.

Jhanvi questions in surprise, "Bua ji, what are you doing here? I thought you were back in Australia."

"I was," Mohini replies. "Then I heard Narayan was back, so I thought it best to return as well. We have some old scores to settle, after all."

My back stiffens hearing that. More trouble, now? Don't we have enough?

A similar expression must be mirroring in everyone else's face since she laughs. "Oh, relax. I am not here to add anything to your plates. I only want to see to it that he pays for his crimes and that Dinesh and Kaveri get justice."

Aarush offers his hospitality, "You are welcome to stay here at the palace as long as you wish."

She graciously accepts, "Thank you, Rawal sa."

Jhanvi asks, "You knew who he was when we last met, didn't you? That's why you talked?"

Mohini does not decline. She informs with a nod, "Yes. He had said 'does the name Aarush Rawal ring a bell'. That'd be enough to get anyone from these regions talking." Jhanvi nods in response having her confirmation and a second after, Mohini asks, "How are you?"

Jhanvi steps up to her, "Still alive; so, I guess that's something." Mohini quietly chuckles and then is surprised when Jhanvi gives her a quick hug. "Thank you for coming."

She clears her throat as if needing to get used to receiving this affection from the one whom she has wronged, "Um, ofcourse. I do kind of owe you for not getting me thrown into prison."

Jhanvi says as if catching her guilt laced under her attempt at lightening the mood, "You were as much a victim, bua. Everyone deserves a second chance."

I suppose that is the start of a new and improved relationship. Good for Jhanvi. After everything she has seen in her life recently, she too deserves a break. If at the end of this all she gets a motherly figure back in her life, I say that's a win.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

         I am about to retire for the night when I spot Dimitri leaning against the wall behind him. Aarav follows my gaze and I say to him, "I'll be right there."

He nods and slipping my hand out of his, cross the distance to reach Dimitri while Aarav returns to the bedroom. Without wasting a second, Dimitri asks, "How long do you plan on sticking around?"

I thought I wouldn't be hostile and that maybe we could have one civil conversation. But, his question instantly rubs the wrong side of me, "Excuse me? It's my life and my friends. I'll stay however long I want."

With a scoff at my instant aggression, he pushes off the wall to stand taller. "Well, my job is to protect you. Not your friends. And things are about to go very South here. I'd rather you not be around for when that happens."

My gaze narrows, "What are you talking about?"

He continues being cryptic and stingy with his information, "You may not know Rawal sa as well as you think."

Bordering on impatience, I demand. "Dmitri. Enough with the charade. What do you keep trying to imply? Just because he bested you in Australia does not mean you have a free pass to keep picking at him in front of me."

"I have better things to do than hold a petty grudge over him. I am just warning you of what is to come. The guy you know and the guy he turned into overnight when he returned here are not the same, and you'd do well to stay away from here."

His words not only get me curious but concerned as well. "Why? What do you know? And this time, I want a clear answer. No more beating around the bush."

He remains tightlipped for a second, but I do not flicker my gaze away from him. I refuse to leave here without getting an answer from him. As if realizing that, he exhales in defeat and though he fesses up, he still leaves the important details to assumption. "Let's just say, he asked me for a favor. And, no one comes to us for a favor unless they plan on doing something even worse."

Another time, I would scold him for once again not being straight with me. In the moment, however, I find fear gripping around my chest. His later statement reflecting the truth. Why would Aarush go to him for a favor? What is he planning on doing? What would he need mob connections for? As much as I want those answers, a cautious side of me wonders if it'll be better I don't ask those questions. Maybe I am better off not knowing the exact details.

While I am still trying to process this information, working out what to do knowing this, I meekly say to him, "Thank you for telling me."

He may have told me under the guise of wanting me out of the crossfire, but it was still a good gesture of him to tell me. Maybe he also understands that these are my friends and if someone is about to set off on the wrong path, the least he could do is warn me about it. On the contrary, though I appreciate the heads up, it leaves me with a conundrum. What am I to do with this information?

Should I tell Aarav? Jhanvi? Or go talk to Aarush directly? Do we have enough rapport for him to listen to me? To talk to me? Can I even convince him away from whatever it is he is about to get himself into? Or should I be respectful of his privacy?

I turn my back to Dimitri to walk away, but still on spotting Arshiya a few steps away. How long has she been here?

I look back at Dimitri but find him already walking away as if this isn't hiss problem anymore. Some help he is. "Arshiya..." I say with the intention of addressing this, but what do I even say? The look on her face is obvious - she's heard most of that conversation.

She holds her hand out, "Come with me."

I walk the steps to her, taking her hand. "Where?"

"Just come," she says leading the way. I haven't been around the palace so I trust her to know the way.

Still, I ask. "Are we going to speak to Aarush?"

She shakes her head, "No, he won't listen to us." Reaching a door, she knocks and while waiting a response, informs, "Someone who he'll listen to."

A few seconds later, the door opens. Randeep looks between us and comments, "Atleast you knocked this time."

She retorts, "Only because Annie's with me and I wouldn't want her seeing something indecent."

I raise my brow, "Indecent?" What has happened between the two that I need to know?

