Posted: March 26th, 2018

♚Aarush ♚

2.28 Dangerous Bet

          I notice the pendant resting between her collarbones through the net of her light pink tippet before she turns and navigates the crowd to reach her room. I don't know how I did not see it before... or why I thought three months ago that she might be humoring me, asking me to put it around her chain but only wear it for a day or two. When did... no why did she make it a part of her?

Eva snaps her fingers in front of me and I blink back at her to realize Aarav wasn't with us. When did he excuse himself? Eva demands, "So, what are you really doing here?"

"Attending your wedding, ofcourse."

She crosses her arms over her chest in a stance of intimidation. "Rawal, you know better than to bullshit me. You were pretty insistent in your emails that you couldn't make it."

I debate internally if this is something I should tell her. It's her wedding. The only thing on her mind should be looking ahead to her married life.

She adds in a question, "Is it Jhanvi?"

I catch the unsaid question, if her life is in danger again. "No..." When she gives me a stern look, I give in, "Maybe. I came across some encrypted communication two weeks ago."

"About?" She presses for more information.

Looking around, I reach for her elbow and walk to a more secluded corner, away from any prying ears. "Her father is in town and there's only one reason he'd be here."

I don't need to say it explicitly for her to understand.

Seeing the concern rising on her face, I ask. "Look, don't worry, okay? He's not going to get to her. Just focus on your wedding."

She sighs, a soft smile on her lips. "Aarush, I'm not worried about her. I'm just... mad that this keeps happening. A cycle of violence towards her when she has done nothing of fault except be born into this royal family. It's not fair, you know? That poor girl has seen enough in her young life so far. We have too, yes, but we chose to be in the army. We chose this life for us. She didn't."

"Royalty is still in her blood. She is a fighter, Eva."

She chuckles lightly, "Right. Who else would be able to better connect to her than you."

"Eva." I say her name in a warning for this is not a part of my life that I like to talk about.

"What, Aarush?" She challenges, "For how long will you keep running from the reality of who you are?"

"I'm an army officer and that's all."

She shakes her head in disappointment, "That's what you keep telling her, right? That protecting her is just your job?"

"It is my job. Or, was. I'm no longer assigned to her case."

She scoffs a laugh, "Please, Aarush. We both know you don't get assigned to a case. You decide where you want to go and because of you who are, even your supervisors can't say no."

"Don't you think you're exaggerating? I'm just a captain." I try to get her to stop but she turns a deaf ear to me.

"You picked this, Aarush, and don't say it was just because I asked for your help. When I reached out to you, do you remember what your initial answer was?" When I refuse to answer, she continues to press. "No. Because you didn't want anything to do with what would deter you from your personal vendetta. Until I gave you the details."

I question starting to get a little irritated. "What do you want me to say, huh?"

She opens her mouth to snap back but after whatever look she sees in my eyes, perhaps helplessness, she drops the idea. After a sigh to calm herself, she asks gently. "Where were you the past three months?"

"Here."

She narrows her eyes in confusion for a second before her forehead eases and the crinkles disappear. She lets out a smile, shaking her head. "All along, you were right under our noses, weren't you?"

"Well, not technically. I was at the base. Until a week ago, I didn't come into the city." I answer honestly for even if I was within driving distance, I was at the military base in Jaipur. "And this one, I did not personally choose. They needed an officer to test some new equipment before approving the buy."

She compliments, "And no one knows guns better than you."

"Your would-be is quite close to giving me a competition," I muse back, glad to be on a safer topic to discuss rather than my personal life.

"Lucky for you, he'll be sticking to teaching at the academy from now on. You can be out there in the field being a hero." The aimless back and forth only continues so long before she gets back to things that matter, "So, what now?"

"Now, you focus on your wedding and leave the rest to me."

"Rawal, I am not..."

I cut off her protest, "Eva, I mean it. You've waited years for this, to marry Jigar. It's finally happening. Live your life. You have my word. I won't let anything happen to Jhanvi. He may have a shrewd mind but he is no devil's incarnate."

"Until he is," She expresses in uncertainty.

