Posted: September 12th, 2018

♚ Aarush ♚

          The delicious scent of Eva's cooking fills my nostrils the second I walk into her loft. Gosh, I miss home-made food. I never was much of a cook and eating take-outs can get boring very easily.

Closing the door behind me, I announce myself by asking, "What's for dinner?"

She appears out of the kitchen archway with a spatula in her hand. Her brows are raised in clear judgement. "Can you ever knock like a normal person?"

I return her sass with my own, "If you don't like my visits, you should change the place where you hide your spare key."

She narrows her eyes, "How do you even know where I hide it? I've never told you."

I drop myself on the couch with a heavy sigh while pointing out, "You are an open book, Eva. It's not difficult to figure it out."

She mutters while returning to the kitchen, "And here I thought being in army intelligence for few years would teach me how to keep a few secrets."

I repeat my question while taking off my shoes, "What's for dinner?" Yes, I care more about food. I am starving and much rather eat her cooking than risk cooking myself or going out to a restaurant. Naturally, I do a lot of take-out and that can get tiring quickly.

"Your favorite. You see, I had a sixth sense that you'd crash my quiet dinner time once again."

I roll my eyes. She's extra sassy today. "Tone down some of that attitude, will you? I'm actually here today for a reason, not just to gobble down your food."

She sticks her head out again in curiousity, "You learned something new? And get in here if you want to talk. I'm not going to risk burning my food."

I push myself up on my feet and walk into the kitchen. Leaning against the counter, I inform. "Some of my contacts got back to me."

She raises a brow in clarification, "Army contacts?"

I scoff in amusement, "Please. That's too much red tape to cut through." She gives me a disapproving look as I continue, "Not that I couldn't make it happen, but it would just take a bit longer, you know? We don't have that kind of time to waste."

She shakes her head in disappointment, "You're going to get yourself in deep shit one day, Aarush."

Without a care, I answer shrugging my shoulders. "Nothing I can't get out of, E. Now do you want the information or not?"

She sighs while flipping the paratha on the pan. "Let the record show I do not approve of your methods, but because we are desperate here, yes. Spill it."

I grin to myself because I knew she couldn't resist. One of the things I like about her is that she doesn't have an issue with crossing a few grey areas. She understands the necessities time and again. "Our dearest Dinesh was dumb enough to try and make contact with Hiten."

When I say dearest, I say it with utmost despise for that man. There are one too many crimes that I am going to make him pay for one day.

"Seriously? I would have thought he'd be smarter than that."

"If you ask me, he is."

She questions looking at me briefly, "So what are you saying? It's a trap?"

"That, my friend, is exactly what I am saying."

She swats my hand when I try to reach for a piece of potato from the vegetables steaming on another stove. "It's not cooked, Rawal."

She could be a motherly figure sometimes with her scolding, but I didn't mind. With a pretense frown, I drop the piece back in the pan.

She continues, "Then what good is your information? It doesn't help us with anything."

I make a tsk sound to tease her, "Quitting the army seems to have lowered your IQ, Eva."

She throws me a dirty glare, "Want dinner or not?"

Okay, no threats on my dinner. I drop all teasing and answer void of any humor, "It may be a trap but it still tells us what he is trying to do. If he wants us to follow his trails in Australia, then he wants us out of Mumbai. Ergo, there is only one reason he would send us on a wild goose chase."

Finally, a look of understanding crosses her features as she starts to catch on. "He's trying to distract us."

I add, "Think about it. He has the most to lose if this marriage takes place."

After a few seconds of silence that she spends in thinking, she announces. "If that's his plan, then that is exactly what we should do."

"Excuse me?" I question in confusion.

"Yes, seriously. If he thinks we're playing right into his hands, he'll continue with his plan. And that'll give us the chance to get ahead of him. Maybe, he'll drop his guard; even make a mistake and we can arrest him."

Well... I follow her plan all till the end. The part of arresting him? No. That won't be happening. That fate is too simple for him. He has managed to evade all law enforcements for roughly the past 20 years. Without a doubt, he will find a way to escape imprisonment. I will be damned if I let that happen on my watch.

It's as if she can read my mind... see the wheels turning. She crosses her arms over her chest and orders, "Rawal, whatever you are thinking, stop right there. You are not going to get involved in this. It's too dangerous for you."

I raise my voice in sudden irritation. I don't like being told what to do. "I don't fucking care, Eva."

She raises her voice as well, neither of us caring for the swearing, "Well, you fucking should! You can't go on like this with a death wish printed on your forehead."

I clench my teeth to control my temper before I inform in a clipped tone, "This is my life, Eva. You may be a good friend, but you do not get any say in what I do or lack thereof. So, butt off. I will do what needs to be done and you can't convince me otherwise."