She replies to me, "We have more important matters to discuss," and pushes past Randeep to enter the room, leaving me to awkwardly look at the guy I barely know.

With an exhale, he stands aside and waves at me to enter, closing the door after him. "What trouble are you dragging me into now?"

"Hey, it's your trouble this time," She has no hesitancies about plopping down on his bed and getting comfortable, pulling a throw pillow on her lap and folding her legs under her.

He mutters, "Make yourself comfortable, why don't you?"

Well, this is Arshiya. She won't hesitate to make herself at home - regardless of whose home that is.

Ignoring his comment, she questions. "This morning when I asked you about Aarush bhai, you said it'll be better not to disturb him."

"Okay?"

"So, you are the only one who knows what happened between yesterday and today that he went to Dimitri asking for a favor."

Randeep questions walking over to the sitting area in the room a few paces away from the bed. "Who is Dimitri?"

Arshiya looks at me as if I can explain it better than her. However, I struggle, "He's my... well, my father is..." Eventually, I exhale. I can't keep running from this. I have to bring myself to say it as it is, "He has ties to Italian mafia."

Randeep straightens up, his eyes widening. "Hold up. The guy that came with you guys today?" I don't have to nod for him to have his confirmation. "There is a member of the mafia in the palace where there is a child?! I want him gone. Now!"

Arshiya questions, "Why are you getting so hyper?"

He goes off on his own tangent, "Why in the world would bhai sa allow him inside? What is wrong with him?"

I speak over him to try and assure him that he isn't a threat to Inaaya, or anyone really. "No, please, calm down. He's not going to hurt anyone. He's just here to protect me."

Never did I think there would be a day this soon when I would be defending that man.

"Protect you? Who the hell are you people that every single of you needs a bodyguard? And even if, he is a member of the mafia! Have you all lost your marbles or what?!"

Arshiya raises her voice, "Yo! Can we stop yelling before I start getting a headache?"

I question in concern, "Headache? But the doctor just said..."

She pushes the pillow aside to stand up, "Oh, for heaven's sake! Can we focus?" She then points at Randeep, "You. Start talking. Why would he go to Dimitri for a favor?"

Randeep is silent for a second as if pushing aside his reactions towards Dimitri to focus on his cousin. It doesn't take long for his eyes to widen, "Oh, fuck. He wouldn't."

"What?" Both of us question his reaction.

Rather than answering, he instructs, "See yourselves out," and walks out of his own room leaving us puzzled. It is a no brainer where he is headed, but the why is still not clear.

Neither of us were ever satisfied with sitting back when there is a mystery to be solved. Rather than retiring to our rooms with the thought that it wasn't our problem anymore and that Randeep had it handled, we rush to catch up with him.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

          Randeep barges into another room at the end of the hallway and Aarush turns to face him, scolding. "Manners, Randeep."

However, that is the last thing on his mind. Staring blankly at him, Randeep crosses the distance between them and accuses, "What the fuck were you thinking?"

Aarush seems more startled at his language and tone of voice than he was with Randeep barging in unannounced. "Language!"

Once again, Randeep could be least bothered. He scolds, "I did not tell you about Charu for you to drop down to their level! Are you forgetting who you are, Rawal sa?"

Aarush looks at me, connects a quick dot that Dimitri must have spoken to me, and returns his attention to Randeep. "You need not trouble yourself with this, Randeep. Go rest. Let your wounds heal."

Is he fucking serious right now?!

"Fine," Randeep grits and I am sure he is angry and hurt as well that his cousin just dismissed him like this. "We'll settle this the same we did all our arguments."

Aarush refuses, "I am not sparing with you over this, Randeep. My decision is not up for debate."

Randeep shakes his head dropping the anger from his tone which is replaced with disappointment. I understand that. Aarush is his older brother. He must have held him to a much higher standard. "You know, bhai sa, if you think you are honoring them by hunting down the one's responsible for killing your unborn child, then you couldn't be more wrong."

Though a silent spectacle thus far, I cannot help the gasp that escapes my throat. This is what Aarush learned since he returned home. He had told me the one he loved had died, but this? He must have not known. That is the rage that has caused him to lose all sense of morality.

Aarush's eyes remain fixated on Randeep as if he is unsure whether to defend his path or not.

Randeep continues, jabbing his finger to Aarush's chest. "That symbol stands for something. It stands for the fact that you are a King, and this is not how King's act. They do not go on a blind rampage looking for revenge. Yes, they hold the power to be all judge, jury, and executioner, but it is when the crime fits the punishment."

Aarush says in a clipped voice, "Eye for an eye, Randeep."

Randeep scoffs taking a step back, "No. Now you are twisting my meaning around to fit your need. I won't tell you what she would not want you to do this, because I think you know that better. So fine, go down this path if you want but know this. I just got you back and I am not losing you again. Try as you might, if you go down this path, so do I. The question here is, is this the future you want for your little brother?"

Aarush steps forward to hold Randeep's face and requests him to not make this difficult for him. "Randeep, please. I need to put an end to this - if it's the last thing I do."