I take her hand to convey my sincerity and determination, "I have no intention of turning Inaaya into an orphan too like her mother. I made a promise to that little girl that she'll always have her mother growing up. So, trust me?"

She lets out a nod, a lot at ease than before. "I do. Just... don't get careless with yourself, okay?"

I nod back halfheartedly. I would try to not be reckless but if it comes down to putting myself between Jhanvi and danger, I would keep doing that infinity times if need be.

Some reason, she keeps pulling me back to her.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

          An hour later, I look for Jhanvi and find her walking towards the back entrance with Inaaya and Annie. There is no security in the back and my paranoia getting the best of me, I follow her. They catch up with Aarav and I cannot hear their conversation but just a minute after, she turns and walks back, leaving Annie with Aarav.

I stay there in the distance and wait for her to walk back. When she is in hearing distance, I speak up, "I see you're still playing matchmaker between your friend and ex-husband."

She leaps up at first for not knowing I will appear out of nowhere. "I will never get used to this," she says hinting at my knack for appearing randomly and startling her. Though, if I recall, it's the first time I have startled her. "And, actually, I was done playing matchmaker months ago. Tonight, I was just the messenger."

I genuinely ask, "How do you do it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Aarav. You could've lived a life with him."

"It wouldn't have been real." She answers with a soft smile, glancing back to Aarav and Annie where he is standing behind her and arms wrapped around her. "We wouldn't have been true to ourselves... and that's not the idea of love I have."

Curiosity killed the cat. "What is your idea of love then?"

She turns her attention to Inaaya, kissing her fisted hand. "For now, Inaaya."

"C'mon, I'm serious." I press for an answer.

She blinks up to me, internally debating, before her shoulders drop a little. "I don't know what love means to me but from everything I have seen this past year, I know what it does not mean to me. My idea of love is not about someone making me a priority in their life or someone who feels obligated to be with me because of a promise. I guess... the only kind of love I might want is one where even if it is just for a short moment, it feels like I have lived a lifetime in that moment with that person. With everything happening in my life - one danger after another - I have learned that I don't believe in happily ever after's. They are not meant for me. I believe in the now, taking a few memories and holding on to it. That... that is enough for me. That is all I can afford."

I don't know what it is about her answer that brews a melancholic feeling in the pits of my stomach. Such a young person should not have to be so realistic. Her idea of love should be idealistic... but I can't deny her reasoning. She has seen enough in her life the past month to drastically change her opinion on things. To have a different perspective on life. On love.

"Who doesn't believe in happily ever after's?"

"Not all love comes in the form of spending every day of your life with your partner." She patiently explains as we walk at a pace slower than normal. "You can be happy holding on to a few good memories too. You know what they say... you can love many people in a lifetime, some even marry multiple times thinking that this time, this is it. That they have found the one, but they only truly fall in love once... the kind of love that's lasting and not bound to anything. The kind you feel in your soul."

I nod along, concluding, "So you do believe in true love."

She quietly answers, "I have to."

I don't understand the language she uses - have - for it's not a compulsion, is it? Though, I do not question it and allow the familiar silence to fall between us.

Just before we reach the gates to walk inside, she points out. "We need to talk."

I nod, knowing I have to give her answers for the threat she is facing. She deserves a heads up that her father may be in town. "After the celebrations, I'll come find you."

Agreeing, she nods and speaks to Inaaya, "Princess, say bye to Aarush Uncle."

Inaaya responds by shifting closer to her neck and wrapping her arms around her neck in a tight hug, sleepy. I chuckle back at her while Jhanvi smiles as well.

"Guess the introductions will continue to have to wait," she speaks to me before taking her cue to leave, most probably return to her room to put Inaaya to bed.

Standing here, alone, I think at her take on love.

Just a few moments.

A few memories that last a lifetime.

The feeling that moves your soul.

I breathe out with a heavy heart. Is that not what I have been doing so far? Living my life holding on to those memories from my younger days. But, the painful part is that lately, it is getting tough for me to remember her face in those memories. Before, every time I would close my eyes, I could see it clearly. That smile. I could hear her laughter. I could hear her voice. The depth of those black eyes. The softness of her skin.

After 8 years now, it was fading away and I didn't like it one bit.

That is not true love.

You do not forget that person and yet, it is what is happening.

The most frustrating part? The image is being replaced. And that... that is a dangerous bet.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

          Minutes later, I return inside to the tense environment. A lot of the guests have left and it is only immediate family and relatives. I notice Eva in tears, hugging Jigar while he was patting her back comforting her and approach them, "Hey, what...?"

Jigar looks up at me trying to fight his own tears, "Her grandfather passed away."

I inhale sharply at the news and there can be no words for remorse. To have your grandfather pass away in less than a week from your wedding?

Sam, her uncle, informs, "The jet will be here in half hour. We should all, uh..." He trails off, trying to stay strong but it was his father who had just passed away. His wife, Lavanya, comes to stand by his side placing a supporting hand on his shoulder and squeezing gently to keep him from breaking down in this moment.

I walk around the couch and squat on my toes to reach Eva's sitting height. "Eva..."

It was so different seeing her crumpling. It takes time coming to terms with a personal loss. I am very familiar with these feelings. But still, the Eva I've known since we first met at the academy has always been a strong person who never took any crap from anyone, never a wince or a crinkle on her face even at the toughest of training. I have always looked up to her. And seeing her feet faltering is not a sight I ever want to see.

Hearing my voice and hand on her elbow, she pulls back just enough from Jigar for me to see her tear stained face. Shedding my unemotional façade that I carry around, my eyes soften as my heart goes out to her and I hug her tightly, one hand on her head. Even though I say nothing, she mumbles as we part. "Thank you."

I blink back at her. I did not need to say anything. She knows that I understand her pain. Hence, I simply ask. "What can I do?"

Sniffing, she speaks as her voice breaks. "Jh-jhanvi."

I nod at once for that is a given. She nods back, lowering her head and shoulders begin shaking again. Jigar moves closer, hugging her to his chest and murmuring soothing words to her. I stand up, squeezing Jigar's shoulder to pass strength and condolences for he is trying to stay strong for both of them.

Stepping out of the family, not wanting to intrude in their loss, I make myself invisible though I watch as everything unfolds. In a few minutes afterwards, Jigar manages to talk Eva into packing a few clothes in a bag for their travel to Delhi for the funeral and other rituals. As said, in half hour, cars line up at the front of the palace to drive them all to their private jet.

Aarav and Annie were with them as well. Their romantic night was cut short. Just before getting in a car, Aarav reminds Jhanvi to take things slow and take care of herself. She replies, asking him to focus on his family right now - his adopted mother Lavanya and her husband, Sam. And Eva.

She inhales deeply as the cars file out and there's only a few workers left in the palace as they are working on pulling out the decorations. Walking inside, she tells them all to leave for the night and come back to clean up in the morning as it is almost 11 at night. All the guards were stationed out of the palace, leaving four people in the house. Herself, Inaaya, me, and a guard in the security room.

I pull open the main frame on my phone through which I have been keeping an eye inside the palace and put the camera feed in Jhanvi's room to a loop. Just long enough for me to sneak inside without being detected. Getting to her room was easier for I knew the blind spots having watched live feed for days before making my presence known to her yesterday.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

          After slipping inside the room and hiding behind the screen where I would not be seen, I pull out my phone to text her where I am. Just then, the lights turn on and I realize she must have left straight for her room, right after me.

With her eyes closed and a hand folded on her shoulder, pressing over her sore muscles, she sighs, letting the tiredness in. Leaving her phone on the bed, she walks to the dresser. I send that message and even see the phone screen light up but she seems to have kept her phone on silent for she continues on with taking out her jewelry.

Then, she takes her tippet off from around her neck and lets it drop on the bed. Walking to the drawers, pulls clothes to change into and walks towards the screen. Her hand returns to her neck as she moves her head from side to side.

Hanging the PJs and shirt off the top of the screen, she opens her eyes and then widen at once as they fall on me. I catch her lips parting and instantly leap forward to cover her mouth, least she let out a squeal. With a finger on my lips, I motion for her to be quiet.

She exhales, breath fanning my fingers as she nods. Her eyes return to normal and as I pull my hand back, her shoulders uncoil. Whispering, she questions. "What are you doing here?!"

I whisper back, "I told you I'd come find your after."

She glares, "Here?"

I see she is questioning how I am behind the changing screen, not the fact that I am in her bedroom. "It's the only blind spot in the room. I sent you a text but I am guessing your phone is on silent."

She lets out a sigh, releasing her quick temper with it. I have to keep my eyes to her face so they don't wander. "How did you get inside?'

I give her a look for I was certainly not going to give up my secrets.

"Fine," She mutters under her breath, "Wait." She walks out of the folding screen and to the switch board where she turns off the lights before walking back behind the screen.

"Why did you turn off the lights?"

She answers in an obvious tone, "Because I want to change, duh. Do you realize how heavy the dress is?" I open my mouth but shut it on realizing it was a rhetorical question. "Now turn around." She motions with a wave of her hand, which I can only tell due to the sounds from her bangles adorning her wrist that she still hasn't taking off.

I turn my back to her to give her privacy.

I cont  inue to hear the jingling of her bangles. Seconds later, she warns. "You better not have turned."

I lightly scold, "What kind of a person do you take me for?"

"Obviously, one who deems it okay to creep at people through cameras under the excuse of safety."

I roll my eyes at her hint over when I had been looking at the feed earlier in the evening to notice her struggling to pick which dress to wear. "Helped you out, didn't I?"

"Some help," She mutters with irritation. The sound of her bangles is an ongoing struggle. My brows narrow for why it is taking her this long to change. She just has to take off the blouse and skirt. Even changing out of a sari wouldn't take this long and this is but a choli. The easiest. No pins. No pleats. No layers.

"Hey, Jhanvi?"

"Hmm."

I say it before I change my mind, "You looked beautiful tonight."

The shifting of her bangles stops for a second and the room is engulfed in complete silence except for the soft hum of the air coming from the air conditioning vents. I don't blame her for being surprised at the compliment. The clinking of bangles returns, "Thank you. Uh, you in that sherwani..."

"Yeah... dress code so..." It wasn't a choice but a requirement. I can't remember the last time I wore a traditional. No... that's wrong. I do remember. It was an engagement ceremony years ago.

She hisses, "God damn it."

"Is everything okay?" I question carefully and it seems to be a question to not ask when she is suddenly irritated.

"No!" She exclaims and I learn it was certainly a wrong question to ask for she has a melt-down while she rants, "I'm apparently not flexible enough and can't reach for these stupid hooks so I can flipping change. Nothing fits me. My hormones are everywhere. I am sleep deprived and as much as I love Inaaya, she wakes up at god forsaken hours of the night and I am losing it. Now, you come back and tell me there is still a target on my back and it all feels like it is happening all over again and I am just... tired. I can't do this! No. I don't want to. I just want to get out of this stupid dress and sleep and not think about anything else but apparently, it's too much to ask for!"

Running out of breath, speaking it all in one, she inhales sharply and exhales with a huff. As she takes a second, she apologies. "Sorry. I did not mean to go off on you. It's just..."

I turn to face her despite her earlier warnings for one thing her rant does let me know is that she is still decently dressed. "Exhausting," I complete her sentence, speaking softly to validate her emotions. "I hear you."

As my eyes have adjusted to the dark, I follow the sounds of her bangles to her face where she wipes her cheeks and though not once had her voice cracked, I do imagine the rant has her emotional with her tears betraying the control she usually has over her emotions.

Reaching for her shoulders, I try to turn her but she stands her ground. Confused.

"Let me help?" I request

Understanding, she allows me to turn her around so her back is now facing me. Any other time, I might have thought twice before helping her with what breaches personal space and concept of professionalism. But, right now... she just needs help. I'm sure she always knew being a single mother would not be easy but also in her defense, the people here are making her life more difficult than it needs to be.

If I can offer some sort of uncomplication in her life, it's the least I can do.

As I reach for the hooks, I break the silence. "I am sorry I never come bearing good news."

She sighs, and speaks in a softer tone as well, one hand on her waist while other returns to her shoulder to massage it. "It's not your fault. You do mean well... I know that. I am sorry for being rude."

I speak in her defense so she won't be so hard on herself, "You were being honest. I get it."

When she feels the blouse loosening as I undo the top two hooks, her muscles release some tension. "Thanks," she says but her hand on her shoulder is only an indication that she is still stiff.

I let the last hook stay fixed as I take her hand off her shoulder. Her head turns sideways to glance back in confusion and I place my hands on her shoulders. I shouldn't be touching her. It should be forbidden. It feels forbidden, but in the moment, all I see is making her feel slightly better. As I put some pressure over her shoulder muscles, I realize just how tensed they are.

Her breath hitches and I lift my palms off her shoulder, worrying I crossed a line when she assures. "Mm, no. That felt good."

I understand it was just a reaction to her sore muscles and return my hands to her shoulders. Pressing lightly in a soft massage, she almost leans into the touch. My mind is screaming at me that this is wrong but I pay no attention to it. "You know, given the circumstances..." My hands shift towards the back of her neck, "you're doing much better than anyone would expect."

She lets out a chuckle of disbelief, "Really? I'm terribly failing, Aarush."

I love the way my name rolls of her tongue in that Australian accent.

I counter, rubbing tiny circles, "I think Inaaya will disagree."

"She's too little to have her say count." She sticks to her belief that she is a terrible mother before reaching for my right hand. I pause, thinking she wants me to stop when she surprises me by nudging it back to her nape.

I have to smile slightly for she is being a lot more okay with this than I would have imagined. Over a year ago when I kept an eye on her from the shadows, I had seen how protective she was of her private space. Then again, things do seem to have changed during the year. She has learned to let loose, let people into her life, be more trusting, live in the moment and let happiness touch her whenever possible amidst all the dangers circling her.

I try to ignore the moan that escapes her throat at the light pressure. I distract myself with the conversation, "You got way more than you bargained for in life and I say, your head is still above waters. That says something, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, that I'm emotionally unhealthy."

I shake my head at her stubborn nature for refusing to go easy on herself. It's eerie how much she reminds me of myself. But she has no idea. She is not the only stubborn one here. Pausing my massage which she notices for her head turns back, I step closer to be stubborn myself and speak by her ear, "You're tougher than you think, Jhanvi. Don't doubt that."

She exhales looking ahead again, "If only I saw myself through your eyes... then I just might believe it."

Moving my hands off her nape, I trace it down to her shoulder blades, "Then believe everything I said because I just might admit to admiring you."

She chuckles at my indirect statement.

I add, "And, now you're not alone. You have me. So just, focus on yourself and your little one. Let me worry about the rest, okay?"

She doesn't respond for the longest passing seconds before she asks an unexpected question, "Why are you here?"

"What do you mean?" I question, my fingers freezing on her skin.

She turns to face me and my hands drop by my side. "You are no longer my bodyguard, Aarush. So, what are you doing here? Still protecting me, why?"

As always, her questions are tough to answer.

. . . ∞ . ∞ . ∞ . ∞. . .

∞ author note ∞

If you were a Splash reader, then you know this was coming eventually... Eva's grandfather passing away amidst wedding celebrations. Apart from that, here's Aarush and Jhanvi getting to know each other on a personal level. 

I think we girls often do this to ourselves - underplay a lot of our achievements or find it difficult to accept it proudly all that we accomplish. We are too harsh on our own self and that is not okay. It hurts us worst than anyone else. Sometimes, it takes the guys saying it for us to admit it to ourselves that yes, we have done a lot of meaningful things in life that we shouldn't brush away as 'small' and 'nothing'. 

QOTC: Some days I believe in love. Some days I don't. I'll let you know when I experience this concept of 'true love' but what is your take on it?

Vote and comment <3