She tries to reach to me in a soft tone dropping her edge as well. "Aarush, think of the path you are headed on. Do you think this is what she'll want?"

My eyes harden and they glaze over as I warn, "You do not get to talk about her."

She may be my best friend for years now but she did not know her personally and she sure as hell does not get to use her as a manipulation tactic to get me to change my mind and appeal to my morality. That part of my life was destroyed years back and when you lose your morality... there is no coming back.

She still continues to plead, "Aarush, you live your life like a suicide mission. I don't say anything. But the path you are on? This revenge will tear away at your soul and..."

A laugh escapes my throat. It's hilarious, really. "Soul?" I challenge. "Eva, have you not been paying any attention to my life story? There is no soul inside of me! There is just a pound of flesh living only long enough to bring Dinesh to his end. This is just a mass of skeletons. That's all. There is nothing left."

She shakes her head as her eyes reflect the pain I cannot bring in my voice. "No, Aarush. That is where you are wrong. You are only saying that because you don't want to live. You are still stuck where you were 7 years ago. And I get it, okay? I get it. But this can't be it, Aarush."

I remain silent for I don't have the heart to break the reality to her. Unlike what she thinks, this is it for me. I just need to do what I am here for. Dinesh is the last of my unfinished business. After that, there is nothing more in life for me. Nothing I need to consider.

She says that sometimes she finds me to be dangerous because of this reason and does not know whether to be scared of me or for me. To be honest though, it is because of this reason that I am able to take the risks. Make the hard calls needed to get the job done when another person would not.

After all, there is no risk big enough that is not worth taking for the only thing left in my life that holds an ounce of meaning. No fear of consequences of those risks could hold me back.

She sighs in defeat and questions with a loss of understanding, "You are holding yourself back. Why do you keep hiding in the shadows, hmm? Why are you turning away from your destiny?"

"I don't believe in destiny."

"Really, now?" She challenges, "Is that why every time you tell yourself you won't return to that world, you find yourself knocking at it because of him? You may not want to believe it, Rawal, but it is what is happening. So stop deluding yourself. You can't escape your destiny now any more than you could 7 years ago. Stop fighting it and stop holding on to so much pain and anger inside of you because one day, it'll be so much you won't be able to handle it. It's going to tear away at your soul and turn it rotten and that day, you'll regret it because it'd have been too late then."

I scoff in response, so sure of myself. "That day is never going to come." I am only alive long enough for one reason in life and after that, I won't be having any reason left to regret anything. I don't have time to let things like regret hold me back on following through on the promises I made to myself... to her.

She sighs, shaking her head and throwing her arms up in surrender as if she has nothing more to say to me except let the disappointment and disapproval be implied with her silence.

As much as I am not a fan of being at odds with her because she is the only person I talk to these days, I also won't give up my stubborn nature.

I believe in what I do and I am not going to let anyone challenge that.

I decide to leave but just before, I suggest. "That cousin of yours is getting too curious about me. You might want to stop him from poking around before he gets himself into trouble he can't save himself from."

She mutters keeping her back to me, "About time. I'm surprised he didn't try to find out about you before."

I try to not smile. I try to hold on to my anger but with Eva...? It still slips through my cracks.

Given our fight however, I again turn to walk towards the living room to put on my shoes. Just as I sit on the couch to slide my foot into the shoe, she comments over in a slightly louder voice to be heard across the rooms, "Now don't you dare throw a tantrum and leave without eating dinner. I am not going to be able to eat all of this food by myself."

This... only her. Despite at odds with each other, she stops me and I listen too. Not because I am starving but because of her affection that I can catch even through her disapproval of my choices and disappointment in my overall behavior. She behaves so much like a family member sometimes where you don't have to like or even approve of every single thing they do, but at the end of the day, you are there for them, to care after them... because without a choice few people in our lives, life holds no meaning.

It would be an endless desert.

Sometimes, I think of telling her to not expect such greatness from me. She holds me to such a high standard; one day she is going to get hurt when I eventually do let her down because that is inevitable.

I let everyone else down. Why would she be any different?

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

          The rush of adrenaline is one of the best feeling there can be. The racing heart bringing with it the aware of just how alive a person is. Consciously hearing it, feeling the blood pumping all over your body. That feeling is one I fell in love with since a young age.

How couldn't I?

It was in my blood.

I first felt it when my grandfather handed me my very first sword at the mere age of five years old. Since the first time I have handled my senses, this is what I have known. Sword fights. Sparring. Instead of toys, I played with real toys.

I swing the sword about in air making a slicing sound as I practice. Coming home from boot camp after months, how could this not be the first thing I do? I had missed the feeling of holding a sword. No matter how proficient I would get with different guns out there, none of them could beat this. This was more direct. More personal. More defining of myself.

Ancient, yes. In today's age, guns would be more helpful in combat than swords. Regardless, swords remain my chosen weapon. It is after all a more intimate weapon. Unlike a gun, the power does not lie in your finger at the pull of a trigger. The power lies inside of you. Inside your strength to strike.

I spin around with the sword only for it to clash with another. My childhood best friend. My cousin. He looked just the same. Cocky. Rich. Arrogant.

The look in his eyes is definitely one of challenge.

I ask him to think again calling him by his last name, "Are you sure you want to hurt your ego, Chauhan?"

He scoffs using a bit of force to swing my sword back before pointing the edge of his towards my chest, directly at the sun tattoo which is no less than an identity in itself for me. "I could take you any day, Rawal sa."

My eyes harden at the way he taunts my last name, adding 'sa' in a manner of our Rajasthani dialect. I bring my elbow back to hold up my sword and take the stance in an attacking position. "Just for that..." I say simply.

I know I do not need to finish my statement for him to understand my intention. I do not like anyone calling me that. If it were in my hands to change age-old customs, I'll declare it a crime.

Just as I raise my sword to swing at him, a third voice interrupts in an authoritative voice, daring us. "Don't even think about it."

Staying in the position, I flicker my gaze over to my younger sister, Barkha, before fixing it on Randeep. "You know this, Barkha. I don't back down from a challenge once I've accepted it. He needs to learn."

She rolls her eyes as she walks over. The only sound coming from her anklets as they chime along with her movements. "You can be an Alpha male another time, bhai sa. And it's not a crime. Calling you anything else - that would be a crime."

I cannot argue with her on this because no matter my thoughts, I cannot change the facts. So, I ask instead. "What do you need?"

Without any fear, she boldly steps in between two males with sharp swords in their hands pointed at each other's necks. Placing her hands on her hips in a scolding manner, she uses her condescending tone. "Really, now? What do I need? Let's see. You come home for one day after all of us first beg you for it so we could go through with this ceremony and instead of spending time with any of us or even getting ready, you're here with your weapons. For one day, can you please be normal?"

Randeep laughs dropping his arm around her as he comes to stand beside her, "Chutki, don't you know your bhai sa? This is normal for him."

She glances sideway at him, "Are you on my side or his?"

He opens his mouth to answer but her glance causes him to think again and make the smart decision to keep it shut. If he'd say he was taking her side, she'd call him off by saying she could take care of herself. And saying he was on my side was not an option as then too he'd have to hear it from her.

She crosses her arms over her chest and turns her attention to me again. "Everyone will be here in half hour. I want you ready in 15." She then holds out her palm and looks at me pointedly.

I cannot even begin to fight with her. I love her too much to scold her for ordering me about. Hence, with a sigh, I place my sword in her palm, handing it over as a sign of surrender. She drops her pointed look as I place my hand on top of her head next and answer softly, "As you wish, Princess."

She smiles back, happy. I know how much today means to her... to all of us. For her happiness, I'd give anything. 'Thank you," she whispers in relief before informing in a normal octave, "I picked your outfit out."

I'm sure it'll be the whole traditional she-bang and though it's a hassle, I nod in response. "Go ahead."

She starts to walk away and just as she reaches the doors, she turns back and points a finger to remind. "15 minutes."

I confirm, "15 minutes."

And, all it took was that long to permanently change the course of my life.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

          My phone chimes on the desk where I am sitting in the security room at AR Fashion House. This may seem boring to people but they do not realize just how much detail you can learn about a person when they don't think someone could be watching them - observing them in their natural state.

Sure, it is a complete invasion of privacy but I am not doing this for entertainment anyway. They very well know a camera is pointed at them. They just don't believe someone could be watching them - that they could actually be functional. And those to who do know, they know how to block it from their mind.

I have access to this room so I can keep an eye on Jhanvi from a distance. But, that girl, is still a mystery to me. Despite shadowing her movements for months, it's not easy to understand her. It's rare to find a flicker of emotion on her face. When she is in office, she is the textbook definition of professionalism. I wouldn't know if she is different out of the office setting... but she must be, yes?

She and Aarav were getting engaged, after all.

I told myself the only curiosity I should have for her would be her plans for each day. I don't need to be curious about her. I just need to get my job done. My personal mission depended on it.

I check the message on my screen from Eva telling me that Jhanvi wanted to go shopping at the mall and that she'd tried to tag along but Jhanvi wouldn't let her.

Looks like I'll be following her then.

I leave the cramped security room and make it to my car before Jhanvi can get to hers. The entire time she is inside the mall, I follow her from a safe distance. She goes about carefree doing her shopping.

Two hours later, I am following her into the basement parking. I hear a sound of a car remote beeping behind me. I turn towards it, cautiously, only to find nothing out of the ordinary. Cars were parked as they should be. No one was following us. And yet, I did hear the sound.

Something was wrong. My entire body turns alert.

I look ahead again to find a person walking between the two of us. He reaches into the back of his pants to pull out an item. Oh, hell no. The second I see the silver color of the knife, I spring forward to catch him before he can reach her. Grabbing his wrist and twisting it, I cover his mouth with my other hand. He tries to fight back but I drag him behind a pillar.

At the sound of a car starting up, my attention transfers to it. Pulling out of its spot, it was heading straight to her. I knew I had heard something earlier. Whoever it was, they were waiting in lieu. In the moment I am distracted, the attacker fights against my grip to slice the knife through my side.

Without so much as a wince, my eyes return to him. blank and deadly. If he thought knifing me would unable me from saving Jhanvi, he had another thing coming. He tries to attack again but I grab the sharp edge of the knife. It cut through the skin of my palm and his eyes widened in fear when I continue to stare at him with a deathly glare.

I could hear the car gaining speed while Jhanvi was in her own world listening to music through her ear plugs. Pulling out my gun, I hit its barrel on the attacker's head. He didn't drop unconscious but it was enough for him to drop the knife and clutch his head in his hands.

Pushing him off, I ran at full speed towards Jhanvi. The one driving the car must have spotted me in a mirror for they pressed the accelerator. I force my legs to carry me as fast as they can. I could not let anything happen to Jhanvi. I had taken her responsibility. When Aarav had asked me to keep a team for her protection, I had insisted I was enough. If anything happens to her, it would be on me and I refuse to let that be on my conscious. I have never failed in protecting my charge. I have no intention of starting now and breaking my own record.

She turns around, able to hear the car as it was close. Her eyes widen but she freezes up. I have heard of this happening a million times in such situations. You see something catastrophic approaching you and yet your body betrays you by freezing in place even when it knows you need to move to safety.

At the last counting second, the bumper of the car hit her but before she would fall and the car could run her over, I grab her hand and pull her to the side. She lets out a gasp, her fingers clutching my shoulder as I twirl her away from the impact and work on maintaining both our stance so we don't fall under the acting speed from my run.

I look past her shoulder to catch the number but the car screeches away, around the corner. Then, I hear something whipping past my ear. I move a step to my side, looking at the pillar in front of me. in particular, the bullet fired our way. As I look back towards the first attacker, the second bullet he fires grazes past my shoulder.

I muffle the impact from getting hit and lift my hand to point the gun at him when my attention vaguely returns to Jhanvi. Her face is hidden in my chest. I can feel her body trembling. I consider my choices even as a bike comes to a stop in front of the first attacker. He gets on and rides away with his getaway partner.

My concern for Jhanvi won over my temptation to follow the attackers. I couldn't leave her here in this state for my own reasons. For now, what matters is the attack was foiled - with some damage but nothing life-threatening.

I hide my gun in its place before she'd see it and find herself even more terrified. Then, I bring my hand to her shoulder to nudge her into looking up. "It's okay. You're okay. You're safe."

After a passing moment, she finally manages to pull back just enough to open her eyes and tilt her head up to look at me. At once, I spot the fear in them as if reality just crashed down on her and she could not cope with her surroundings.

Fear of death. It grapples me in a freezing moment... remembering the last time I saw the same fear in another pair of eyes... as I helplessly watched, holding her frail body in my arms and the last glimmer of light escaped her being.

I could not save her... but I realize in the moment with the hits I had taken in the past few minutes that I would have given my life if it came to that to save Jhanvi. And that shocks me for what it is worth. Not the part that I suddenly care for my life. No, I still could give a damn about that. The shocking part is that I was capable of putting precedence to Jhanvi over catching Dinesh's men who could have led me to him.

It makes it harder to admit because somewhere, I realize that it was not just because I did not want to endanger Jhanvi or to save face in front of the Raizada's because I had insisted on working alone. This was not about that at all.

No.

It is that Eva was right. I repeated it to myself so many times that I no longer had a soul that I started to actually believe it. But, just now, realizing I was not willing to put an innocent's life, Jhanvi's life, over my mission spells everything out to me that I have kept locked up.

Not caring for anything or anyone made me dangerous before. But... the thing about caring? From past experience, that ability unleashes sometimes even more hazardous.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

∞ author note ∞

You find out a lot more about Aarush, but I'm sure it's all still mysterious? If even comes to a theory about him, let it be known!

QOTC: What do you make of Aarush's character so far? His personal mission that he mentions? His conversation with Eva (who knows everything about him)?

Vote & Comment! Missing them :(