Randeep challenges refusing to accept this, "And being a martyr is the only way to accomplish the task? No, bhai sa. Our ancestors, they created a group where everyone's voice would be heard. Where they would rule together. They had a mission with which they wanted to shape their future generations. And, over the years, some have taken those missions and twisted them to fit their personal vendetta. They have rotten it to the core and it is on us to root out all the weeds. Return it to the stature it once used to stand for. Return it to its former glory. Please don't be blind in your own personal vendettas that you don't look at the bigger picture. You don't pluck out a leaf where another will grow just as easily."

He puts his hand on Aarush's shoulder as he continues to convince him, "You walked away once and it damn well destroyed your life. If you walk away again, it'll destroy you. Please, bhai sa, don't do this to yourself again. We'll get the justice we deserve, bhai sa, but not by sacrificing our principles or honor. Yes, it may be easier to find their leader and put a bullet in his brain, but if that is how it was meant to play out, don't you think I would have already done that? I haven't spent the last 8 years doing nothing to find those murderers."

Aarush's eyes widen, "You know who they are?"

Randeep, regretfully, shakes his head. "No, but it doesn't mean I don't know anything. And why are you forgetting? We have Narayan Raichand. The information he'll give will be valuable."

"He doesn't know anything."

"Come on, bhai sa, did you even properly try to find out what he knows?" Aarush remains silent, giving us the answer. He hadn't. "Look, being a Rawal puts you at a unique place to influence real change in our communities. Rebuild it. Reshape it in a way which would benefit not only our ideologies in life but also be fair to everyone living in our community. The way it is meant to be. You know, someone told me earlier today, this isn't just our fight anymore." His eyes briefly flicker to Arshiya and then to me before resuming. "We may as well be at war right now, and it's won by soldiers. Not just one person. You have friends who would want to help. We'll do this the right way - together. It doesn't have to be this way, bhai sa. You have been doing this all alone for so long that I think you've forgotten how to rely on someone else for a change."

Aarush, knowing that Randeep is speaking every word right, holds on it yet mutter, "I did ask for help."

Walking up, I point out. "You didn't ask the right people for help." He lowers his gaze, knowing he should be ashamed of himself for letting rage and anguish make all the wrong decisions. "I would slap you silly right now, but I think I'll let Eva have the honor when she returns."

Reminded of his best friend over the years, he groans. "Please, God, no. Don't tell her. She'll execute me herself."

Putting the humor aside, I reach forward to hug him. "I'm really sorry," I express, having no other words. Everything that has happened to him has been fucking unfair. I have felt the emptiness inside of me at times growing up, but that has been more for a loss of not knowing what I have lost, not for a loss that is known and once a familiar part of life. I sometimes mourned the fact that I didn't know who my parents were - wished that I knew. But, one can't truly mourn the loss of something one never really had. Aarush, however? He had it all. He bears the full weight of everything exactly as he lost it all.

Randeep says after we part, "I was hoping telling you would give you some sort of a closure. If I knew what you'd plan to do..."

Aarush voices, "I don't think I believe in hope anymore." He then scoffs to himself before adding, "In words of Friedrich Nietzsche, hope in reality is the worst of all evils because it prolongs the torments of a man."

Arshiya speaks up for the first time since we entered the room, "If you are going to quote dead people, then hope is also the thing with feathers that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without the words, and never stops at all. I can go on if you want?"

Aarush smiles, getting the message she wanted to share knowing the meaning behind the poem. Me? I'm surprised and both impressed at her quoting literature. It's true that she reads, but I - like others - might have not given her due credit and assumed she would be reading novels. I suppose she's well-versed in putting on the act of being oblivious when she is in fact intelligent. Most of the times, she simply does not apply herself in the right direction.

Though he shakes his head, Randeep challenges, "Do you actually know the rest of it or are you just saying that to make an impression?"

Accepting the challenge in a blink of an eye, she recites rest of the poem, "And sweetest in the gale is heard; and sore must be the storm that could abash the little bird that kept so many warm. I've heard it in the chilliest land, and on the strangest sea; yet, never, in extremity, it asked a crumb of me. Emily Dickinson."

"Damn," Randeep lets out. "That was..." Arshiya raises a brow as if knowing the next word to come out of his mouth. He looks at Aarush and decides to keep his thoughts to himself.

I comment, "I don't know this girl."

She shrugs her shoulder underplaying herself, "I read books to keep busy in the hospital."

"I figured they were fiction novels."

"That got old fast. Most stories are so predictable," she states and I imagine she'd gone through her share of novels before switching genres and reading literature and historical books.

Randeep says, "Let me guess, your story being the exception?"

She smacks her lips, "Nah. The story of a rich girl who kicked cancer's butt, has the world's best family and friends as sidekicks with no time for romance in her life. It's as basic as it can get."

It manages to make us all laugh despite how tense things were just moments ago.

When it fades and the moment is light, Aarush clears his throat. "Well, I guess this means I need to have a word with Jhanvi."

Oh, Aarush. I shake my head at him. No doubt, he must have said something to ruin their budding relationship while under the obsession of going at this all by himself as if he's an invincible man who can take on everything on his own shoulders. Why do some men have this superiority complex and the impression that they don't need anyone's help?

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .